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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣

@wizofthenountable.bsky.social
661 followers 625 following 2.9K posts

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙾𝚗𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊 𝙸 𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑-𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚎𝚛-𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚐𝚘.

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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
FKFTSH @fkftsh.myatproto.social · 1h
there has never been a better time to post this again
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Pixels Puddlefen @pixelthegnome.bsky.social · 8h
eating my words and they taste like honey nut cheerios
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 9h
I'm smarter when I don't think.
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 9h
I have complicated feelings with the death penalty, but this feels like they're about to do a public execution just to show the heathens who's in charge. Sniffs bad. www.boston.com/news/crime/2...
boston.com
US Supreme Court allows Christa Gail Pike’s execution in Tennessee to go forward
The U.S. Supreme Court is allowing the execution of Christa Gail Pike to go forward in Tennessee, overturning a last-minute stay.
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Wint Stancil @demgladiator.bsky.social · 11h
The replies to this are full of terminally online girlfriends saying “let the Blowjob Brothers run our economy😏” and I think I’ve figured out what the problem is: shit runs down my leg
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 13h
If any of you guys graduated from these schools, plug your ears so I can laugh. Fucking Devry University-ass military.
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Babs ✨💖 @little-babushka.bsky.social · 16h
Hoes depressed! I’m not, I take meds. I beat that bitch to death! Jk I take my meds! 📣🎶
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
UGG!!! @uggcaveman.bsky.social · 17h
Woody Allen fucked children
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Emmaline (BIG Tractor Haver) @sockart.bsky.social · 22h
Pambly 'Tractor-Kun' Buttons
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Emmaline (BIG Tractor Haver) @sockart.bsky.social · 22h
Good Morning, I'm full of brain garbage. Here u go!
that time in highschool where i got stuck [sic] by a motor vehiucle and died only to be reincarnated into another world as a sentient John Deer Tractor *or* that time that i learned to embrace the modern farming world and fell in love with a goddess 

its a car about to hit a paper doll model...
that time in highschool where i got stuck [sic] by a motor vehiucle and died only to be reincarnated into another world as a sentient John Deer Tractor *or* that time that i learned to embrace the modern farming world and fell in love with a goddess 

Truck with a face and sun hat: Im sure you're probably wondering how i ended up in this predicament heh, yeah. Im a truck and this is my story
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
A WHOLE NEEEEWWWW WWOOOOOORRRLDDDDD youtu.be/sx3y9vDuE5w?...
youtu.be
Mike Jones Dick Dont Fail Me Now
YouTube video by WhatsGoodMusic
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
If you like something you should be able to say you like it, and not have to explain why. Nobody needs to know that shit.
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Wint Stancil @demgladiator.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I may be a abominable pig clown, but that speaks poorly for our horny data journalists, given how often I’ve been redneck when they’ve been redneck.
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
We will never see a rapper as talented or amazing as Mike Jones ever again in our lifetime. The guy was a walking hook.
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
george, drinking a Busch, jr. @2002honduhh.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
your dad said he likes my Heely’s
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Chain-Maile:Thou hast been beset cursed words! Forward this missive unto 5 of thy kith, else thy fields dry to ruin and thy home anathema to health!
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Me talking about someone I've posted with on the same social media site for a long time but never actually met
Still from the television show What We Do in the Shadows showing Laszlo speaking. Text reads "he's my best friend, he's my pal. He's my homeboy, my rotten soldier. He's my sweet cheese, my good-time boy."
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Skip, the Online Raccoon @badposter.lol · 30/09/2026
ed sheeran close up looking like an idiot with a tear emoji under his eye


“they want to
cancel my tour, papa”
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
𝙰𝙲𝚄𝚃𝙴 𝚆𝙴𝙴𝙳 𝙿𝚂𝚈𝙲𝙷𝙾𝚂𝙸𝚂 𓁣 @bzvowell.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
𝙰𝙲𝚄𝚃𝙴 𝚆𝙴𝙴𝙳 𝙿𝚂𝚈𝙲𝙷𝙾𝚂𝙸𝚂
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Culver's put a giant smoked and deep fried cheddar cheese curd on one of their burgers. That's the skeet.
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I hope Why throws a live server rack into a pool, and they all jump in to join their souls with Roko's Basilisk.
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Me and who?
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Dude is some kind of South African Creepypasta.
The amazing anatomy of Elon Musk
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
eevevyvynynn @littlestpipedream.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Wint Stancil @demgladiator.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Im at town hall getting a permit to have extremely bad opinions about "The Ice Bucket Challenge, But With Piss"
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I am obsessed with Arby's steak nuggets. The only way I can imagine their process is smoking off a bunch of seasoned sirloin tips, then sous-viding them for hours afterwards. Ship them frozen to Arby's where they are then deep fried for consumption. Amazing product, get em while you can.
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I'd back Anarchism more if 7/10ths of you didn't sound like Libertarians in a lower tax bracket.
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Wandering Ankh @herwbenkhetlives.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
So do we think Candace Owens had sex with Lauren Boebert, then, or...?
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
@billystrings.com. Max has done a lot for others, and makes this world better. He is also very large. Could you do this for my bud? We can't hug him from where we are at.
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Lee-uh @feistyfeminist.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Cornell frat rapists
Cornell graduates (rapists):
Matthew Ingalls
Diego Sarabia
Winston Lee
Scott Kretzschmar
Scott Norris
Gillio Lopes
Jonathan Newell
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
ACAB
static.klipy.com
Fun Police Boring
Alt: Fun Police Boring
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
My family says I can't keep offering Bofa but Bank of America is taking out web ads.
Bofa Rewards
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
See, the system works!
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Not even five hours back on the Timeline and already feeling punchy.
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
🐍AngDavina🔞🇺🇸$226.17/400 @xxm0nstr0sityxx.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
😏😍
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I'm funny, fuck you all.
Kash gonna fuck Dem dogs
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Whatever. If I am just gonna reply to people on my Alt that supposed to be impersonal I may as well reactivate.
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
So, if I get Omega-banned? Just find a completely unhinged post, and know that I am there.
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Doug Stanhope is cooler than any other living comedian right now. youtu.be/NiEUNuXpZhw?...
youtu.be
Doug Stanhope Returns to Worcester ...& Becomes the Mayor!
YouTube video by Doug Stanhope
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I have to quit following people back. I need to remember that I smoke drugs.
000
𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
ALL GAS! NO BRAKES!
visualising in the mirror the man i want to become:
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Emmaline (BIG Tractor Haver) @sockart.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
its a lot simpler to catch Mothman than one might think.
Its a medium sexy mothman lusting after a streetlight.
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
@why.bsky.world?
Cuck coding
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Wint Stancil @demgladiator.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I think that if a powerpoint by The Satanic Temple tells you 60% of trans women, i.e. inhabitants of a rowdy roadside bar, cannot achieve a "minimal quality of life" you should kick out the Knights of Columbus
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Tanuki’s Revenge @tanukisrevenge.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
One of my biggest conspiracy brained thoughts is that the proliferation of reality shows was to condition folks into believing that bullshit that’s fake is actually real
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
🎃Nosferascoob🎃 @scoobydouchebag.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Shooting Claude to impress Tilly Norwood
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Emmaline (BIG Tractor Haver) @sockart.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Big Thanks to @budbuddyguy.sheshed.lol for throwin a lil dosh my way :) Please enjoy this comic.
Panel 1: Sock is sitting sniffling while looking at a broken pencil in her paws, "My pencil..."

Panel 2a: the ground rumbles and a fist erupts Sock is surprised 
Panel 2b: Zombuddy sits up out of the earth holding out a brand new pencil for Sock, "I gotchu."

Panel 3: Sock is holding the pencil looking at Zombuddy, "WOW! Thanks, Sans from UnderTale!"
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𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣 @wizofthenountable.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
"Do you want to help me flip this rock over so we can see what lives underneath it?"
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Reposted by 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𓁣
Chipockalips Now! @fragboner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
First cowpoke that shot there gun in the air when everyone was shit faced must have been a LEGEND of hootin and hollarn
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