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Jake

@jakesalterego.bsky.social
681 followers 496 following 3.1K posts

Hip to it, man. In the groove.

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Reposted by Jake
Olivia Messer @oliviamesser.bsky.social · 3h
This 33-year-old nurse told the FBI she knew she was “going to set him free” after border patrol agents brought in a man whose face was bloodied and seriously injured. She treated him and helped him escape, and she faces charges now. He got away, and they never relocated him.
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 10h
Lol no
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En Sabah Neurodivergent @spearhafoc.bsky.social · 13h
Vincent Van Gogh from the Doctor Who episode 'Vincent and the Doctor' crying as he has his modern legacy spelled out to him by Bill Nighy.
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Ned Resnikoff @resnikoff.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I think about this interview with the distinguished philosopher Conan O'Brien a lot. I actually think this is a healthy way to live your life! www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/a...
Is this how you want to go out, with a show that gets smaller and smaller until it’s gone?

Maybe that’s O.K. I think you have more of a problem with that than I do. [Laughs.] At this point in my career, I could go out with a grand, 21-gun salute, and climb into a rocket and the entire Supreme Court walks out and they jointly press a button, I’m shot up into the air and there’s an explosion and it’s orange and it spells, “Good night and God love.” In this culture? Two years later, it’s going to be, who’s Conan? This is going to sound grim, but eventually, all our graves go unattended.

You’re right, that does sound grim.

Sorry. Calvin Coolidge was a pretty popular president. I’ve been to his grave in Vermont. It has the presidential seal on it. Nobody was there. And by the way, I’m the only late-night host that has been to Calvin Coolidge’s grave. I think that’s what separates me from the other hosts.

I had a great conversation with Albert Brooks once. When I met him for the first time, I was kind of stammering. I said, you make movies, they live on forever. I just do these late-night shows, they get lost, they’re never seen again and who cares? And he looked at me and he said, [Albert Brooks voice] “What are you talking about? None of it matters.” None of it matters? “No, that’s the secret. In 1940, people said Clark Gable is the face of the 20th Century. Who [expletive] thinks about Clark Gable? It doesn’t matter. You’ll be forgotten. I’ll be forgotten. We’ll all be forgotten.” It’s so funny because you’d think that would depress me. I was walking on air after that.
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 14h
My eyeballs have a feature called Vinyl Mode. When I go into a record shop, my eyes go "this one looks fucking rad" and then I buy it
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 14h
Oh no, I just discovered there are alt text jokes in the Swan Boy comics. Guess I have to go back and re-read all of them again
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Heat (1995) @heatfilm1995.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I had coffee with McCauley half an hour ago!
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Cullen @hellocullen.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
America hates Lose Girl, the woman famous for losing!
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Nigella Lawson @nigella.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Thank YOU. I believe profoundly that the only correct response to pleasure is gratitude rather than guilt
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Then read a fucking newspaper, man. Why are you reading Batman at all
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Mikhail Gorbaechev @mikhailgorbaechev.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
GODDAMN IT THIS IS AMERICA
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Moongolfer @moongolfer.com · 28/09/2026
Will be sorry not to see him outside the Directors’ Entrance having a sneaky puff on a cig before going in. He’ll be missed. Decent fella #ncfc
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Hanne Østli Jakobsen @hannejakobsen.bsky.social · 21/11/2024
Old tweet from march 2023, me: computer say you are alive and hungry. Computer: I am alive and hungry. Me (loading single bullet into gun): may god forgive us for stealing the divine fire of creation
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Cmdr. Overbite @cmdroverbite.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I am Old and 99% of my music consumption is Records That Have Been Put Onto My Excellent Rectangle
Tom put all my records into this rectangle.
The songs just play one right after the other.
This is an excellent rectangle.
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Holy shit. Just read Double Indemnity for the first time, and the original ending is *dark*
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Headliner of the last street fest of the year in my sleepy suburb opens up with a ripping Baker Street cover. Hell yeah
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
*watches Charlize Theron kill a man with her high heel* Lord, I see what you've done for others...
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uel @greaterrealityarea.net · 25/09/2026
DYLAN: "Zoe. I'm at the field hospital. It's... not looking good." ZOE: "Shit. Is there anyone alive?" DYLAN: "There's someone here, at the front desk." ZOE: "And the staff?" DYLAN: "One doctor. He's okay. Just distressed." ZOE: "And the civilians?" DYLAN: "Only one. A woman on a bed. She's crying."
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Jessica Ritchey @jmritchey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
That Kelly Marie Tran should be allowed to kick JJ Abrams square in the balls anytime they run into each other in public.
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The work, which has not been peer-reviewed youtu.be/6vo4Fdf7E0w?...
youtu.be
The Good Place - Attempt to murder Janet
YouTube video by letsbepandas
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
the "iced coffee at a job interview" discussion is obviously stupid but also a great representation of the fact that every single HR person/recruiter has their own different made up rules for candidates and all of them think they are absolutely correct
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The horrifying realization that that means he *wants* that haircut
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Felt good on this one www.maptap.gg September 26 98🔥 99🔥 99🔥 81✨ 100🎯 Final score: 938
maptap.gg
🎯MapTap Daily Geography Game
Play MapTap - the daily geography game! Find 5 world locations on a 3D globe with historical stories. Free browser-based daily game for geography lovers.
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Tom @tomel.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Enrico Fermi on December 2nd, 1942:
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Matthew R Francis @bowlerhatscience.org · 26/09/2026
MY DESTINY
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Jessica Ritchey @jmritchey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Always funny to be reminded of The OA, "what if you could stop a mass shooting by praise dancing?" and you weren't immediately picked up by the scruff of the neck and thrown out of the pitch meeting. The "money is fake" years of streaming saw some things.
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Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Fuck ChatGPT flyers. The future is broadsheets.
A crowded broadsheet with way too many fonts. It says:
Forget ChatGPT Flyers
Say it with 
Broadsheets
Unlimited fonts
Stretch them
Or cram a really long sentence into one line for no good reason
No whitespace
Mix capital and lowercase
Pointing hands
(They're called manicules!)
Don't be left behind
Broadsheets are the future
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Live Tapes @livetapes.heads.social.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
Catherine Wheel @ Denver, CO 1995-08-01 ijwthstd.blogspot.com/2026/09/cathe…
ijwthstd.blogspot.com
Catherine Wheel @ Denver, CO 1995-08-01
Courtesy of https://thatsthethingaboutthat.blogspot.com https://pixeldrain.com/u/yvq7Br4Z Catherine Wheel Bluebird Theatre Denver CO (USA)...
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Oh to live in a world where people are instead obsessed with Deadwood, sticking it to the powermad cocksuckers, and making something good out of this combative earth
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the beggars out of here getter @milesklee.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Threads is Chernobyl levels of “nobody is talking about this” for things that either everyone already knows or that have not even a glancing connection with reality
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Listen I do not think that evilness can be sussed out just from looking at someone's face, but if you were to show me that sketch of Jennifer and ask me what she believes in, I would say that she thinks meek democrats are trying to trans children
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Jessica Ritchey @jmritchey.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
The perfect bookend to that whole era of Obama-era culture was when they took Sackler blood money to let us know that Picasso was still an asshole. What an egregious phony.
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Preeti Chhibber @runwithskizzers.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
all these people sound like this:
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
If you've been reading every day for 50 years, it actually sounds like you're getting exactly what you want out of their coverage
Two bitches saying exaaaaaaaactly 

First post from Ned Resnikoff says My hot take on the NYT list of the century's top 100 TV shows is that I wish the biggest newspaper in the United States was investing more in serious arts criticism and less in listicles.

Second post from cmonagan@bsky.social says Yes, I have read the Times every day for 50 years and have watched TV nearly every night for decades yet haven't read a single word of this stupid Top 100. I might have bitten for a Top 10 or even Top 20.
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Cowbo Bebo at his Computo @dochaus.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
RIP to Tilly Norwood, who was accidentally uploaded into a Quake 3 Arena match and gibbed by a rocket launcher instead of the SFM machinima she was supposed to appear in. She is survived by her closest kin, Gal Gadot.
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Man I hope Democrats are champing at the bit to be the "Elizabeth Warren just murdered Michael Bloomberg onstage" about this guy
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Dril tweet

the jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask & im wearing the joker makeup underneath it. everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
This is such Jason Mendoza energy
static.klipy.com
Jason Mendoza from The Good Place smiles
ALT: Jason Mendoza from The Good Place smiles
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
My Dinner with Loran: Spiritual Rebirth through Art in the Interregnum Outer Rim
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Rob Friedman @pitchingninja.com · 22/09/2026
Jason Benetti gets absolutely roasted by his own production crew with the camera cut after his Austro-Turkish War reference. 🤣
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Apologies for posting from a zombie ad-riddled site, but this remains a foundational text deadspin.com/who-is-we-18...
deadspin.com
Deadspin | Who Is We?
Deadspin | Who Is We?
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pennsylvan(ian) @illpod.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
imagine being 40 points underwater on "people wanting you to stay alive"
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I saw these posts last night and went to bed so angry I had angry dreams and woke up even angrier. I blocked them immediately and still just stewed all day
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Former Univision and G/O Media property says terrible owners are good
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
There is an entire ecosystem of racist fascists who are salivating at the opportunity to pay you money to make Birth of a Nation
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Some pretty non-obscure choices but I felt really good about this www.maptap.gg September 19 100🎯 99🎯 95🏅 97🔥 99🎯 Final score: 977
maptap.gg
🎯MapTap Daily Geography Game
Play MapTap - the daily geography game! Find 5 world locations on a 3D globe with historical stories. Free browser-based daily game for geography lovers.
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Jokes on you, 95% of the responses to this post are being written from a bathroom
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Stephanie 🍉 @ageofoddish.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
mmygod
the slut gnomes of false berlin jeopardy bluesky posttoday's jeopardy categories. the last 2 are "false berlin" and "bizarre little men"
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Shana @shanamd.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I am SORRY for sharing something that was posted on the other place, but this is too good.
The future pope at a party with a caption “they don’t know I’m the future pope”
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Jake @jakesalterego.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Hey I know we all love Stanley Tucci, but why the fuck is he blurbing and promoting Anthony Scaramucci's book
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