Sign in

drewtoothpaste

@drewtoothpaste.bsky.social
46K followers 646 following 6.6K posts

author of Toothpaste For Dinner, Married To The Sea, @dasharez0ne.bsky.social etc. podcast with @nataliedee.bsky.social: patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity join patreon.com/drewtoothpaste and i'll email you my comics every day

PostsRepliesMedia
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 9h
american healthcare
whoa, whoa! can you die in a way that casts the government less money?!?!
01189
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
i just told her what i do with the eggs
i'm holding a chicken
01922
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
great depression
We’re in “Great Depression
I”? What do they
mean by “one?”
011810
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
it's our ayam cemani chickens' first autumn and they're losing their minds running through the leaves and kicking them everywhere
a black ayam cemani hen in my front yard in autumn
018910
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
i didn't realize anywhere in real life actually looked like this until i came to vermont for the first time
a field, pond, house, and trees, in a hollow of the green mountains in vermont
52328
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
why
raw dog the phone: no case, dangerous, phone feel small now, screen break roulette
316010
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
when i'm old
i'll probably be normal when i'm old! welp,
020727
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Ohio Landlord Problems
I have been renting my house for a few years from the same guy. When I signed the lease in 2014 everything was ok but lately he has been coming around the property a lot. He will always give 24 hour warnings but the interactions are not welcome because I pay the rent. Before you say "He's allowed to do it" let me explain what is happening:

Usually on weds/Thurs I will get an email that says "Friday Night" from him and when I open it he says "There's work to do. " If I complain he will say he's improving the property and he's allowed to be there. But when I get home from work Friday he is sitting at my table and eating some of my food. The first few times it was just Nutty Butty or other snacks like chips, etc. but last week he cooked a whole chicken. Any time I say "I paid for the food, you can't eat it" he will say "It's illegal not to share" and he will laugh. I have nothing against laughing but do I legally have to share the food.
About 2 months ago there was still snow on the ground and he said "It's just like when we were kids, be there in 24 hours," and I put all of my snacks under the bathroom sink so he wouldn't eat them, but then I looked out and he was building a snowman with my snow. He didn't come into the inside of the building, but it's my snow, is he allowed to do this? Or is the snow technically public like the trash?
Then last night he called and said "In 24 hours I need you to be here" and I said where and he just laughed and said "In your house" and then he knocked at 6:40pm which was exactly the time he sent the email. He walked right in and sat down at the table and started telling me about his problem tenants. (Tenants are other people who rent his other houses) I get that work is hard but when I said it's probably not my business he started saying "I don't want you to be a problem tenant" and "Only problem tenants make problems." So I had to listen to that and it was boring, but is it illegal? 

etc
0736
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
board games
ALL BOARD GAMES ARE COOPERATIVE!
you work together to get to the end so you can stop playing
025937
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
with one final heave of the rope, i pulled my tired body to the top of the mountain. the monk said nothing as i approached and knelt before him, but watched me serenely as I asked my single permitted question:
0793
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
the pigs' revenge
Let’s show these
farmers what’s
what! Start a
trending topic,
hogs!
110112
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i like this a lot more than the phrase "Artificial Intelligence"
an advertisement for "Claude Smart Toilet"
018022
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
sorry!
I found this in your
room! No one gave
you permission to
track the
days of the
week, much
less in
something
called...
“Cowlendar?”
0700
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
this is my personal favorite of the hundreds of shirts i've designed in the past few years dashare.zone/products/cou...
a black shirt that says: countries aren't real, borders aren't real, "noooo you have to stay on your side of the line" grow up
116922
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
a bunch of mushrooms grew in front of this mysterious stack of rocks that emerged the morning after a party 🌱🍄#fungifriends
mushrooms growing out of a pile of woodchips, in front of some old rocks, in my yard
01165
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
monday morning
Here we are again, kids. Step on up
into the liminal libertarian space
between home and school. You can
go crazy as long as you’re quiet, but
there are no seat belts. No rules,
no protection.
016110
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
starring you
NOVELTY QUEST
starring: YOU ages 0-???
Get dopamine from all the fun you have during life!!!
0563
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
no!
No! Mom! Don’t come in! I’m writing checks my ass can’t cash!
01479
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
the flesh of the doomed tomato is ripped from its skeleton by the ferocious bird of prey
1905
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
cowcore
I done told ya varmints already!
I ain’t a damn cowboy! I’m
cowcore! It uses the themes of
cowboy in a modern context, ya
puckered buzzards!
012617
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
we're at 524 episodes of Garbage Brain University and your tiny payment lets us keep making more (and gives you instant access to all past episodes.) plus, you get to find out what the CIA is doing with your genetic data. listen to it here: patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity
Is the ClA hunting alien-human hybrids?
GBU #524: The Great Mistake with Drew & Natalie Dee
patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity
0111
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
the bush
Landscaping around corporate buil-
dings isn’t about “nature,” it’s a
show of power. The bush exists at
our whim and is
shaped to our desire.
But when the
bubble pops and
the money disap-
pears, the bush 
flourishes. We’re
bushes in this way.
Bushes that drink
beer and play
scratch-offs.
010712
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
don't worry!
Don't worry! The invisible hand of the free market, gripping you ever-tighter, continues to enjoy little, if any, restrictions from our government!
014229
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
filtered and decanted into individual health potions. no one wants to carry a gallon jug into a dungeon
seven bottles of green herbal potion
11886
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
the best part
Wow! There it goes. Which one
of us has to put society back
together after we
destroy it for
pleasure?
That’s the
best part!
We let the
next gen-
eration deal
with that.
010722
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
dirt road at night, iphone's delight
a long exposure shot of the moon over my dirt road after sunset
01683
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
trash can on the border of pakistan and china www.google.com/maps/@36.848...
a trash can at the border says "USE ME" while the himalayas loom behind
110411
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
this is what chickens sound like when you give them tomatoes from your garden
213713
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
don't be scared!
Don’t be scared! Come along
and take a bike ride
with me! We’ll
narrowly avoid
death about
eleven times
and get
yelled at by
car drivers
for no ap-
parent reason!
021022
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
enormous graveyard mushroom 🍄📸
a large mushroom in a graveyard
11669
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
only three things
only three things are certain: death, taxes, annoying guys
019628
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
amazing job on the john fetterman magic card. making him damage you even though you put him into play was a great detail
Kookus
Summon Djinn
Trample
During your upkeep, if you do not control at least one Keeper of Kookus, Kookus deals 3 damage to you and attacks this turn if able.
2: +1/+0 until end of turn
Illus. Scott Hampton
01096 Wizards of the Coast, Ine All rights reserved
3/5
144280
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
there!
There! Now the violence
I’ve inspired will never
affect me.
018219
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
don't worry!
LOOKS LIKE THINGS ARE GETTING WORSE!
Don't worry though!
The rich will be fine!
114329
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
you're asleep now
You won’t be able to see that
photograph in your earth body,
Wayne. You’re asleep
now on Earth, and you
wish you had taken
more photos in
the past, because
you realize now
that your kids
seem more real
than you do,
because you’ve
got thousands of
photos of them,
and twelve of
yourself. Now
stop. Stop screaming.
You’ll wake everyone up.
You’re screaming on Earth. Stop.
0795
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
keeping the internet running
Golly, thanks,
sir, but we don’t really
care that much about
good service. It’s more
about makin’ sure the
corpos can keep tabs
on ya! Without the
‘net, they don’t know
whatcher doin’!
010810
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
when pizza's on a bagel
You’d have to have the bagel first, I
reckon, to support
the assertion
that you
could have
pizza at
any time.
But if you free
yourself from
that desire for
pizza, then
you’re getting
closer to what
you really want, pardner.
012514
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
lots of moving objects out there tonight... none of my business
a thirty second exposure of the sky in the green mountains in vermont
023911
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
sorry that there's dirt on your strawberry your highness
chicken is mad at the strawberry i'm giving her
01702
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
this is a data robbery
Give me your age bracket, gender, affinity-
interest categories, twenty-four months of
purchase data, and a full list of your brand
loyalties, and no one gets hurt!
012714
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
i saved this young snake from being eaten by our flock of chickens. it seemed nice to do but also i thought for sure i was going to get the three wishes speech. i've always wanted to irrevocably alter the world with unforeseen consequences using an animal's powerful yet ironic magic
i'm holding a small eastern garter snake who is looking at my phone
125916
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
wait!
hold on just a minute! i definitely voted AGAINST being put into a giant blender!!
0975
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
confirmation bias
i don't have confirmation bias! i just tend to selectively interpret the events in the world as evidence that i'm right!
0988
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
i touched an electric fence in the process of taking this photo but i think it was worth it
cows in a field at night
145438
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
the story of the day
The story of the day! A third
party weighs in on a
squabble between two
people you don’t know!
You also
don’t know
the third
person! Read
all about it
for some
reason!!!
015119
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
the algorithm
don't hate "the algorithm!" it graciously
allowed you to view this very image!!!
0985
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
think about it
Think about it, man. No sentence that
begins “actually,” is ever in good faith,
because it presupposes an imagined
lack of knowledge in its intended
recipient.
0939
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
good excuse to post one of my favorite photos from last decade
cheam creems
11229158
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
predators
We think we’re predators, Mr. Anderson.
We tell ourselves we’re on the top of the
pyramid, at the end of the food chain.
Spend enough time in the
sky and you’ll know
we’re nowhere near
any of that. It’s not
the clouds, or
the hills, or the
majesty of this
rotten planet.
It’s something
alive. Something
that feeds on
us. On humans.
Have a good flight.
1916
drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
the pledge
May our school shooter be
based and not cringe,
and may we please
have books in our
school library,
let Him cook,
Amen.
01216