spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 5hin soviet russia, chuck norris is just normal. its like uno reverse 060
Reposted by spimsley petespimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 5hnow i can finally do high kicks like chuck norris 011
Reposted by spimsley petewargen @funeralpig.bsky.social · 9h(crouching in front of a dog tied up outside a coffee shop) who are they to restrain you? what right do they have? what laws have you broken? can the jailor ever truly know a prisoner's heart? (releasing the dog and it runs directly into traffic) perhaps the world is a divine prison 0303
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 7hbuddy of mine bought some pants that didnt fit so he gave them to me. they’re stretchy denim and they have a gusset 😎 160
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 19hthere’s a subset of transphobes who it seems their main objection to the existence of trans people is the awkward sentences they might sometimes have to utter. the unexpected pronouns etc like it’s not even “my daughter bathroom” it’s “that would be an unusual sentence for me to have to say” 1101
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 29/09/2026meme of elizabeth holmes sincere face, impact font SHAKIRA’S HIPS 020
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026when Guru said “if you stand in my way, imma have to spray” that’s when i thought “ew” 170
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026booty language invasion of the booty snatchers the booty politic booty of work of sound mind and booty booty and soul able-bootied booty surfing etc 050
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026please note: it is STRICTLY PROHIBITED to block the heat dissipation hole 010
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 27/09/2026counterpoint: Todd sips absinthe and creates brand new origami animals in his study in the evenings 191
Reposted by spimsley peteUGG!!! @uggcaveman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026ugg been on the internet for months now ugg... know things. see things. 172
Reposted by spimsley peteIndecisively Nameless @picknamealready.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Man I wish I had never heard Choosin' Texas. 4661
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 27/09/2026nevermind the hyperbolics here’s the sex pistols 0133
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 26/09/2026do i have to know industry rules #1-4079 for industry rule #4080, concerning record company people, to make sense? 020
Reposted by spimsley petekaranormal activity 💜 @deadontheoutside.bsky.social · 26/09/2026upgrade from free association to association+ 37622
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 25/09/2026some scientists think that one day far, far in the future, the universe’s gravity will cause it to collapse down into a single point. this scenario is known as a Big Crunch. and just like the universe, i too am currently experiencing a Big Crunch scenario 160
Reposted by spimsley petepalsy 🧉🍂 @hey-its-qalsy.bsky.social · 24/09/2026abstract concept with a bitemark taken out of it 0141
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 24/09/2026thinking of making a starter pack called People Who I Wish Followed Me So I Could See Their Posts On The Mutuals Feed 091
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Spicy Ahi Bites girlfriend Nachos VERY girlfriend 2100
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 23/09/2026or when people say “virtue-signalling” (as if that’s bad) and then look around for agreement 1418
Reposted by spimsley peteHaus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Carney is truly the Reagan of Canada. A calming, paternalistic figure in a period of apocalyptic uncertainty who galvanizes the economy with short-sighted right wing fiscal policies. And like Reagan, every disaster that Canada encounters in the future will be traceable to his administration. 482431541
Reposted by spimsley petespimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 03/06/2025lots wife? no thanks — one is enough! 🤣 2262
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 22/09/2026at some point during human evolution, somewhere between little rodent creature & modern humans, some mother looked at her little baby’s poppy ass and thought “…you know what? i’m not gonna lick that clean” Important Moments In Evolution 240
Reposted by spimsley pete🧩 @holojester.bsky.social · 22/09/2026me: whos that? friend: thats mordo hes cool floating skull: sup 3242
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 22/09/2026i’m realizing i had D B Cooper conflated with Jimmy Hoffa in my mind i think? 150
Reposted by spimsley peteSteady the squirrel @steadysquirrel.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I got mogged so hard the other day I had to sit down and take it all in  082
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 21/09/2026i dunno gang, i think the christian guy waving guns around is probably Jesus’s favorite 1184
Reposted by spimsley peteCountry (and Western) hating Sleazeball @rsgreacen.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Chudness gracious 1443
Reposted by spimsley petejosh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 06/09/2026I ate so much food yesterday it's literally coming out of my ass 1584166
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 21/09/2026yesterday late morning i played some music at a little harvest festival in a village nearby. today on facebook there’s an alert about someone at the festival was selling chanterells that they had picked, that are actually not chanterells but deadly toxic mushrooms 260
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 21/09/2026a sentence i heard earlier today: “he plays in a Grateful Dead tribute band, but he just had a pacemaker put in so” 060
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026if i ever say im gonna dj a wedding in the future tell me to check myself same goes for stepping on a skateboard 050
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026and i say this as a guy with bad teeth: you have bad teeth 051
Reposted by spimsley peteOtter Poppa's Poppaler Nature Facts @peezkyweezky.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Nature abhors you bro 1202
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026man why do i always forget that djing weddings fucking sucks balls 160
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026i’m djing a wedding tonight and there’s a very beautiful tall woman who seems to be into me, should i call my wife and ask her how she feels about a Purge situation but for monogamy? or nah 060
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026just had a gay guy tell me he takes imodium when he goes to raves because he doesn’t want to have his period and i guess im just happy to be learning new things at 45 years old 070
Reposted by spimsley petespimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 27/05/2025check it out i just invented a palindrome: well hello, how are you? nice to meet you, my name is Iemanymu O’Yteemo Tecinuo “Yeraw” Oho Lleh Llew 3224
Reposted by spimsley petespimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 11/10/2025just informed my wife that the area around my butthole is called “Greater Butthole” and she said “i thought that was your mom’s name” 2253
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 18/09/2026last night i came to bed real late and my wife sort of half woke up and she said “hey. hey i got a band name for ya” and i said “what is it?” and she said “Adult Soup” and then fell back asleep 2191
Reposted by spimsley petegibbet cage @gibbet-cage.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Hey man they’re putting our carcasses in a big industrial drum and doing a sort of vibrating boil wash to get the last usable bits of meat off us tonight if you wanna come thru 5553123
spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 17/09/2026there was a 4.2 earthquake this morning that i slept through 💅 070