Any experience of tracing items lost on a train going into London? 'Missing X' appears to be completely useless and designed to make it impossible to reunite items with owners. Other than getting a train to London any suggestions?
Toby Doubleu
@tobydoubleu.bsky.social
225 followers 547 following 204 posts
Loves live music, aging indie kid, snowsports, all things cycling plus active travel advocate, bit of a runner, sailing and other watersports, occasional climber, loves the mountains, bit of a geek, loves fixing stuff, eclectic taste in music
![[Scene is a JOB INTERVIEW. The bosses taking the interview are FATHER and MOTHER CHRISTMAS. In the chair across the desk from is the interviewee: RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER, sitting legs crossed. Rudolph is effusive and expressive with his hands / hooves.]
RUDOLPH:
...and in addition to my sleigh-pulling experience, l just genuinely love working with other reindeer. I mean I'm a real 'reindeer reindeer' you know? Haha!
FATHER CHRISTMAS [Looking delighted]:
Wonderful! Well, I think we've found our candidate...
So, uh...
Rudolph with your nose so bright...
...won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
[A chilly pause. We focus on Rudolph, who folds his arms, looks away in silent fury, his nose casting light about the room as he does so. He drags his eyes back to Father Christmas, his expression now of pure, cold contempt.]
RUDOLPH:
So this is about my nose.
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
One of my bulbs has gone.
RUDOLPH:
Go to Halfords!
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
It's closed till Tuesday.
RUDOLPH:
No, right, OK... I get it... this is like a narrative thing for you, isn't it?
[Rolling his eyes, gesticulating, getting more angry as he begins to rant]:
Like...powerful white male saves the shunned outsider by making a gimmick of their difference?
[We see Father and Mother Christmas looking awkward, a bit scared, askance at each other]
RUDOLPH:
So in your head, what, like, the other reindeer who've bullied me my whole life will suddenly start respecting Mr Fog Lamp up front?
[Rudolph is waving his hooves now]
I mean, I notice you haven't interviewed my AUNTY for this job. Rita the Red-Arsed Reindeer? She applied!
Her nose is even brighter than mine, but because the disease has spread to her ARSE she's not the right KIND of diversity mascot...
[Finally Rudolph stands up, knocking his chair backwards. Father Christmas looks shocked, Mother Christmas looks terrified.]
RUDOLPH:
This is BULLSHIT!
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
SECURITY...!
[A little Elf enters to tackle Rudolph]
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreie3mb32pphq6abkfu4w62sikexg3dtwyw3qgcrfdcwhoi3o7gbleu)
