Chutney Carmichaels
@chutneycarmichaels.bsky.social
197 followers 105 following 1.2K posts
If there's a smile on my face, it's only there to fool the public. I like funny stuff. I used to be @jimbofluffytail on twitter
If there's a smile on my face, it's only there to fool the public. I like funny stuff. I used to be @jimbofluffytail on twitter
![cartoon for the guardian by Stephen Collins - script as follows:
[Scene is a darkened LOFT. Amongst the boxes and junk are FOUR KNACKERED OLD FANS - three tower fans and one circular, with cracked grey plastic and buttons missing. One fan, TOWER FAN 1, is a bit taller than the others, and is addressing them]
1
TOWER FAN 1:
Right lads, get ready.
2
TOWER FAN 1:
This is our time.
3
TOWER FAN 1:
The time when we remember who we are, and why we’re here.
4
TOWER FAN 1:
We are the four crap fans in a British person’s loft,
and we are here to make absolutely no difference whatsoever.
5
TOWER FAN 1:
I know what you’re
thinking, lads:
6
TOWER FAN 1:
Surely this will be the year they finally replace us?
7
TOWER FAN 1:
Our plastic’s gone all brown... I haven’t oscillated since 2018...
8
TOWER FAN 1:
Dave here sounds like a spitfire and blows like a sad cat’s sigh…
TOWER FAN 2:
Cheers mate
9
TOWER FAN 1:
But no. These people are British, and every year, they forget the sun exists.
By the time they remember,
new fans will cost *four million pounds* on Amazon.
10
TOWER FAN 1:
So we’ll be back down there... shovelling thick air across the moaning faces of a species that cannot comprehend the concept of air conditioning, or even just closing the curtains when it’s hot out...
11
TOWER FAN 1:
...while they incessantly bang on about normally hot countries which this country is now temporarily a bit hotter than.
12
[The loft hatch opens and a person comes up the ladder]
PERSON:
APPARENTLY IT’S HOTTER THAN GREECE, LISA](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidbpfu2ioghspjcg4xitzv655jzjwp5lgxk5hi3ag7sechgh222ze)
