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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth

@jesusandteeth.bsky.social
320 followers 255 following 453 posts

Satire and Sarcastic, my quirky characters go on adventures in replies and posts. Please dont take anything here seriously. Autistic af Not selling anything. Here for laughs! (FYI: Images are AI generated for those who wish not to follow AI accounts)

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Christopher Webb @cwebbonline.com · 02/09/2025
New York does not miss. The bleach did it for me. 😭
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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 03/08/2025
Put on a weighted blanket and immediately understood how mashed potatoes feel when the gravy hits.
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Alt National Park Service @altnps.bsky.social · 15/06/2025
From coast to coast, city streets to small town squares, you showed up. And it mattered. Honored to announce: 12.1 million in attendance.
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Kamy Lauw @mylauw.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
Ignorants... #Resist
Map with borders of Mexico before 1821...
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The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
BORDER PATROL: “Are you an 🇺🇸 citizen?” 🔥 NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN: “FIRST ONES. We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us… what are you? You’re not first born. You’re not from this f*ckin’ land. Punk-as* b*tches.”
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
via Benedicto.Uribe on TikTok
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contrails —— ✈️ @contrails.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
Obama is the best of ‘em!
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LorennaCleary.bsky.social @lorennacleary.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
Dallas turned out with at least 10,000 marching for #NoKingsDay
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
No Kings Protest- Lenexa, KS
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
No kings protests across America
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Lynda Carter @lyndacarter.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
Reminder that I AM LATINA AND PROUD. I am the product of immigration - my grandmother was undocumented and entered the country from Mexico as a baby. My mother was a fierce, gorgeous Latina woman of Mexican and Spanish descent.
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
I gotta watch what I saw about chewing ice for my anemia 😂 I exclaimed loudly to my partner, in public- “GOD I LOVE ICE!” After crunching some, and the people next to me snapped their heads around and looked at me in horror. It finally clicked and I said “THE FROZEN WATER! NOT THAT ICE!” 🥴😂😂😂
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Doyle’s Halloween Music Institute @doyleinstitute.bsky.social · 09/06/2025
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Art Candee 🍿🥤 @artcandee.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
Kamala Harris on “the big, beautiful bill:” “It’s an agenda...a narrow, self-serving vision of America...where they punish truth tellers, favor loyalists, profit from their power, and leave everyone else to fend for themselves.” Nailed it! 🔥
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Alex Tomlinson @alextomlinson.com · 26/05/2025
Designed and crafted a paper moth lamp!
Orange glowing paper lamp made from wood and risograph paper prints featuring silhouettes of moth species from large to small nested and overlapping. The moth species are Cecropia, Luna, Isabella Tiger, and Rosy Maple.
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Alt National Park Service @altnps.bsky.social · 26/05/2025
Today, we honor the service members who gave their lives for this country. We’ll be posting less so our team, and all of you, can take time to reflect, remember, and spend the day with loved ones. We’ll only post if truly needed.
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
We should call Pope Leo XIV “Al Ca-pope”
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
We should call Pope Leo XIV “Al Ca-pope
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Doug Gordon @brooklynspoke.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
The rats have chosen a new pope.
Steam rising from orange pipes on a Manhattan Avenue.
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
Robert Prevost, first American Pope! He’s taking the name Leo XIV. From Chicago!
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 07/05/2025
From now on I’m gonna make new friends by saying “can our mental illnesses play together?”
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Princess of Ely @princessofely.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
I’m pretty sure we’ve reached a moment where we should be throwing all the tea in the harbor🧐.
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Todders @todders707.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
It’s an ongoing class warfare. Certain elites are entitled to privileges, hyper pleasuring meanwhile, poor and working class people need to do the cutting back.
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Peter Manseau @petermanseau.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
Star Wars Intro Scroll

Episode IV
It Was All So Stupid

Seriously, you would not believe how stupid it was. Every day, unrelentingly, just the dumbest stuff by the absolute worst people. And what made it worse was knowing that we’d brought this on ourselves.
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
Act your wage.
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Gail @grannylib-51.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
Legend has it the bird technically declared war on Denmark.
Andrew Jackson's parrot was temporarily instated as President of the United states when President Jackson got lost in a corn maze.
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
I don’t think Republicans can afford to “own the libs” anymore. They’re gonna have to rent.
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
The invention of the shovel was truly groundbreaking
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Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
Warnock: I hear people attack poor people and act like it’s a crime to be poor, rather than to recognize it’s criminal for so many people to be poor. They do all of this in the name of Jesus… Jesus is the biggest victim of identity theft in the United States
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God @thegodshow.com · 27/04/2025
If your vote threatens someone's right to exist, then yeah I judge you based on your vote.
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Dermot Ward @chizmund.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
Hope this is how the conclave announces it
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Mark Chadbourn @chadbourn.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
At this juncture I’d like to point out: * we’re on the brink of a golden age of medical healing * there’s enough money in the world to solve every problem in the world * a united approach could stop the climate crisis But a small group of sociopaths seeking personal power are going to throw it away.
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🌊🏄BlueWaveSurfer🏄🌊 @bluewavesurfer.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
😜
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Andrew Weinstein @andrewjweinstein.com · 26/04/2025
If deporting US citizen children with cancer isn’t your redline, it’s time to reassess your priorities.
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Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
Happy #IndieBookstoreDay everyone!!!
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Christen Rexing, PhD, MPH @christenrexing.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
Happy Saturday!
A drawing of a crow in a dress stirring a pot. 

Caption: I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.
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🗽LOLGOP🗽 @lolgop.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
If you think fertilized eggs have rights but 2-year-old US citizens with cancer don’t, stop pretending your concerns are “the children.”
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Bradley Whitford @bradleywhitford.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
If you support the deportation of children with cancer and the vilification of immigrants and you believe that the New Testament is the Word of God, get ready to fry in hell.
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
The only South African person I want talking about politics is Dave Matthews
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Joe Walsh @walshfreedom.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
To everyone shouting “no one is above the law” referring to that Milwaukee judge: We have a criminal in the White House. A guy who’s proven to be utterly lawless. And you’re perfectly fine with that. So take your “no one is above the law” bullshit and shove it up your ass.
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RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
moira rose album covers: thread
Moira Rose featured on the cover of Abbey Road by The Beatles.
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
Fandoms are just mini cults
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WeRateDogs @weratedogs.com · 24/04/2025
This is Tuna. You have once again taken him to the vet instead of the park. Fool him once, shame on you. Fool him twice, even more shame on you. 13/10 (IG: tunathekahuna)
a brown and white bulldog puppy sits on a counter. the computer monitor, pamphlets and model of an animal skull in the background tell us he's in a vet's office. the puppy is hunched over and begrudgingly looking over at you with an expression of disdain.
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Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
Maddow: 88% of the country says no, no, he cannot defy a supreme court ruling. Only 9% say yes he can. And you know, it's not the same thing. But I should mention that 9% is also the proportion of Americans who told yougov this week that they have a favorable view of the black plague
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Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
@girlsbegoin

ya'll are using your crystals so wrong. put them in a sock and start swinging
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
RIP Pope Francis
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
DAMMIT @God WE SAID PRESIDENCY NOT PAPACY. GO TALK TO YOUR DAD RN @jesushchr1st.bsky.social
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miss piggy from the muppets is holding a green pillow .
ALT: miss piggy from the muppets is holding a green pillow .
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The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth @jesusandteeth.bsky.social · 19/04/2025
Someone at the protests gave me this bracelet 😂 Forget me nots Daisy Tulip Read the first letters 😂 #handsoff #handsoff2025
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