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hi their

@mikemay.bsky.social
2.4K followers 504 following 24K posts

My opinions are those of your employer

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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 22m
Thirty days hath September April June and November All the rest are dead and gone Just as you will soon do, son
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Azure Emerald Empire @azureemeraldempire.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
Doc: There’s no easy way to say this…you have JLP’s Disease. Me: How Long Do I Have 2: Live
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 53m
They're putting a stop to my evil plans once and for all later today
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 9h
Personally this is not how I would start a conversation unprompted
Ingo from Ocarina of Time stating "There are some people in Kakariko spreading rumos that I cheated Talon out of the ranch, but..."
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 9h
"I can't believe how WASTEFUL ocarina of time's developers were!" okay well they were creating a generationally successful and beloved game, okay? they can waste a few megabytes if they want
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 10h
I'd like to apologize for anything that's wrong with anything
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
"No man would want a domineering Latina girl as their girlfriend", I say, earning fifth place in the "Most incorrect thing ever said" contest
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Drew @4484.cool · 18h
Watch out! Dracula has obtained several power-ups!
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 18h
You'll know it happened when my posts suddenly start getting better
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bog landlord @pondslurp.bsky.social · 20h
i had a blast but can you please not invite basho next time? his vivid depictions of the change of seasons make me painfully aware of my own transience
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 19h
microdosing microdosing by slowly decreasing the amount of drug I take over time
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 21h
I love being intellectually dishonest
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Gabri @someburgerfan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
you ever see something that's clearly comedy and be like hahaha and share it to your pal and then you're both like hahaha 🤣🤣😸😸 #relatable
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Make sure to keep deku shields away from my posts, because they burn in the presence of fire.
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deuteronomy @thuleanperspective.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
we noticed that you aren't being kind to our ads
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doing bad jesse ventura impression at dinner @wagyuhotdog.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Moe Be Dick? He sure is one to curly and Larry
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
They're adding extra sources of enrichment to my enrichment center
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Do I have to
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I disagree with your most passionately held beliefs
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
making this my tinder bio
dampe from Majora's Mask saying "My face is frightening, but I am not a bad person!"
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Thought-ruminating cliche
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
They've entrusted me with a terrible power
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Fans are divided over Taylor Swift's new song, "I think straight boyfriends of bisexual women are as brave as the troops, and to clarify this is not an ironic way to say I do not support the troops, because I do support them 100%", with some criticizing the overall message of the song.
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
It takes a village, to have a village
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I love making impulse purchases
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Naomi Elizabeth @naomielizabeth.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Great news! All annoying people have been placed in a grain silo! ~ No grain was harmed in making this post ~
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New Video Game Advisor @newvgadvisor.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Gran Turismo 7 (PS5, 2022)
A man named Beauvois is saying, "Best make sure you have a good breakfast. I suggest a baguette!"
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
guy who's currently being eaten by the beast: i believe we can reform the beast from the inside
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Transferring your save data to the cloud, please wait... I'm sorry, the transfer process has failed. All of your save data has been deleted.
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The average man's appetite for philosophy is adequately satiated by the posters that hang on the walls of a Jimmy John's. Anything more is simply destructive excess.
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The @colmguapo.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
90th percentile “parapolitics” account
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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
COMMISSIONER GORDON: They call him the Headler. He doesn't kill his victims, but he does give them tremendous quality of head. BATMAN: That's disgusting. COMMISSIONER GORDON: They smile so big that they have a great time. BATMAN: I'm going to break my rule of not killing, for the Headler.
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mammon @derekhill.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
extra, extra. read about all of it
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Me?
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cool girl 1996 @11828appelstall.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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my ordinary life @calne.ca · 27/09/2026
im very busy
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I'm the one who is short selling GameStop. I'm doing all of it. All trillions of dollars of it.
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
On average, up to three dollars per day
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
DJ got us falling in love again. His dangerous mind control music must be stopped.
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
pretty funny prank for Donkey Kong Country to put the best piece of music in the entire series and have it only start to get good once you're finishing the levels it's in
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
sorry about my negative qualities and you're welcome for my positive ones
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I'm still mad about play to earn games. Who the hell actually thought that would legitimately work long term
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
If a ghost ever tried to haunt me I would use my ability to instantly process and accept trauma in order to defeat it immediately.
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
they pretty much immediately let Ganondorf get the triforce aftet this btw
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
My ex wife, am I right???
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
my 9 games that define me:
Donkey Kong Country 2
Team Fortress 2
Slay the Spire
Overwatch
Super Mario 64
Zelda
Monster Hunter 2
Hearthstone
Dance Dance Revolution
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Every movie that takes place on a post-apocolyptic earth should end with the protagonist discovering the half buried ruins of the statue of liberty and becoming shocked, even if it was obvious to him he was on earth the whole time.
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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Cleaning my son's room and found his bluesky account open on his school laptop to a draft that said "smoking that shit that made dolores give claibirth". We do not know what it means, but we are deactivating Xfinity high speed home internet effective 8 am Monday morning.
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hi their @mikemay.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Lots of sexists think they're like Spike but they just don't have the complex backstory personal gravitas to pull it off
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