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Hermes Pissmegistus

@aleph.bsky.social
2.7K followers 666 following 7.2K posts

they/them millenial dipshit, virgo, welder union 4 lyfe 🌱🪬🌱

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Reposted by Hermes Pissmegistus
Jana H-S (she, like a knife) @jana-aych-ess.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
a rabbit, running through the forest, is caught in a snare. after hours of struggling, a hunter comes to check his traps. she says, "if you free me, I will become human, and I will be your wife". the hunter cuts her free. she runs away unchanged. years later, the hunter's wife kills him in his sleep
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Jeremiah Hayden @jeremiahhayden.bsky.social · 5h
A new complaint filed Monday alleges a web of new committees funded by the Metro Chamber's United for Portland PAC violated local and state elections laws by obscuring the true funding source of political billboards and filing false campaign-finance statements.
portlandmercury.com
“DitchMitch” Billboard Campaign Violates Local and State Elections Laws, Complaint Says - Portland Mercury
A new complaint filed with the city, county, and state elections offices alleges multiple political action committees violated independent expenditure rules when they failed to properly report informa...
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LeftistJew @leftistjew.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Shame desperately needs to become part of the political lexicon in the USA so badly The right wing is utterly shameless at this point Senator Schmitt would have resigned in embarrassment in the 1950s
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Oglaf @oglaf.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
www.oglaf.com/damselfly/
Comic strip!

panel 1
a prince climbs through a window. A princess watches him enter.
Prince- Sure I could rescue you

Panel 2
Prince- but withing three months, ninety percent of rescued princesses are back inside a tower

Panel 3
Prince is really narrating this one now
Prince- at 'staircase down' we believe real change comes from accepting you're part of the problem

panel 4
Prince- and that's the most difficult part of the journey

panel 5
Princess- apart from the fire breath
Prince- The what?

Panel 6
Princess breathes fire, incinerating prince

Panel 7
Princess stands over smouldering prince skeleton

Panel 8
ghost of prince hovers over the smoking bones
Prince- I have to accept, on some level, that I needed that to happen
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Wolfy D. Lucca 🌘🐺 @spookalucca.tv · 04/10/2026
cassie was right. the shock and outrage around rape is just used to silence victims and those who would support them, and get everything "back to normal" where nobody is talking about how common rape is in our society.
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
*guy who is reading Jerusalem by Alan Moore voice*: this reminds me a lot of Jerusalem by Alan Moore!
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
picture taken post coffin flop
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
i am Writing a Strongly-Worded Letter to the Machine
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
a big challenge for me is finding motivation to finish something that has no particular due date or destination. much easier to sit down and write 5k words for a DnD campaign (deadline: next weekend. payoff: immediate) than to write the same amount for a graphic novel (deadline: never. payoff: ????)
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Elizabeth Anne, PhD @lacksauthority.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
never the wrong time for this classic
Screenshot of a tweet by @RobbtKraft reading “scientist: "does everyone here know what Watson and Crick discovered?" 
me from back of room: "Rosalind Franklin's notes"”
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lydelle BLEAAAH!ster @babyshoes4cash.com · 05/10/2026
german vampires being asked to be turned are like "no. you must fill out your Vampirsprufung at Transylvanische vampire bureau. you must a- how you say, Tauglichkeitsschein- health certificate? from a dentist acquiring. your teeth may be too short to qualify for joining our trade union"
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
it turns out the Plague that killed 1/3 of Europe is actually pretty easy to prevent the spread of with just like basic hygiene
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
i mean the lady at the motel said basically that and he just left lol
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Trash @trashxdiscourse.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I feel that "detransitioners" are something of a red herring. People discontinue medication all the time. I used to take estrogen. I know people who've tried 10 antidepressants. You try things until one of them works. Sometimes that thing is testosterone, sometimes it's not. No one's banning lexapro
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Watership Down when i was 5
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Jessica Price @delafina777.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
This should be so obvious that it doesn’t need to be said, but given what kind of weekend it’s been on here, apparently it does: If you don’t want old rapists running the world, in office, in the board room, making decisions for all of us get comfortable with “ruining” young rapists’ lives
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scare-cadus (is this anything) 🎃 @birdapp.rip · 05/10/2026
the horrors are unrelenting so we just need to be unrelentingier
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
my only additions to this would be -meet your basic needs for 48 hours in a place where you do not speak the language -spend at least 48 hours without plumbing or electricity
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
cargo space?? no, car go road
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Weird Alex @jackalpants.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
The trans war flag. Had some fun with this! Deeper colours than the peacetime trans flag, square, with a guisarme on it- a peasant's weapon that's particularly good at fighting anyone rich enough to be on a horse, that you can use as a farmer's tool in peacetime.
The trans war flag. Square, with deep blue in the bottom left, warm pink in the top right, and a thick band of white separating the colours that runs from the top left to the bottom right.

From bottom left to top right is a black icon of a guisarme.
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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
In the post apocalypse I shall use the night sky to tell my children epic tales about the constellations. “There, my son, that’s Elaine the graceful. And of course George the wicked. Jerry’s the one who can’t act. We don’t talk about Kramer anymore.”
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Patrick "Inverted Vibe Curve" Blanchfield @patblanchfield.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I don't think I've made this point on this platform before it's no coincidence IMO that so much fash faux nostalgia AI slop is indistinguishable from the most gonzo dystopian "what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war, this is the sixth Reich" parodies, IE:
its charlie kirk rting an obviously AI image of a 4th of july parade saying "this is what we're fighting for." indeed.its the roswell level from wolfenstein new order. if you haven't played it, it's really something. before going into the cafe, make sure to explore the whole level, sticking around to listen to the npc dialogue in full. fucking dead on.
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
yeah you’re right, new HP content is lukewarm corporate slop being shoved down the throats of consumers too exhausted to bother finding a better option anyway, trans rights forever, boycott starbucks!
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Sarah Taber @sarahtaber.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
on the subtle art of campaign management
Screenshot from tumblr. User "mangonetics" posts "ah shit they're gaining on us. we gotta jettison some weight. throw all those stolen boomerangs out we don't need em"

user "supreme-leader-stoat" replies "On it, boss!"

and then later replies "Bad news, boss!"
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helen @homotoptheory.northsky.social · 01/10/2026
tumblr post:
weepingchoir
Aug 31, 2023
Every time some fash posts about Real Art vs
Duchamp's Fountain it's like lol that urinal has been kicking your ass for a hundred years

weepingchoir
Aug 31, 2023
Marcel Duchamp kicked the bucket 55 slutty, slutty years ago and you can't get him out of your head.
You're half as old as he is dead and you are worshiping at his altar, you are drinking his piss. He won.
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
guy with a keelhauling kink
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Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
all these seemed the strange calm things preluding some riotous and desperate scene
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
oh boy this just reminded me i gotta go inject my cross sex hormones
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C.K. @ck20xx.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I still think about how Biden cracked down on college students protesting the Gaza genocide. How do you explain to young voters that one party is good and one party is evil when both of them want to imprison you for exercising free speech?
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Night of the Abigail @popeguilty.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
what if you were a medieval monk dabbling in the occult and you summoned a demon and instead of teaching you magic he teaches you what a Turing Machine is and you don't get it and he's like I am trying to help you here and you're like I really just wanted to poison my boss so I can be the Abbot
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
for me it’s “a death that leaves generations of archaeologists puzzled and intrigued”
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thicc husband and father @lukeisamazing.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
thinking about this again and smiling
“james hennessy: it's sad reading like 14th century Christian theologians who spent an inordinate amount of time writing "OK there are exactly 3,892 demons and these are their names and these are their powers"... man, you would have loved Dragonball Z
Sep 27, 2023 at 9:32 pm”
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
*making direct eye contact while spreading glue on PVC coupling, moaning softly as i shove the pipe in*
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Garth Marenghi's Catbus @catbus.phd · 01/10/2026
#discourse
retrowave graphic reading 

socialism or barbarism 
now more than ever
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
modernist design collective in the Bojack Horseman universe called The BauWauHaus (it’s full of dogs wearing berets and small round glasses)
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Sleekvira @sleek.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
For whom the bau hauses
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
i thought mail was already too expensive? 🤔
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log̷o, reanimated dad @loxophile.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Like just enforce antitrust laws again. At all. Any of em. Just... use the laws that are already there
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
i love endorsing hereditary monarchy by playing Crusader Kings III
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
yikes, imagine if trump ran a country
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
i turned off every single option for facebook ad targeting and immediately got a set of ads for industrial quantities of sulfuric acid
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public health guy @publichealthguy1.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
i genuinely forgot how bad this was
buzzfeednews.com
Nobody Believed Neil deGrasse Tyson's First Accuser. Now There Are Three More.
No one believed Tchiya Amet when she said Tyson had raped her in the 1980s. Now, three other women tell BuzzFeed News that he harassed them, including one who’s sharing her story publicly for the firs...
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glavo lilio @glavilio.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
this is my favorite post ever
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Miaganga @miaganga.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
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Kaitlin Kal Lee @kaitlinkallee.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
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Amber @risettemd.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
"Are you and Michelle the same in private as you are here?"
Amber and Michelle doing a funny Sponge Bob knockoff about Diogenes of Sinope fucking with Plato
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Hermes Pissmegistus @aleph.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
every dude before i transitioned
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Union Thug™️ @theunionthug.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Charge the students, and go after every Cornell administrator that was involved.
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