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Matt Tobey

@mtobey.bsky.social
2.8K followers 683 following 634 posts

Past: Comedy Central, The Onion Future: Dead 📍Michigan He/him

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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I thought I was watching “Billie Jean”
static.klipy.com
Michael Jackson Thriller Werewolf Transformation
ALT: Michael Jackson Thriller Werewolf Transformation
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Who’s next?
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
There’s Twin Peaks, The Sopranos, and The Leftovers, and then there’s everything else
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
There are twice as many good F&Fs as good Star Warses
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Continues to nail it!
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 19/05/2025
My guy doesn’t miss! bsky.app/profile/jack...
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Every time I think he’s done mackling…
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
You don’t get points for being a musician or actor who is generally a standard issue lib you have to be explicitly for trans people and Palestine or who gives a shit.
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Abdul El-Sayed @abdulelsayed.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
We're being told that if we sacrifice the rights of some people, then the rest of us get to keep our rights. We all know that's some BS.
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😱 Spooky SpectreKILLoquy 🔪 🩸 @caulimovirus.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
rob
@OkButStill
crumbster: Hi, hawaiian bread forum newb but i've enjoyed it for years. Got a loaf of Lewis (budget fav) today. It seems not as sweet lately? anyone else notice this?
Tj Lee (Mod): Well, I'd link you to the rules, but you must have read them and decided to break every single one
12:19 PM - Mar 2, 2022 • Twitter Web App
1,855 Retweets
48 Quote Tweets
15.2K Likes
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ryan cooper @ryanlcooper.com · 28/08/2026
when I visited Helsinki--which has gone years at a stretch with zero (0) traffic deaths--I was fully convinced that a very low speed limit was the secret sauce
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Need help filling up this list
Letterboxd list of movies that feature a Mervyn’s store that only has Crank on it
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Assignment Understander @90sslowjamz.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
The Anakin/Padme meme with Anakin saying “Well, here we are in the catacombs.” And padme says “For the Amontillado?” And Anakin looks back at her and she is partially covered by a brick wall
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
CELEBRATE AMERICA WITH THE CRUNCHY SNACK AND BRINGS BOLD FLAVOR EVERY TIME
Ruffles bag: CELEBRATE & TURN UP THE PARTY
RUFFLES® BRINGS THE RIDGES THAT RULE THE COURT AND THE PARTY.
CELEBRATE AMERICA
WITH THE CRUNCHY SNACK AND BRINGS
BOLD FLAVOR EVERY TIME.
RUFFLES
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Norm Charlatan @normcharlatan.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Matt Damon at the end of The Odyssey [getting in his boat]: I Odyssey about a girl.
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
The coastal elites of Michigan have spoken
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Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 06/08/2026
Aaron Swartz deserves more justice and reconsideration than almost anybody in this century
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
I hope Haley Stevens runs for office again because it was really fun to watch her lose
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Louise Lucas is my Christ @itsmemario.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
It’s real!
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Our children will never know the feeling of hearing this album for the first time while loitering at Borders Books, audibly gasping when the “Close to Me” riff hits during the title track, and locking eyes with the cutie behind the counter who gives you an “I know, right?” look
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
That Stutz dude has got to be the worst therapist alive
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Mike Schuster @mcs212.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Life is nothing but a series of ups, downs, lefts, rights, Bs, As, and starts. And now I have 30 of them.
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Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
it’s pretty obvious that a lot of people remember that COVID lockdowns were unpleasant and from there just extrapolate that they were therefore bad policy
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Unpopular opinion: farts lowkey smell kinda good, but only mine
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Paris Hilton stop being poor shirt
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👺 hell camino acid 👻👹 @sexdracula.rocks · 02/08/2026
Hard to imagine bigger loser shit than relitigating the “lockdowns” when there were no real lockdowns you just weren’t allowed to eat inside the burger king for a few weeks.
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
It had started to seem like a good idea to get a gun
It had started to seem like a good idea to get a gun
It had started to seem like a good idea to get a gun. Go to the gun store I guess (?) If they have one around here. Pick one out. Yeah that one seems cool thank you man. Oh wow it is pretty light. Or heavy. Pay for it. Learn how to use it. The whole thing. Almost dropping it on the way to the car lol. Montage of me at the shooting range with some troop looking guy behind me as the target hurtles toward the camera. Patting me on the back and laughing like not bad new guy. Not bad at all. I’d be smiling so big. With the goggles and ear protectors on that they make you wear. Proud of myself. I did get the paper man pretty good after all. And I was new at this. Not a direct kill shot but precise enough that he would bleed out pretty quickly you had to imagine. His paper blood. Man I would have killed myself so many times by now if I had had a gun. Five hundred times or more. Right in the fucking head. Right where my brain is. Over something big or nothing at all. Still it had started to seem like a good idea to get a gun.
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Everything reminds me of Haley Stevens
Soda can: Contains no juice
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Stork @eightxeroxedbutts.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Wage theft is the biggest form of theft, accounting for more losses than all other forms of theft *combined*. So, in one sense it happens all the time. Business owners tend to be closer to power than employees, the cases don't get publicized, and employees aren't really told the rules.
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Codependency Cringeworthy Head game Limerence Shark repellent
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thejrocktv.bsky.social @thejrocktv.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
She knows she’s losing so she said let’s just go mask off.
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Gallifreyan Jedi @jediofgallifrey.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
iconic randygdub tweet from 2016:

dems are gonna look themselves in the mirror, take a deep breath and tell themselves 'we gotta get more racist'
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Andi Zeisler @andizeisler.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Very sad to say that I was laid off yesterday along with a bunch of great @salon.com colleagues My time there was short and busy: I got to write about books and relationships and how much gen AI sucks and people being horny for Frankenstein’s monster Some of my faves are linked below
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A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Cannot get over how electable just drifting away from a constituent who asked you a challenging question makes you.
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Ask me again on August 5
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Andrew Ti @andrewti.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Michigan: we had a whiter stripe
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
I love seeing hate for Haley spread nationwide. It’s like watching my favorite local band finally blow up
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InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Is nothing sacred anymore?
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Sable, Sapphic Wet Nightmare 🏳️‍⚧️ @ghostlysable.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
I love when an insult like "Bloodless Quant" really lands and you can almost feel the reverberations in the psychosphere
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
I cold-smoked salmon for the first time so that’s a new power unloxed
An open face everything bagel topped with cream cheese, cucumber, homemade lox, green onion, and capers
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Alejandro Arbona 🇵🇷 @alejandrobot.com · 21/07/2026
They couldn't make The Sopranos today, because of woke up this morning
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Ahhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 20/07/2026
Bourgeois economists are propagandists for capital
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
And just like clockwork here comes the woke mob!
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
That’s Sir Andy Serkis as the pizza! Best in the biz!
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Matt Tobey @mtobey.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
It was such a thrill to once again work with my dear friends Robert, Chris, Florence, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Criss, Chris, Oprah, and Chris.
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MadGreek 🧿 @madgreek2024.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
I was reading how Starbucks iced coffee was a rip off, adding way too much ICE and little coffee. And came across this story. 🤪 ICE agents made the mistake of walking into a Starbucks in Mt. Laurel, New Jersey, expecting an ordinary coffee stop. They got this instead, watch video. Thank you NJ 💙
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Jonathan Cohn @jonathancohn.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
The "defund the police" cost Democrats countless elections claim always sits awkwardly with the fact that peak "defund" activism was 2020, the year that Democrats won their first federal governing trifecta since 2008.
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Stan Kelly @kartoonistkelly.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
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