Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 11hWhen I was in high school I had a friend who would buy an order of plain lort from a local Cambodian place and then leave them around places. She called it lorting. 050
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Sounds easy. Wahn, meleven, fournty-fourn, snerb. 130
Reposted by Aspartame Valeriandonni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Everybody in the club getting sad about the future 313328
Reposted by Aspartame Valeriansummerghost @asummerghost.bsky.social · 05/09/2026fall gathering. #caturday © jamie shelman 07314
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I just betrayed my beloved.* *Dropped Pip off at the groomers 060
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 25/09/2026The Incredibly Empathetic Detective in the Case of the Misunderstood Murderer 140
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Have decided to give it all up and become a Cheesoid cheese-detecting robot. 030
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 24/09/2026I see. You all think you're better than me. 030
Reposted by Aspartame ValerianDaniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 23/09/2026INSTEAD OF: "I hate your guts." TRY: "You've beautiful guts." INSTEAD OF: "Put up your dukes." TRY: "Wrap those beautiful dukes around me." 021
Reposted by Aspartame ValerianJohnny Normality @probgobl.in · 21/09/2026Doctors hate me for my one simple health trick: I have the head of a jackal and attack them in their homes. 05613
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 21/09/2026static.klipy.comIf You Know What I Mean Vince FishAlt: Gif of Richard Kind saying, “If you know what I mean.” 010
Reposted by Aspartame ValerianAtlas Misery @piegoblin.bsky.social · 21/09/2026For when you need to be fancy but also look like you're an odd-toed ungulate. 6293
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 20/09/2026My biscuits and gravy levels have become critically low. 0123
Reposted by Aspartame ValerianStella Sacco @antlervel.vet · 15/10/2025WHEN THERE’S TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Oh wow. Yes, very clever! Waterfall treasure! No one’s ever done that before. Lazy jackass WHEN THERE’S NO TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Wow. Too stuck-up to put treasure there huh? Too much of a fucking ICONOCLAST for that? Piece of shit. FUCK you 144103082964
Reposted by Aspartame ValerianA.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I feel like the disgust and disappointment I felt seeing Andie's prom dress at the end of Pretty in Pink is what helped prepare me for reading the news since 2016. 59430
Reposted by Aspartame ValerianKip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 19/09/2026No dice. I’m looking for broken in baby shoes. 3287
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Why did god make ducks so cute AND so tasty? 3142
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Just saw @joshgondelman.bsky.social and the show was terrific. Highly recommend catching him live, if you get the chance. 2100
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 18/09/2026He forgot to put on his orb-me-not charm this morning. 021
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Me spotting Dark City on a streaming platform: Oh fuck, Dark City. 050
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Entering a spicy pickle potato chip fugue state. Someone come let the dog out. 040
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 12/09/2026It was 53 degrees when I woke up. I’m making chili. 050
Reposted by Aspartame ValerianMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 12/09/2026Happy birthday, Ludacris! buff.ly/Y7KmxCRmcsweeneys.netPlace I’ve Cried or Place Ludacris Claims He Had Sex in His Song “What’s Your Fantasy”?1. A public bathroom 2. The back of a classroom 3. The Georgia Dome on the fifty-yard line while the Dirty Birds kick for t’ree 9/11/26 0375
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Gonna start a BlueSky account listing everything in Reacher’s pockets. Today: mint-flavored toothpick, keys for a Toyota Tercel, Goody’s Powder sachet, Andy Capp’s Hot Fries, temporary tattoo of a pair of lips. 181
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 09/09/2026Seeing the MST3K reunion show at the Boston Common AMC. If this building collapses the GenX nerd community here may never recover. 190
Reposted by Aspartame ValerianAspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Labor Day is short for Labor-atory day and it celebrates mad scientists. 0142
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Labor Day is short for Labor-atory day and it celebrates mad scientists. 0142
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 07/09/2026I finished Rachel Harrison’s new book, KISS, SLAY, REPLAY and while I was initially dubious of the groundhog-day-like plot it was some really fun horror. If you’re looking for a Halloween book you might try it. 010
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 06/09/2026How can a five pound dog make so much noise licking her bits? 2163
Reposted by Aspartame ValerianThoughtbarf @thoughtbarf.bsky.social · 06/09/2026You go ahead and have that 4th coffee. There's people out there doing crack. 39875113
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Oops I did it again (bought a dress for a wedding I’ll probably never wear again) 070
Reposted by Aspartame ValerianMoira Donegan @moiradonegan.bsky.social · 03/09/2026My Steinem obit: www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...theguardian.comGloria Steinem personified America’s feminist movement | Moira DoneganThe activist made the movement mainstream – and became a receptacle for its hopes and disappointments 818044
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 04/09/2026My mother puts up boxes of lemongrass around her porch to create a sense of privacy from the public park next door and I think it’s clever and effective, especially by the end of summer. 1152
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 01/09/2026Me on Sept 1: *photo of a pile of leaves with glasses perched on top* 070
Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 31/08/2026The unique disappointment of an unsweet sweet potato. 130