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Story Stunningham

@thepants.bsky.social
144 followers 152 following 1.5K posts

part-time procrastinator, full-time anxious. giant fan of Amendment 14 Sec. 3. // hit me up for freelance story consulting.

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Reposted by Story Stunningham
Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 7h
This is a list of all the people who are going to be getting bailed out with your tax money. I guarantee it. Not tough to call this shot.
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 6h
Google working as intended
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 8h
since any "tech company" can just do anything unimpeded, I'm going to start one and just launch garbage at the moon to cover the lunar surface; the news will just report "company says it plans to cover moon with garbage" without comment, without trying to stop me, nothing. Eat it up, peasants.
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 10h
I really don't think this was a mistake. I think they genuinely attempted (and continue to double-down on) making a false narrative stick, to manufacture perjury to discredit anyone who should Speak Against Our God (an elderly child rapist) and it'll probably stick, at least with their dumbfuck base
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Sahil Kapur @sahilkapur.bsky.social · 12h
Klobuchar: “For a US senator to have false information and imply, based on a confusion about the name of a team … and imply that you were in another city, that you were somehow involved that day in what was happening in Georgia, and then call you a dirtbag, is something that deserves an apology.”
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Sahil Kapur @sahilkapur.bsky.social · 13h
A phenomenal moment in the Senate. Eric Schmitt, R-Mo., claims he has evidence Jack Smith went to a HAWKS game in Atlanta. Smith denies it. Schmitt declares he has busted Jack Smith for perjury. Smith, vexed, says he went to HAWKEYES game in Maryland. WATCH IN FULL, UNINTERRUPTED
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Chrysostom @chrysost.bsky.social · 12h
Smith should sue him. No protection on a talk show. It’s malicious to continue the lie having been shown it’s a ludicrous SNAFU.
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Mr. Fusion @mrfusion.bsky.social · 12h
There are hundreds of shitheads in the cult right now posting on Facebook that Jack Smith lied about going to an NBA game. This is what these grifters due, and with purpose.
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 14h
If we win the war with Iran two more times we get a free pastrami on rye
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I want to once again praise @theonion.com for having the best headline etiquette in the whole journalism game, since an entire joke must be fully understood in the headline. No clickbait, no misleading wording or half-phrases, nothing to erode a reader's trust in news that all others fall prey to.
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Katie Tightpussy, Editor-In-Chief @katie.bzky.team · 09/09/2026
tapping the sign
katie tightpussy on bluesky: being a trans woman is crazy. "yeah all my opps are billionaire pedophile rapists"
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Will Stancil @whstancil.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
A great illustration of the way social media has essentially shredded society’s informational immune system: The USSR spent a fortune trying to spread conspiracy theories, without success because they couldn’t crack newsrooms. Today, you can reach the globe with a post that costs $20 to make.
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
When I find myself in times of trouble Put my foot where it should be Do the Hokey Pokey Let it be
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Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
holy shit lmao
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FunkieNYFL @funkienyfl.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Cool. I've also updated my terms so I can use photos and videos of Mark Zuckerberg in AI PSAs warning children of the dangers of using Meta products
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Luigi's Whistle and Sway
ALT: Luigi's Whistle and Sway
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Calvinball Congress @emericanjezebel.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
he is very good on many things, but this is his achilles heel and he will end up being another Obama if he doesn’t deal with it
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Calvinball Congress @emericanjezebel.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
it really makes his whole ”we really wanted to arrest bibi but we can’t” feel like salt in the wound, when its clear there is never any question about arresting anti-genocide protesters
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Calvinball Congress @emericanjezebel.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Don’t love the image of Mamdani planting olive trees in “protest” of bibi just hours before his police arrested peaceful protesters. something has got to give soon. he can’t keep pretending the nypd isn’t an issue.
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Dmitri. #freeLink @momus.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
and he doesn't even have any kids yet that they can threaten
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Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
i really can’t bring myself to care about AI anthropomorphism debates. “is AI thinking?” i don’t know. is a calculator calculating? questions for the philosophers. what’s important is that we put sam altman in prison.
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Matt Aytch Taylor @matthtaylor.com · 25/09/2026
this is an embarrassing capitulation to an "industry" hellbent on the destruction of creative work
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capnshores.bsky.social @capnshores.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Also just...$20k-$50k. "Most small publishers and authors don't have the capital to make that kind of bet." First off, trying to slip the author into that is...adorable. Second, if you as a small publisher cannot afford to do a run of a book, you are not a publisher. You aren't even a business.
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
respectfully, kill it with fire
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Jessie🌈 @atropius.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I caught the cutest thing ever on the Katmai bear cams
A photo of a large brown bear, taken from behind, laying on the ground with her back legs splayed out. Her two cubs are laying against her right side, both using her butt as a pillow. They're laying next to a river
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da share z0ne @dasharez0ne.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
NOW!!!! - dashare.zone ADMIN
A SKELELELTON DRIVEN THERE CAR AND TRYEN TO SHOP AT A FUCKEN STORE AND THEY WONT LET EM!!! THERE LOCKEN ALL THERE SHIT UP STOP ADDING LEVELS TO MY LIFE!!!! DO NOT MAKE ME FIND A GUY WHERE I FEEL GUILTEY ABOUT MAKIN HIM UNLOCK ALL MY SHIT!!!!!!!!! AND TA TEXT SAYS I HATE STORE'S UNLOCK MY ALLERGY PILL'S unlock my monster pop unlock my sock's unlock my lotio unlock lonfey detergenet unlock ibuproffin unlock my tooth paste unlock my deodorant UNLOCK MY DEODOTANT IMMEDIATELY !!!! NOW NOW NOW WHAT THE FUCK - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN
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Transphobes Can't Read @lordaslan.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
lol
A series of tweets that reads "we didn't have a measles outbreak until we let in four years of millions of people pour over our border" 

"I live in Honduras. We vaccinate" 

"I live in American we can choose if we want the shot or not" 

"I know and that's why you have measles and we don't"
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maple cocaine @maplecocaine.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
The thing about trying to appeal to right wing bigots is that right wing bigots are all stupid idiots who get 100% of their news from propagandists so they will never actually find out that you were trying to appeal to them in the first place
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The Onion @theonion.com · 24/09/2026
Dog Can’t Believe Guy She Hooked Up With 10 Years Ago Now Head Of FBI theonion.com/dog-cant-believe-guy-s…
Dog Can’t Believe Guy She Hooked Up With 10 Years Ago Now Head Of FBI
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The Serfs (youtube.com/theserfstv) @theserfstv.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Hannah Einbinder was just arrested protesting Benjamin Netanyahu's safe passage into New York and the genocide of Palestinians. Elliot Page, Susan Sarandon, and Chelsea Manning are among those currently blocking the road
Chelsea Manning among others at the protest against genocide and Netanyahu's visit
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Does anyone else know his address? Asking for a friend
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Well, I suppose all we can do is hope that he won't need so much security anymore real soon
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I hope that RFK goes to hell before he dies
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ICE must be destroyed 🏳️‍⚧️🏴 @miawong.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
It's so fucking bleak that there's so many more posts here about scene drama at a lesbian bar than there is the US government's border Gestapo shooting a guy in the back, kidnapping him, throwing him in a camp, denying him proper medical care, and then torturing him Moreover, ICE must be destroyed
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Soraya Nadia McDonald @soraya.press · 23/09/2026
Every person running for president needs to have a serious and implementable plan for de-Nazifying the federal government
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 23/09/2026
look, you can't just punish trump when dems are in power. that might make republicans do something crazy, like stage a coup, illegally shred the federal bureaucracy, or even vstart abducting people off the street and extraditing them to torture sites all over the world
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I'm building a gun that will shoot the moon. Please give me money. *sixteen months later* The gun that will shoot the moon WILL SHOOT. THE. MOON. IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME MORE MONEY. PLEASE
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arr @arr.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
This makes me hopeful. This number is aspirational but nowhere near out of reach: a working professional could realistically cash out their 401k and buy off a public official. Owning a senator is more attainable for most Americans than home ownership.
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I'm really sad about the death of one of my favorite wikipedia editors so here's a thread of some of the greatest articles he wrote
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Donkey Kong gives the thumbs up while the text on the screen reads "CUM", "Very Hard"
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Schrödinger's Sneetch Belly @rtodkelly.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Will add: there is no way - none whatsoever - that they do not know this.
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Schrödinger's Sneetch Belly @rtodkelly.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Please know that this is one of my few legitimate areas of actual, high-level professional expertise: Kicking the healthiest people off of a health insurance program will bankrupt it. Not 'could;' not 'might,' not 'probably," but absolutely will, with mathematical certainty.
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☀️ @vamospeat.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
to be an american right now is to know your government and its captured media outlets prioritize protecting the modern world’s most violent group of rapists and pedophiles. this is plain fact
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The developers of fentanyl should just be thrown in jail. I've never ever heard of it NOT killing someone.
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Story Stunningham @thepants.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
YouTube recommendations need to take a hint: just because I watch people I like playing video games, does not mean I want to watch A N Y B O D Y E L S E doing it, thanks :)
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Return of the Cmonmacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
It’s crazy to me that Hollywood is a nearly completely organic machine for American propaganda and it’s currently being destroyed by the dumbest people alive who think they need it so they can REALLY do propaganda. A crown jewel of American global cultural dominance discarded with barely a whimper
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Outside the obvious timebomb of selling out trans kids to appeal to ~16 bigots in deep Ohio, an underplayed part of the whole "trans kids in youth sports" stuff is making the most psycho Little League parents the most important political demo in America. They're joy vampires for the kids themselves!
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