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Greg Stolze

@gregstolze.bsky.social
3K followers 404 following 9.6K posts

Metafictive anti-realist, apparently. 1/3 of LUDONARRATIVE DISSIDENTS. You can get a ton of free fiction I got paid to write from www.gregstolze.com. Surely I — the smartest frog in the pond! — can carry this scorpion without getting stung.

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Reposted by Greg Stolze
wood soup enthusiast @sweetnawful.bsky.social · 6h
you gotta get in on this
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 6h
Y'all know there's just 3 days left on the PREMIERE #TTRPG of sinners racing in Hell, right? www.kickstarter.com/projects/gre... If you could have been one of the first 200 people to get #UnknownArmies... would you have done that?
kickstarter.com
THOMAS JEFFERSON'S SPEEDWAY HELL: Dangerous Playtest Edition
It's a tabletop RPG where sinners race through Hell to win brief moments of peace. It's handled with tremendous silliness.
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QuoProQuid @quoproquid.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
dark gritty santapunk world where the Great Powers of Europe both mandate celebration of Christmas and encourage their subjects to be as naughty as possible to preserve unlimited access to coal and continued industrialization.
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Dennis B. Hooper @dennisbhooper.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
(Screenshot of Amazon review)

Five stars - Verified Purchase
Spider dreams guaranteed
Got these for a transatlantic flight from Seattle. Took effect about 20 minutes from consumption. I slept for about 4 hours and continued to use them to adjust to the timezone change. Every night I had the same dream about a spider wrapping me in a web very tightly and speaking backwards. It seemed very scared and was furious I could not understand what it was trying to say. 20 years passed in the dream world and eventually the spider and I became close friends and four years later we were married. Understandably our differences were too much and our relationship fell apart from the inside. My infidelity was the last straw and we never recovered from the betrayal. I would always wake up write before we signed the divorce papers. I had this same dream every night for 6 days. Great product. Highly recommend.
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Ainsley S @americanbeetles.bsky.social · 13h
When you have a trombone and you’re about to make it everybody’s problem
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I noticed that the highest tiers on this were all sold out, so I added five more at the top and ten more at the signed zine level. Hope that’s something y’all want! www.kickstarter.com/projects/gre...
kickstarter.com
THOMAS JEFFERSON'S SPEEDWAY HELL: Dangerous Playtest Edition
It's a tabletop RPG where sinners race through Hell to win brief moments of peace. It's handled with tremendous silliness.
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Reposted by Greg Stolze
Nick Harkaway @nickharkaway.com · 29/09/2026
Today in "decisions in kerning"
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The Volatile Mermaid @ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Men, stop telling women you denounce sexual assault and start telling your male friends.
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catren parker dot come @jon-snow-420.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i had a dream the magnus archives did a spinoff where everything was the same except the first letters of everyone's name were swapped. sonathan jims, blartin mackwood, lurgen jeitner and so on. stimothy toker would be a pretty good username
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
(shakes head sadly at the brutal inequality of it all)
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Comics Covers @comicscovers.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Scary Tales 11 (3466)
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
No DIRECT reward. The indirect reward of "guys stop being disgusting, in front of you if nothing else" is a soft but beautiful gift.
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da share z0ne @dasharez0ne.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
DA CLINE - dashare.zone ADMIN
A SKLETEON ENTERING "DA CLINE Z0NE" WHERE EVERTHING GETS MORE EXPENSIVE , TECHNOLOGY GETS LESS USEFUL, THE PHONE RINGS AND A COMPUTER ANSWERS BUT NEVER SENDS YOU TO A PERSON OR A VOICE MAIL, YOUR DOCTER WHICH YOU CAN BARELY AFFORD TYPES YOUR PROBLEM'S INTO CHAT G.P.T, RANDOM ITEM'S SUDDENLY VERY EXPENSIVE, U CAN BARELY AFFORD TO DRIVE, AND THE WHOLE TIME EVERY ONE SAYS ACTUALLY DA CONOMY IS DOING GREAT, EVERY THING IS JUST MARGINALLY WORSE AND HARDER TO DO EVERY DAY, THE EARTHS PATTERNS ARE DISRUPTED AND IT HEATS AS YOUR BODY DOES FROM A VIRUS, ATTEMPTING TO SHED WHAT HAS MADE IT SICK , YOU AWAKE SWEATING FROM A DREAM YOU HAVE HAD BEFORE BUT CANNOT REMEMBER, RICH MEN APPEAR ON SCREENS TO TELL US HOW THERE GOING TO PUNISH US IN THE FUTURE, MORE AND MORE, BUT GUESS WHAT ??? IM STILL OUT HERE SMOCKEN FUCKEN WHEED AND KICKEN A$$$$ WITH MY ADD BLOCKER TURNED ALL THE WAY UP AND IM LISTENING TO MP3S I DOWNLOADED IN 1998 "THEY STILL WORK MOTHER FUCKER " AND U CAN STILL PLAY GRANT THEFT SAN ANDREAS NO NEED TO BUY THE NEW ONE , ALMOST FORGOT THE TEXT, FUCK IM RUNNING OUT OF ROOM IN HERE  , "I WOULDOF PREFERRED AN EMP, TOTAL DESTRUCTION OF ALL TECHNOLOGY, INSTEAD OF THE COMPUTER GETTING WORSE YEAR AFTER YEAR, AND YOU HAVE TO USE IT THE WHOLE TIME " REMEMBER EVERYONE HAS A HOME ADDRESS AND A NECK MADE OF SOFT FLESH , AND ALL FLESH MUST DECAY ONE DAY - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN
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Rory Blank @roryblank.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Introducing Gurpo
A drawing of a small blobby figure inside of an enclosure with string coming off it, with text saying "introducing Gurpo, the new wearable personal assistant. Gurpo is not a computer program, he's a real tiny guy who is trapped inside your medallion necklace. 
Gurpo hates you, but is incapable of doing anything about it, and he has to answer your questions or he gets electrocuted. It's non-lethal.
If you shake his enclosure hard enough, gurpo will throw up!"
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Started putting together another anthology like THE AMAZING THREE POUNT PATTERN-MATCHING MEATLOAF and realized, once again, that I have enough material for two anthologies.
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❀°。Der Siebenschläfer *.゚✿ ⋆ @sababausa.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
"The whole internet hates Dilkshake Muck, a loathesome bigot who loves misogyny. *5 seconds later* we regret to inform you Dilkshake Muck is assistant general counsel of the General Services Administration"
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Hell yes, more backers! But I still wanna see this hit 200 backers and/or $5K. IT’S A GOOD GAME, WELL-WRITTEN! I PROMISE! #ttrpg www.kickstarter.com/projects/gre...
kickstarter.com
THOMAS JEFFERSON'S SPEEDWAY HELL: Dangerous Playtest Edition
It's a tabletop RPG where sinners race through Hell to win brief moments of peace. It's handled with tremendous silliness.
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
That, and people with awful taste who own restaurants can create Uncanny Valley images of squamous and rugose cheeseburgers.
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 27/09/2026
[An edited comic panel (from Spider-Man and the X-Men #2 (2015)) of the humanoid pterosaur Sauron from X-Men speaking:]
"But I Don't Want To Build A Coalition. I Want To Dunk On The Outgroup"
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I INVOKE THE POWER OF #BOOKSKY! What's a good mystery for someone who loves Agatha Christie puzzlebox stuff... but not written by Christie?
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
POINS Let's beat him before his fucking whore. (Henry IV Part 2 Act 2 Scene 4)
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Dang, it used to be shitty parents had to wait until their child was born & had object permanence before their politics ruined the kid's life. MAHA has made the destruction of American children radically more efficient!
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Lizard @lizardky.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
They're taking away beef and beer. Everything the Republicans said Democrats would do, they're doing.
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
OK, whenever I watch a vijja on Discord I get hit with a Tom Tiffany ad and holy shit people, the contempt for #Wisconsin in the last one was INTENSE. It’s this beef-faced dude with bad grammar talking shit about David Crowley and all I could think was...
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
....some women would prefer the affair.
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 26/09/2026
"Macklemore is two weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon"

[Benjamin Netanyahu speaking at a United Nations General Assembly lectern.]
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 25/09/2026
olga (@NOTolgaa) on twitter: "if your leftist queer space leaves no room for me, the most mean aggressive annoying anti social person you can imagine so i can constantly make everyone walk on eggshells around me as a sign of some sort of moral superiority, is it really a safe space at all 😢"
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David Ho @davidho.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The techbros don't want you to see this trailer. Pass it on.
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
WEDNESDAY: yoga class THURSDAY: jujitsu class FRIDAY: (rest) SATURDAY: jujitsu class + flu shot + covid vax SUNDAY: I now know how Frankenstein's monster felt when the weather brought in big pressure drops
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
A football player says "glad you're here in the USA for football season, Junji Ito. Let me show you how to throw a perfect spiral." The football plater throws the ball. Ito is mesmerized. Spirals appear in his eyes and he sweats profusely. We zoom in on his face in an extreme closeup as the intensity of his terror increases.
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Feminize a band name: Baha Menstruation
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
In this LAST WEEK, can we find out which happens first? 1) 200 backers? 2) $5000? Let's learn! www.kickstarter.com/projects/gre...
kickstarter.com
THOMAS JEFFERSON'S SPEEDWAY HELL: Dangerous Playtest Edition
It's a tabletop RPG where sinners race through Hell to win brief moments of peace. It's handled with tremendous silliness.
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Reposted by Greg Stolze
jdrake3b.bsky.social @jdrake3b.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
And if not violence then maybe Role Playing Public Radio's actual play might do the trick: pca.st/episode/fadc...
pca.st
Thomas Jefferson’s Speedway Hell: A Cold Race in Hell
Certain damned souls in hell race each other for the amusement of the devils. The winner of each race wins a brief respite from their torment and should a winner earn enough respite, they can choose…
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Hourly Garth Marenghi's Darkplace @hourlydarkplace.bagpuss.org · 26/09/2026
Where's "he glided in, liquid smooth"?
10:26
S01E06 The Creeping Moss from the Shores of Shuggoth 4 March 2004
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
If you’re a #ttrpg #gamer who hasn’t backed my next game, maybe today’s update about violence can lure you in! www.kickstarter.com/projects/gre...
kickstarter.com
Update 3: ...so, what's Hell like, then? · THOMAS JEFFERSON'S SPEEDWAY HELL: Dangerous Playtest Edition
I've given a taste of the tone and the mechanics, so let's look at the setting today. I've divided perdition into the classic circles of Dante's poem, but mixed and modernized into something strange a...
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
"I Interviewed A Youth For A Job And The Insolent Whelp Met My Eyes Instead Of Meekly Averting His Gaze: One Brave CFO's True Story" See, I could write for the WSJ opinion page.
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Elizabeth Bear @matociquala.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Happy Stanislav Yevgrafovich Petrov Saves The World day to all who celebrate.
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Jamie Smart @jamiesmart.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Can’t eat a sandwich until you subscribe to sandwiches. Can’t eat today’s sandwich until it has applied daily sandwich updates. Sandwich now has adverts even though you paid for ad-free sandwich. Can pay again to have less sandwich adverts. Now you can eat the sandwich, but it’s smaller.
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C. S. E. Cooney @csecooney.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Supercute @wiswell.bsky.social story, THE LAST ADULT SUPERSTORE, in @omgjulia.bsky.social's WORLDS OF POSSIBILITY zine. www.juliarios.com/the-last-adu...
juliarios.com
The Last Adult Superstore: A Story by John Wiswell
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this. “The Last Adult Superstore” looked like a Costco, a football field-sized rectangle of a building with cheap white walls. If not for having their name ...
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Gamer beware...
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
There are no “legitimate concerns” about trans people. There aren’t any about women’s safety or fairness in sports or kids being kids or fucking toilets. If there were you’d have heard of them before 2018. I am a cis white woman so you have to listen to me or I’ll cry.
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Brian Finucane @bcfinucane.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Oligarch solidarity www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/dig...
hollywoodreporter.com
The Major Social Media Platforms Are All Rejecting Paid Ads for Alex Gibney’s ‘Musk’ (Exclusive)
YouTube, TikTok and Meta have all turned down the trailer for the Oct. 9 doc, citing "political" content. X won't even take Bleecker Street's calls. The distributor is appealing.
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Dorothy @catandgirl.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Wheels within wheels.
' I need wheels,' Cat says. 'Well you can't get a job here at the wheels factory' Girl replies. 'I don't need a job.' 'Unless you already know how to make wheels,' Girl says. 'I need wheels.' 'You can't learn to make wheels,' she continues. 'Because -' 'Unless you get a wheels degree. '- when it no longer had to compete - ' says Cat straining. 'And you can't afford a wheels degree.' ' - with Communism' says Cat, pulling at a handle with both hands. 'Unless your family can pay for your wheels degree' '- in the global marketplace of ideas -' says Cat, wiping his brow. 'But it costs more than they make,' says Girl. '- the wheels fell off Capitalism' Cat finishes. 'Down at the wheels factory', says Girl. 'So I just need some wheels' says Cat, dragging a wheel-less wheeled suitcase. 'Oh,' says Girl. 'We don't make wheels any more.'
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Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Fuck ChatGPT flyers. The future is broadsheets.
A crowded broadsheet with way too many fonts. It says:
Forget ChatGPT Flyers
Say it with 
Broadsheets
Unlimited fonts
Stretch them
Or cram a really long sentence into one line for no good reason
No whitespace
Mix capital and lowercase
Pointing hands
(They're called manicules!)
Don't be left behind
Broadsheets are the future
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John Bull @garius.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
this isn't conjecture. This is the EXACT reason why one of the quickest ways to shut down a fash with a camera is to start shouting: "this video is brought to you by SquareSpace!" INSTANT demonitization. Because the streaming/social platforms already protect their advertisers more than the state.
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I know it’s the middle slog of the Kickstarter when it’s not exciting, but if people wanted to back this now, I’d love it and you’d eventually get a very nice game. And so reasonably priced! www.kickstarter.com/projects/gre...
kickstarter.com
THOMAS JEFFERSON'S SPEEDWAY HELL: Dangerous Playtest Edition
It's a tabletop RPG where sinners race through Hell to win brief moments of peace. It's handled with tremendous silliness.
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Reposted by Greg Stolze
flyingrodent @flyingrodent.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Rich men used to fear that a mob from the town would show up and seize their factories and mansions. That ceased to be any concern a long time ago so now, they fight like lions to ensure random dorks on Twitter dot com aren’t telling each other not to buy Hank Wank’s new album because he is a dick.
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⿻ 🌱 Eileen Cyleen @eileen.actor · 24/09/2026
Crudely drawn meme

Person: "Do crimes"
Computer: "I did crimes"
Person: "oh my god."
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Diane Marie @dianemiesbauer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Pay attention #Wisconsin
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Greg Stolze @gregstolze.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Why is Brian Steil sending me mail? I know he sucks. I've been very clear about that. #Wisconsin
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