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Grimking

@grimkingdom.bsky.social
1.2K followers 519 following 1.4K posts

I’m a little tea pot.

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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I have a condition called iSatDownWithoutTheRemote-itis
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Hear me out: a glory hole that dispenses your favorite color of M&M.
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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
*is born* Well, this is awkward *dies eventually* That was weird
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Laura Haynes👩‍🔬⚾️🐾💙 @drlaurahaynes.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Good morning 🌞 Is anyone interested?
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Be the butthole you want to see in the world.
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I hope this new iPhone has enough storage for all my accidental home screen screenshots
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
i used to think i was misunderstood but it turns out everyone understood me just fine. im just weird
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Wouldn’t mind being a girl’s short king like oh you need your shoes tied, I gotchu boo
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Hello, my name is Los and today marks the first time I referenced Christmas this year by saying stocking stuffer
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
“Get a load of this guy” is quite the compliment at an orgy
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Boss: Did you Copilot? Me: Shirley you can’t be serious
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
My 600-lb Thigh.
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Hahahaha!
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Is that your thigh?
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tomwellborn3rd @wellborn.net · 10/09/2026
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
stare at me longer, creepy stranger
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I bet that phone makes for a great chip clip
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Unfolding my iPhone to show you a Meta Glasses recording of my final divorce proceedings
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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
The thing I don’t get about the UFC is, why are two guys who don’t wear pants fighting to win a belt?
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
me: one pill please pill bottle: 37 me: no just one please pill bottle: 37 me: please only one pi- pill bottle: SILICA PACKET
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Poll: While I’m on a beach vacation with my BFF, who will I miss more? A. My pup B. My husband, who already knows the answer
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
This day in history. 2002. At a Beverly Hills hotel astronaut Buzz Aldrin punched an annoying moon landing denier in the face hard enough to lift the mug off the ground. The mug tried to press charges but the judge nominated Aldrin for a Humanitas Award instead.
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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 09/09/2026
I’m going on vacation tomorrow so I won’t be able to log on more than 30-40x a day it’s going to be so hard
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Mechanic: your brakes are shot Me: wild, i don’t even remember being shot at
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
If I was parent of twins I would make them rap battle for my attention on a daily basis
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Calling it a “sex drive” feels generous. At this point mine’s more of an abandoned hooptie sitting on cinder blocks.
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God @thegodshow.com · 09/09/2026
Trey Parker & Matt Stone announce that ‘SOUTH PARK’ will be renamed to ‘SOUTH AMERICA’. “Inspired by the bravery & patriotism of Apple & Google, we are changing the name of South Park to SOUTH AMERICA. We especially want to thank our parent company Paramount — a Skydance Capitulation.”
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
A pizza place with free wine called Jesus Crust
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Tried putting my phone on DND and now I’m a virgin again
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Me: *says some pretty fucked up shit Them: you couldn’t possibly mean that Narrator: oh, but he did
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
😘
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
cloudy with a chance of fuck all
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
what do you say we turn this pornhub into our porn home
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Do you floss before you brush or are you a psycho
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
bsky: the sit to pee app
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Chris Klitzing 🦋🇨🇦🇺🇦 @hosea6.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
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Cranky Cracker @timmyturmoil.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Spotted in Seattle
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Leah Reich @leahreich.com · 31/08/2026
I’m sure most of you aren’t watching the US Open right now which means you missed this instantly iconic moment, now available in gif form
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Gabriel Basso, yes.
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
I didn't want to do this, but you've left me no choice. Effective immediately, all new tattoos require my prior approval. Submissions must include photos of existing tattoos, available real estate, and the proposed design. Thank you for your cooperation.
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Mark Hamill @markhamillofficial.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
SHOUT-OUT to Political Cartoonist extraordinaire & Member of the Order of Canada Michael de Adder, who routinely does a far better job of holding this administration accountable than the corporate media. Thank you for your attention to his brilliant satirical wit! 🙏 (also: 🤣)
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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
if they didn’t want me to put my penis in it why did they call it cocktail sauce
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
be the sloth you want to see in the world
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
there
Screenshot of Lake Ontario but it says Loch Himup
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
THE GRIM DOCTRINE OF INSECT RELATIONS: Found peacefully in my house: diplomatic extraction and safe relocation outside. Accidentally hitchhikes home with me: repatriation, when possible. Lands on me: violation of sovereign airspace. Bites me: Article 5 invoked. Darwinism takes over.
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
I’m not a violent person but I will cut a bitch out of my life
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
thighs are the windows to the hole
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Grimking @grimkingdom.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
S2 Jen Shah is diabolical.
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
If I were an influencer I’d say something like: plates are overrated, and then hold up a taco in my hand
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
a green onion is just a regular onion that’s jealous it doesn’t get sautéed
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