theonion.com
Translator Of Original ‘Minions’ Epic Poem Slams ‘Sexless, Bloodless’ Film Adaptation
PHILADELPHIA—In a 4,500-word essay published in Harper’s Magazine, Emily Wilson, known for her popular translation of the Minions epic poem, blasted the latest film Thursday as a “sexless, bloodless” ...
![Eeeeet c’est encore une énième manif contre un pouvoir illégitime, sourd et aveugle (mais hélas pas muet). Comme d’accoutumée les robocops surarmés sont de sortie, avec ordre de se faire plaisir sur la tonfa. Une bande de petits vieux défile avec des pancartes « cœur ». Jean-Robocop lance à la mamie du devant : « Vous allez roter du sang, bande de TERRORISTES ! » La mamie, interloquée : « Quoi ? » Puis les robocops se mettent à robocoper avec tact (ils tabassent et gazent tout le monde). La mamie, au sol : « Mais on ne fait que marcher pacifiquement dans la rue ! » Dans la dernière case, on retrouve la même mamie, les lunettes à peine désaxées mais désormais vêtue de noir de pied en cape, un cocktail molotov et une barre à mine à la main. Son collègue petit vieux l’interpelle : « Eh bin ? » Mamie répond : « Quitte à se faire gazer, autant se faire plaisir. » [fin]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ektsqyfnb5apiiwvxdpudpzs/bafkreigft3mgdpi6s2anymzkguhkmfsnauxaxf7iziybup3gpilefdhshe)
![Une jeune mère BCBG reçoit des amis dans son salon, entourée de jeunes enfants habillés en Jacadi-core. Jouant avec l’un d’eux sur ses genoux, elle lance à la cantonade : « Depuis toujours, j’essaie de leur inculquer mes valeurs de droite. » Un des invités lui répond : « Ah oui, quand ils se disputent, que le meilleur gagne ? » Marie-Clotilde pouffe : « Haha non quand-même ! » Mais une invitée enchaîne dans un large sourire : « Payer un loyer pour leur chambre ? » Un autre : « Une tarte dans la gueule quand ils ont un avis ? » M-C ne rit plus à présent, et elle tourne le dos en disant « Ça suffit. » Sacrée M-C. [fin]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ektsqyfnb5apiiwvxdpudpzs/bafkreiae7o2sh5ubydkwtbfl4ej36qkaghtnjvsaklfbwfepbfjmh65d7m)
![When I saw the first headline about her demise, it mentioned that she was eighty, and it staggered me to think that she was the same age as Donald Trump, because she was utterly profoundly magnificently opposite to him in every way. Born into extreme poverty in rural Tennessee, she made her own way with massive talent and ambition that seems never to have been decoupled from kindness and principle. Born into great wealth, he was helped along into late middle age by his father and then by his inheritance from that racist real estate tycoon father. He learned a particular kind of ruthless unscrupulousness from Fred Trump and from Joe McCarthy's righthand man, Roy Cohn, as he stumbled, failed, scammed, lied, litigated, and got picked up again and again by Fred.
No matter how rich Donald Trump is he will never have enough because the poverty isn't material, it's emotional and spiritual. In exactly the same way, Parton demonstrates that she had inexhaustible spiritual and emotional riches even as a kid growing up in a one-room shack. That's evident in her huge hit "Coat of Many Colors," about wearing, because of the family's poverty, mended, patched, patchwork clothes her mother sewed:
My coat of many colors that my mama made for me
Made only from rags but I wore it so proudly
Although we had no money I was rich as I could be
In my coat of many colors my mama made for me
She describes how other children mocked her but "And, oh, I couldn't understand it for I felt I was rich/ And I told them of the love my mama sewed in every stitch." Love might be the very essence of the difference between the two of them. The Partons were so poor that they lived in a one-room shack without running water or electricity. Her parents paid the doctor who attended her birth with a sack of cornmeal. [rest at link....]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ya7gfadgypyypiva5pboi6mi/bafkreibqks5fnbt5ydyuwbpk3yx7lg3lfwhavqamyy5tsyr6xrpr5sxgkq)
