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lincoln carpenter

@lincolnhello.bsky.social
1.9K followers 855 following 4.9K posts

News writer at PC Gamer. Older stuff at Polygon, Fanbyte, pre-unholy resurrection Waypoint, etc. Artist formerly known as the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Views are my own and bad

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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 9h
on top of everything else today: spilled my sushi on the floor. god and his angels are silent
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ashley bardhan @ashleybardhan.bsky.social · 12h
is there a better word than devastated? (shattered? fly-swatted?) anyway i've been laid off. i joined gamesradar+ as a freelancer in 2023, and the site had my lifelong admiration by the time i became a senior writer in 2024. i'll miss it lmk if u need a creepy🧟‍♀️ gurl: ashleybardhan(at)gmail(dot)com
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Dr. Emily Price @emilyprice.bsky.social · 12h
sites just have to hire more non-men. It’s unforgivable how few women and nonbinary people are staff writers and editors at major sites, across the board. not just in games but games in particular has a serious problem.
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crisp @crisp-red.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
also, in case any Friends of Bean want to help [wheel of fortune voice] Clean That Bean:
photo of me awkwardly holding bean the mini dachshund behind my back while she stares at the camera. there’s an inset pic of a little dachshund stamped on paper. 

text says: bean loves going to vet and is completely normal about it. speaking of, we’re trying very hard to save up to get her teeth cleaned (and possibly extractions). her stinky mouth has reached uncomfortable levels and she can only eat moistened or wet food. my venmo is kait-sanchez if you’d like to chip in to clean the bean. bean and i will even send you a thank you note with a little bean stamp if you want.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"Never let age stop you," Bowie said, presumably flanked by heaped war-riches and the piled skulls of her slain competitors. "If I can do it, so can you."
pcgamer.com
This 78-year-old grandmother has an insatiable lust for violence (in Fortnite)
The Guinness World Recordholder for oldest female Fortnite streamer says her one goal is "to go in and eliminate folk."
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Fine. That's—you know, that's fine. That's good. I'm glad.
pcgamer.com
Control Resonant embarrasses me, specifically, with a launch day hotfix negating my main review complaint
Enemy damage sponginess shouldn't be as severe for the rest of you, at least.
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mirna @goodbye.computer · 24/09/2026
i had like, two more ideas
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Fine. That's—you know, that's fine. That's good. I'm glad.
pcgamer.com
Control Resonant embarrasses me, specifically, with a launch day hotfix negating my main review complaint
Enemy damage sponginess shouldn't be as severe for the rest of you, at least.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Ascendance will be a homecoming for Monster Hunter's most hateful horror:
pcgamer.com
Oh good, the pervert's back
And it brought its kids.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I don't have words for fully communicating the kind of blackened, corrosive hatred this shit has left me with
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
the problem isn't that they made a merely adequate Wolverine game. that problem is that they AREN'T greenlighting a Xavier Institute for Higher Learning management sim
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
"Remedy is flexing all its finest talents: sculpting uncanny hellscapes, placing tactical redactions in bureaucratic lore collectibles, and capturing endearingly human performances in circumstances beyond human comprehension. Unfortunately, melee combat isn't on that list of strong suits."
pcgamer.com
Control Resonant review
[Redacted] is the better Faden.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
the problem isn't that they made a merely adequate Wolverine game. that problem is that they AREN'T greenlighting a Xavier Institute for Higher Learning management sim
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Scout Tafoya @honorszombie.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
More adults have made youth sports their entire personality in the last 10 years than any child in history. Why don't you go break up a game of hide and seek while you're at it, you fuckin' losers.
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Jordan Minor @jordanwminor.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
The best part of Control Resonant is how it understands the freaky liminal appeal of simply existing in New York City. My latest for @pcmag.com www.pcmag.com/news/control...
pcmag.com
‘Control Resonant’ Loves Freaky New York City Just as Much as I Do
This surreal sequel is instantly one of gaming’s best depictions of the Big Apple, an urban kaleidoscope that’s unnerving to witness yet incredible to explore.
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Discontinued Foods! @discontinuedfoods.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Beans all over.
A bucket hat with a baked beans all over design for 25 American dollars
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
"Remedy is flexing all its finest talents: sculpting uncanny hellscapes, placing tactical redactions in bureaucratic lore collectibles, and capturing endearingly human performances in circumstances beyond human comprehension. Unfortunately, melee combat isn't on that list of strong suits."
pcgamer.com
Control Resonant review
[Redacted] is the better Faden.
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jade, whose voice is the Deluge @goblinmode.com · 09/08/2025
recently re-listened to the shelved by genre bonus episode on qud. the phrase “they’re transmuting your ass on gem twitter” is constantly on my mind
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
"My natural inclination is to cosign Tsujimoto's objective appraisal of the weapon's self-evident efficacy, utility, and inherent nobility. But I'm obligated as a journalist to acknowledge that there might be some slight favoritism in play."
pcgamer.com
Unbiased Monster Hunter producer predicts one weapon will climb the popularity rankings in Ascendance, has no agenda: 'Hammer should definitely go up a place or two'
My man.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I was right and Blizzard knows it
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I was right and Blizzard knows it
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Ian Rennie @theangelremiel.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Nathan Fielder and Elizabeth Holmes doing the "we're just normal men" meme
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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
One of the best video game genres is “main character has their arm cursed by a magic/sci-fi evil thing and it kinda rules”
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
"Thousand Hells boasts some truly best-in-class procedural storytelling, but it's content to subject me to back-to-back miseries without recourse."
pcgamer.com
Thousand Hells is a 'tactical narrative' feast of infernal storytelling, but its defeats can feel brutal
From the developer of King of Dragon Pass, a gorgeously imagined meat grinder for hapless adventuring parties.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
"Thousand Hells boasts some truly best-in-class procedural storytelling, but it's content to subject me to back-to-back miseries without recourse."
pcgamer.com
Thousand Hells is a 'tactical narrative' feast of infernal storytelling, but its defeats can feel brutal
From the developer of King of Dragon Pass, a gorgeously imagined meat grinder for hapless adventuring parties.
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Evan Greer @evangreer.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Age verification makes everyone less safe. Age verification makes everyone less safe. Age verification makes everyone less safe. Age verification makes everyone less safe. Age verification makes everyone less safe. Age verification makes everyone less safe.
techdirt.com
Hackers Had A Live Feed Of Every ID This Verification Company Scanned. For Over A Year.
From the very beginning of this recent obsession with identifying everyone online (yes, they like to call it "age" verification, but it always ends up as identity verification), we've been pointing out that it was a huge privacy nightmare waiting to happen. Or maybe it wasn't waiting. Maybe it was already happening. This week a...
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
When asked how many incidents had been reported, whether compensation has been investigated or offered to exhibitors whose equipment was stolen, and what forms of vetting and oversight security staff are subject to, Gamescom PR referred PC Gamer to its two published statements about the incidents.
pcgamer.com
'That criticism is justified': Gamescom apologizes for its callous response to developer hardware thefts
Gamescom said it is "committed to jointly reviewing and further improving security," but doesn't mention any compensation for affected exhibitors.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
"As Microsoft flails for a remedy to the reputational damage it's earned through repeated mass layoffs, bungled industry consolidation strategies, and its partnership with Israeli surveillance agencies, [Xbox] is returning to a favorite page from its playbook in recent years: Hiking service costs."
pcgamer.com
Microsoft announces cap on Xbox Cloud Gaming hours for Game Pass subscribers, admits most aren't using it much anyway
Gotta find revenue wherever you can, I guess.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
"Early impressions of the Boost Bracer as being 'a thing on your arm that makes your attacks go crazy' seem right on the money."
pcgamer.com
Monster Hunter Wilds: Ascendance's new combat gimmick is putting some Devil May Cry stink on hitting dinosaurs with hammers
Welcome back, Impact Crater.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
brother I don't have any use for a ranking of which websites think the same shit as everyone else, but if that's how you want to live your life I can't stop you
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
"After creating your pilot-self by choosing from a selection of pilot-core faces and features, you can mill around with your fellow pilot-kin, communicating via a rich gestural pilot dialect of emotes. (...) For these creatures, it is a sort of eden."
pcgamer.com
Sick: Ace Combat 8 has online airbase lobbies where you can bum around as your own bespoke pilotsona
Unfortunately, it also has battle passes. War is hell.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I'm sure Bluesky hacked off most of that headline on mobile, so:
PC Gamer headline: "Dwarf Fortress creator says we can learn something from simply walling up dwarf nobles to maintain an equal society—but notes you have to abolish the dwarf cops, too: 'Another lesson to be had there'"
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
"After creating your pilot-self by choosing from a selection of pilot-core faces and features, you can mill around with your fellow pilot-kin, communicating via a rich gestural pilot dialect of emotes. (...) For these creatures, it is a sort of eden."
pcgamer.com
Sick: Ace Combat 8 has online airbase lobbies where you can bum around as your own bespoke pilotsona
Unfortunately, it also has battle passes. War is hell.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I'm sure Bluesky hacked off most of that headline on mobile, so:
PC Gamer headline: "Dwarf Fortress creator says we can learn something from simply walling up dwarf nobles to maintain an equal society—but notes you have to abolish the dwarf cops, too: 'Another lesson to be had there'"
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
"'Where'd EA go? It's been purchased. So we didn't have a wall there,' Adams said. 'Could have had a wall. Didn't have a wall. Many such cases.'"
pcgamer.com
Dwarf Fortress creator says we can learn something from simply walling up dwarf nobles to maintain an equal society—but notes you have to abolish the dwarf cops, too: 'Another lesson to be had there'
Much to consider.
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Joshua Wolens @joshuawolens.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
i also got to have the surreal experience of a dev trying to convince me their game actually wasn't very interesting www.pcgamer.com/games/action...
pcgamer.com
Nekome: Nazi Hunter is about gleefully butchering fascists in Germany and America, but its devs swear it's not political
Nekome is an interesting, politically bold game, even if its studio tried to convince me it isn't.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
"In the week I've spent revisiting Star Wars Galaxies, I've seen very little other excitement. I've killed no impressive enemies. I've done barely any quests. It's an MMO that's content to let me log in and do little of note whatsoever—and that's exactly what I've been missing."
pcgamer.com
I want MMOs to waste our time again
I've accomplished very little on a Star Wars Galaxies private server, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
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Boatsim Boosterism @beasmeeply.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
You should be able to queue 120 crafting recipes for this reason. Fishing should be the #1 money making activity. The lessons have been learned but not heeded
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Will Borger @edgarallanbro.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
This was just kinda how a lot of MMOs Used to Be. It was great. You were A Guy in a Larger World. And then everything became a theme park where you were The Most Important Person in the Universe All the Time. There’s a place for that, but it's less interesting when that's all there is.
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Alex Donaldson @apzonerunner.com · 30/08/2026
I think this is a major differentiator between the FFs, also. Part of what I love about 11, especially in its earlier years, is that you are not a chosen one or whatever at the centre of the universe, just some scrub trying to eke out and existence in a relatively harsh world
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Harper Jay @dreamcastaway.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
I spent a lot of time last summer on a SWG server and while *that* time was spent on a lot of adventuring I do appreciate how much of that game could be spent as a chef or musician. Hard for me to think of a game that pushed players to interact with each other quite as successfully as SWG!
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
"In the week I've spent revisiting Star Wars Galaxies, I've seen very little other excitement. I've killed no impressive enemies. I've done barely any quests. It's an MMO that's content to let me log in and do little of note whatsoever—and that's exactly what I've been missing."
pcgamer.com
I want MMOs to waste our time again
I've accomplished very little on a Star Wars Galaxies private server, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
913027
lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
"It's an incredibly ambitious endeavor. It's taken a decade. It's demanded a complete scripting overhaul, aided by the heroic effort of Bay 12 Games' first non-Adams programmer, Putnam. Frankly, it's almost strained believability. And it'll start arriving later this year."
pcgamer.com
Holy crap, it's happening: Dwarf Fortress gets its first Myth and Magic update later this year, bringing each player's world its own procedural magic system
"Everything that makes fantasy what it is—with every piece tied into how that particular universe works, down to its bones."
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marina grlica 🌱 @dovesplants.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
see you space cowboy tim curry
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
This just seems irresponsible during a hardware shortage crisis, is all I'm saying:
pcgamer.com
God help us, they overclocked Mega Man
That's going to void a warranty for sure.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
geoff keighley
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
"In a fresh pair of GTA 6 gameplay uploads, the world's most wanted allium has descended to a new low of sheer saucelessness as they seek additional funds for their alleged 'operational costs.'"
pcgamer.com
GTA 6 leaker goes full cornball in newest videos, insists 'using crypto is the only way'
Man, give it a rest.
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
what the hell
"Mecca of cricket
this usually refers to the Lord's cricket ground, also known as the Home of Cricket.""Michelle
See five-wicket haul.""Negative bowling""Olympic
Five consecutive ducks."
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
happy monday
PC Gamer headline:
Latest GTA 6 leak confirms full dong
By Lincoln Carpenter
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lincoln carpenter @lincolnhello.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
grocery shopped for the first time in a couple weeks this morning thanks to [unspecified life events], and was acutely aware of the clattering of the Diarrhea Dice whenever I put produce in my cart
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