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Asher Langton

@asherlangton.bsky.social
5.5K followers 648 following 7.9K posts

Malicious software researcher. Technical debt collector. Aspiring woodturner. Former bus driver. He/him. Durham, NH.

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Asher Langton
Kashana @kashana.blacksky.app · 7h
I read a couple hundred death penalty cases for a case once and I think you’d all be shocked at how often this happens. The death penalty is one of the cruelest things in our system, an obvious violation of the 8th amendment cruel and unusual punishment clause, but we just love to kill.
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Corey Rayburn Yung @coreyryung.bsky.social · 16h
LOLOLOL.
The investigation into President Donald Trump, codenamed “Arctic Frost,” which is a type of orange and was chosen to mock Trump’s complexion, served as the vehicle for Defendant Smith to exercise his unauthorized powers and to conspire with others to violate the constitutional and civil rights of Senator Blackburn, as well as other Republicans and Trump supporters.
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 21h
7 years ago. (Now, as they start the college application process, I regret teaching them to read for an entirely different reason!)
Facebook post from me, 9/30/2019:
Starting to regret teaching them how to read and write.

[Picture of a half-eaten tray of rice krispie treats with a hand-written note: "STOP eating so much Rice Krispie Treats, DAD!"
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 21h
I woke up this morning with only the line "Sadly, I no longer was" rattling around in my brain and it took me about 20 minutes to figure out that this is where it came from.
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Kelly @justkelly.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The Cornell victim has been doxxed on X. So worried for her. I hate this planet.
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Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 29/09/2026
holy shit -- turns out Jack Smith went to a Hawkeyes game in Maryland but Schmitt's team is so reckless they concocted a conspiracy theory that Smith was actually in Atlanta seeing a Hawks game and colluding with Fani Willis. Klobuchar points out to Schmitt, "you have your teams wrong."
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Ketan Joshi @ketanjoshi.co · 28/09/2026
Noting that this isn't definitively confirmed but very likely Jacob Coxon's former Twitter account, here's what he has to say about climate change. The world's media hung off every single word uttered by this one guy for two weeks
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Luigi Vandone
@punishedhilbert
·
May 4, 2022
one sign that everybody worried about climate change is rabidly meme-ridden and beyond reason is that NO-ONE I speak to will concede that there might be *positive consequences* if the planet gets hotter. why it all gotta be bad? unlivable areas -> habitable? massive insects? idk
Recovered quote excerpt; text may be incomplete.


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Luigi Vandone
@punishedhilbert
·
May 4, 2022
it's literally 2020 already. look at climate change headlines from the 1970s then look around. nothing is happening. use your eyes twitter.com/punishedhilbert/status/1521997402005295109
Luigi Vandone
@punishedhilbert
·
May 4, 2022
one sign that everybody worried about climate change is rabidly meme-ridden and beyond reason is that NO-ONE I speak to will concede that there might be *positive consequences* if the planet gets hotter. why it all gotta be bad? unlivable areas -> habitable? massive insects? idk
Recovered quote excerpt; text may be incomplete.


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Luigi Vandone
@punishedhilbert
·
May 4, 2022
you shouldn't even want to save the rainforest. the rainforest is a festering pit. nature is constantly screaming. animals are being tortured and eaten alive. there is more beauty and compassion in an abandoned McDonalds. the rainforest is gay twitter.com/punishedhilbert/status/1521998660636221444
Luigi Vandone
@punishedhilbert
·
May 4, 2022
it's literally 2020 already. look at climate change headlines from the 1970s then look around. nothing is happening. use your eyes twitter.com/punishedhilbert/status/1521997402005295109
Recovered quote excerpt; text may be incomplete.


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Luigi Vandone
@punishedhilbert
·
May 5, 2022
all the decent climate change papers say something like "rising Co2 will lead to an unknown rainfall increase over the next century with mean 30% and high variance".

maybe this will reduce the ant population from 10 to 7, but the humans have 100 years to buil…L
Luigi Vandone
@punishedhilbert
·
May 5, 2022
i don't want to single out climate change unfairly.

"dark matter" is fraud and the Large Hadron Collider is a money-laundering scheme. string theory is bullshit.

the entire discipline of 'geography' is made-up. 

six million is a palpable taunt. Charlemagne didn't exist. twitter.com/punishedhilbert/status/1522006292449087488
Luigi Vandone
@punishedhilbert
·
May 5, 2022
having unrestricted access to TikTok before the age of 16 immolates the soul. the algorithm is optimised to render users reptilian. the pituitary starts releasing Chinese hormones, all that's left is a hypothalamus, deformed spinal cord and goo-goo phrases like "climate change" twitter.com/punishedhilbert/status/1522004172144615427
Recovered quote excerpt; text may be incomplete.bembejo
@hilbertspaess
·
Jan 1, 2022
you are retardedtwitter.com/alex_avoigt/status/1476871881324212226
Alex
@alex_avoigt
·
Dec 31, 2021
Today, on the last day of 2021, 3 more nuclear reactors will be shut down in 🇩🇪 Germany & in 12 months the last 3

Nuclear energy is expensive, causes CO2 & pollution (e.g. uranium mining), severe accidents & there is not a single repository to store the waste for 1 million years pic.twitter.com/l1MsChnmrw

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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
God Hates Enchanted Oreo Blizzards
FB post:

Braughler’s Dairy Queen (99 E Wylie Ave, Washington, PA)
18 hours ago
Some of you may have noticed that DQ’s menu and promotions for this month have taken a darker turn. The Braughler’s do not support this type of advertising. We have been known to all of you and the Washington County Community as a Christian establishment that stands for integrity and family values. We feel at this time that we must stand for our convictions by not selling the special menu items and merchandise this month. So we do not have the new blizzard of the month, the sparkler drink, nor the plushies at this time. We will still sell your other fall favorite, the pumpkin pie. Thank you for understanding and standing with us during this season.

[promo pics of the Enchanted Oreo Blizzard and Bubble Brew DQ Sparkler, with large CANCELED text across them=
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David Shiffman, Ph.D. 🦈 @whysharksmatter.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I had thought a lot about how AI slop would make fake ones more likely and had perhaps insuffiiently considered how climate change might make real ones more likely
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Well *this* ought to shake things up!
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Chuck Tingle @chucktingle.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
please enjoy brand new tingler NOT POUNDED BY THIS FLOCK CAMERA BECAUSE SOMEONE CUT IT DOWN. HUH, INTERESTING. I WONDER WHO COULD’VE DONE THAT? out now here www.amazon.com/dp/B0HL6WHFVV and on buckaroo patreon www.patreon.com/chucktingle/...
cover of NOT POUNDED BY THIS FLOCK CAMERA BECAUSE SOMEONE CUT IT DOWN. HUH, INTERESTING. I WONDER WHO COULD’VE DONE THAT? on the right there is a concerned ladybuck with her hands up in a gesture of NO WAY BUD and on the left is an angry lookin sentient flock camera
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
If you don’t consume the exact same media I consume, you live in a bubble and should probably be aware of that.
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Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The BEST part of getting old (and there are many) is that you can ABSOLUTELY miss something wildly popular. Zooshas just flying by while you’re admiring someone’s sensible shoes or whatever. Bliss.
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ROUSes? I don't think they exist @rabblerous.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
The thing about this person is that they're frequently full of shit. Their Wikipedia source says: "A myth persists that the initial batch of Iron Rings was made from the beams of [...] a bridge that collapsed during construction [...] due to poor planning and design by the overseeing engineers."
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I’m genuinely baffled as to why this matters. I’ve interviewed a lot of people and never once cared about whether they brought in a coffee or a bottle of water.
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Transphobes Can't Read @lordaslan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
This comes from a dumbass website called "He Cheated. Com" which says that trans people have a biological advantage in Chess, disc golf and darts.
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
what is in the water over there that makes these dunderheads fall for shit like this?
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Erin Reed @erininthemorning.com · 25/09/2026
Glad to see this update from Parker Molloy. She has been under tremendous stress and was dealing with difficult shit, as have all of us in this space, but her especially so. www.readtpa.com/p/trainwreck
readtpa.com
Trainwreck
Old habits, especially embarrassing ones, die hard.
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
That's right, Alan Ritchson.
Alan Ritchson as Anders Lassen saying "I'm not leaving until I have a barrel full of Nazi hearts."
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K. Thor Jensen @kthorjensen.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Ladies and gentlemen, we have "cancelled."

Taylor Lorenz
@TaylorLorenz
I know I got cancelled for it but I stand firm that X is back. This platform is where the most influential people post about tech, media, business.
(quoted post is about Jeffrey Katzenberg posting on Twitter for the first time???)
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Yeah, this ain't it. www.nhpr.org/politics/202...
nhpr.org
NH Libertarian Party endorses ‘assassination’ of elected Democrats
The state Libertarian Party has issued repeated calls for political violence in social media posts.
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c0nc0rdance @c0nc0rdance.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
The Dallas Zoo & Fort Worth Zoo, both wonderful programs, are working with Texas Parks & Wildlife to restore wild populations of Texas horned lizards (Phrynosoma cornutum) via zoo breed & release programs. 2026 is already a RECORD year: > 1000 lizards released, with documented wild-born babies.
A gloved human hand holds a round plastic container like you might put a salad in, but there are teeny-tiny horned lizards all alert looking and fierce inside.

"Aaand off they go!
Yesterday, 116 Texas horned lizards started their exciting journey to be released into the wild. Our team has worked tirelessly since their hatching to ensure these little ones are fully prepped and ready for this big moment. Stay tuned for more details on their release!
Our Texas horned lizard conservation program is a collaborative effort with Texas Parks and Wildlife, Rolling Plains Quail Research Foundation, and several of our dedicated zoo partners."An adult horned toad sitting in sandy dirt in West Texas, with a mix of native shrubs and non-native grasses in the background.  They're well camouflaged against the red-brown dirt, covered in spikes and watch the camera warily.
CREDIT:  Dallas Zoo
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gabriel @gironda.org · 22/09/2026
LLMs are making my entire professional cohort completely insane in many different ways and i think that's beautiful
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
www.nhpr.org/politics/202...
nhpr.org
NH Libertarian Party endorses ‘assassination’ of elected Democrats
The state Libertarian Party has issued repeated calls for political violence in social media posts.
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Scott Kelley Ernest 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️ @mxscottkernest.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I can't imagine why LPNH was disaffiliated with National...
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Kevin Tompkins @ktompkinsii.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
folks, don't be that person PLEASE, celebrate any wins when you get them, no mather how small they may seem... because we all deserve to be happy no matter what we do.
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Jamal Greene @jamalgreene.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I'd need to know more context than the bare indictment, but these statements seem on their face protected by the First Amendment, if they fall within the statute at all. (Which doesn't make your reminder wrong, of course.)
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Comfortably Numb @numb.comfortab.ly · 22/09/2026
Newsom is a dipshit, a thread:
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JP @jpbrammer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
So, uh, why would snipers need this much ammunition?
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Corey Rayburn Yung @coreyryung.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
From the official Dept of Education account on X, an endorsement of Bo French's racist tweet about Indian students at a University of Texas football game. Just awful.
A photo of a Texas football game with a largely white audience shown and the caption "Make college football great again."
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Don’t really love how a lot of the replies have skipped over “*forced* hormone therapy is bad” and jumped straight to “hormone therapy is bad”.
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Also this:
Bluesky mute section showing I’m muting “kegsbreath” forever.
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Radley Balko @radleybalko.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
UPDATE: Things are moving fast. The DA apparently now has a court order to conduct DNA testing on a pair of Duncan's underwear, and on Haley's diaper. These are both pieces of evidence they've already had for more than 30 years. This afternoon they told Allison Statham, Haley's mother, that she ...
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Hildur Knútsdóttir @hildur.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Okay, HUGE NEWS from Uggi. Presented to you in a picture thread.
Uggi the dog down at Reykjavík harbour
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
She comes back to tell me she's gone As if I didn't know that As if I didn't know my own bed As if I'd never noticed The way she brushed her hair from her forehead
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Karl Havoc saying he doesn't even want to be around anymore.
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Barred and Boujee aka Madiba Dennie @audrelawdamercy.blacksky.app · 17/09/2026
looking for something in one of my old articles and rediscovered this gem lol (im not above laughing at my own writing) ballsandstrikes.org/legal-cultur...
screenshotted excerpt from the linked article, with piece one sentence highlighted, beginning after the word 'vengeance.' excerpt reads as follows:

Sam Alito isn’t the only member of his household with a grudge against journalism, either. In another recording released by Windsor, also from the Supreme Court Historical Society event, Alito’s wife Martha-Ann suggested she is biding her time until her husband retires and she can sue members of the media for reporting on her (?) flag fanaticism. “There’s a five-year defamation statute of limitations,” she said with a laugh. “I’m gonna get them.” 

[embedded tweet of an undercover audio recording of Martha-Ann Alito, which includes her saying "I want a Sacred Heart of Jesus flag because I have to look across the lagoon at the Pride flag for the next month."]

Martha-Ann also launched into a spiel from an Inglorious Basterds deleted scene about how her national background has prepared her for vengeance: “Look at me. I’m German, from Germany,” said Martha-Ann, who is from Kentucky. [editor's note: lmao] “My heritage is German. You come after me. I’m gonna give it back to you.”
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Radley Balko @radleybalko.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I just got a frantic call from Allison Statham. She's the mother of Haley Oliveaux, the girl Chris Duncan was wrongly convicted of killing. She says the police are now at her door and demanding a DNA sample. They're threatening to arrest her.
radleybalko.substack.com
The framing of Chris Duncan: Part Two
“God doesn’t let innocent babies die for no reason. Somebody has to be punished.”
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Alex Winter @alexwinter.com · 16/09/2026
True story.
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
So no happy ending for Robert Kraft?
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
i'm not sure if robert kraft quite grasps what he started
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TW @twesq.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
ok yeah to hell with this turd
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
New Rule of Goats incoming.
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Chad C @chadc.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
This is particularly crazy when you see how many NFL venues are scheduled to host Kanye West, a guy who literally released a song about Hitler. Including two of the stadiums who threatened Sheeran! But he didn’t say anything good about Palestinians so it’s fine.
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Asher Langton @asherlangton.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
<looks at thumbnail image> Well, maybe he has a euphonious voice? <hits play> Oh. Oh no.
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evacide @evacide.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I'm sure lots of other people have said this, but if I worked for a company on a product that I thought had a >10% chance of killing all humans within the next decade and we had no plan for how to stop it, I would quit and devote myself full time to destroying this product.
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