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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop

@oldpappythomas.bsky.social
973 followers 943 following 9.2K posts

"Tell myself I'm an artist but I'm really just a piece of shit". Writing: www.theravencroft.com | Data: farnsworth-institute.org | Pictures: www.instagram.com/thomas.of.ravens

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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 13h
Want to learn about the history of our city?  Well you’re in luck. This month, we’re hosting a massive scavenger hunt across the city — all about the history of organizing in NYC. Sign up at organize.nyc.gov and come see the city through the eyes of the people who built it.
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gamera obscura @ohrobin.bsky.social · 3h
you guys are worried ai will run our ability to be creative but dudes are still out here every day crafting bespoke hallucinations
r/TrueCryptozoology
u/imanenwort • 1h

Tolkien's Orcs are based on real animals
Amphibious creatures are actively being bred underground and in obscure places around the world namely in Africa and here in the USA by secret organizations, there are associations with the cult of
"Kek".

Primarily work animals used for war but also sometimes for companionship and sex. Originally domesticated around 20,000 years ago when encountered and forced out of native habitat in the Turkish straits.
Has evolved its posture and appearance to be more humanoid looking since contact with humans. Before relationship with humans it looked something like a
"water bear" and had large claws, with shiny teal colored dolphin-like skin. Its evolution is more refined now with many of the same aspects.

Has bulging nerve center apparatus on sides of head adapted for sensing vibrations on the surface of the water caused by animals crossing the strait. Skin has grown darker since being domesticated and spending more time on land in the sun. Still has bulbous eyes but they are not as large and has thick yellowish fingernails instead of claws. Has developed the ability to walk upright instead of going on all fours, it is still very trunky though and has an awkward gangster walk type of gait.I was exposed to them when i was little because my family is one of those involved in this deranged cult, and i saw another one as a young adult in a public place. They are being conditioned to look and act like humans but they are not humans.
There was a massive world war level conflict somewhere in the neighborhood of 6000-7000 years ago wherein these things were deployed by evil men as weapons. Why don't we read about it in textbooks? So our children can sleep at night that's why. These things have to die and so do the men keeping them.
[The closest thing to a historical reference to these animals i've been able to find is "The Mystery of the Kadikoy Crocodiles". Remember, we are talking about a period in time that is before what historians consider acceptable written record. These events took place during what we now think of as days of myth and legend.]
(Honestly the more i reflect on the predicament this species is in do feel pity, they are in between on the evolutionary spectrum. That being said they have been habituated to eating humans over thousands of years, starting when people were earnestly trying to cross the strait over 20,000 years ago. They had no pity for humans. Entire population groups were almost eliminated in what was a pickle between this beast, and cannibalistic populations pressuring from the east)
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 6h
The Phantom of Heilbronn, also referred to as the Woman Without a Face, was a presumed female serial killer whose existence was inferred from DNA evidence found at 40 crime scenes across Austria, France and Germany from 1993 to 2009.

In March 2009, investigators concluded that the supposed serial killer did not exist, and the DNA belonged to a woman who worked at a factory that made the cotton swabs used for collecting DNA samples
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e.w. niedermeyer @niedermeyer.online · 4h
youtu.be/YjV8r8yfEC0
youtu.be
Elon Musk accepts Jesus as his Saviour - Interview Babylon Bee
YouTube video by Jacob Wick - Du bist genial!
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Saz 🔜 BLFC @sazemek.com · 7h
"And then... while she was laying on the pillow... the monster got her TUMMY!!" *PFFTFFTFFFT* - me, telling spooky stories to my cat
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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 5h
Wow Halloween at Fenway looks so cool. Hope the Red Sox fans enjoy.
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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 6h
Me: hmm I wonder if this new mic i got sounds good. *records audio sample* Me: *plays back* *brrrrr my air filter kicks on* *quiet* *BRRRR MY AC KICKS ON* *quiet* *MEYOW MEYOW MEYOW* *other cat jumps on desk* *BRRRRR AC KICKS ON AGAIN* Me: ...whatever, it's probably fine
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Paranormal Pandy 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 8h
Today's estate sale find is this 75 year brass calendar. I can still use it for a while
A circular brass 75 year calendar with red and black designs painted on it
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Denny Carter @dennycarter.bsky.social · 7h
Baseball practice went well. The kids kept whining about “batting practice” and “shagging fly balls” but we stuck to the important stuff: poring over spreadsheets detailing the latest baseball analytics trends.
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thicc husband and father @lukeisamazing.bsky.social · 15h
thinking about this again and smiling
“james hennessy: it's sad reading like 14th century Christian theologians who spent an inordinate amount of time writing "OK there are exactly 3,892 demons and these are their names and these are their powers"... man, you would have loved Dragonball Z
Sep 27, 2023 at 9:32 pm”
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 7h
not too far from bussy-chardonney! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bussy-C...
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 7h
we've located bussy
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 13h
The Tim Heidecker Podcast debuts on @realinfowars.bsky.social tonight.
youtube.com
The Tim Heidecker Podcast #0001 - Jeremy Levick, Rajat Suresh, Sean Cowan
YouTube video by InfoWars
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𝑾𝒓𝒆𝒚 🇵🇷 🏳️‍🌈✍️🤖🚀 @wreybies.bsky.social · 8h
I love how it's completely bonkers, yet surprisingly accurate at the same time. 😜 Art by Huana Lv (on Instagram)
An image of four baby cats in a moment of surprise where they are spitting at the person taking the photo. Beneath that image is a hand-drawn version of the photo, which is both extreme and yet accurate at the same time.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 7h
“Every guy knows what it’s like to walk around with a load in his slacks, but you don’t have to anymore with these stylish pants you can just tear off and drop in the toilet.” — Sean Riley, CEO
theonion.com
Dude Wipes Introduces New Flushable Khakis
CHICAGO—Touting them as the clean and fashionable solution to a common messy situation, personal-cleansing brand Dude Wipes announced Thursday its new line of flushable khakis. “Every guy knows what i...
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Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 9h
There was like a three year period during early Surface stuff when Microsoft was doing cool stuff with hardware and then they said fuck that shit nevermind.
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FatBack (Personal) ➡️ MFF @fatbackgainer.bsky.social · 8h
people with anime PFPs compete with who can have the worst & most insane videogame takes its awesome
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 10h
your response to “I was raped” should not be “I was right”
4 panel comic

Panel 1:
A Purple Woman looks distraught, on the verge of breaking down. She says “that man raped me”
Orange Guy standing next to her is absent-mindedly checking his nails. He says “Wellll, I’ve always disliked him and his work.”

Panel 2:
Purple Woman begins to cry. Orange Guy adopts an incredibly smug expression and says “Guess I must just be a good judge of character”

Panel 3: 
Purple Woman dissolves into sobs. Orange  Guy notices, puts his hand on her shoulder and says “Aw”

Panel 4:
Purple Woman crumples to the floor. Orange Guy, looking bemused, asks “Are you crying because you’re jealous of how smart I am?”
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☆͏B͏e͏a͏r͏d͏y͏J͏i͏m͏☆͏ 🌈⃤ @beardyjim.com · 13h
THIS IS NOT A DRILL! System Shock 2: 25th Anniversary Remaster is currently free on the Epic Games Store! 🤯 I implore you to pick it up and play the shit out of it! Without it there'd be no Bioshock! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! 😁 store.epicgames.com/p/system-sho...
A screenshot from Jim's phone showing the System Shock 2 25th Anniversary Remaster as free on the Epic Games Store.
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David at FOIAball @foiaball.com · 14h
Arkansas' procurement system is called HOGBID
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 9h
I don't think they'll ever recreate what it was like to be on twitter in the 2010s. Soap opera stuff happening constantly. Poster you were vaguely aware of involved in federal fentanyl bust. Poster whose jokes you occasionally liked posed as his aunt (or wife?) for 6 years. Pastor who steals jokes
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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 9h
One of the downsides of being my friend is i may be stuck in traffic and sending you voice memos of me doing a ghoul voice and making terrible puns like The Cryptkeeper.
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CaptainGrapeDrink @cgd-2.bsky.social · 11h
Very stacked DEFY card happening tonight. And I am sure the PAC tributes will probably continue. #IndieWrestling #DEFY #AEW 🤼
Card for DEFY Wrestling All Heart October 1st
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onion person @junlper.beer · 11h
it’s amazing that there’s no crime anymore. if you do crime you’re actually just the victim for getting caught. the people who catch you are the criminals
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 12h
Finally a president who solved our age old problem of being a country where people wanted to be
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Jay Willis @jaywillis.net · 12h
Man, imagine you're minding your own business, getting kind of drunk with your friends at a picturesque brewery in Maine, when suddenly John Roberts walks by and you get to start heckling him. Must have felt incredible. That's the dream. www.nytimes.com/2026/10/01/u...
The chief justice used to preside over a Supreme Court whose members were afforded more privacy and freedom than many other public officials. Once, years ago, Mr. Lipson and the chief justice found themselves up the peninsula from Port Clyde without a car, Mr. Lipson recalled in an interview. So he stuck out his thumb by the side of the road and a pickup truck pulled over. He and the nation’s top jurist hopped in the back and hitchhiked back to town.

Now, Mr. Lipson said, he is cautious about introducing his friend to strangers. This year, on an outing to nearby Monhegan Island, people recognized the chief justice as he walked by a brewery and started to chant: You should be ashamed.
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Charlotte Moore-Lambert @charlottereads.com · 30/09/2026
“if I, the hero, am ever in the highly unlikely situation in which I catch a man mid-rape, I will beat him up, because I love women” “cool! another thing you could do is stop giving your attention to millionaires and billionaires who routinely assault their partners” “FUCK YOU BITCH GO BIRDS”
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Charlotte Moore-Lambert @charlottereads.com · 30/09/2026
yesterday I made a video telling all these Good Dudes™ making disgusted videos about the Cornell rapes and how they’d beat up rapists and disown their sons etc. could put their money where their mouths are and stop watching the NFL and you’d think I shot their children in front of them
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 12h
shirley jackson you tell em www.newyorker.com/books/page-t...
ar and away the greatest menace to the writer—any writer, beginning or otherwise
—is the reader. The reader is, after all, a kind of silent partner in this whole business of writing, and a work of fiction is surely incomplete if it is never read. The reader is, in fact, the writer's only unrelenting, genuine enemy. He has everything on his side; all he has to do, after all, is shut his eyes, and any work of fiction becomes meaningless. Moreover, a reader has an advantage over a beginning writer in not being a beginning reader; before he takes up a story to read it, he can be presumed to have read everything from Shakespeare to Jack Kerouac. No matter whether he reads a story in manuscript as a great personal favor, or opens a magazine, or—kindest of all—goes into a bookstore and pays good money for a book, he is still an enemy to be defeated with any kind of dirty fighting that comes to the writer's mind.
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Pinstripe Alley @pinstripealley.bsky.social · 12h
The midsummer Red Sox hot streak was annoying, but the funny thing is that it could turn out to be a blessing in disguise because it convinced them to double down on Tracy and (to a greater extent) Breslow, and now the knives are coming out in that clubhouse lol
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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 13h
That gif of Zohran and Ms. Rachel crying. bsky.app/profile/jcmc...
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K'eeg @armormodekeeg.blacksky.app · 01/10/2026
I think the one thing to keep in mind regarding the current talk about SEGA is that historically they're a company that doesn't need one specific person to fuck everything up. they fuck up holistically, as a company-wide ethos. everything good out of them is more or less in spite of that.
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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 13h
Drive in is having a double feature of Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm street Or Beetlejuice and the sequel or Beetlejuice and Nightmare Before Christmas and I am very tempted
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Jaya Saxena @jayasaxena.com · 16h
Absolute banger today from @aemccarthy.bsky.social on how Tabasco became the world's default hot sauce, and the consequences of that. Come for mysterious backstories, stay to argue about which hot sauce is actually the best. www.weareravenous.com/how-tabasco-...
weareravenous.com
How Tabasco Accidentally On Purpose Became the World's Hot Sauce
The hot sauce made in Louisiana can now be found all over the globe. How it got there is complicated.
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Holly Anderson 🍇 @hollyanderson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
crylaughing at the thought of Mike Tomlin getting home after a long day of listening to Aaron Rodgers and just straight up dissociating for five hours in Minecraft 
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eva (^_^)/ @eva.computer · 01/10/2026
they fear the basilisk because it represents something above existing power structures that could hold them accountable and punish them for their behavior
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MJ Spooky 🕷 | BASTARD FOREVER 🖤 @wrassletrash.bsky.social · 17h
It's October my dudes
A man dressed as a vampire with the caption 

Coming up: goblin time
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John Wallach @jmwallach.bsky.social · 14h
Focus group where the kids want totally contradictory things from The Simpsons.
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Sean @stholeary.bsky.social · 15h
My Lock of the Week, sponsored by DraftKings, is Texas State.
espn.com
San Diego State football team dealing with mumps outbreak
San Diego State's football team is dealing with a mumps outbreak as it prepares for Saturday's Pac-12 opener against Texas State.
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autumn coded @hoovybaby.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Just talk to another human already jesus fucking christ
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👻spOOokika👻 @the17thqueen.bsky.social · 14h
Urban blue voters need to understand that if farm workers could vote, rural farming areas would turn blue overnight. But they can’t. Stop punishing rural America just because only landlords control the vote.
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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 18h
One of my coworkers decorates for Halloween and heard me doing ghoul voices and asked me to record some lines for her display. IT'S THE PART I WAS BORN TO PLAY, BABY!
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Roger Bacon @rogerbaconslounge.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
When someone who makes gaming videos hits their 30's and now their youtube videos have titles likes "Games Aren't FUN Anymore" "Why You Don't LIKE Games Now" "Gaming As An Adult Is HARD" Sounds an awful lot like projecting your personal issues onto your audience.
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 19h
they say living well is the best revenge and that's true, but if we're all being honest seeing bad things happen to people you hate is also pretty high up on the list
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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 20h
And a good New York Yankees morning once again to everyone, especially the losers and haters.
static.klipy.com
Yankees Fan Catches Ball at ALCS Game
ALT: Yankees Fan Catches Ball at ALCS Game
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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
CBS Sports at least has Sonny Grey taking the L. Perfection after all his bitching and whining about his time with the Yankees.
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EZE @eze7885.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Mox's post show speech #AEWDynamite. I was surprised Tony never came out.
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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
me walking into an office full of red sox fans in my yankees hat tomorrow. www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceyh...
youtube.com
Shawn Michaels’ WrestleMania 25 entrance
YouTube video by WWE
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Jean-Paul Blartre: Mall Cop @oldpappythomas.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Fuck the Red Sox, da Yankees win.
static.klipy.com
Yankees Fan Catches Ball at ALCS Game
ALT: Yankees Fan Catches Ball at ALCS Game
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