Sign in

Ted Litchfield

@dilfpatrol.bsky.social
616 followers 650 following 657 posts

On my court eunuch grind but I got a grand vizier mindset. Associate editor at PC Gamer. He/him. www.pcgamer.com/author/glen-litchfi…

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 5h
never forget
"It was the Zune's time."
2103
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
UncleofJamiroquai @jessefarrar.com · 12h
It seems quaint now that we do all our banking and race science there, but, nevertheless, it's true: at one time, people mostly wrote jokes on Twitter. 10 years ago, I wrote one about an old asshole and it kinda changed my life. Not his, though. www.cnn.com/2026/10/01/u...
cnn.com
The tweet that defined a decade of Trump | CNN
It’s been 10 years since Jesse Farrar accidentally defined a political era with one pithy, prescient tweet. He wishes it never happened.
852100365
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
𝕯𝖚𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖚𝖘𝖙🌙🦇 @dungeonlust.com · 14/12/2023
Art by • Doug Beekman
9725227
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I've undertaken a momentous task today at PC Gamer, where I'm chronicling my search for the Least Probable Goku on Nexus Mods using a patented Saiyan Singularity Judgment (SSJ) scoring system. I do this not for me, but for all of us. www.pcgamer.com/games/live/n...
pcgamer.com
LIVE: I'm hunting for the least probable Goku on Nexus Mods and no god or government can stop me
My bosses might! But they haven't yet.
37826
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Queen's Domain⚔️ - DEMO OUT NOW @queensdomain.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Queen’s Domain is launching OCT 30TH!! ⚔️ Excited to announce our retro-fantasy action RPG with brutal combat and traversal-focused exploration will be available soon for PC and Consoles. Coming to Steam, Switch 2, Xbox Series and PS5!
522076652
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Christopher Livingston @chrislivingston.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
BREAKING
pcgamer.com
Necks added to videogame
"...the feedback [on neckless characters] we've consistently got is that people hate them. They hate everything about them."
1117
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Supper Mario Broth @mariobrothblog.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door inadvertently depicts Peach as the quickest typist in the world. She is able to type up a 126-word email in exactly 3 seconds, making her 8 times faster than the current typing speed world record.
In Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, Peach sends multiple emails to Mario during the plot. Almost all of them take her exactly 3 seconds to type.
The length of the emails she types in 3 seconds varies from 54 words to the longest one seen below, at 126 words.
Peach: I'm OK
My Dearest Mario, I send this letter in the hope that it reaches you safely. I am being held against my will in some strange place. Though I do not know where I am, I remain unharmed and in relative comfort.
Those who have captured me seem to be after the map I sent to you earlier. They may be hoping to use it to find objects they call the "Crystal Stars." I do not know what they are planning, but I have a feeling it is not anything positive.
Mario, please collect these Crystal Stars before they do. You must! They are already aware that you have the map, so please be very careful.
And please... Don't worry about me.
-Princess Peach-
At the current world record typing speed of 319 words per minute, Peach should have been able to get about this far into the email.
In order to finish the email in three seconds, she needed to type with an a speed of 2520 words per minute, 7.9 times the world record.
While the quick typing is clearly merely a way to make the scene move along more quickly and should not be taken as accurate depiction of Peach's typing skills, it is still humorous to imagine the implications arising from it if taken at face value.
Source: analysis inspired by @nintendostuff.bsky.social
543255806
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Demon's Souls Dialog Bot @soulsdialogbot.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The Sixth Saint Astraea and her knight Garl Vinland
1113
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Rick Lane @ricklane.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
This week's Disk Cleanup is a riotous chat with @honestwilliam.bsky.social, in which he got so worked up talking about Dota 2 that he had to turn on his fan. www.pcgamer.com/gaming-indus...
pcgamer.com
William Pugh, co-designer of The Stanley Parable, has over 1,600 hours in Dota 2: 'It's not a game made of love. It's a game fuelled by hate and a desire to conquer'
The founder of Crows Crows Crows guides us through the games on his PC.
2176
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Riley MacLeod @rcmacleod.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Also, I refuse to be convinced this is a better bathtub Geralt than the original, no thank you www.pcgamer.com/games/the-wi...
pcgamer.com
Here is your world-first comparison between original and remastered Tub Geralt in The Witcher 3
Geralt now 600% more damp.
2254
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Jaws Slayer 🎃 @jesawyer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Pillars of Eternity (2015)
826411
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Christoffer Bodegård @chrisbodegard.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I was on a panel at the Göteborg Bokmässa with my phone on airplane mode, when this dropped afterwards someone told me 'congrats on the nomination!' and I replied with the most nonchalant, '...What nomination?' Absolutely CRAZY to see! If you like Ebb, GO VOTE!
2304
Ted Litchfield @dilfpatrol.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Chicago's favorite son
000
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Demon's Souls Dialog Bot @soulsdialogbot.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
There's a rumour that the silent chief Yurt has infiltrated Boletaria.
0176
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
videogame history @vghistory.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
xbox 360, proposed designs (2005) archive.org/details/xbox...
there are eight draft designs here ranging from a flat square, a design that looks like an old stereo system, a flat curved edge design with a large circle on top, a "pod" design, an open carry case and a design that looks like a towering futuristic building (among others).
616227
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
It's too depressing and obnoxious to write about, but virtually all of the doomy/horny AI hyperventilating is transparently displaced anxiety about our fucked climate and political situation. Even rich idiots know it's bad and being permitted to get worse. They're trying to write their own ending.
8460501067
Ted Litchfield @dilfpatrol.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Lower Loran Chalice Dungeon Layer 2 you are officially my Donkey of the Week - "This place stinks!"
000
Ted Litchfield @dilfpatrol.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
yeah and baby gronk and libby have been together for years
001
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
dr. rich traditions, JD @helldude.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
we have control mechanisms for this. it's called The Law. these guys should be held personally liable for these harms. the suicides, the thefts, the intrusions into computer systems. they should be sued and prosecuted as appropriate. problem immediately solved
12971091700
Ted Litchfield @dilfpatrol.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Such a good game with way too many barriers to get running on actually good hardware. www.pcgamer.com/games/after-...
pcgamer.com
After mainlining 30 hours of 1440p Bloodborne, I know in my heart it belongs on PC
You can force it, but it shouldn't be so unapproachable.
000
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Samuel Roberts @samuelwroberts.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
*coughs* Well anyway I'm writing stuff for PC Gamer for three weeks. Here's something I wrote: www.pcgamer.com/games/horror...
pcgamer.com
The scariest part of Silent Hill: Townfall? It's not the monsters—it's British interior design
The latest Silent Hill game goes overboard with tiny details of Scottish coastal life.
1497
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
dr. rich traditions, JD @helldude.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
there was a vibe shift and it still pertains: Everything Fucking Sucks and Is Too Fucking Expensive and Violent and I'm Fucking Terrified of the Future and the Assholes in Charge Do Not Give a Single Shit So Fuck Them
131435146
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
oblivion.txt @oblivion-txt.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Here's a Weak Elixir of Exploration. Not bad, eh? If you want more, you can buy them from me. I've discounted them for you, of course.
041
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Wabbaboy @wabbaboy.dev · 22/09/2026
FlyKnight Enhanced Edition · Hard Mode, with redesigned levels and bosses · Proper Poison Swamp · Item and Enemy Randomizer · New Weapons · New Enemies · NG+ · A bunch of bug fixes and performance enhancements Free Update, no price increase, this Friday store.steampowered.com/app/3108510/...
11470175
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
PC Gamer @pcgamer.com · 22/09/2026
Xbox executive vice president and chief content officer Matt Booty has announced another round of layoffs and studio reorganizations as part of the continuing "reset" of Microsoft's gaming division.
pcgamer.com
Xbox lays off 268 more employees, merges Obsidian into Bethesda, and puts Activision in charge of Halo
Xbox says it's now "roughly three-quarters of the way" to completing its planned 3,200 job cuts.
2215
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Quake Map of the Day @motd.cataclysmal.org · 21/09/2026
Title: Ter Shibboleth Part 2 Author(s): KenChennar alias Orl Date: 2020-01-15 The sequel to Ter Shibboleth , follwing the same boundary-pushing vei... www.quaddicted.com/db/v2/maps/dd6e0… #city #village #winter #episode #mod #quake
03313
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 21/09/2026
sports fans are categorically stupid, football fans are even more categorically stupid and the people who castigate pro athletes for being "soft" would die if netflix went down for a day
2957
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Rick Lane @ricklane.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Disk Cleanup time! This week, Dragon Age co-director and BioWare veteran Mark Darrah told me all about playing Factorio with his son, why he increasingly prefers short games, and why he'll never be a pro streamer. Read on! www.pcgamer.com/gaming-indus...
pcgamer.com
Mark Darrah, co-director of Dragon Age: Origins, has played Riven for 3 minutes and Factorio for 832 hours: 'If you want to know what kind of programmer someone would be, have them play Factorio'
The BioWare veteran guides us through the games on his PC.
053
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Sinnoware 🔶 Immersive Sim @sinnoware.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Saw some “Focus, G” comments about the *new* Garrett voice lines. “I can pick that guy off with an arrow, but if I miss, I’ll give myself away” is an unused line for the original game’s tutorial. Nightdive most definitely used it for trailer purposes.
3221
Ted Litchfield @dilfpatrol.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Bloody Crow of Cainhurst is so sick. Just taking your two coolest character designs and kitbashing them together like a player would. Not ashamed to say I jack his swag on about half the characters I make.
Bloodborne player character wearing Crowfeather armor with Cainhurst gloves, boots, and helmet. A figure wearing a 19th century coat with tattered cloak overtop, with silvery armored helmet. Wielding a katana-patterned saber and flintlock pistol.
000
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Taffer King @tafferking451.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The bank director's room has been converted into a court room - the Chief's Court. Every action and crime that led to the city to chaos is accounted for, with Harland as its judge, jury and executioner. He's on his way to put the court in session. #gloomwood
514125
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Jake Tucker @jaketucker.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
PC Gaming Show Tokyo Direct is live in 3 minutes. Come watch: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vjrx...
youtube.com
PC Gaming Show Tokyo Direct 2026
YouTube video by PC Gamer
172
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
KOTH Screens @kothscreens.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Screenshot from King of the Hill Season 11, Episode 11
16918
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Mike @2adult2person.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Twitter user dawnedEUW quote tweeting a "picture" of a white dragon laying on the ground: i can't help but notice that i am seeing a lot more dragon sighting videos since the advent of generative AI.

Could it be that AI's adverse effects on the environment are leading to a change in their behavior, e.g. lack of water sources that causes them to move closer to cities?
162757623
Ted Litchfield @dilfpatrol.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I can't believe @ricklane.bsky.social got me to sympathize with the UK government at the expense of something called "Sex Vixens from Space" www.pcgamer.com/games/advent...
pcgamer.com
I played the adventure game so scandalous that it was physically destroyed by UK customs
What vile debauchery could lie within Sex Vixens from Space?
011
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Patrick K Mills @pkernaghan.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
In Neverwinter nights 2 we briefly toyed with the idea that if, after the attack on west habor, the PC were to reject "the call", the game would end and you'd be treated to an end game slideshow explaining how your childhood friend Bevil (?) became the hero of Neverwinter in your stead.
14808124
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
That Tom Hall @thattomhall.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Happy 34th anniversary to Spear of Destiny, our commercial version of Wolfenstein 3D! Seems like it's always been a little harder than expected to get that thing.... #wolfenstein #spearofdestiny #id #idsoftware
919244
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
i actually think it's good nothing from my lifetime will be around in a thousand years. means we'll never suffer the indignity of nerds speculating about how Ancient Capitalists lived. what's wrong future historians? we etched our names and deeds in seaside sands? yup, saved a pretty penny on it too
0709
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
"Remedy is flexing all its finest talents: sculpting uncanny hellscapes, placing tactical redactions in bureaucratic lore collectibles, and capturing endearingly human performances in circumstances beyond human comprehension. Unfortunately, melee combat isn't on that list of strong suits."
pcgamer.com
Control Resonant review
[Redacted] is the better Faden.
35712
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
PC Gamer @pcgamer.com · 17/09/2026
"People would say, 'You're going to go under by turning your nose up at this project ... People are offering you money to do this DLC for this third-person action shooter.' And we'd be like, 'Yeah, but we don't like those, we don't know how to do them well, and we think that game is dumb.'"
pcgamer.com
Dishonored's Harvey Smith named his new studio Black Pony Immersive so people would stop asking him to work on other genres: 'Specialising on what you love is not a bad path'
Please don't ask him to work on a third-person shooter.
0306
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Sinnoware 🔶 Immersive Sim @sinnoware.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
In NewDark 1.29 for Thief, now you can open a door halfway and hide under the dynamically created shadow (you can also enable guards to notice the player's shadow).
34213
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I don’t ever presume that Valve is benevolent or a friend, they’re a private company and they’re here to make money and their curation policy is fraught, but to to their credit they make products people actually wanna use when basically every other American company has forgotten that.
1874972
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Newspaper headline: WOODLAND FAIRIES DEFEATED IN FLORAL ARRANGEMENT CONTEST. In the article’s photo we see a man in a sweater vest posing next to his winning arrangement with a 1st place medal around his neck. To his left we see his opponents: a defeated band of woodland fairies with their losing arrangement. They look distraught and confused and they should be, reader. How could this happen to the heavy tournament favorites? They’re woodland fairies. Flowers are their life and yet when it was all on the line, they came up short. The winner was just a floral enthusiast not even a professional florist. A shocking defeat and an inspiring win.
335133787
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Demon's Souls Dialog Bot @soulsdialogbot.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
What the hell's wrong with you?
22614
Ted Litchfield @dilfpatrol.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Do you think the Bottle Opener Lobby resorted to any dirty tricks when beverage companies started rolling out twist tops
001
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
deus_ex.txt @deus-ex-txt.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Go. You don't have much time.
043
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
NFL’s New Overtime Rules

- First possession per team
- Which comes first: score or possession
- If coin flip is heads, elect to kick or receive. Same if tails, once possessions
- If a field goal is kicked on first possession, team on field must acquiesce

Designed by Jon. Share with your friends if you found this helpful!
241087174
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Jaws Slayer 🎃 @jesawyer.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
real youtu.be/cQow1I2S8yE?...
Anyaustin screen grab with Austin and a Venn diagram that says never stop moving / disappear immediately and the stared area says NPCs Fish
653641
Ted Litchfield @dilfpatrol.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Everyone's talking about the big gaming news of the moment: Ted got Bloodborne running in the shadps4 emulator on his PC and stayed up too late running back the Cleric Beast
160
Reposted by Ted Litchfield
Naomi Klein @naomiaklein.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
"People are really mad and however mad you are, it’s not enough. Because there is something so profound about no longer believing in the future, about seeing no value in our shared home, in the natural world. They’re traitors to creation.” www.theguardian.com/books/2026/s...
theguardian.com
Naomi Klein: ‘Extreme wealth has a deranging effect. It turns you into a supremacist’
She’s tackled neoliberalism and the digital world, now the writer and activist is taking on tech billionaires. She explains how the super-rich are capitalising on climate and financial chaos in pursui...
6539021326