slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 30/08/2025i don’t like the idea of the president missing. he could be anywhere. i am suddenly aware how little i appreciated opening my shower curtain knowing the president would not be standing there 1436169739
Veleda_k @veleda-k.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Presumably, your shower isn't a Miss Teen USA dressing room, so you *should* be fine. Should. 021
kingofthejuice18.bsky.social @kingofthejuice18.bsky.social · 30/08/2025What makes you think that couldn't happen if he weren't supposedly "missing"? Do you realize how fast Air Force One can travel? 010
@OldAndCranky @oldandcranky.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Oh gee, thanks for that thought that will haunt my nightmares forever. 000
livelybear.bsky.social @livelybear.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Avoid women's fitting rooms in department stores and you should be ok 000
Pattycakes88 @pattycakes88.bsky.social · 30/08/2025I think everyone who knows him feels that way. Especially Melanie 000
DArtemis @artemida63.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Missing? Sorry I’m in Europe and had no Internet for days (I’m staying truly off the beaten track). How is missing? 100
SupposeNot @trivial.bsky.social · 30/08/2025As long as he’s wearing red stripes and standing in a crowd, I’m cool with having to look for him. 110
Groovy goodies @kokojo66.bsky.social · 30/08/2025If you’re older than 16 you don’t need to worry about 020
Antifa Annie @antifaannie.bsky.social · 30/08/2025media.tenor.comtwo women are sitting next to each other and laughing with the words `` thanks for the laugh '' .ALT: two women are sitting next to each other and laughing with the words `` thanks for the laugh '' . 010
Who has all the money? @amazecraze.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Don't worry, his tiny bruised hands couldn't hold a knife and he wouldn't wear his mother's dress because it would expose his cankles. 020
LAFC Dutch Dave @lafcdutchdave.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Don't worry unless you're an underage girl that reminds him of his daughter. Then worry. Be very worried. 070
goodtroublebrigade.bsky.social @goodtroublebrigade.bsky.social · 30/08/2025He’s still getting ready for a public viewing! It just takes a lot longer now Makeup,cover bruising with foreign substance.Finding shoes that will hide is ballon ankles.Hair takes much longer Bronze face coverage. Ketamine, a walking straight coach.And that’s before breakfast! Repeat. It’s a process 000
rosegarden001.bsky.social @rosegarden001.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Cute, very cute. Made me giggle 😃 . 000
Izzy Dedyet @izzy-dedyet.bsky.social · 30/08/2025media.tenor.coma bathroom with a shower curtain that shows a shadow of a personALT: a bathroom with a shower curtain that shows a shadow of a person 000
Captain Sidecar @captainsidecar.bsky.social · 30/08/2025At least he's a bit big to be doing the huntsman spider thing of lurking behind the sun visor in my car. 1181
Betti 🍁 🇨🇦 🍁 Part owner of Canada @gabriellasmom2018.bsky.social · 30/08/2025OMG! You just had to go and do that, didn't you?! I *just* was finally able to have a shower without visualizing a blade slashing through the curtain, and now this? 😩 051
Abyss Whisperer 🦇💚 @abysswhisperer.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Wait he’s missing? Fuck did he go to the mall? 000
Just Breathe @sadears59.bsky.social · 30/08/2025I was taking that seriously. Until I got to the end. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 000
WrestlingTerp 🍺🇵🇹 🇺🇸 🇱🇹 @wrestlingterp.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Is there a Silver Alert out for him? 000
Colonel Panic 💾 @xtools.at · 30/08/2025media.tenor.coma south park character speaking into a microphone with the words do not approach himALT: a south park character speaking into a microphone with the words do not approach him 000
gozion @ravnica11.bsky.social · 30/08/2025media.tenor.comtwo men are standing in front of a red houseALT: two men are standing in front of a red house 000
Bat Religion 🦇 @batreligion.bsky.social · 30/08/2025if you're not a 15 year old girl you're probably safe 010
Lil’ Donny B 🍞&🎪🎪 @lildonnyb.bsky.social · 30/08/2025This is how the decline of the Soviet Union happened. Old guys disappearing for days suddenly, then dying followed by a succession battle. We have the vp system here so it won’t be quite the same though. 000
Rupert Murdoch International Tribunal 🇦🇺🇬🇧🇺🇸🇮🇹🇫🇷🇩🇪 @hey.rupert.murdochbait.click · 30/08/2025He's seen it all before. 010
Scandal from Bohemia @scandalfrombohemia.bsky.social · 30/08/2025I have a clear shower curtain. This is because I watched Psycho at a formative age, but it also applies in this situation 000
Duchess of Malfi 🇺🇸🐈♿️❄️🍁💐 @duchessmalfi.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Do you remember all of the college kids running to the White House to celebrate Osama Bin Laden’s death? Think of that but multiplied several times over in every city in the country…🥳🥳🥳. (And finding Trump lurking in your shower is nightmare fuel ⛽️). 050
You wouldn't download a frog @younodonk.bsky.social · 30/08/2025That is pretty horrifying now that you mention it. Why, why did you mention it 000
AmiyaJLO @amiyajlo.bsky.social · 30/08/2025They are gonna put the 5G chip Inside him, aren't they .. 010
barkofatree.bsky.social @barkofatree.bsky.social · 30/08/2025DONALD NOT AROUND? No worries he's somewhere luxurious laughing at the American people making a big deal he is gone. SQUIRREL 010
EcoHacker @ecohacker.bsky.social · 30/08/2025If the President is lost I say check under the car seats, that's sometimes where I lose stuff ...But with any luck he'll be under the wheels insteadmedia.tenor.coma stuffed animal with pink hair is laying under a carALT: a stuffed animal with pink hair is laying under a car 010
Amazing Mr. Cat @amazingmrcat.bsky.social · 30/08/2025I have never been more afraid of going to the bathroom at McDonalds 120
Tom Brueggemann @tombrueggemann.bsky.social · 30/08/20251) Where is JD Vance? Melania? The kids? That seems relevant. 2) The extreme obsequiousness of the Cabinet meeting even by Trump's standards - my that have been a clue - he knew he was headed for treatment, or had gotten a bad diagnosis & this was a morale booster/last hurrah? 1202
ee32958.bsky.social @ee32958.bsky.social · 30/08/2025If we don’t see video of him cheating at golf this weekend, something is most definitely up. 1110
Absolute Pinnacle @absolutepinnacle.bsky.social · 30/08/2025It's fine, he's probably relaxing at the beach with Harold Holt. Let them have their fun. 000
öx45tallboy @ox45tallboy.bsky.social · 30/08/2025"I've gotta say, your hair care products, not what I was expecting! I can recommend some tremendous shampoo, we all like shampoo, right, some tremendous shampoo, and some conditioner, Arnold Palmer, real conditioner guy, I used to see him in the shower at Bedminster, always two coats..." 121
Jennifer @jennknut.bsky.social · 30/08/2025media.tenor.coma clown in a bathroom with the words now you die written on the wallAlt: a clown in a bathroom with the words now you die written on the wall 040
Blue Honey @devans00.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Take comfort in fact that you’d smell and hear heavy breathing FOTUS trump before you’d see him. 001
Abyssal Dragon @abyssaldragon.bsky.social · 31/08/2025“You see the grout, it used to be clean. It was tremendous grout, now look at it, it’s all. And the shampoo is empty. These radical left lunatics think they need to get every last drop of shampoo out of the bottle but it’s not worth shaking it for five minutes, we don’t like doing that do we folks?” 010
edniedziejko.bsky.social @edniedziejko.bsky.social · 30/08/2025maybe he went for a long walk on a short pier - or roof. 040
FK @notrimskiy.bsky.social · 30/08/2025This is the exact reason I strongly prefer transparent shower curtains. Some places need to be president-proof. 0191
Out of spoons, Only have knives @edfphotos.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Will it be the President? will it be classified documents? Who knows what may be lurking in bathrooms these days. 1322
UpDownLeftRight @newsky99.bsky.social · 30/08/2025✅Kamala won ❌Cheato cheated 🚫He rigged the 2024 election🚫 Just like in TEXAS BECAUSE HES IN THE FILES EPSTEIN! RIGGING! NEW ELECTIONS NOW! ✅NO CITIZENS UNITED ✅A PAID HOLIDAY 🚩NEW ELECTIONS NOW! 🚩NEW ELECTIONS NOW! AMERICA WILL BE BACK. TERMINATE THE TERM! 000
animalwrites.bsky.social @animalwrites.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Hahaha you’re right we really didn’t appreciate it enough. 000
Destroyer of Worlds 🏳️🌈 @shinikage221.bsky.social · 30/08/2025I think all the orange stains on the walls, door handles, etc would give him away 000
Bilecky @bilecky.bsky.social · 30/08/2025The president is missing because he knows Vance is circing waiting to take his place. 000
Some Random Susan @anysusan.bsky.social · 30/08/2025media.tenor.coma woman is screaming in a shower with her mouth open .Alt: a woman is screaming in a shower with her mouth open .-the infamous shower scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s movie Psych 010
Atticus Dogsbody @atticusdogsbody.bsky.social · 30/08/2025NARRATOR: What slate didn't realize was that as he was typing his skeet, President Donald J Trump was quietly sliding into slate's bedroom and concealing himself under the covers. There was no precedent to the horrors which would occur that night. 060
The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Only if you live on the first floor. He's not in shape to do stairs without assistance. 2100
Braeburn Gesoran @applesandoranges1.bsky.social · 30/08/2025He doesn’t ask, he just grabs by the pussy. 100
Central Michigan Maverick @thedevilzadvoc8.bsky.social · 30/08/2025That would be a legitimate worry if you were of a certain age demographic... 010
Moddy @moddyfire.bsky.social · 30/08/2025He could be in the streets of south park, scaring children. 000
Spikes mom @nancyroth.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Oh shit, can you imagine? My shower rod would be through his face 000
semireflection @semireflection.bsky.social · 30/08/2025He didn’t even show up for work in 2016; spent %45 of his time in WH at his clubs holding & grifting. He’s not running anything-Heritage has been-along with Putin, China, Netanyahu & MBS. Vance might be worse. Then who do we get when Peter Theil removes him, too? 000
Puget Bob @pugetbob.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Is it possible he's had a psychotic break and mustn't be seen babbling even more incoherently than usual? It must be rough for a guy who has survived and even prospered on bullshit all his life discovering that there are some things he can't bend to his will by lying. 000
Brand Costcutter Sr. @spat-lubara32j.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Thanks for giving me all new anxieties! 000
WaywardAF 💚♠️🦄🏴☠️🏳️🌈🎃 @waywardaf.bsky.social · 30/08/2025If you're not an underaged girl, you're probably safe 020
Barbara Cooney @barbaracooney.bsky.social · 30/08/2025More likely to be at home, up Putin's posterior in Moscow. 000
glowing shadow @braindrill.lol · 30/08/2025He is in the White House snack room with his arm stuck inside a vending machine. He was trying to get a free 6pk of mini donuts 2952
artcat1.bsky.social @artcat1.bsky.social · 30/08/2025I expect you might be too old to be his "type." 000
AnnaUniversal @speckonblue.bsky.social · 30/08/2025No way this president will be standing behind your shower curtain. Slumping against the wall, maybe. Overflowing out of your bathtub, possibly. Standing, no. 040
kfan99.bsky.social @kfan99.bsky.social · 30/08/2025It is time for the Couch Fucker to pay him a visit. That should do the trick. 000
Chrishill988 @chrishill988.bsky.social · 30/08/2025If you’re not a teenage girl, you’re at least safe from that scenario. 000
Creepy Phantom with Cutlery🔪 @crabby-phatty.bsky.social · 30/08/2025I imagine that dead people can be anywhere at any time, that they live in a place where there is no geography or time, its more like vibes. Except in the case of ghosts, who are trapped reliving the same moment(s). This means Trump could very well haunt your shower. 230
Dr AM Sardar @amsardar.bsky.social · 30/08/2025On a plane to Moscow - someone got the Epstein tapes.media.tenor.coma russian airplane is flying in the sky with the words " cdnem " above itALT: a russian airplane is flying in the sky with the words " cdnem " above it 000
Frank Vehafric @fvehafric.bsky.social · 30/08/2025He's in the basement of Comet Ping Pong Pizza getting caught up. 030
ImJustMikey @santamikeydm.bsky.social · 30/08/2025He's on epstien island reliving the good old days with some Mexican children that disappeared after their parents were deported 010
Rumpole the Brief @rumpole-brief.bsky.social · 30/08/2025I think South Park is doing this bit next week. 040
vulgarweed.bsky.social @vulgarweed.bsky.social · 30/08/2025He might be sitting somewhere in a park in DC with his little mushroom dangling out and covered in pigeon shit 010
haden reynolds (Robert) @hadenreynolds.bsky.social · 31/08/2025Especially after tweeting "SLATE'S SHOWER CURTAIN IS THE BEST!!" 000
Ozymandias Q. Jones XXXIII⅓® @void0reason.bsky.social · 30/08/2025I’ve confirmed he’s not in my refrigerator or my coffee maker! 000
flashmcspeed.bsky.social @flashmcspeed.bsky.social · 30/08/2025He's having a hissy fit somewhere bevause the courts won't lay down and die. 000
tracymcnamara.bsky.social @tracymcnamara.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Here in Australia we had a Prime Minister who went for a swim in December 1967 and nobody ever saw him again Drowned? Great White Shark? or a Russian submarine……who knows He has a swimming pool named after him🤣media.tenor.coma picture of a shark with the words arg arg arg arg arg argALT: a picture of a shark with the words arg arg arg arg arg arg 081
Hunter @hunter79.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Well unless you 13 or younger you should have nothing to worry about. 000
Arden Barden @ardenbarden.bsky.social @ardenbarden.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Thats why I don't shower. 000
What up @whatup7.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Just have a shower curtain that says epstein files on it and he will keep a distance from your tub 000
Oucheez @oucheez.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Funniest fucking response to the headline I've seen yet. Imma go check my shower rq 000
Laura Lee @lauraleeta.bsky.social · 30/08/2025He's body painting with ketsupmedia.tenor.coma bottle of ketchup is being poured on a hot dog on a plate .ALT: a bottle of ketchup is being poured on a hot dog on a plate . 000
Alexander Clark @xandr-clark.bsky.social · 30/08/2025How do you tell that Trump is in the room with you? By the smell of shit from his diaper. ----- Why does Trump wear a green felt hat? So can can sneak across pool tables without being seen. I've never seen Trump on a pool table. Works, doesn't it? 000
Alexander Clark @xandr-clark.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Or he could be in the bath. "For in spite of all temptation to go in for cheap sensation, we insist upon a body in the bath." 010
Lofi.witticisms.bat @d4c3.bsky.social · 30/08/2025He's wandering the cold halls in his stained underwear, lost and alone, calling for the nuclear football, but no one is answering 021
