iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anaesthetic. He said, 'Go ahead, knock yourself out.'

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I went to the pharmacy yesterday and asked the assistant if they had anything to disinfect the house after Covid. She said, 'Ammonia cleaner.' I said, 'Sorry, I thought you worked here ...'

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Gloria Gaynor invited six people round for an important dinner, but one pulled out. She said, 'After all this, I will serve five ...'

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I've just coughed up a queen, a rook, and a knight. The doctor says I have a chess infection ...

I've finally been cured of my obsession with buying boats. I was prescribed antibuyyachtics ...

Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The barman says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything ...'

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Groggy @grogmeister.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I went to the doctor's the other day to ask about my sore foot. The doctor said, 'Gout!' I said, 'But I've only just walked in!'

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Groggy @grogmeister.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Well, that was a day. My advice is be 27 rather than 67. Just sayin' ...

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19 days till we move house. That will be fun. I can't get my socks on ...

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Kinell. Yesterday, I had a diverticulitis attack (shitting my pants), *thinks - At least I can stay in bed tomorrow morning. Phone call from her indooors - I think I'm having a stroke. Hospital. Yes, you've had a small stroke. Back home. Red wine. Brandy. Autobiography. Night. x

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#NowPlaying Al Di Meola - The Infinite Desire

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Been sitting in Chesterfield A&E for nearly 4 hours. Care System? We need a fucking health system first. As you were ...

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#subtweet It turns out everything ended up being shite for her. Oh! Am I bovvered? Er, a bit, but not really. Bye. 💔🖐

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I'm going to have one more whisky. Then I'm gone. So, if you have any more questions, please present them in a sensible manner as soon as you're ready ...

I've paid into my pension all my working life. With a promise. And Labour are going to fuck with it. I AM SPEECHLESS. Burnham can fuck himself. Just sayin'

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Everyone is in bed ... tweet tweet ...

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I think I'm living an opposite life. I sleep all day and wake up at night. #dracula Show me your neck ...

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Just bomb the fuck out of the Kremlin ffs. You know it makes sense. The Vikings would say we're a bunch of puffs ...

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Worrying about moving all my stuff in 3 weeks into another house. And her indoors moving the same amount of stuff into the same house. Yet today, I cleaned a comb. And I'm bald ...

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Watching JM play the blues at about my level?? F'n weird man!

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Although I think his Doncaster accent may not be so prevalent these days ...

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There are now at least 4 adverts on TV where the person says 'sikth' meaning 'sixth'. I'm losing hope ... don't get me going on LIDDDEL - Liddle ....

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Yeah, I know. I've woken up. I've been in bed all day.

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My passport photo, before and after. Who says AI isn't the biz!

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So, has it been decided that moustaches in the UK are now cool? Or does it just apply to those 3 blokes who have one?

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This was an important bridge in my life. Between the old and the new ...

They're loving my timeline ...

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Thing is, when I was 30, how did everyone guess I was a Jethro Tull fan? It eludes me ..

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This is where the fridge freezer will be going in the new house. Just so you know ...

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My dad was born in Dublin (Grogan) and my mum's grandad was Irish (Kelly). I was born in Sheffield in 1959. Am I English? I have 2 passports ...

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So, who are the English? Romans? Icini? Saxons? Angles? Jutes? Danes? Normans? Jamaicans? Pakistanis? When is the line drawn? It's all bollocks. It's those with the sharpest word! #bbcqt

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It was to do with pensions, not immigration ...

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