iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

the malevolent spirit that haunts my duplex revealing its latest form

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Kelly @andee902.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

me writing a book I’m already aiming to get a movie deal: he had the hair of steve Zahn and the height of Steve Zahn, he looked at the menu with piercing Steve Zahn eyes

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Timmy Jackpots, The $13,250 Diamond Dazzler @tbone.malware-virus.biz · 29/08/2026

I'm not the stepdad, I'm the dad who stepped out

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

“i’m going to shoot you”, ranked

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🔺 @cursedsynth.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Before he was Mr. Bean, he was: BEAN

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

(taking my wife by the hand to show her the steak i’m searing) See that honey? See how it’s turning brown? (wrapping my arms around her and closing my eyes blissfully) Its the Dunning Kruger reaction

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

WIFE: (MFA from RISD) I thought a lot of her points were astute, even if her obvious bias for classics made a poor replacement for film criticism specifically, you know? ME: (just found out only yesterday that flies aren't food) I don't feel good. I can still feel some of them moving inside of me.

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

another good question is why is yorgos lanthimos shooting michigan town council meetings

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andy.scrolling.fright @andy.scrolling.site · 04/07/2026

(approaching a home depot employee helping a customer): y’all talking about Sartre’s No Exit?

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Oh yeah, I'm eedinghave. Eeding half of this pizza!

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

in honor of james carville being in the news again, i wrote a song about him. it’s called “i had sex with james carville”

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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

The K in Philip K. Dick stands for Kafkaesque

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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

Ultimately, the Shawshank Redemption is a movie about hope. You hope that the warden crushes the spirit of Andy Dufresne

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 06/04/2026

explaining iranian propaganda to my psychiatrist

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🔺 @cursedsynth.bsky.social · 15/02/2026

getting pissed off imagining some guy arguing about "separating the post from the poster"

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

@tokyohearse domestic partnerships fell off @domesticjim ? @tokyohearse they fell of @domesticsteve ? @tokyohearse are you guys together @homewreckerterry Not for long. @tokyohearse out of my mentions terry. @canadians4newsom James & Steven - Pls Watch Out 4 Terry

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 12/02/2026

My Date: … Oh! I have a fun story. I saw Tom Hardy at Ralph’s the other day! He seemed really sweet… He’s such a good actor too… Do you—who’s one of your favorite actors…? Me:

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

oh thank god. we were able to use ring’s search party feature to track down our shiba, Mr. Garry, who ran away last week. now it’s just back to keeping him away from belts and locking the oven door 😅

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The Bricked Up Homie @prefectbeanis.bsky.social · 19/01/2026

Asking the guy at Burger King what his favorite thing on the menu is and then saying “ew!” and ordering something else

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 14/01/2026

theres a certain kind of woman who loves being the “what floor?” delegate on elevators. and over the past week, she has grown to support full-body vasectomies for ice agents

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

chaos in the household. my son is trying meditation this year but he keeps shouting “it’s not working”. my wife’s book club got ruined by termites. and my wife’s mother, who is here after her condo fell in a sinkhole, is on facebook all day watching ai videos of golden retrievers bombing venezuela.

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violentlycar @violentlycar.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

truly one of the geniuses of posting

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

wise people vs discourse about the pencil guy

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 16/12/2025

i actually think bari weiss isn’t front-facing enough. they should put her on all of cbs, not just the news . have her sideline report on chargers games. stephen colberts new sidekick. hero cop who survives a yacht explosion on ncis: hawaii. the people want more bari.

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 04/12/2025

anyone who doesnt use copilot, gemini, chatspt, x the everything app, and the promo code i have in my bio for pumpkin spice flavored sildenafil that gives us both $8 back is my sworn enemy.

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 01/12/2025

ME: Hey Chief! Check this out! (balancing a pen on my nose) POLICE CHIEF: That’s wonderful, Detective. Where are we at on the Amelia Earhart case? ME: We found her but shes straight now

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 26/11/2025

sending the worst person you know jpeg to my son when he texts me he wants a hamster for christmas

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eli yudin @eliyudin.com · 25/11/2025

ME: damn. they fucked his shit up. OTHER LAW & ORDER DETECTIVES: that’s not really the kind of language we like to use in this unit.

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 23/11/2025

had a wonderful vision: sitting patiently at the dentist’s office while Sunbather plays in its entirety over the 60kbps waiting room speakers

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 20/11/2025

imagining rfk playing the lead in stephen sondheim’s “company”

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 16/11/2025

this is what being normal looks like 👇

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

[Dinner] MY WIFE: Oh, do your Trump impression! ME: No, no JOHN: He does a Trump?! STACY: Let’s hear it! JIM: Do it! SARAH: Come on! ME: Oh, alright... (thick brooklyn accent) Chiina! We’re going to Chiina! And we’re going to make Billions ! MY WIFE: (cracking up) JOHN, STACY, JIM, SARAH: … Haha

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 01/11/2025

would love to see the mri brain scans of cuomo voters projected in 70mm imax. a dazzling constellation of immolating lobes and irradiated neurons convulsing in electric swamps

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 30/10/2025

i hate it when the doctor hits me with a hammer because it’s always the wrong bone that springs up ! (i hit send post & sigh. enter the garage. car’s already running. as the exhaust purrs, one last thought comes to me. i pull out my phone) julia child draftkings ad (I smile, and pass away.

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 28/10/2025

We’re Building A Ballroom

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 09/10/2025

just got the saab washed, waxed, and leather conditioned

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 02/10/2025

now i see why he was so defensive

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Eoin Higgins @eoinhiggins.bsky.social · 01/10/2025

To my friend Jane Goodall. Rest now sister. We have the watch and I'll see you in Valhalla.

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 01/10/2025

SHUG TRONKER: (fastening cross necklace, chomping cigar, pumping shotgun) Let’s hunt some motherfucking vampires. ME: Just a second, Shug. (bending to tie my shoes) … (mumbling) The rabbit goes under the woods and then… Over… Grandma’s house…?… SHUG: ... Do you need help? ME: I’ve got this, Shug.

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 19/09/2025

bugs bunny in drag seducing seal team 6 and they all start shooting each other trying to get a piece of that

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 18/09/2025

just reached out to Mr. Kimmel. i expressed my deep sympathy and offered to let him post on my Bluesky account at least once a month until he lands on his feet. it’s important he still has a platform to speak out.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 17/09/2025

walking into a dark room where everyone i love jumps out with noisemakers and confetti and unfurls a banner reading "INTELLECTUALLY INCAPABLE OF STANDING TRIAL"

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 27/08/2025

oops. just realized the 300 posts I’ve made in the last month that i thought i was putting here on bluesky.com I’ve accidentally been posting on “buttguys.co.nz”.

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Razzle Bathbone @razzlebathbone.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

i challenge you to do worse. Let's make the world worse

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puffin @tokyohearse.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

… Listen. I’m sorry I asked your mother “what was it like when you killed Gandalf the grey”. She wasn’t supposed to get what I was implying. My wife: (arms crossed) She owns all three extended cuts. On Blu-Ray. Me: And I feel like it’s an honest mistake on my part that I assumed that she didn’t

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