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Ben Allain 🥌

@benallain.bsky.social
46 followers 27 following 207 posts

My other car is another car that has a sticker that says my other car is this car. 🦅 & 🍁

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Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 07/10/2026
Spectrum Allocation xkcd.com/3307/
Comic: Modern Spectrum Allocation Chart. [Long line of rectangles of different widths in shades of gray. From top to bottom: radio (shouting), TV test patterns, 1G cellular, radio (music), radio (static), reserved for zeppelin navigation, TV channels 2, 5, 7-13, 16, 17, and 28 with 2G cellular in between, interference, WKRP in Cincinnati, spaceship beeps, all other TV, car dealership ads, numbers stations, weather balloons, amateur radio, HAM radio, “weather balloons”, *Choosing Texas* 24/7, [extra large rectangle] boat captains say they need this for something and we don’t ask what because they’re scary, the secret radio waves that make planes stay up, defunct satellite phone company, radioastronomy, radioastrology, [extra small rectangle] all modern wireless infrastructure, death rays, LoFi hip hop beats to relax/study to, security guard walkie talkies, amateur military satellites, left open in case aliens try to call, one brand of garage door openers with a lot of political pull.]
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Tim Carmody @tcarmody.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This is the funniest thing I've seen today, possibly ever
A tweet by SarahStarberry that says "oh god read the vertical axis" on top of a chart measuring AI models' release dates and model numbers rather than any real capabilities
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i wish baseball teams could resolve their differences without resorting to baseball
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Man this post is for such a niche cross-section of the universe I happen to be in it
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Tao of Stieb @taoofstieb.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
People will tell you that it is fun to be angry about sports. That it’s an outlet, and a way to let off steam. I’m telling you that sports anger isn’t a release valve. It’s a heaping shovel of coal into the furnace. If you are angry about sports, you’re probably angry about everything else.
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I say it like this every time I'm cooking. Thanks a lot John Mulaney
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LearnedLeague @learnedleague.com · 23/09/2026
1. Identify the current member of the U.S. Cabinet who appeared on MTV's The Real World: Boston in 1997, and later competed in Log Rolling and Speed Climbing at the ESPN Great Outdoor Games in the early 2000s. IN A SANE WORLD, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO. #LL110 #bestwronganswers
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
None of them on May 3rd, unfortunately
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Suss-- 🥌 @suss2hyphens.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
vote for medicare for all and you get way more than that
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
hello im the CEO and i can’t do anything without the support of the simpering vizier that lives in the computer. in order to keep collecting an offensively meager paycheck you too must consult the vizier regularly. don’t worry he has lots of uses other than just hopefully putting you out of a job
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OptaJack @optajack.optajoe.com · 06/09/2026
2 - @denversummitfc.bsky.social has recorded as many wins over Gotham FC this regular season as all other #NWSL teams combined (2). Kryptonite.
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Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 04/09/2026
Geology Class xkcd.com/3292/
4-panel comic. (1) [Person with ponytail addressing students seated at desks.] PERSON 1 with ponytail: Welcome to Geology 201. Today we’ll be review-bombing Applebees. (2) [Person 1 points to board on wall.] PERSON 1: Tomorrow we’ll do Costco and Sephora. PERSON 2: Why? PERSON 1: If we cut traffic to the Northgate Shopping Center, it will go to the East Plaza instead. (3) [Board shows map.] This will push the state to cancel the North Bridge Project and shift funds to the Highway 2 Extension... (4) ...creating new roadcuts through Triassic shale. PERSON 2: I *like* Applebees. PERSON 1: Then you should have told the city to approve my dig permit.
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Shiv Ramdas Mens Rice Activist @nameshiv.bsky.social · 04/09/2024
4 yrs ago today, a family member managed a truly spectacular own goal, splintered his domestic bliss, & in the process, united the world for a day. On popular request, I shall now recreate the livetweet thread from that day So gather around children, for this is the tale of The Rice Truck Saga
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I had "pocket" in my head right up until I read the word "curling". Went back and forth over it but ultimately reasoned that Thorsten is probably not a curler, found it somewhere, and also that "freeze the pocket" could be a reasonable call in context. Agree it's not standard in my neck of the woods
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Niece/dog/pig is a spinster, niece/dog/pig is a spinster, niece/dog/pig is a spinster, WHAT WHAT WHAT
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Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 02/09/2026
Trade xkcd.com/3290/
Comic. [Person standing holding hammer above raised knee.] PERSON: Listen up, leg. I’ve been sending you rich, oxygenated blood for years, while you send me worthless used-up blood with no oxygen. Time to teach you a lesson about not ripping me off! [caption] Tariffs
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Mark Watson @watsoncomedian.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Social media often feels like you're at a loud party talking about zebras and someone wanders up drunk going 'I couldn't help overhearing you were talking about zebras, have you seen that film' and after 8 minutes it turns out they mean The Lion King and they're thinking of hyenas.
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
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Suss-- 🥌 @suss2hyphens.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Welcome to the commercial break. There are only three products left you can buy: drug, gambling, or car insurance
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
If world curling was worth anything they would have put a little Easter egg in the white space after the new sentence, with white text that says "you can fuck off" when you highlight it
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Emily L. Hauser (she/her) ❌👑 @emilylhauser.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
"We should never forget that Dolly Parton chose not to be a billionaire."
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Some people are so universally beloved that I think we shouldn’t be told when they die. Let us figure it out eventually but never receive confirmation. We should always be able to idly speculate that somehow there’s a chance they *could* still be alive
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Katie Mack @astrokatie.com · 24/08/2026
If you’re not potty trained by now you don’t get to be in the pool with the rest of us and we’re not gonna have a civilized debate about it while the water fills up with your filth.
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
As @notjustbikes.com often says -- bike lanes are an example of *car-centric* infrastructure. If cyclists weren't so desperately in need of being protected from vehicles and their drivers, bike lanes would be unnecessary
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
The most frustrating thing is that my intersection constantly has people fully running the stop signs, people driving fast at all hours of the day and night, frequent accidents...and despite many many complaints the city (Denver) has done nothing to make it safer. This is just the latest event
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
As someone who lives in a major city and whose house was smashed into by a car roughly 12 hours ago, I concur
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Frankenbert Graveyardko @albertburneko.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Professional Manipulator Of Journalists Nice And Accommodating To Journalist, Says Journalist
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Suss-- 🥌 @suss2hyphens.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
hooooooooooooool
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Brady Klopfer @bradyklopfer.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
The legend Robin Lopez
Tweet from Robin Lopez that reads: Biggest issue: if you’re being drafted, people are saying “we want you around for 4 years” & I can’t imagine anybody wants Enes Kanter or Royce White around them for even 4 minutes. We’ve seen this illustrated whenever Enes is near Turkey or Royce comes close to logic/reality
Robin Lopez responding to Royce white. White says: lol join the club ROBIN … I’ll slap your big goofy ass, bitch slap you like pootie tang! I will fight over these trans rights.

Lopez responds: yes we get it you love slapping people with women’s names
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Jeff Sharlet @jeffsharlet.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
WaPo making same claim that’s been disproven again & again. Who do they imagine these people are, willing to pay the price of abandoning home, friends, lives they’ve built. “Sorry, kids, we’re leaving the only home you’ve ever known & all our friends to pay 7% state tax instead of 8%.”
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
First they came for the ex-diplomats living overseas with a multi-million dollar inheritance, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a whiny baby
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A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Musk should be forced to use his personal wealth to clean it up. Clean the moon, you dead eyed haddock-faced bitch. What do you mean it's too hard? you were going to have a city living on Mars as soon as 8 years ago. Do it by Tuesday.
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Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
That's what taxes are, man. That's the definition of taxes. "You are subsidizing things you might never use" man shut the fuck up. My taxes currently subsidize like oil company exec private jets, you think I'm upset at low-income people eating inexpensive bananas?
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Congratulations!
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聖☆Alex Degen @adactivity.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
When the Siberian Bacteria with Stem Placenta Baby Drips $165,000 hits
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Michael Hobbes @michaelhobbes.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Good-faith concern on this issue would be going, "hmm, professional sports leagues should probably have some standards in place to ensure trans competitors aren't getting an unfair advantage," googling for 5 minutes, realizing every sports league already has those standards and dropping it.
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Adam Serwer @adamserwer.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
It is genuinely bizarre that we’ve become acclimatized to right wingers throwing a tantrum every time a black person (particularly a black woman) is cast in something, but are also supposed to pretend that this is not racism but related to some other substantive concern.
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
LMFAO. Personally I feel this says less about his gardening experience (which is clearly zero) and is more telling about the obvious fact that the guy has never shopped at or eaten a tomato from a store Grocery store tomatoes are GARBAGE But he's all "look at me and how relatable I am"
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Matt Ufford @mattufford.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
this is the best concert featuring Madonna, the Muppets, BTS, and Shakira sponsored by Topps that I've ever seen
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No Escalators @noescalators.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Four quarters and a halftime show we did it baby
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Show Pussy On Regular TV @turdguy.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
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Shiv Ramdas Mens Rice Activist @nameshiv.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
counterpoint: the dead should make it harder for me to speak ill of them
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
I want this in and/or around my mouth
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ceej @ceej.online · 09/07/2026
being in the DSA is fun because you get to spend most of your time helping people with social anxiety canvass for democratic school board candidates and then go online to see people with blue wave emojis in their bios compare you to pol pot
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Ben Allain 🥌 @benallain.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
100% agree. There are somewhere between 50 and one billion graphic designers that are curlers. Fuckin ask one of them! Buy them a beer if you have to!
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kyleayers.bsky.social @kyleayers.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Not saying that game was stolen from Egypt but it is now on display at museum in London.
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Max Berger @maxberger.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
That’s what happens when you get rid of the department of defense
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DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
haha, thats a great post. unfortunately you phrased it in a way that allowed me, a moron, to misunderstand it
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Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
America was never going to truly become a Soccer Nation until we strong-armed FIFA in a completely corrupt transaction that benefits us at the expense of the concept of fairness. So, congrats to us!
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