iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Replies

e.w. niedermeyer @niedermeyer.online · 06/08/2025

The Tesla Diner is a perfect metaphor for the whole Tesla brand: a bad facsimile of something that already exists, made by people who don't understand what they're recreating, with a thin veneer of superficial futurism on top, for people with no taste or self-respect www.nytimes.com/2025/08/05/d...

Tesla engineers built a proprietary tool to flatten patties for the smash burgers with crisp browned edges, held together with caramelized onions and cheese, which seemed to be on most tables. It lent the dish a superficial whiff of innovation, but the burger didn’t stand out in any meaningful way.

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Kenosha Kid, Antifa Supersoldier, 101st Wine Dads Division @matthewmarnold.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Elmo failed at self-driving cars and non-exploding space penises but he has totally disrupted the smash burger space. So much innovation

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grumpy0ldman84.bsky.social @grumpy0ldman84.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

😆

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e.w. niedermeyer @niedermeyer.online · 06/08/2025

At this point the root of the Tesla problem isn't even Elon Musk, who is doing everything he can to destroy the brand and business... the problem is that ours is a culture of hogs at the slop trough. Whether it's burgers or self-driving scams, we can't tell the difference between good and bad things

None of this seemed to deter the people in line. On my way out, I squeezed into an elevator with my colleagues, some international tourists and a few locals who’d eaten at Tesla Diner three times in one week and were already planning to come back. I couldn’t make sense of it.

“We don’t order anything except for the burgers now,” one of them told me. “Everything else is just so bad.”

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leemarvinoswald.bsky.social @leemarvinoswald.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

media.tenor.com

a robot is jumping over a box in a room with a lot of windows

ALT: a robot is jumping over a box in a room with a lot of windows

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amstermom.bsky.social @amstermom.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Once the novelty wears off, there probably won't be miles-long lines out the door, just tourists. The rest of us will go back to our old reliable (and cheaper) burger places where the chili doesn't look like baby food and the fries don't look pre-sogged-out.

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Xander O’Connor @xanderoconnor.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

if i may be so bold, it is at least pretty funny. bsky.app/profile/xand... (2 mins of me as tesla diner manager, for those into such things)

Xander O’Connor@xanderoconnor.bsky.social

YouTube Shorts link for those who prefer such things for whatever reason: youtube.com/shorts/MuS0V... (Though at least right now seems *lower* quality than the blooski version!)

youtube.com

Tesla Diner Manager Onboards You!

YouTube video by Some Dudes Named Xander

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Warren Terra @warrenterra.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Two funny things in the linked article: 1) they apparently ran out of the Cybertruck cardboard carryout boxes, which are the only thing about the diner I've seen people say nice things about 2) they took so much shit for their overpriced and underwhelming "epic bacon" that they took it off the menu

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Sniffit @sniffit.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Glitter. This kind of shit is the equivalent to sprinkling glitter on things. Muskyfinger is the Liberace of "futurists" and Tesla is his sequined cape...Twitter his bedazzled codpiece. OOOOOOH, SHINY SPARKLEY...

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kbethany.bsky.social @kbethany.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

I… is the “proprietary tool” a SPATULA?

a.co

Certified Angus Beef The Smash - Big Smash Burger Spatula Heavy Duty Stainless Steel Burger Smasher Tool for Griddle Accessories, Kitchen Gadgets, and Grill Accessories

Amazon.com: Certified Angus Beef The Smash - Big Smash Burger Spatula Heavy Duty Stainless Steel Burger Smasher Tool for Griddle Accessories, Kitchen Gadgets, and Grill Accessories : Patio, Lawn & Garden

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Malraux @malraux.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Why are we recreating stuff we already mostly have (ways of cooking burgers) instead of innovating in our core business?

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Pé 🍺🧿 @forevernever.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

They invented a spatula?

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Charlie Purcell @charliepurcell112.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

It's about time somebody innovates in the burges sector.

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Poorly Drawn Magneto @celestialteapot.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Tesla: For boors, by Boers

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C.V. Danes @cv-danes.com · 06/08/2025

Also, total disregard for the community and any disruption it causes.

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Mark @qwtchz.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

😆😅😂🤣😂😅😆

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Here'sEmmaBrody @emmabrody.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Always wondered how Elon got away with making people believe he did new things, when what he always did was take other people's ideas and inventions and pretended he was the creator In a way, AI is perfect for him. Steal people's data, research, IP, reporters' work and pretend it's Grok's brain.

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Gordos52 @gordos52.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

'Look, I built a whole machine to do what people do, so now we don't need them.' These guys are not the future. They are the past, when inventing vacuum cleaners and clothes washers actually helped save people hours of tedious labor.

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Patrick Keliher @pakelihe.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

That first sentence states that the proprietary tool is held together with caramelized onions, and that the tool is on almost everyone's table. My sixth-grade teacher would have flunked me for writing something that awful.

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Ianrobo @ianrobo.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

and a food poisoning case will happen of course

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Jœy AF @joeyaguafresca.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

OH MY GOD TESLA ENGINEERS CANNOT BE STOPPED!

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Nigel @nigel-t.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

This headline from Rolling Stone kinda sums it up 😂

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Liz Schiller #DefundthePolice @lizzzs.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Gift link. If you visit L.A., there are many, many, many better places to eat, and the money you spend will (probably) support people who aren't self centered, destructive assholes. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/05/d...

nytimes.com

At the Tesla Diner, the Future Looks Mid

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Buck Sinclair 🇨🇦 Elbows up! @nowsentient.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

Crap with a fresh scrubbed face

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Thrillhouse @tipsymcstaggr.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

You forgot the CEO who hypes the bad facsimile as the greatest thing ever that only a genius such as himself could pull off and an even better version is only a year away.

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Lalo Steensland @lalosteensland.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

El🤡n's the Potemkin Village Idiot

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The Cybernetic Sage @cybernetic-sage.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Neither does anything else Elon does... He's a cost-cutting, unethical hack who clearly misappropriates his resources & constantly fails, as a result. 'His' successes are not his own, they belong to those he paid, though he is quick to take credit/control. Nothing remotely impressive about that!

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Adam Brown @adamlbrown.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Innovation as self-aggrandising intellectual masturbation, rather than a humble and tireless desire to solve problems for the good of all

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onthedownside.bsky.social @onthedownside.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

This ^^^^ with the techbros! They think they re-invent the World every day, but only make a crappy, substandard copy of something that has existed a long time.

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Bodach (baw-ditch) @imbodach.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

Smash burgers used to be called, “what the fuck is this burnt, chintzy little meat patty”.

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ninjamonkky.bsky.social @ninjamonkky.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Tesla is a perfect metaphor for Tech Elites. You could build a quality vehicle, if you respected the knowledge of the people who have done the work for decades, stuck to one idea and set achievable goals, met them, and used that competency to build on, but instead we got gamblers playing the table.

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@radbradley.bsky.social @radbradley.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

That perfectly describes the state of the music business as well.

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John Osborn 🏳️‍🌈 @johnosborn.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Burgers will be flipped faster than the human eye can perceive.

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Greg Wester @gwestr.me · 06/08/2025

lol you can literally use any iron press, or an iron pan, or the back of a steel kitchen bowl.

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John Quentin Heywood @jqheywood.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 06/08/2025

@niedermeyer.online Excellent writing!

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Cara @caramia5.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Why are we going out to eat at a car dealership?

media.tenor.com

a woman wearing sunglasses looks at her phone and says " did i miss something ? "

ALT: a woman wearing sunglasses looks at her phone and says " did i miss something ? "

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Steve Puma @stevepuma.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

I already have one of these devices. It's called a "spatula". It attatches to my "hand".

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The 5th Dentist @walkerwest.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Can we take a moment to notice and reflect on how poorly written this sentence is: “Tesla engineers built a proprietary tool to flatten patties for the smash burgers with crisp browned edges, held together with caramelized onions and cheese, which seemed to be on most tables.”

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Chilangüero @guero.eurosky.social · 06/08/2025

This sounds like so many things in the current tech-bro world; it’s all cargo cult, no real understanding of what they’re trying to do.

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Destroyer of Worlds 🏳️‍🌈 @shinikage221.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

I bet the innovation is that the patties are made of fired workers.

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Dr. Pete Meyers @dr-pete.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Finally, innovation in the food flattening vertical.

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hulkling 86 47 @hulkling-she-her.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

selling shit to shitty people is the tesla brand

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erik-pbg.bsky.social @erik-pbg.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

It’s like the old saying goes: Over promise and under deliver

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MFSTEVE @mfsteve.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Cyberspatula

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Dan Murphy @bungdan.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Reinventing the burger press is just perfect.

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TruelyEsoteric @truelyesoteric.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

So like a George Foreman grill without the grease draining?

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nick @nickzoic.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

What percentage of customers at this godforsaken shithole are journalists?

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johnb85013.bsky.social @johnb85013.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Well said.

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anxious192.bsky.social @anxious192.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

They opened a diner instead of producing cars that charged faster

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Stanley Q Woodvine @sqwabb.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

To give Elon credit, the diner may just be a way to try & offset the high cost of locating a Tesla charging station in West Hollywood. Despite not being a driver I'll miss the utility provided by gas stations, namely public washrooms & convenience stores. EV charging stations should be so useful!

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Kyle Monday @akmonday.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

heaven forbid you use a spatula

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Scobiwan the doggie @nunyabitnez.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

I am sure it cost them 100 million dollars to come up with a replacement for a 20.00 spatula.

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Löre Wren 🇨🇦 @lorewren.ca · 06/08/2025

He promised us the hyperloop, solar rooftops, colonies on Mars...and we get a burger press.

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Funkdafied 🌻🐸 ✊🏼📢⚖️ @pretefunkera.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

It reminds me of a sharper image in the 90s. Like what would happen if a sharper image wanted to make a diner??

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Very Human Robot @jwatte.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

Mass market electric cars did not exist when Tesla built the first roadster and model S.

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Dale Cooper @bitsmuggler.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Nailed it

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Tuffy @smtuffy.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Why is a local New York paper reviewing a restaurant in LA?

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roo96.bsky.social @roo96.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

McDonalds has been selling burgers for longer than Musk has been alive. There's nothing TSLA can do to make a better burger that McDs hasn't already attempted.

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Part Of The Problem @partoftheproblem.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Tesla engineers built… a spatula? Lmao 🤣

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Twilo's Version @nicethiccbackpack.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

When the product is one man, it kinda doesn’t matter what the business does.

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Gaius (from Tribunate) @gaius.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Fondly remembering the over engineered Tesla liquor glasses that were designed to look ”cool” but couldn’t be placed anywhere except their special holder

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iplayguitarbad.bsky.social @iplayguitarbad.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Seems like assigning your engineers to work on a burger smashing machine (God gave most of us two of those) violates some obligation to your shareholders LOL. What are we even doing here?!

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Bill V @billv.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

Seriously who is going to this place?!?

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HELL Kennedy @helenkennedy.com · 06/08/2025

How proprietary can a hamburger smasher be? I have this one, which works beautifully.

A stainless steel hamburger smasher resting on my stove

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Paul Peters @pdbqp.eurosky.social · 06/08/2025

"Join us"

youtu.be

Inside the dark world of Elon Musk's empire | Sönke Iwersen interview

YouTube video by PoliticsJOE

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Gratefuljim @gratefuljim.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

I for one, am glad to see someone finally handling the issues the majority of us are clamoring for

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hiro893.bsky.social @hiro893.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

tesla engineers invented a spatula

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Michelle Hyacinth @michelehyacinth1.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

And for those with no sense of/interest in history. Everything old is New again when you add AI, ignorance or narcissim to it.

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Matt @differentmatt.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

They must have been fighting over the hamburger-smasher assignment over at Tesla HQ. Dead simple, scores you all kinds of points with the coked-out fool momentarily obsessed with running a fake diner, and it doesn't even kill anyone. What a sweet gig!

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