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GuardsmanJones ♨️

@guardsmanjones.bsky.social
588 followers 922 following 2.7K posts

24. Line cook by day, degen shitposter by night. Aspiring Bushido Lib. Bengals fan.

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Reposted by GuardsmanJones ♨️
Too Big to Fail @toobigtofail.bsky.social · 2h
As both a certified CAR GUY and an economist-ish, I cannot imagine a headline more designed to drive me, personally, insane. This "flying car" technology is neither new nor novel. It is not practical and would not sell. Let me tell a story of actually useful car tech that never made it to market.
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Took a trip back to my hometown for a friends wedding, went to a bookstore that had a local authors section that was very prominent. I wasn't expecting to see how much the covers, and seemingly even the text, was AI-generated. One guy wrote a Batman-but-hot story where the main protagonist-
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Seth Skorkowsky @sskorkowsky.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
In 1953 the Martian Invasion began in Linda Rosa California. While their technology was advanced, they were also super-duper tiny. A group of patrons from a local tiki bar fought them off, tearing the Martian ships apart with their bare hands, and saving humanity. We thank you, heroes of Linda Rosa.
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yixura @yixura.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
like i know everything is gender but i didnt expect 'skaters being instilled with the instinct to protect the goalie bc he's uniquely valuable and vulnerable' to cross wires with toxic chivalry/masculinity and accidentally cause Goalie Forcefem but alright. i need to go lie down.
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stovey @doorhook.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
blocking him isn’t enough i need to watch his hairline recede
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Bill Kristol @billkristolbulwark.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Tom Homan: “I think September is going to be the highest deportations of any month in the history of ICE. We are removing and arresting more people right now than we ever have in the history of this nation. Wait until you see what we do next year.” ABOLISH ICE. www.thebulwark.com/p/doral-flor...
thebulwark.com
Trump Turned His Beloved Golf Hub Into a Ghost Town
In Doral, there are empty tables, shuttered businesses, and families struggling to survive after their loved ones have been thrown in detention.
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
me watching a pornhub tutorial on how to insert a thumbdrive:
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Magic: The Gathering @magic.wizards.com · 02/10/2026
Coming up next week on Saturday, October 10th on twitch.tv/magic, we're hosting our second fundraising stream for @translifeline.org! Stay tuned next week for more info on how to donate and what compleatly awesome things we're doing to support this great cause!
Promo image for the Wizards of the Coast x Trans Lifeline fundraising stream, starting 10AM Pacific through 5PM pacific on twitch.tv/magic. More info on how to donate coming next week.
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
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Reposted by GuardsmanJones ♨️
Joey Politano🏳️‍🌈 @josephpolitano.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Official monthly data is in, and US solar power generation hit a new record high, up 21% compared to this time last year!
a graph of US monthly solar generation
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I usually try to explain it like this: picture the human pet guy as Zohran Mamdani. Now imagine they're Finnish. Doesn't look so much like Evo Moment 37 was caused by Greek gods playing Bubsy 3D now, does it?
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ciel ✨ | firmament @konkondragon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
if trump goes through with his diesel export threats, my country is in bad shit. And I'm in "if I lose power to my apartment, I might be in actual life threatening heatstroke danger" territory. There's legitimately a small, but nonzero, chance that this kills me.
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Reconstructionist @unavaleable.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
could we please have some normal bisexuals in congress
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I'd be more concerned if my pilot wasn't a furry tbqh
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Faine Greenwood @faineg.com · 22/09/2026
"We were letting actual 8th graders sneak into our wild drug and sex parties at our Silicon Valley AI group house" is the most eyebrow-raising quote among many from that New York Times piece, IMO. www.nytimes.com/2026/09/21/t...
The house quickly became a hub for events. Eric Zhu, 19, a tech entrepreneur, said he used to sneak into parties there when he was about 13. No one checked anyone’s age, he said, and “it was pretty crazy.”
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OrcGirlBoss 🐇🏹 @orc.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Gas high
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g0m @g0m.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
A world where a twist ending is repurposed as a video title. where a thing's climax has been removed, leaving an advertisment for the gap where it used to be. such things are commonplace in. the twilight zone
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Existential despair hits so different on a graveyard shift
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Bill Kristol @billkristolbulwark.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
"My sense [is] that Democrats can win west of the Mississippi. Not just in Iowa and Texas. I wonder if the blue wave couldn’t also wash over to the Great Plains, to Kansas and Nebraska and South Dakota...Wave years, plus good candidates, can do surprising things." www.thebulwark.com/p/bill-smoke...
thebulwark.com
Bill Smokes the Hopium Pipe in the Land of Corn
How much ground can Dems gain west of the Mississippi?
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
i would be the Gritty of DMing Otherkin BPD hoes
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Will Stancil @whstancil.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I strongly believe this site hates ICE enough to have her criminal defense costs paid by morning. If 2% of my followers gave a dollar each, she’s covered
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Yes Mr. President, that's great Mr. President you should go on television and say that more Mr. President
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Arif Hasan, but NFL🔨⚒️🛠️ @arif.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
WHAT
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James @gravitysra1nbow.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
It can only good happen. It can only good happen. It can only good happen. It can only good happen. It can only good happen. othermeans.substack.com/p/the-wheels...
othermeans.substack.com
The Wheels Are Coming Off
It Can Only Good Happen
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
The greatest Bengals player on the field rn is Baker Mayfield
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Yes, mechas exist to satisfy an Otherkin mindset.
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Live Laugh Lurk @sallllltywater.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
this damn linework finally done
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Michael Paulauski♨️ @mike10010100.com · 12/09/2026
I wanna make sure people understand the mendacity of this. Because below is what Becerra *actually* said. Erin lied.
Watts read the current law to Becerra, who ultimately supported the state law.
"I'm not interested as governor in having someone be bullied or someone discriminated because of who they are, simply for that reason," Becerra said. "And if the rules allow an individual to play in that sport, those are the rules and you should abide by them."
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Live Laugh Lurk @sallllltywater.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
He gets the premium seat
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
the duality of man
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Okay I looked it up. “submissive and breedable” is a bigoted slur against Fremen folks.
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Yes, poppers exist to satisfy a Boer mindset.
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Rewatching Iron Man and Iron Man 2, and its crazy how these are just alt-universe Tom Clancy plots
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Secretary of Defense Rock @sodrock.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I don’t like bringing the personal into the posting but if you feel comfortable publicly commenting (nicely, no fed posting) on the “let’s make employers pay 100K for H1-B visas” rule proposed by DHS, I’d appreciate it. My significant other would be effected by this and I love her very much
regulations.gov
Regulations.gov
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Regime Accountant, CPA ☠️🎢 @regimecpa.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Zoomers would rather accept a YouTube sponsorship from BetterHelp than go to therapy
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Hijacker: Everyone stop talking. I am armed and I am taking control of this plane. Guy from the Netherlands: Wow, in Netherlands we just purchase a plane if we want one. But typically we will bike somewhere Guy who has been to Japan once: In Japan planes are rarely hijacked. It's a cultural taboo
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Ngl I'm not sure I'd ever get another dog ever again, but I do sincerely love my roommates dawgs
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morrowind.txt @morrowind-txt.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Yes. Thank you, cheesed buger. Thank you for healing me.
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The Dark Prince of Donair @erisianrite.com · 24/08/2026
No shade to OP but man this is a bad headline. Being able to make waste plastic into nutrients is *insane* and if it scales (huge if) would help on so many environmental fronts.
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User with this avatar just got blocked @avijustgotblocked.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
An account with this avatar was just blocked.
Avatar of an account that was just blocked.
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Fubar 🇨🇦 @captainfubar.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
The Undersecretary of State tried to provide "Data Republican" a MAGA influencer with materials on Cuba to disseminate to help manufacture consent but because everyone involved is extremely stupid DR interpreted the information as the "deep state" and now the undersecretary had to spill the beans
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Party rocking really do just be woke gender binarism
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Ryan Moulton @moultano.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
There is actually only one true spreadsheet person. The rest of us are just posers. www.thisiscolossal.com/2017/12/tats...
thisiscolossal.com
Meet Tatsuo Horiuchi, the 77-Year-Old Artist Who 'Paints' Japanese Landscapes With Excel
For over 15 years, Japanese artist Tatsuo Horiuchi has rendered the subtle details of mountains, cherry blossoms, and dense forests with the most unlikely tool: Microsoft Excel. The 77-year-old illust...
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
>Leavitt >Leaves it
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rev. howard arson @theophite.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
ALL HOLES FILLED: pothole repair at RECORD levels NO LOADS REFUSED: large-item trash collection finally working and the payoff?
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
What the hell is the non-binary version of moid/foid? Toid? Thoid?
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in the stripped club, straight up morgin’ it @apoapsis.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
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GuardsmanJones ♨️ @guardsmanjones.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
what
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