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spimsley pete

@fattypinner.bsky.social
2.6K followers 682 following 13K posts

ⓘ this user has a line separating good and evil passing not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either -- but right through his heart -- and through all human hearts

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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 5h
in soviet russia, chuck norris is just normal. its like uno reverse
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 5h
now i can finally do high kicks like chuck norris
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wargen @funeralpig.bsky.social · 9h
(crouching in front of a dog tied up outside a coffee shop) who are they to restrain you? what right do they have? what laws have you broken? can the jailor ever truly know a prisoner's heart? (releasing the dog and it runs directly into traffic) perhaps the world is a divine prison
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 7h
buddy of mine bought some pants that didnt fit so he gave them to me. they’re stretchy denim and they have a gusset 😎
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 19h
there’s a subset of transphobes who it seems their main objection to the existence of trans people is the awkward sentences they might sometimes have to utter. the unexpected pronouns etc like it’s not even “my daughter bathroom” it’s “that would be an unusual sentence for me to have to say”
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
meme of elizabeth holmes sincere face, impact font SHAKIRA’S HIPS
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
when Guru said “if you stand in my way, imma have to spray” that’s when i thought “ew”
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
got these two fellows in my front lawn today
bear!bear!
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
you fool. you’ve fallen into my trap
my notifs:

Greg the Miller liked my post that said “thinking of making a starter pack called People Who I Wish Followed Me So I Could See Their Posts On The Mutuals Feed”

and then:

Greg the Miller followed you back
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
booty language invasion of the booty snatchers the booty politic booty of work of sound mind and booty booty and soul able-bootied booty surfing etc
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
absolutely horrendous
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
wonder how Yahoo Serious is doing these days
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
please note: it is STRICTLY PROHIBITED to block the heat dissipation hole
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
counterpoint: Todd sips absinthe and creates brand new origami animals in his study in the evenings
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UGG!!! @uggcaveman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
ugg been on the internet for months now ugg... know things. see things.
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Indecisively Nameless @picknamealready.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Man I wish I had never heard Choosin' Texas.
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
i have captain pike hair right now
top of my head, lookin not dissimilar to captain pike’s hairdo, sticky uppy and pretty grey
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
nevermind the hyperbolics here’s the sex pistols
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
do i have to know industry rules #1-4079 for industry rule #4080, concerning record company people, to make sense?
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karanormal activity 💜 @deadontheoutside.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
upgrade from free association to association+
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
some scientists think that one day far, far in the future, the universe’s gravity will cause it to collapse down into a single point. this scenario is known as a Big Crunch. and just like the universe, i too am currently experiencing a Big Crunch scenario
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Pretty Woman Saves Christmas
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palsy 🧉🍂 @hey-its-qalsy.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
abstract concept with a bitemark taken out of it
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
thinking of making a starter pack called People Who I Wish Followed Me So I Could See Their Posts On The Mutuals Feed
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Spicy Ahi Bites girlfriend Nachos VERY girlfriend
menu photo

Spicy Ahi Bites GFmenu photo:

nachos V GF
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
or when people say “virtue-signalling” (as if that’s bad) and then look around for agreement
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Carney is truly the Reagan of Canada. A calming, paternalistic figure in a period of apocalyptic uncertainty who galvanizes the economy with short-sighted right wing fiscal policies. And like Reagan, every disaster that Canada encounters in the future will be traceable to his administration.
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 03/06/2025
lots wife? no thanks — one is enough! 🤣
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
it’s giving Benis Pemps
it’s an ai picture of a cool egg. the egg has hands and they are clasped Tate-style in front. he has a gold watch and cool shades. he has lipstick kisses all over his face and there are four beautiful and sexy and ethnically diverse women clustered around him. the ethnicities are as follows: Latina, blond, vaguely african or southeast asian, and Redhead
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
at some point during human evolution, somewhere between little rodent creature & modern humans, some mother looked at her little baby’s poppy ass and thought “…you know what? i’m not gonna lick that clean” Important Moments In Evolution
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🧩 @holojester.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
me: whos that? friend: thats mordo hes cool floating skull: sup
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
resting stank face
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
i’m realizing i had D B Cooper conflated with Jimmy Hoffa in my mind i think?
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Steady the squirrel @steadysquirrel.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I got mogged so hard the other day I had to sit down and take it all in 
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
i dunno gang, i think the christian guy waving guns around is probably Jesus’s favorite
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Country (and Western) hating Sleazeball @rsgreacen.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Chudness gracious
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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
I ate so much food yesterday it's literally coming out of my ass
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
yesterday late morning i played some music at a little harvest festival in a village nearby. today on facebook there’s an alert about someone at the festival was selling chanterells that they had picked, that are actually not chanterells but deadly toxic mushrooms
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
a sentence i heard earlier today: “he plays in a Grateful Dead tribute band, but he just had a pacemaker put in so”
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
if i ever say im gonna dj a wedding in the future tell me to check myself same goes for stepping on a skateboard
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
and i say this as a guy with bad teeth: you have bad teeth
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Otter Poppa's Poppaler Nature Facts @peezkyweezky.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Nature abhors you bro
a sad roomba wiping a tear from its eye
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
man why do i always forget that djing weddings fucking sucks balls
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
i’m djing a wedding tonight and there’s a very beautiful tall woman who seems to be into me, should i call my wife and ask her how she feels about a Purge situation but for monogamy? or nah
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
just had a gay guy tell me he takes imodium when he goes to raves because he doesn’t want to have his period and i guess im just happy to be learning new things at 45 years old
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
check it out i just invented a palindrome: well hello, how are you? nice to meet you, my name is Iemanymu O’Yteemo Tecinuo “Yeraw” Oho Lleh Llew
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
just informed my wife that the area around my butthole is called “Greater Butthole” and she said “i thought that was your mom’s name”
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
last night i came to bed real late and my wife sort of half woke up and she said “hey. hey i got a band name for ya” and i said “what is it?” and she said “Adult Soup” and then fell back asleep
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gibbet cage @gibbet-cage.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Hey man they’re putting our carcasses in a big industrial drum and doing a sort of vibrating boil wash to get the last usable bits of meat off us tonight if you wanna come thru
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spimsley pete @fattypinner.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
there was a 4.2 earthquake this morning that i slept through 💅
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