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Jean Claude Canned Ham

@kungfucornelius.bsky.social
47 followers 46 following 40 posts

Trying real hard not to be a dingus. (He/Him)

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Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 16/12/2025
Alice has now seen “Wake Up Dead Man” which means now I can talk about “Wake Up Dead Man” as approximately one million of you have asked me to do. intermittent live-blog in the quoted thread. gay Catholic musings below:
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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
I approve cost cutting in the production of new Air Force One planes. imo they shouldn't waste money on inspections at all.
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Karen Hao @karenhao.bsky.social · 27/01/2025
As someone who has reported on AI for 7 years and covered China tech as well, I think the biggest lesson to be drawn from DeepSeek is the huge cracks it illustrates with the current dominant paradigm of AI development. A long thread. 1/
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Guru Voux Doux @guruvouxdoux.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
💐
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
John Cheez-It: You can't do this. This is not my vision. Stop Extra Toasty Cheez-Its: They are staying in the oven 8 seconds longer or we're going to do something even more insane Crystal Cheez-Its: You Can See Through Us. Please Believe Them. We Taste Like A Cheez-It But We Are Transparent
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Alan Sepinwall @sepinwall.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
No one EVER learns the lesson of Surf Dracula
A tweet by @topherflorence that reads, "back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale"
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phil @philjamesson.com · 14/12/2024
your true love gave you eight maids a milking? cool. just one question. what the fuck are you talking about
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Jean Claude Canned Ham @kungfucornelius.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
No entity, living or dead, has ever concentrated on performing a task with as much focus as my dog when he decides his testicles need cleaning.
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Disney Prime Video + ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ @disneyprimevideo.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
Whether real-life or fiction, finding entertainment or humor in someone else's pain is intolerance, and it is NEVER okay. In 'Settings', click the "Empathy" tab to turn on helpful alerts that will keep your schaudenfreude in check. We're all in this together. #DisneyCares
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𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗟 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗡 @outlawvern.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
I haven't seen this documentary so I'm just speaking of the cover... this genre of nostalgia art grosses me out. Reminds me of the Treehouse of Horror where Homer is force fed donuts in Hell.
Movie poster for '1982: Greatest Geek Year Ever!' showing a kid with a backwards hat reading a Daredevil comic book surrounded by a nauseatingly overindulgent collection of 1982 pop culture ephemera.
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Stew Smith @stewbiedoo.bsky.social · 25/11/2024
There's not much I remember about this show other than a puppet being the building's doorman and putting a hat on a store mannequin made it come to life.
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Anthony Iannaccio @mrtonynacho.bsky.social · 22/11/2024
For some reason the X-Men animated series theme fits perfectly with the Garfield and Friends intro.
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
Hi everyone. The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars. We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website. We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off. I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.
nytimes.com
The Onion Buys Alex Jones’s Infowars Out of Bankruptcy
The satirical news site planned to turn Infowars into a parody of itself, mocking “weird internet personalities” who peddle conspiracy theories and health supplements.
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Jean Claude Canned Ham @kungfucornelius.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
Kayvan Novak is doing TREMENDOUS work on WWDITS this season. The whole cast is always fantastic, but he’s absolutely killing it this season. Episode 5 was an all-timer.
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Jean Claude Canned Ham @kungfucornelius.bsky.social · 07/11/2024
“If I’m up there on that bar and you’re not, I’ll be looking down. I’ll always have your back.” -Commander Shepard #N7Day
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J. L. Westover @mrlovenstein.bsky.social · 16/09/2024
Secret Panel HERE 👍 tapas.io/episode/1869281
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Mary Gillis @marygillis.bsky.social · 14/09/2024
At Shipping Of Theseus, we guarantee fast delivery of your package, or an amalgam of your package and other objects that contains enough of your package to still be considered your package from a philosophical standpoint.
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 29/02/2024
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Innsmouth Looksmaxxing @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 23/01/2024
It’s called elevated horror, T. It’s when the dracula is actually that your mom died.
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Clark With Me In Hell @justinofclark.bsky.social · 22/01/2024
Tangential to the day's awesomeness, saw this on Kotaku, and I swear, I never feel less connected to other gamers than I do hearing people hated Final Fantasy XV, for all these reasons, and this doesn't even mention the Florence + The Machine Stand By Me cover playing again over Prompto's photos.
kotaku.com
Eight Years Later, Final Fantasy's Best Ending Still Hits Hard
I've come up with a new recipe...for gut-punching heartache
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Clark With Me In Hell @justinofclark.bsky.social · 09/01/2024
Welp, new platform, let do this: Every year, I don't do a Game of the Year list. I do a video, set to some of my favorite film music that year. Here's 2023. Go watch. And maybe share it around.
youtu.be
THE 25 BEST GAMES OF 2023: A Video Countdown
Edited by Justin Clark (writer @ Slant Magazine, Gamespot)Donate to David Ehrlich's Gofundme to support the Palestine Children's Relief Fund:https://www.gofu...
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Jean Claude Canned Ham @kungfucornelius.bsky.social · 08/11/2023
#N7Day
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Claire Lower @clairelower.bsky.social · 27/10/2023
end of an era 🫡😭 lifehacker.com/lifehackers-best-foo…
lifehacker.com
I'll Take the Check, When You Have a Moment
Eight years, five EICs, four corporate owners, at least as many CEOs, and two union contract negotiations later, I’m moving on.
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Stew Smith @stewbiedoo.bsky.social · 06/11/2023
I have to take the small, comforting victories where I can these days.
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Julie Lynn @bellafortunate.bsky.social · 06/11/2023
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 08/10/2023
great setting. if your timeline is full of replies to people you dont like or dont want to see then turn this sucker on in settings.
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Austin Tichenor @austintichenor.bsky.social · 08/10/2023
I wrote about some of my favorite Shakespeare ghosts for the Folger Shakespeare Library. Which are yours?
folger.edu
"Haunt me still": Shakespeare's ghosts | Folger Shakespeare Library
Austin Tichenor explores the powerful theatricality of Shakespeare's ghosts, among whom the most famous is probably Hamlet's father.
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Jean Claude Canned Ham @kungfucornelius.bsky.social · 08/10/2023
Question FOR A FRIEND: If you use a portapotty at a festival and that blue stuff splashes up onto your person, is there some shot you can take or some process you need to undergo in order to disinfect your butt meat?
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the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 21/09/2023
This meal just cost me $78 at Newark Airport. This is why Americans think the economy is terrible.
Kaonashi’s meal in Spirited Away
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Jean Claude Canned Ham @kungfucornelius.bsky.social · 21/09/2023
@jakeplissken.bsky.social Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?
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the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 15/09/2023
the vince mcmahon meme of escalating reactions. he’s mildly impressed by “wolverine calls you bub,” he’s definitely into “rogue calls you sugah.” he’s close to losing it at “nightcrawler calls you mein freund.” and at the galaxy brain freak out one it says “magneto removes your visor.” because he looks like scott summers without the visor! i made this meme a year or so ago and it’s probably the most viral thing i’ve ever done.
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 15/09/2023
repost if you're the fucker
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Jean Claude Canned Ham @kungfucornelius.bsky.social · 09/09/2023
Half Man. Half Machine. Half Hobo. All Cop. Hobocop's Prime Directives: "Serve the public food you made on your trash barrel grill" "Protect your bindle from robbers" "Uphold your pants unless you're peein' on a wall"
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𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗟 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗡 @outlawvern.bsky.social · 05/09/2023
You know how it is when you get wounded and expect to die but locals nurse you back to health and accept you as one of their own and you start a new life but then some shit goes down and the only thing you have to contribute is badass blackops wristbreaking moves. THE EQUALIZER 3.
outlawvern.com
The Equalizer 3 | VERN'S REVIEWS on the FILMS of CINEMA
THE EQUALIZER 3 is another fine entry in Academy Award winner Denzel Washington’s only ongoing franchise. It has a very different setting than part 1 or part
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 07/09/2023
doctor told me today that it is in fact extremely easy to kill me in a way that matters
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Stew Smith @stewbiedoo.bsky.social · 06/09/2023
I wrote about The Equalizer 3 and how the series at large is an interesting juxtaposition between the moral grounding Denzel Washington presents versus the fist-pumping violence his character (reluctantly) perpetuates.
kltv.com
The Stew Review: Denzel Washington brings moral grounding to Equalizer 3′s violence
It’s difficult to think of another action film franchise that so starkly puts its protagonist at odds against what we know he’s there to do.
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Jean Claude Canned Ham @kungfucornelius.bsky.social · 27/08/2023
I think I’m going to start going to therapy. Nothing is wrong, I just want the opportunity to lay on a couch in the middle of a work day.
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Jean Claude Canned Ham @kungfucornelius.bsky.social · 25/08/2023
“It was a perfect jail cell. They gave me a harmonica because not many people know this and the liberal media won’t tell you, I am a great harmonica player, the best harmonica player. No one knows harmonicas like Trump. No one has done more for the harmonica industry than me.”
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Babyrose @babyrose.bsky.social · 23/08/2023
a short story
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Charlotte Clymer @charlotteclymer.bsky.social · 23/08/2023
"We're not saying he's dead, but we are saying gravity is a motherfucker." -- every news org right now
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Josh Fruhlinger @jfruh.bsky.social · 23/08/2023
"i never thought the leopards would arrange for ME to die in a dramatic 'accident'," sobs person who failed to finish coup against the leopards who arrange for people to die in dramatic "accidents" regime
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Spooky Sammi Skeletons @froondingloom.bsky.social · 22/08/2023
A text box that would appear in the game CASTLEVANIA II which would normally read "WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A CURSE" but in this humorous instance reads "P DECENT NIGHT TK HAVE A CURSE TBH"
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borats of canada @forpush.bsky.social · 22/08/2023
Yeah fuck buses
A sign saying “everyone welcome” and another sign saying “except buses”
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Clark With Me In Hell @justinofclark.bsky.social · 21/08/2023
DID YOU KNOW: If one Saturday night, you go see Ghost/Amon Amarth, then the very next night you go see Lorna Shore, Mastodon, and Gojira--the latter involving getting in not one but two Walls of Death-+all of your muscles will want to slough off your skeleton like a melted Klondike bar? It's true.
A rainbow logo from the 1980s NBC "The More You Know" PSA campaigns.
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Tenebrad @bradislove.bsky.social · 14/08/2023
They put up a Mario themed training display at work warning against phone scammers and Yoshi the fraud gets funnier to me every time I walk past him
Yoshi the dinosaur next to the word "Fraud!"
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lukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 03/07/2023
[just meeting a new group of people] My brain: say something cool and different Me: HOW YA'LL GOT?? Brain: nice
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