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sam

@scadamancer.bsky.social
298 followers 20 following 583 posts

all-around dork

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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
FACT: THe origininal title of 'Moby Dick' was '10 Common Whaling Myths'
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
why is captain ahab's quest rendered meaningless even if he succeeds because it would defeat the porpoise
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
pawn advances to e6, threatening a rook sacrifice that results in a triple fork
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
(whole pie on the breakroom counter) COWORKER 1: whoa, check it out COWORKER 2: do you guys know what's goin on with that pie? ME: be careful... it could be a trap
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
why did professor walnut quit his job he wanted to get away from macadamia
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
get you a programmer who spends 3/4 of their work hours thinking about magic the gathering
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
cartoon mouse version of Flavor Flav with cheese wheels for clocks
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
the Three Rings came before the One Ring, yet the One Ring was able to bind them, making it the first Three Ring Binder
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
if i had a horse i would name it hypotenuse
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
we got one of those countertop ice makers and it sounds like the machines in the ICU
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
wait Kevin Gausman is a cub now?
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
a group of squids is called a squad
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
my mspaint skills are unparalleled unless you hold down the shift key
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
little nap before bedtime
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
BRITA: tell me again how you decided on my name? DAD: well, i named you after my favorite water cooler MR. COFFEE: godamnit
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
sometimes i will take a 5min break before i put on my other sock
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
people usually think its weird for the cetaceans to be descended from two-toed ungulates but just heard a faun outside my window calling for its mother and it sounded so much like a dolphin its crazy
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
reading moby dick in the tub w/ a little sailboat
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
i came here to take a nap and kick ass... and i'm all outta ass
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
in recognition of 10 years working this fuckass job
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
out walking a dog and i need to take shit. life's not fair.
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
i made a joke about pole vaulting and it went over ok
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
i made up a joke about what happens when you serve up german sausages with no bun. but it's just the wurst.
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
i like swiss cheese because i just want to feel something
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
similar kind of deal happening with buttholes
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
i'm on sort of a hot streak of saying dumb shit to people and embarrassing myself oh well
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
land-boat
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
i took two (2) naps today
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
this is your mission. roll up to this daycare in full tactical gear to harass some kids and teachers. when you get spooked by your own shadow like a panicked horse and start shooting your gun, our pedophile president will call the person you shot a terrorist. good luck soldier
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
rare triple non sequiter collapsed thread
INTERNETHIPPO: The phone is for making posts like "the ass is the father of the legs" whereas the computer is for posts that include words like "inexorably"

...

PUTSONFLOWERCROWNF: in my experience this is not how the drainage basin flows

THETACOBELLBELL: BONG
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
twenty fresh baked cookies
top view photo of cookies on a cooling rack

they form a 4x5 grid, with one missing from the corner position
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dr. rich traditions, JD @helldude.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
everything just has to stick in your craw now. you need a huge craw. i know it's pointless to say. i know! but it fucking sucks shit to see these preening clowns lavishing public funds on cruel vanity projects and Content while stuffing their pockets and crying about fraud and waste
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 13/10/2025
i am so ready for quantum to be the next dumb buzzword the tech industry forces everyone to pretend to care about. "how are you incorporating quantum into your daily work?" i'm not but it's so refreshing you asked me a new and different stupid question
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 28/09/2025
“The request was for us to go inform them that the space was not reserved through the proper channels and attempt to identify anyone that was there,” the police report stated. Brown showed The Post an email confirming the students’ reservation www.denverpost.com/2025/09/26/c...
denverpost.com
CU Boulder police shut down student groups’ screening of Palestinian film
As students were setting up for the film in the ATLAS Institute, two CU police officers showed up and blocked people from entering, a member of Boulder Students for Justice in Palestine said.
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 24/09/2025
i think i'm on team vegetarian lasagna. spinach just outcompetes beef or pork in that arena
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth* A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel” Person watching on tv: well if they say so
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L Ron Mexico @lronmexico.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
Locked inside a dying shopping mall where the owner walks around in a dirty diaper demanding praise, and all the mall cops are dressed like army men ready to fuck you up for laughing or pointing out how empty and sad it all is
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
there's nothing funny about this guy getting shot in the neck on a school campus while he was mid-sentence explaining why school shootings are not real and we just have to live with them
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👻BOOryan BlessDeAd🎃 @bryb.bsky.social · 01/09/2025
This seems important:
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
newsome = saruman
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
new thing to say when a little fart pops out: oh shit, was that gunshots?
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
I would rather die than create an account to continue
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sam @scadamancer.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
PREDICTION: In the future, everyone will wear lightweight helmets around basically all the time.
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Ned Resnikoff @resnikoff.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
Turning into a single issue voter for 2028, where the issue is which Democratic candidate will vow to nominate the most rabidly partisan, vengeful and hate-filled AG you can possibly imagine
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Gumby Screens @gumbyscreens.bsky.social · 26/06/2025
Frame #175 from 60sE84 motor mania
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