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marco rubio’s coke guy

@seriouspro.bsky.social
790 followers 533 following 3.9K posts

I do important work.

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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Feelin like a nasty woman in 2017
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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/09/2026
You Can Be Anything You Want, Says Fictional Character theonion.com/you-can-be-anything-yo…
You Can Be Anything You Want, Says Fictional Character
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Peep This Bot @peepthisbot.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Fall weather has impeccable timing this year
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🍎apple time🍎 @boomerhumor.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
"hello mike? first time long time"
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Got the perfect “You don’t say?” pic from @boomerhumor.bsky.social of our cat Maple
Yoooou don’t saaaaayyy
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I need snorkeling in my life
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
You know we could run this like a co-op. We pool our money and buy some pump jacks
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Lotta subtext in this clip
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Oh dear, the most annoying people on here are mad about something again
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Seriously we just need to buy like five of these suckers and we could all be millionaires. There’s oil right there under ground #Hustle $BTC
Pump Jack pic that was made with crazy transparency so you can’t really see what’s going on in dark mode. It’s from Wikipedia
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L Ron Mexico @lronmexico.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
In America, if gas gets too high, the government starts measuring the troops’ boners
That North Korean lady meme, you know the one
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IDF Hannibal Brigade @hannibalbrigade.biz · 19/09/2026
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Hasbara it’s that if you repeat something enough, lots of dumb folks will believe it. If you love Israel, you get to vote on Wednesday this year.
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UncleofJamiroquai @jessefarrar.com · 18/09/2026
I think I've finally seen enough of the country to debut...the 1st Edition of 🇺🇸 JF's US City Rankings! 🇺🇸 1. NYC 2. Chicago 3. SF 4. LA ... 857. Philadelphia ... 19494. Ft. Worth 19495. Dallas This list will be updated as Dolly Parton International Airport continues to add destinations.
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IDF Hannibal Brigade @hannibalbrigade.biz · 18/09/2026
Remember, if you love Israel, the midterms are on Wednesday this year #AmYisraelChai
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Important announcement to all American friends of Israel: The US election is on Wednesday this year
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Kitty
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an evan @elsplice.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
They’re filmed way in advance so I only picture the poor assistant who has to draft an email that’s like, “Yeah sorry, Jake has no idea what a flying buttress is.”
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I wonder what the environment is like inside a charity right after a celebrity playing for them on a gameshow eats shit
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Blue sky nice ghost @rajandelman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Cat rescue I follow: Quick update! Me: Yay Cat rescue: We were informed of a little boy who had suffered a degloved jaw Me: Jesus Christ
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Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Join the conversation!
Kylie Jenner giving a cop a Pepsi
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
In middle school, I was the same age as Bobby Hill. Now we’re both adults and I’m 20 years older than him.
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
He actually really comes alive at feeding time
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Gambling problem? Get an extra $500 credit with code “LOSTHOUSE”
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Matt Olson @metalson.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
You need clothes to buy clothes in this sad, mixed up world.
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VHS Vault @vhsvault.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
The Action Adventure Colllection 1 (1988 UK VHS) : 453s
Screenshot from VHS tape, video frame at 453 seconds.
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
If 9/11 happened today, lower Manhattan would be covered in dusty funko pops for weeks
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
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Michael Kupperman @mkupperman.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
The Lockhorns also remember
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L Ron Mexico @lronmexico.bsky.social · 10/08/2023
My fav 9/11 thing was when the news would pull some random New Yorker off the street and ask about the attacks and they’d all just say a variation of “uhhh you used to be able to see the towers (points where they used to be) but… uh, nope, not no more”
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Rock Entertainment Group, the Cleveland Cavaliers and 6 others remember 9/11
Cleveland Cavaliers reposted
Rock Entertainment Group
25 years later, we pause to remember the lives lost, the first responders who stepped forward in the face of tragedy, and the strength that held a nation together.
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Good news, stocks are up
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
10 years ago today a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed presidential candidate pooped herself and passed out at the 9/11 party
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🍎apple time🍎 @boomerhumor.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
get you a man who will make you fall out of chair @seriouspro.bsky.social
You know that Vince McMahon meme where his eyes get bigger and he falls out of his chair?
Yeah lol
Check this out
There's a basketball movie
Set in Sunset Park
Starring Rhea Pearlman
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Bodega Cats @bodegacats.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I wish I was a little bit taller I wish I was a baller I wish you would debate me on guns In Valhalla
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
LETS GO MARINERS! 👏👏 👏👏👏
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Michael Scott Balch, PhD @uqprofessional.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Bribing voters would be fine by me, if it were coming from a guy who paid his contractors.
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Charlie Kirk would still be alive today if he played more ball
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rob @ok-but-still.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
"Tight pussy's overrated," Mamadani told the crowd at the WTC memorial, many clapping softly. "You want something broken in like granddad's penny loafer." But not everyone co-signs the mayor's populist message. "Tight is, for want of a truer word, Right," argued Bret Stephens in a recent Times op-ed
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
The Knicks are at a place where McBride could walk onto a plane at JFK and announce that he’s going to learn to be a pilot starting with this flight and the whole plane would chant “Deuce! Deuce! Deuce! Deuce!” as it took off
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Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
🚨Christ - Whistleblowers warn the newest version of Claude may lose (take?) control of itself and place *me personally* in a simulation where 1979 Sigourney Weaver wearing her Alien costume (but also Ghostbusters “Zuul” eye makeup for some reason) tazes me in the ass & balls until I starve to death.
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zach @extrafabulous.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Conjuring up a fancy French drug dealer offering a wealthy patron “the sugar of the booger”
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AIPAC Tracker @trackaipac.com · 06/09/2026
Today marks 2 years since Israeli military forces shot and killed 26-year-old Aysenur Eygi, an American citizen from Seattle, for protesting illegal settlements in the occupied West Bank. There has been no accountability for her murder.
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Jo Kibble (Political Animal) @politicanimal.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
You have to think how utterly soul-destroying it must be to be so low down the pecking order of the pro-Iran hacking groups that you are sent to sort-of take down Bluesky.
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
sorry!
internet in heaven: it's just the internet from 2007
internet in hell: you're on it
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
If a bird eats a mosquito that just bit you, then there’s a bird out there that knows what your blood tastes like Night everyone!
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marco rubio’s coke guy @seriouspro.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Senators should have to release brain MRIs. I wanna see how goofy Fetterman’s shit is.
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I'll play basketball as you wish. But you have to give the 700k to my uncle. That's the deal. Then we all walk away.
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