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drewtoothpaste

@drewtoothpaste.bsky.social
46K followers 646 following 6.6K posts

author of Toothpaste For Dinner, Married To The Sea, @dasharez0ne.bsky.social etc. podcast with @nataliedee.bsky.social: patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity join patreon.com/drewtoothpaste and i'll email you my comics every day

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 2h
Math teacher: You won't always have a calculator when you're an adult Gym teacher: You must build crab soccer skills now for use in adulthood
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 3h
when i'm old
i'll probably be normal when i'm old! welp,
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 12h
i had heard about gamers for years. a lifestyle dedicated to having fun sounded to me like its adherents would form bonds based on positivity, friendship and the joy of fair competition
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da share z0ne @dasharez0ne.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
SHIRT BY dashare.zone "TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR" - GET AT dashare.zone WEB SIGHT - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN
BLACK TSHRIT BY dashare.zone admin - "TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR" I AM AMERICAN , I DONT HAVE A DOCTOR WHEN I GET SICK OR HURT I GO TO A BUILDING THAT USED TO SELL FAST FOOD
DESIGN BY DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN -DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 15h
hell yeah this looks fantastic!!!
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🐺Cold🪦Sam🪾 @pdfmerchant.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Recent events have a lot of people asking difficult questions like "Is that real?" "What is true?" "How sheer the veil between Being and Seeming?" - Here's 5 🤚 things you can do to address this in your leadership 🧵
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
car service guy: We can fill your tires with nitrogen for only $100 more me: 😑 car service guy: 😑 me: 😑 air... is... car service guy: 😑 yeah i know me: 😑 78% nitrogen
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Natalie Dee @nataliedee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Got some real fall vibes happening up here in the holler.
A dirt road through a field, entering a mountainous forest. The leaves on the trees are all changing to fall colors.
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Ohio Landlord Problems
I have been renting my house for a few years from the same guy. When I signed the lease in 2014 everything was ok but lately he has been coming around the property a lot. He will always give 24 hour warnings but the interactions are not welcome because I pay the rent. Before you say "He's allowed to do it" let me explain what is happening:

Usually on weds/Thurs I will get an email that says "Friday Night" from him and when I open it he says "There's work to do. " If I complain he will say he's improving the property and he's allowed to be there. But when I get home from work Friday he is sitting at my table and eating some of my food. The first few times it was just Nutty Butty or other snacks like chips, etc. but last week he cooked a whole chicken. Any time I say "I paid for the food, you can't eat it" he will say "It's illegal not to share" and he will laugh. I have nothing against laughing but do I legally have to share the food.
About 2 months ago there was still snow on the ground and he said "It's just like when we were kids, be there in 24 hours," and I put all of my snacks under the bathroom sink so he wouldn't eat them, but then I looked out and he was building a snowman with my snow. He didn't come into the inside of the building, but it's my snow, is he allowed to do this? Or is the snow technically public like the trash?
Then last night he called and said "In 24 hours I need you to be here" and I said where and he just laughed and said "In your house" and then he knocked at 6:40pm which was exactly the time he sent the email. He walked right in and sat down at the table and started telling me about his problem tenants. (Tenants are other people who rent his other houses) I get that work is hard but when I said it's probably not my business he started saying "I don't want you to be a problem tenant" and "Only problem tenants make problems." So I had to listen to that and it was boring, but is it illegal? 

etc
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
board games
ALL BOARD GAMES ARE COOPERATIVE!
you work together to get to the end so you can stop playing
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
a seatbelt saved my life. any enemy of ralph nader is a miserable worm
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jon christian @jonchristian.net · 30/09/2026
NEW: People who chug their own piss have emerged as MAJOR supporters of AI futurism.com/artificial-i...
futurism.com
People Who Drink Their Own Pee Are Obsessed With AI, Using It to Reassure Themselves That It's a Miraculous Cure-All
Urine therapy devotees are sharing ways to break past AI guardrails in order to brainstorm ways to use pee as medicine.
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J HELL P @jlp.systems · 30/09/2026
Pimp My Consciousness
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
with one final heave of the rope, i pulled my tired body to the top of the mountain. the monk said nothing as i approached and knelt before him, but watched me serenely as I asked my single permitted question:
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
the pigs' revenge
Let’s show these
farmers what’s
what! Start a
trending topic,
hogs!
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
all hobbies should have compost. you turned your wooden bowl poorly? flopped your mug? sewed your wallet crooked? painted your mini sloppy? put it all in the yard under a tarp and throw eggshells and coffee grounds in there. next year will be amazing
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Bob's Red Mill is our country's leading provider of bags of grain that you find three-quarters full in your cabinet after they've expired
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i like this a lot more than the phrase "Artificial Intelligence"
an advertisement for "Claude Smart Toilet"
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
sorry!
I found this in your
room! No one gave
you permission to
track the
days of the
week, much
less in
something
called...
“Cowlendar?”
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
this is my personal favorite of the hundreds of shirts i've designed in the past few years dashare.zone/products/cou...
a black shirt that says: countries aren't real, borders aren't real, "noooo you have to stay on your side of the line" grow up
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Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 28/09/2026
MILES DAVIS USING GOOGLE IN 1972: band "all wah pedals" legal wah pedal drums drummer wah pedal "wah wah" drums how to
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
a bunch of mushrooms grew in front of this mysterious stack of rocks that emerged the morning after a party 🌱🍄#fungifriends
mushrooms growing out of a pile of woodchips, in front of some old rocks, in my yard
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
monday morning
Here we are again, kids. Step on up
into the liminal libertarian space
between home and school. You can
go crazy as long as you’re quiet, but
there are no seat belts. No rules,
no protection.
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pecker head @pecker-head.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
american goldfinch #birds
american goldfinch
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
God, grant me the courage to change the things I can and incredible new powers to change the things I can't.
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andy.scrolling.fright @andy.scrolling.site · 27/09/2026
An authentication request has been sent to HARP. To verify your identity you must PLAY ENCHANTING MELODY ON HARP
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
hell yeah this looks amazing!!
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
oh hell yeah
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
starring you
NOVELTY QUEST
starring: YOU ages 0-???
Get dopamine from all the fun you have during life!!!
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maple cocaine @maplecocaine.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
While I respect the confidence of naming your own album "The Best Dub Album in the World," this wasn't even the best dub album that Scientist released in 1980 m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPDr...
m.youtube.com
Scientist - The Best Dub Album In The World - Album
YouTube video by Koko roots
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
it's still incredible good imo!!
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
no!
No! Mom! Don’t come in! I’m writing checks my ass can’t cash!
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
damn that's nice!
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
the flesh of the doomed tomato is ripped from its skeleton by the ferocious bird of prey
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Michael Metivier @grousehollow.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
More toadstools, and a toad! This little buddy did *not* want me to pick them up but I needed to hurry them away to a safer spot than the middle of the yard. Bisou did a good job listening and giving them space.
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
you see a product at a store one day and it's uniquely revolting. you turn it over in your mind and finally come to the conclusion that "not everything is for me." within an hour you realize that nothing made by industry is For You. all products in all stores are For Oppressor
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
the dragon illustration on the black and red one is sick. but the typesetting on it is ass. the green one looks cleaner and the illustration is fine but the design looks generic. but not in a repo man way, in an uncool way. a real yin yang situation
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
hedonism takes different forms. for example smoking weed and reading wikipedia is 100% hedonic to me and other people of good taste. creating cryptic notes files on my phone that i cannot read the next day is another form of pleasure. now it's a puzzle. which i also love. pure hedonism
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 31/07/2023
every poster thinks they are casually sharing their passing thoughts; every replier thinks they are critiquing a manifesto
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
cowcore
I done told ya varmints already!
I ain’t a damn cowboy! I’m
cowcore! It uses the themes of
cowboy in a modern context, ya
puckered buzzards!
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
we're at 524 episodes of Garbage Brain University and your tiny payment lets us keep making more (and gives you instant access to all past episodes.) plus, you get to find out what the CIA is doing with your genetic data. listen to it here: patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity
Is the ClA hunting alien-human hybrids?
GBU #524: The Great Mistake with Drew & Natalie Dee
patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
yoooo this looks sick!!! a friend just put me onto cyborg/morkborg a few weeks back, i'm gonna order this ASAP
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
"AI Has Hacked Government Websites" we are entering the fifth decade of media and the public misunderstanding the word "hack." the statistical average of mass market novels and reddit posts is not committing privilege escalation. if your server hands private data to cURL you fucked up your server
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
the bush
Landscaping around corporate buil-
dings isn’t about “nature,” it’s a
show of power. The bush exists at
our whim and is
shaped to our desire.
But when the
bubble pops and
the money disap-
pears, the bush 
flourishes. We’re
bushes in this way.
Bushes that drink
beer and play
scratch-offs.
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
hell yeah!!!
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Cheez-It Extra Toasty should be the default and the original recipe should be sold as Cheez-It Pure. also the back of the box should have poetry on it instead of an advertisement for Chees-It Grooves. nobody's buying that garbage let us read something beautiful. or gross. they have gross poems now
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
that's insane! usually people have to shut me up about the chemistry of distilling lol
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
i replaced Discover with Quiet People in my feed menus bsky.app/profile/did:...
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
don't worry!
Don't worry! The invisible hand of the free market, gripping you ever-tighter, continues to enjoy little, if any, restrictions from our government!
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
i used to like apocalyptic books and movies, but i don't now, and i think it's cause i realized five years ago that if the apocalypse happens i'll still have to work
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