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utsuseminokage.bsky.social

@utsuseminokage.bsky.social
108 followers 231 following 478 posts
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Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 16h
Wasn't Tom famous for never actually catching Jerry
GREENIX
MICE EXTERMINATION
Mice
We're the Tom to your Jerry. Leave the chase to us.
Schedule Online
Call Today
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
@CethanLeahy

Me: oh wow, this shop has everything my heart desires!

Spooky shopkeeper: yes, I will warn you... every item comes with a price.

Me: yes, I know how shops work

kittydesade

Spooky Shopkeeper: The price may be more than you expect to pay.

Me: Yes, I know how US taxes work, too.

del3141

Shopkeeper, increasingly exasperated: I'm trying to tell you that I'm evil and offering these wares with no regard for the harm they will do!

Me, also increasingly exasperated: I know what capitalism is too goddammit
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nicole🎃🕸️ @renaryuugu.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
remembering how the first sign of the modern AI chatbot that you see nowdays was this thing released on Twitter that became racist in one day and immediately had to shut down
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Dossier @docierro.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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chanceler anarcopetista @lestatwho.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
COMO VENCER O 2º TURNO eu recebi esse texto num pdf via whatsapp, achei o conteúdo interessante. não tá assinado, não sei quem produziu. avaliem e vejam o que faz sentido pra vocês :)
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Oglaf @oglaf.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
www.oglaf.com/damselfly/
Comic strip!

panel 1
a prince climbs through a window. A princess watches him enter.
Prince- Sure I could rescue you

Panel 2
Prince- but withing three months, ninety percent of rescued princesses are back inside a tower

Panel 3
Prince is really narrating this one now
Prince- at 'staircase down' we believe real change comes from accepting you're part of the problem

panel 4
Prince- and that's the most difficult part of the journey

panel 5
Princess- apart from the fire breath
Prince- The what?

Panel 6
Princess breathes fire, incinerating prince

Panel 7
Princess stands over smouldering prince skeleton

Panel 8
ghost of prince hovers over the smoking bones
Prince- I have to accept, on some level, that I needed that to happen
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utsuseminokage.bsky.social @utsuseminokage.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Abençoada seja a presidente da minha seção de votação. Cheguei naquele lugar apertado, cheio de gente falando alto, super convidativo a neurodivergente (sóquenão), fiquei na fila prioritária com meu cartão de identificação. Nem espero com minha irmã na fila (mesma seção e situação pior que a minha),
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Sarah Andersen @sarahseeandersen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
The image is of a four panel comic. The title reads "Poltergeist".
In the first panel we see a woman with a worried expression on her face. She says, "stuff keeps moving around my house."
In the second panel the same woman says "I'm terrified. I can't sleep."
In the third panel we see a ghost holding a candle and a pillow that reads "live laugh love". The ghost is zooming through the house.
In the fourth panel we see the same ghost hanging up a frame and thinking, "home decor is my passion".
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Alison @alisonbee.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Have a lovely weekend 🐑🐏
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Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Well, that's certainly uncomfortable. 😅🎃
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Caroleeena @caroleeena.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
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Raywat Deonandan 🍁🇨🇦 @deonandan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Caroleeena @caroleeena.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“Tarot Reader Girl - Optical Illusion Skull“ by Olga Beliaeva
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Transphobes Can't Read @lordaslan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
gm
A post that reads "Today I was talking to my dad
and I referred to myself as his
son(l'm genderfluid btw) and he
said
"Today's a Son day huh?"
And I was like "yeah"
And he was like "huh,I thought
today was a Saturday, not a
Sunday"
And 1 just laughed for like 5
minutes" 

The reply reads "diversity only makes dada stronger. More powerful. 

And one more " the dad jokes are evolving"
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Raywat Deonandan 🍁🇨🇦 @deonandan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Sarah Andersen @sarahseeandersen.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The image is of a four panel comic.
The first panel shows Sarah, the protagonist, working at a desk. A brain next to her says, "We need to take breaks!"
The second panel zooms in on Sarah's face. She is annoyed. She says, "What if I don't listen to you?"
The third panel shows the brain smiling.
The fourth panel shows the brain reaching towards a lever. The brain says, "I'LL MAKE YOU."
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Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
holy shit lmao
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Jesi🃏♠️🔥 @luciferjesit.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Look at this ferocious Pomeranian go. 😂🤣😂🥰
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Emily✨ @emilyoram.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Always a treat to be reminded of an old friend
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Hillbilly Highlander @hillhighlander.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
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Rhonda 🌊 @silverarticfox.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
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Alana @alanacassano.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
quando exatamente o fim da bet vai matar o futebol brasileiro? gostaria que fosse antes de acabar o campeonato
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Oglaf @oglaf.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
www.oglaf.com/goodideas/
Comic strip!
panel 1
a king with a long face speaks
king- okay, this might be really dumb but has anyone asked the crimson overlord to stop?

panel 2
we see that we're in some kind of war planning situation.
Well, there's a table with little figurines on it and a map.
so it's ether that or games night.
king- He's conquering and slaying but maybe he thinks we want that.

panel 3
general- Why would he think we want that?
king- probably he doesn't

panel 4
king- but a small group of heroes might make it up the dark tower and tell him we don't like it.

panel 5
general- You woud send those heroes to their deaths
king- aw come ooooon- send the worst four people in your army

panel 6
a shot of four adventurers.
one of them, who I'm going to call 'Rigby'speaks
Rugby- Cool. Secret mission.

panel 7
Rigby and friends battle monsters that are sort of like huge naked moke rats but with way more eyes.

panel 8
Rigby and friend battle their way into a doorway.

panel 9
close-up on Rigby
Rigby- Crimson Overlord! People don't like getting slain!

panel 10
green tyrant- you might have the wrong dark tower
Rigby- Shit
king-
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The Price of Reason @priceofreason.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
OKAY FINE YOU CAN HAVE A CHURU
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Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
In today's good news, Ed Sheeran tickets are now losing scalpers money.
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call634-5789 @call634-5789.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
FACTUAL A/F. Deal with it.
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Ulrike @ulidig.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
New cat species just dropped! www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/arti...
nationalgeographic.com
Meet the First New Cat Species Discovered in 100 Years
A small, spotted tiger cat from Bolivia may just be the beginning of a wave of new small cat species.
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Sally 🌻 @mamasallysocks.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
#DogDayTuesday
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Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Since we're all rightfully shitting on Ed Sheeran, don't forget this gem
'Excuse me, can I have another glass of wine'
'I'm Ed Sheeran'
'Ok Ed get me another glass'
Daily Mail Celebrity • @DailyMailCe...
Ed Sheeran gets mistaken for a waiter by Amy Lee at the #Grammys
dailym.ai/1zAZr2i
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Oglaf @oglaf.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
www.oglaf.com/dexterity/
Comic strip!
panel 1
some kind of angel seems angry
angel- You stand accused of crimes undermining the authority of heaven

panel 2
a man talks to the angel
man-I... sorry, me?
angel- Yes you!

panel 3
man- what are these crimes?
angel- finger-banging! How do you plead?

panel 4
man- Well I've done finger stuff but how does that undermine heaven?

panel 5
the angel shoots a hot stream of flashback out of its mouth.
Angels and do that. So can ghosts but that isn't relevant now.

panel 6
the man form before is performing finger sex on a lady
lady- right there- right there- keep going

panel 7
the lady is screaming now
land- Satan is lord!

panel 8
we pull out to see a duplicate of the man and the angel watching the sex.
man- Aw come on! She was totally like that already, it wasn't the fingering.

panel 9
the man and angel look at the room. It's decorated with pentagrams and devil skulls.

panel 10
angel- Yeah I really should have checked that sooner
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utsuseminokage.bsky.social @utsuseminokage.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Minha irmã adotou dois gatos e to passando o perrengue de novo que é achar vasilha de comida pra gato. O que tem de "vasilha pra gato" que vc olha e vê que é FUNDA é brincadeira. Povo que vende vasilha funda de comida pra gato nunca teve gato.
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utsuseminokage.bsky.social @utsuseminokage.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Acabei de ver o golpe do ano. Um cara tava fazendo um "teste de QI" na twicht, assim que acaba o teste de QI, a tela final de resultado: "Seu resultado está pronto! Pague 1$ agora para ter acesso ao resultado!"
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Kris Wilson @kriswilson.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
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Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 02/09/2026
Trade xkcd.com/3290/
Comic. [Person standing holding hammer above raised knee.] PERSON: Listen up, leg. I’ve been sending you rich, oxygenated blood for years, while you send me worthless used-up blood with no oxygen. Time to teach you a lesson about not ripping me off! [caption] Tariffs
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Once Upon A Time On The Internet @newgroundsdoc.newgrounds.com · 01/09/2026
23 YEARS AGO TODAY, @mrweebl.bsky.social posted BADGERS to @Newgrounds.com
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
A voice comes from City Hall saying "we're trying to get kids excited about public transportation, so we came up with a mascot." A man in a suit presents a large eyed bus mascot. He says "members of the transit commission, meet BUSSY." An advisor whispers in his ear. The man puts his faces in his hands and says "oooohh... the costume alone cost $32,000"
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Sarah Andersen @sarahseeandersen.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
The image is of a four panel comic.
The title above the first two panels reads, "Dog Toys".
The first panel shows Sarah, the protagonist, holding a bone shaped dog toy. She says, "Look!"
The second panel shows a dog wagging its tail. There is a speech bubble leading back to Sarah saying "It squeaks!"
The title above the last two panels reads, "Cat Toys".
In panel three we see Sarah again. She says "Come, child."
Panel four shows a cat raising its paws in glee. We see Sarah's hands holding cat nip. We see a speech bubble leading back to Sarah saying "It is time to do drugs".
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Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I might be going out on a hunch, but maybe the employer should pay a living wage to their staff.
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Transphobes Can't Read @lordaslan.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
gm
One guy says to another "leta settle this in a DRAG RACE" 

And then there's two cars.... 
And they're both in drag.
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utsuseminokage.bsky.social @utsuseminokage.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Optimist: The cup is half full Pessimist: The cup is half empty Physicist: The cup is full, half liquid, half air. Be glad it's not actually half empty. Best case, you'd be wet. Worst case, glass shards.
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Groggy @grogmeister.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac? A literalist takes things literally. A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 26/04/2024
The microwave demands sacrifice
Some dumbass set the microwave in the office to child mode so the buttons don’t work. I had to unplug it. 

Picture is of a microwave and the display says CH,LD

Reflection of headless me in the door with lunch in hand
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Stefscribbles @stefscribbles.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
watermlon
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Kari's Outside @karmapup.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
No one will ever gaslight me harder than my cat. Shut up hoe, I fed you 😭😭😭
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Sarah Andersen @sarahseeandersen.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
The image is of a four panel comic.
Panel one shows a bone. The bone says, "I make stem cells!"
Panel two shows a pancreas. The pancreas says, "I make insulin!"
Panel three shows the bone and pancreas and now a brain. The brain says "I make scenarios!"
Panel four shows the bone, pancreas, and brain. The brain is on fire.
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J. L. Westover @mrlovenstein.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
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Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Date: "So tell me something about yourself." Me: I like to call frozen burgers "brrrgers" Date: "I need to see other people."
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Safely Endangered @safelyendangered.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
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