theonion.com
Trembling RFK Jr. Tells Dominatrix To Use Processed Foods On His Balls
WASHINGTON—His voice shaking even more than usual as he grew excited over his impending torment, a trembling Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was overheard Thursday telling a dominatrix to use processed foods on...
![Comic: Modern Spectrum Allocation Chart. [Long line of rectangles of different widths in shades of gray. From top to bottom: radio (shouting), TV test patterns, 1G cellular, radio (music), radio (static), reserved for zeppelin navigation, TV channels 2, 5, 7-13, 16, 17, and 28 with 2G cellular in between, interference, WKRP in Cincinnati, spaceship beeps, all other TV, car dealership ads, numbers stations, weather balloons, amateur radio, HAM radio, “weather balloons”, *Choosing Texas* 24/7, [extra large rectangle] boat captains say they need this for something and we don’t ask what because they’re scary, the secret radio waves that make planes stay up, defunct satellite phone company, radioastronomy, radioastrology, [extra small rectangle] all modern wireless infrastructure, death rays, LoFi hip hop beats to relax/study to, security guard walkie talkies, amateur military satellites, left open in case aliens try to call, one brand of garage door openers with a lot of political pull.]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreia2bf2xxisooyebdz5dhcagzlu2dmwatby3jjhkpug2ufgmkd4jra)
