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nat.haus

@nat.haus
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 1h
I stunk a company in the emails until I got a $600 custom merch refund. I'm a good CEO :)
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 1h
ok boring ass
quote tweet of my goatse wall charger tweet with "there are some things that just shouldn't exist, and this is one of them." thank you for your input. gen-x or faillennial or fail-x-ennial behavior. you probably said "umm.... okayyyy??" if someone made a absurdist joke while also being "penguin of doom" coded
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 6h
seeing an ad for "clothing-optional yoga" with AI art is what finally bricked me
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 7h
B.S., M.S., Ph.D.
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 7h
expensing this on the business card and getting called into HR (which is just my desk in my living room because I'm the boss)
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 9h
racially 👏 inclusive 👏 goatse 👏 wall 👏 charger 👏
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 12h
WHERE DOES IT GO
power strip that disappears into the desk??
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 13h
I got to murder mart so often that I stopped to help them clean because I gotta give back yknow
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gamera obscura @ohrobin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
this poor model looks so bummed out by this stupid level 1 rpg dress
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 14h
the end of my personal email signature says Save a tree – don't print this email. Don't read it. Don't even look at it. Just delete and move on ❤︎
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 23h
it's giving tree 🫳
book cover for shel silverstein's the giving tree close up of the tree's hand. doesn't he seem a little uhh... you know..... (makes limp wrist motion)
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 28/09/2026
do any philly oldheads remember this? there used to be a truck that was sometimes parked off spring garden in the early aughts, it might have said "FBI" on it, and they had a legitimate passport / fingerprinting but they also had a secret menu where they could print you up a fake ID
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 28/09/2026
and it's yet another service that claims it's all AI but in reality is run by offshore call center workers being paid pennies to help Americans be lazy treatlerites
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 28/09/2026
lmfao
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 28/09/2026
how does he make enough money to keep doing this? is it Thielbux or
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 27/09/2026
type shit
youtu.be
Dögös Robi Gyere Gábor Gyere
YouTube video by magyarhun1999
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 27/09/2026
NYU Langone Chopped Unc Rehabilitation Center
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Joad The Wet Sprocket @joadsprocket.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Never Forget
A real tweet from Sean Davis in 2021 that reads "mommy milky"
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 18/06/2026
keeping the hollywood-ready reddit stories coming!!
swamps of dagobah - a body horror about having to deal with massive exploding rectal polyps because of injecting IV drugs into the perineum. a woman covered in mud (or what looks like shit) set in front of a paint mix of red and yellow and brown, with swamp matter in the foreground and background and a vintage hospital behind swamp trees on the top half. there's a lot of blood splatter. by A24 - tagline "that was bad."
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 18/06/2026
went in a different direction with this one. still a reddit story. maybe don't look this one up if you're squeamish. I think it'll be a hit in theaters!
the jolly rancher. tagline: "he wasn't a rancher. and he sure as hell wasn't jolly." a dismal abandoned ranch house set against a blood red sky, part of which is gonorrhea cells. a depressed dark cowboy kneels at the front in the fallow dirt. (the story on reddit is about a guy who went down on his girl who was clearly having some major pungent problems down there, so he put a jolly rancher in his mouth to help with the viscera, and accidentally spit it into her and when he tried to get it out he extracted a gonorrhea pustule)
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 18/06/2026
here's one I think will appeal to the big Hollywood agencies that are scouring Reddit for stories right now. I think it will do numbers! I even put a logo on it as a sort of mockup to show them what's possible :)
cumbox: a reddit story (it's the actual cum box photo layered over a dingy one-window basement. the window is shining a light on a shoebox on the floor that's peeking open) the lower right corner says "don't look it up. in theaters 9/11/2027" and the lower left corner has David Ellison with a cum splatter next to a Paramount logo that says underneath it "a skydance corporation and David Ellison corporation"
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 17/06/2026
a backrooms-esque poster for "poop knife" that features an old toilet, a yellow nasty bathroom wall with peeling wallpaper, a crucific in the background, and a rusty or dirty knife hanging next to the toilet. it says "bathrooms" in the same way as the backrooms posters say "backrooms" on the bottom. by A24
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 18/06/2026
I made another A24 reddit story film poster :)
"two broken arms" by A24. a story (from reddit) of a teenage boy who broke both his arms whose mom started jerking him off. he proceeded to have a sexual relationship with her for years after. the poster shows a backrooms esque bare bedroom, fluorescently lit with a sickly yellow tone. a mom's hand (with a "boy mom" bracelet")  is reaching out to touch one of her son's two broken arms. it's michelangelo-creation-of-man-esque. bedrooms - in theaters may 29 2027
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 26/09/2026
I just got a reverse catcall: a drunk woman who was passing by looked at me and yelled "YOU A BAD BITCH"
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 26/09/2026
his superpower is pica
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 26/09/2026
my dad is a high school dropout immigrant paratrooper veteran who voted for Trump 1 and he says about trans people, "some people were just born in the wrong body"
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 24/09/2026
Happy Bisexual Night of Visibility
me in a hi viz vest and neon yellow shirt, with neon yellow nails, blacklit, standing in the middle of the road with my legs shoulder width apart wearing triangular sunglasses down to the tip of my nose and black lipstick. the moon is visible behind me
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 25/09/2026
I just know that this is the avi of an edgy Bosnian teen girl
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 25/09/2026
cleanliness is godliness but dirtiness is dogliness
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 25/09/2026
the last line is intended to be read with the tenor of "back at it again with the white vans"
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 25/09/2026
ever do a bunch of ketamine and then immediately afterwards, once you sit on the couch, like clockwork, your cat has diarrhea and it permeates throughout the house and you spend the next hour with a KN-95 on scrubbing the litterbox and floor and pooper scooper while dissociating?
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 25/09/2026
I once bullied Susan Sarandon's nephew for playing guitars at parties and his older brother messaged me to say some really mean things. just an aside. she rules. love a consistently principled queen
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 25/09/2026
free display name: Brian Rot
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 24/09/2026
Tommy Tuberville: "Many airline pilots, air traffic controllers, and flight attendants are part of the furry community. [sigh] Lord help us. It's terrifying when you think about this." Furries hold up the sky 💙
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Daniel Scarfone, Cigarette Wife @danielscarfone.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
BI VIZ
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 24/09/2026
Happy Bisexual Night of Visibility
me in a hi viz vest and neon yellow shirt, with neon yellow nails, blacklit, standing in the middle of the road with my legs shoulder width apart wearing triangular sunglasses down to the tip of my nose and black lipstick. the moon is visible behind me
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 24/09/2026
I put on these glasses for the first time since I went blonde and looked in the mirror and let out an audible groan
me, blonde, with bangs, and big thick black glasses Garth from Wayne's World
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 23/09/2026
reactivated my LinkedIn against my will and noticed that apparently, in 2021, the Center for Popular Democracy tried to poach me from my job to be co-Executive Director lmao
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 23/09/2026
Working on my JFK biopic. It's called "Out With a Bang"
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 23/09/2026
@neildegrassetyson.com can you make them bring Genshin Impact back online
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Tom Pain @tompain.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
inside you are two wolves: one is breathing and the other is thinking about how to translate the navy seal copypasta into old English
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 22/09/2026
you could not pay me to give a shit about Duncan Trussell unless it's Elephant Graveyard laying a verbal beating so hard that even the DMT machine elves are pointing and laughing at him
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 22/09/2026
damn....
inside you there are two wolves, literally, it seems
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 22/09/2026
the research for this video took about 20x the amount of time it took to actually write the script and shoot it
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 22/09/2026
@retronymous.com if you're wondering who has your handle on Instagram, it's my irl friend lol www.instagram.com/retronymous
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Karen Geier @karengeier.com · 22/09/2026
this is cinema
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 22/09/2026
I can't believe we forced the leading Brand-Safe to make a statement on Gaza
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Asschapel Roan @stochasticburrito.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
An implausibly busty anime girl yelling: 

ANON WHAT DID YOU DO?!
WHEN I SAID MEN SHOULD BE GOING TO WAR I MEANT, LIKE, 
IDK. GOING OUTSIDE? NOT SITTING INSIDE GAMING AND JACKING OFF? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ANNEXED PLANS?! ARE THOSE PRISONERS OF WAR IN MY MOM'S 2003 FORD WINDSTAR?! GET EM OUTTA THERE!
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mr pussy (prison arc) @nat.haus · 22/09/2026
I have a scoop about a way that Lowes is seriously fucking over delivery drivers in certain states and I am wondering if any journo pals who are on the labor beat would be willing to take it up. if a driver removes a fridge from a box and it doesn't fit, they have to PAY FOR IT OUT OF THEIR POCKET.
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Himbo Deluxe @verylarge.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO
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