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Alastair Lawless

@alastairlawless.bsky.social
670 followers 1.5K following 1.2K posts

Chronically fatigued quondam actor, milonguero, law reformer. SVQ in furniture-making. Will answer to “Hi!” or to any loud cry.

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Alastair Lawless
Henry Mance @henrymance.ft.com · 9h
Rough times for Venezuela's Nicolas Maduro, who since being taken into US custody appears to have undergone breast enhancement
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Jonn Elledge @jonnelledge.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Wrote about this last year - all the "AI will save you all time you spend on emails!" stuff just made me think, "wow you have never even encountered the concept of 'induced demand' have you"
jonn.substack.com
What cars did to your city, AI will do to your brain
Once again, I rage against the dying of the light. Also this week: some maps to show that England is not concreting the countryside; and the longest conveyor belt in the world.
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Dr. Peter Paul Rubens @peterpaulrubens.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Died (alas!) on this day in 1469, the not-very-friarly Fra Filippo Lippi. Great renaissance painter, & father of Filippino Lippi. Here looking at you from corner of his own Coronation of the Virgin.
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Alastair Lawless @alastairlawless.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
If you need more keys for a Yale lock, consider changing the cylinder instead. A new cylinder with 6 keys is about £12, direct from Yale with free UK postage.
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Raysident Evil @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 07/10/2026
Yakko and Wakko should leave the nurse alone. Firstly, she is just trying to do her job as a nurse. Secondly, she is clearly more woman than they could handle. She would destroy them, mind, body, and spirit.
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RedScharlach @redscharlach.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
NO. DO NOT DO THIS. Do NOT think about The Event and under NO circumstances attempt to relive The Event. This may cause DISTRESS and CONFUSION. REMAIN INDOORS.
A double decker London bus with a poster on the side of it, saying “Relive the Event”. The poster is advertising Disney+ and the event in question is the Oasis reunion tour.
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Alastair Lawless @alastairlawless.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
So I went away to Barcelona for a week while my windows were being renovated. Was told they’d start the day I left and take 5 days. Insurance company notified of date of works and off I go. Just come back to half of the windows untouched and half boarded up. I’m fuming.
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Alastair Lawless @alastairlawless.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I won’t be rewatching Digger, but it inspired me finally to watch Synecdoche, New York, which will stay with me forever.
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Jonny Morris @jonnymorris.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Ah, back in the days when this sort of thing was an exaggerated satire.
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Pete Fraser @petefrasermusic.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
”Vodka! But never mix it with beer, she said so sensibly!”
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Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
Great chance to post my all-time favorite headline
The Radium Water Worked Fine Until His Jaw Came Off
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Alastair Lawless @alastairlawless.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Some proper Catalan scran: esqueixada (cod salad), tripa amb capipota amb cigrons (tripe and fore and aft ends of pig with chickpeas) and botifarró (blood sausage) with more chickpeas. Lots of other appealing stuff on the menu too.
EsquiexadaTripa amb capipota amb cigronsBotifarró (amb cigrons)A blackboard with the Plats del Día
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Alastair Lawless @alastairlawless.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
A Paul Thomas Anderson double bill at the Filmoteca de Catalunya. Magnolia remains magnificent, Punch-Drunk Love a charming oddity.
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Dr Hannah M. Rowland @hannahmrowland.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Hope your day was better than Darwin’s, on this day 165 years ago
I am very poorly today & very stupid & hate everybody &everything.

Charles Darwin
Letter to Charles Lyell
1st October 1861
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The Author, Séamas O'Reilly @seamas.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It's particularly obvious when you try to port this worldview onto any national category which doesn't have an arbitrary, secondary catch-all. What would the Irish equivalent of this even mean? "You're not Irish, of course, but we'll let you call yourself Hibernian if you like"?
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John Bull @garius.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
My teacher brother has just informed me that his primary school kids now refer to anything shit or old fashioned as "Brexit". Which has made my morning.
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The Empty City @davidallengreen.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Manchester City are appealing, but also are not.
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Luke Ontario @coolhand.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Every time I see a serial killer tv show advertised I think of this
My dad used to work with Ted Bundy at the University of Utah and every Friday my dad would say, "See ya Monday-Bundy" and I can't imagine how much Ted actually thought about murdering him for
it.
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Odd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Well, happy Charles Darwin is “very poorly today & very stupid & hate[s] everybody & everything” to all who celebrate, because he wrote those words in a letter to his friend (and author of Principles of Geology) Charles Lyell 161 years ago today
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Kris Wilson @kriswilson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
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Tania Doney @taniadoney.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
So, who's your money on? Gérard Depardieu? Javier Bardem? Personally, I suspect Jackie Woodburne (Susan off Neighbours).
UK news
Marco Rubio says foreign actor was 'clearly' behind suspected plot at UK airbase
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MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Most of a snail is storage.
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Giles Wilkes @gilesyb.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
"Yes, he must persuade people that his preferred solution to the social care crisis is the right one, but, before that, he must reach the large number of people who aren’t even aware that there is a crisis to begin with" giftarticle.ft.com/giftarticle/... by @stephenkb.bsky.social
giftarticle.ft.com
What ‘Choosin’ Texas’ tells us about Burnham’s social care obstacles
Convincing the British public to pay higher taxes for something they wrongly assume the state provides will not be easy
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
This is true. In 2016, I got into an argument with a gay man on a menswear forum. I've since made it my mission to make every man dress gay, thereby destroying his ability to tell who is actually gay and, ultimately, his chances of finding love. I built my social media following to achieve that goal
Someone on Twitter writes to me: "People should follow your advise if they want to look gay."
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Odd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
Today would have been the 83rd birthday of Bernard William Jewry, had he not sadly died in 2014 at the relatively young age of 72. This wouldn’t be especially remarkable had he not spent the previous 40 years going by the name Alvin Stardust
A man with black bouffant hair and sideburns looks moodily at camera, wearing a black leather (possibly snakeskin/faux snakeskin) jacket, black gloves and huge jewellery. Or, in the words of his Telegraph obituary “an extravagantly quiffed, leather-clad rocker with preposterous sideburns and chunky rings worn over tight-fitting leather gloves”
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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Happy 12th anniversary to this immensely important editorial in Britain’s newspaper of record, the [checks notes] Sunday Sport.
Editorial in the Sunday Sport: 

SUNDAY Sport likes to remain above the squabbles and spats which often divide our tired old
Fleet Street rivals.
We serve our readers, not the petty rivalries of editors or proprietors.
But we are today forced to join a debate after our very integrity was questioned by The Guardian.
And the heated issue is the spelling
of the word "BELLEND".
This left-wing,
loss-making house
journal of Britain's chattering classes recently updated its style guide - the manual which tells its journalists how to spell certain oft-misspelt words.
In defiance of common sense and common decency Guardian bigwigs have decreed their galley slaves spell out bellend as "bell-end"
They
may find
this bohemian
departure from orthodoxy "challenging" but it is a direct assault on the English language.
Do not forget, the teachers of Britain suckle at the teat of The Guardian like hungry puppies.
This misspelling of bellend will be forced into the easily-moulded minds of our nation's schoolchildren.
The
Guardian.
Wrong about everything. Always.
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Radley Balko @radleybalko.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I feel you, Daniel L
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Alastair Lawless @alastairlawless.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I’d rather hang on to my 16-year old Peugeot 107.
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Ulrike Franke @rikefranke.eu · 26/09/2026
I love this @xkcd.com comic. So accurate.
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🍎 Lisa Brassington @agperiurban.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
#Brisbane butcher has been asked to stop selling “pork swords” after a shopper complained about his window display. The $4.50 sausage creations were deemed inappropriate for a family shopping centre. Now removed from view, see the large sign reading: “Please ask to see my pork sword.” #ausag #food
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Giles Wilkes @gilesyb.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
“The central economic problem of resilience,” said Lang, “is that it asks capitalism to do what it doesn’t want to do at the moment.” giftarticle.ft.com/giftarticle/... @willoyd.bsky.social has started writing for the FT! this is good news. Nothing in this article is, though...
giftarticle.ft.com
How resilient is Britain?
As climate and geopolitical risks cast doubt on the UK’s ability to cope in a crisis, leaders are turning from ‘just in time’ to ‘just in case’ as a governing philosophy
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The Empty City @davidallengreen.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
It takes a loading error to produce such candour.
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Steve Doherty @stevedoherty.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
A joy forever. Even when you know what’s coming. Maybe *because* you know what’s coming.
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Neil Norman And His Cosmic Orchestra @fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
You’ve never truly experienced A Hard Day’s Night until you’ve heard it in the original Shakespeare.
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Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
GETTING THIS TITLE AWAY IS THE TRIUMPH OF THE YEAR. Blackmere is coming. variety.com/2026/tv/glob...
variety.com
Charlie Brooker’s New Netflix Series Gets Title, ‘Blackmere,’ as Rory Kinnear Joins Cast and First-Look Photos Revealed
Charlie Brooker's new series has revealed its title, "Blackmere," as Rory Kinnear joins the cast.
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Ed Morrish @edmorrish.com · 24/09/2026
this is the guy i reposted the other day who interviewed meta employees with pervert glasses - meta have taken his video down for “harassment”. which makes it one of the most effective pieces of satire in recent memory
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Tom Gauld @tomgauld.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
My latest @newscientist.com cartoon. many more here: www.newscientist.com/author/tom-gauld/
Image: A graph with lots of red dots clustered together in a curve. The are all looking upwards at a single red dot wearing sunglasses. 

Caption: Mike was an outlier and would probably be excluded from the study, but all the other data points secretly thought he was really cool.
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Alastair Lawless @alastairlawless.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
youtu.be/kSQ8tZ35t4U
youtu.be
When Will You Die? - They Might Be Giants (Official Video)
YouTube video by ParticleMen
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
When they eventually make a movie about this time, please don't put the male politicians in good suits. IMO, the ugly, low rent tailoring should be part of the story.
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Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney @hyperplanes.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
these two people, I cannot stress enough, are in the same room together
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Matt Owen @mjowen174.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I am a writer of the words & sentences (some funny). I’ve done most things: written gags, speeches, scripts, TV ads - if you require such an individual, then I am that person. Website (here) www.mathew-owen.co.uk any RTs (or whatever they’re called on here) gratefully received. Cheers👍👍
mathew-owen.co.uk
Mathew Owen | Speech Writer | Manchester
Bespoke wedding speeches from a professional comedy writer.
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John Lister - johnlisterwriting.com @johnlister.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The tuition fees are £9,000 a year but you get a free 2:1.
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Dirk Maggs @dirkmaggs.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Dave Gibbons making this point about Lichtenstein made me very happy.
A copy of Roy Lichtenstein’s “pop art” comic book panel painting where the text and sound effects make it clear that the work was not original nor created by Lichtenstein.
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Jonesy Cartoons @jonesycartoons3.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I'm away for a bit so, as there's a new #RobinHood film out, I'll leave you with this old #cartoon favourite of mine from @privateeyenews.bsky.social
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Alastair Lawless @alastairlawless.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Is it true that Angine de Poitrine started out as plain old Mal de Tête?
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Nick Harkaway @nickharkaway.com · 19/09/2026
The RNLI is the closest you will ever get to actual Batman. When rescue is visibly, viscerally, obviously impossible; when the water is a smothering, thundering black wall and the wind is screaming straight from Hell; when you are absolutely going to die: someone’s hand pulls you out and you don’t.
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David Quantick @quantick.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
From the boss.
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Alastair Lawless @alastairlawless.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
This, the book, is a cracking read.
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Alastair Lawless @alastairlawless.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Flagging for the attention of the cartophile @rma600.bsky.social 👂 🇩🇪 🥔
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Andrew Carter @cartoir.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
LNER going for an ad strategy that is localised enough to name the correct city but not localised enough to realise the phrasing is going to annoy the city in question.
LNER YouTube advert saying 'From Edinburgh to the capital just like that...'
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