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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 4h

Watching Republicans try to blame Democrats for high gas prices in town halls before the election feels like a toddler trying to convince you someone else must've shit their pants.

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Reposted by The Bourbon Drunk Oracle

Alt National Park Service @altnps.bsky.social · 15h

Please remember to vote! Your voice matters. 🌊

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

I've said "Straight out of the project 2025 Playbook" so many times there's now a sitcom laugh track that plays anytime I do it. I always hoped my catch phrase would have to do with Nachos or The Flip Side. Not the fascist takeover of the world's largest democracy.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

This narrative that if a man passed out in a women's sorority nothing would happen is inherently misogynistic and blatantly false. It perpetrates the idea of women as weak prey animals incapable of doing harm And discounts all male victims of sexual assault. Stop perpetrating it.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Hear me out. Blazing Saddles 2 starring Jamie Clayton as the sheriff of a more modern Rock Ridge now scheduled to be destroyed for a border wall. Throw in RJ Cyler as The Wako Kid and you've got a movie that will piss some people off so much they'll protest something other than Trans Athletes.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Also the new Taylor Swift song just sounds like Donald Trump. "She's not as hot as she was... And she was only a four...she was never a "girl's girl"...She was just a whore. And with all of that money she still dresses like trash... When she smiles it's annoying... But have you seen her ass?”

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

So he's openly bribed voters, and is now funding political ads with taxpayer money... How much longer do we have to pretend that this is a presidency and not a dictatorship? How far does he have to go before revolution is justified and people won't whine about political violence?

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I think the thing that appeals to me most about apocalypse media is Pacifists dying en masse. Oh you wanna hug the zombies? You want to make peace with The Predator? Die as you lived, egotistical and ineffectual.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Hot Take: The Sydney Sweeney sports ad is just a ripoff of Boats Boats Boats from How I Met Your Mother.

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Reposted by The Bourbon Drunk Oracle

Alt National Park Service @altnps.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

We had thought the “safety issues” at the Kennedy Center were caused by the Trump administration. It appears that might be the case. In a sworn declaration filed today, a legal observer said she witnessed a forklift carrying fencing drive to the north

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

The sad thing is it won't be dramatic. They'll keep it from being dramatic. It will be slow, agonizingly slow. Your quality of life will continue to decline generation by generation until the world is dead around you and you are convinced it has always been that way.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Had a dream last night that Hozier and Florence Welch covered Stan by Emenim as a stripped back acoustic track And I need to be clear that I'd fight a coked up cheetah to make that happen.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Bribing voters with $5k to yet again prove that Laws don't exist if no one enforces them. How do we...recover from this? I can't see a future where we don't try to swing this back around and result in a civil war because the right won't lay down like we have.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I've had three short stories published in magazines, won a half dozen literary competitions...and never once have I finished even a novella Is there a literary version of those desensitizing creams you take to keep you from cumming too soon? Is that why most successful authors are alcoholics?

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

After this is all over I'm going to need a senator to immediately author the American ULTRA act. Undoing that Loser Trump's Ridiculous Actions Reverting everything to its original names, putting a freeze to any ballrooms or Nazi arches, and formally apologizing to all our trade partners

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Nothing screams Mice voting for the cat like Blue Collar Workers hating OSHA. Without OSHA your employer could require you to feed your head into a meat grinder and dock your pay if you whimpered. They are what keeps you from riding a coal elevator into a dark hole for your shift!

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

I find it harder and harder to identify as a feminist because the majority of "Feminists" I see anymore are more worried about puritanical slut shaming and hating men than they are about fighting the resurgence of systematic oppression of women.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

In our lifetime we will face an unprecedented refugee crisis as previously highly inhabited areas of the globe flood and are subjected to increasingly extreme weather, thus rendering them unsuitable for large scale habitation. This will be compounded by failing crops and loss of crop land. Nyah.

static.klipy.com

Homura Cat Girl Dance

ALT: Homura Cat Girl Dance

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

People on the left have this nasty habit of pulling up their Intersectionality Bingo Card when arguing. Like somehow winning the victimhood Olympics means you win the argument. And it's actually more annoying than the right which just calls you a slur when you start winning.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Congratulations to Brazilian jiu-jitsu For taking the crown of "Thing the most insufferable white guy you know can't wait to tell you about." We offer our respect to Cryptocurrency and CrossFit as past champions.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

We let straight white women have a little bit of a pass on being straight and white for a long time because they were women. But now that they took it to far and we're trying to ween them off of it they're proving that Straight and White always came first in order for a reason.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Contentment is the goal of all life, but complacency is lethal. Enjoy contentment as a brief repose from a hungry world, and fear complacency like a hungry wolf at the edge of your firelight.

The sun rises in a wooded pasture, peeking through the trees in orange light, casting gold over white fluffy clouds. The picture is from early autumn.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Shit rolls down hill. If there's nobody beneath you, you're just standing in shit and getting shit on. Use this the next time you wonder why people insist on looking down on those beneath them on the social ladder despite being near the bottom rung themselves.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

You're not a brat if you're doing it constantly and non-consensually.. you're just an asshole. "I'm a brat" You treat the guy at Sinclair with the same disrespect so either you're involving strangers in your kink or you're just a jerk.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

So when Trump Dies And his lack of an obvious successor rips his coalition of racists and morons apart What exchange are you looking forward to the most? I wanna watch Erica Kirk and JD Vance roast each others makeup like an episode of Drag Race while Tucker Carlson "Ooooh Snap"'s in the back.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

American sailors jumping overboard because our supply lines are down. This is how the American Military Empire falls, Not with a bang, but with a shart.

A photo of president Donald Trump in which he is wearing white pants and has visibly shat himself.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Mitch McConnell was a great example of exactly what they're going to try to do if Trump dies before the election. They know the minute he's dead his voters motivation goes to 0 so no matter how unbelievable it is, they will find a way to say he's alive.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

So when this is all over and everything is defeated how long do you think we'll have before the Daughters of the Trumpfederacy start erecting statues and pushing revisionist textbooks about the regime to whitewash its crimes? I'm betting 10 years max.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

There's a type of person I call "The Nicest Piece of Shit you'll ever meet" Which means they'd give you the shirt off their back and their last penny as long as they approved of your ethnicity and lifestyle But wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire if they didn't. I'm sure you know one of two

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

If you locked Quan Mills, James Patterson, Janet Evanovich, and Brandon Sanderson in a room together, who's putting out a book first?

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

The left is so incredibly weak and lazy. We spend our time purity testing our own side to failure instead of doing anything meaningful. The right did more in retaliation for being asked to wear a mask than the left has for two administrations of blatant fascism.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

I think Congress should have a mutual combat rule. I'm not saying make it compulsory or affect voting. I just think if two senators disagree strongly enough they should be able to take it to the parking lot. C-SPAN ratings would go through the roof.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Hey remember when I said we weren't going to be able to vote our way out of this? Did you think I was kidding?

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Somewhere in an alternate timeline we sucked it up and voted for Hillary, and the Overton window hasn't shifted so far right that gay marriage is back on the chopping block.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

D'ya Think Nicola Tesla made some sort of Fustian Bargain? Generational genius for a total lack of recognition during his lifetime, and for his name to forever be associated with the horrific greed of a man who is as close to Edison as one can get?

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

So are they gonna pull a Victor Hugo and shut down all the gay bars in DC so they can go to Lindsay's funeral?

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

Really disappointed that a Semifrredo isn't the term for a sauce that's mostly an alfredo.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Have we considered that in order to combat climate change we may need to take a page from history and look at how our ancestors stayed cool? To be clear I mean we need to throw oil executives into a volcano.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

The difference between an uncomfortable request and coercion can be summed up as "Could this result in me buying an alpaca?" "hey I'm not interested in dating you unless you buy an alpaca" - Weird Request "Hey I'm gonna kick you out and leave you homeless unless you buy an alpaca" - Coercion

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

I've said it since the first term but it's going to come out when this is all said and done that several high ranking members of the US government were coerced into going along with this administration by threats levied against their families. John Roberts amongst them.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

On the one hand I'm not thrilled that my data is being harvested to target ads at me. On the other hand my feed is full of drop dead gorgeous fat women in lingerie and goth clothing... Truly a dilemma

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

It could literally be Ankalagon The Black, and if someone told me all I needed to do to never have to worry about money again is slay the dragon, I'd fuckin slay it. And if you think I can't you underestimate the power of weaponized autism and hillbilly upbringing.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

If I'm on fire, I don't care if someone used water or piss to put me out. Anything worth doing is worth doing half assed. The lesser of two evils is still less evil, even if it's also still evil. Imperfect solutions are a reality of an imperfect world.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

I hate when Trad Wives are like "Look what they stole from us!" About beautiful Victorian furniture. Sweetheart your daddy makes 30k a year. Rockafellars still got bespoke furniture! You're just now getting their handmedowns 4 generations later!

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

To be clear, jailing political dissidents is a long-standing US tradition. The same tactics being used now were employed against civil rights protesters in the 50s and 60s. Up to and including jailing uninvolved but related parties. That said, it is and always has been unconstitutional and evil.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 17/06/2026

I want all flights departing the US after the world cup weighed. Every international fan I've seen has been on a 2 week Mukbang since they hit American soil and I wanna know what the average weight gain is. Give us shit for being fat, walk a mile in our shoes!

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 17/06/2026

Gay son or Thot Daughter? What about Gay Thoughts or Son Daughter? That's right would you rather have a transmasc kid or every time you see a muscular man over 6' you hear Lindsey Graham say "Hubba Hubba" in your head.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

Life would be so much easier if you were a priest or a levite. You would get to Jerusalem quickly and without concern. But you are from Samaria and you are good.

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The Bourbon Drunk Oracle @bourbondrunkoracle.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

The hilarious thing in my mind. If this all comes to blows. If it becomes necessary to fight for elections. The Democrats won't pardon their own soldiers. They'll sell them out to try and keep the peace and maintain the status quo. Say what you will about Trump he rewards loyalty.

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