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@swishymcjackass.bsky.social
182 followers 217 following 271 posts

Crazier than a rainbow trout in a car wash.

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
@coreyrforrester.bsky.social not to be that guy, but the TSwift song "Cleveland" isn't about people from Cleveland hating on her. Per my Swiftie fiancee, it's about how Travis is the perfect person for her, and she doesn't care that people think she can do better.
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Scott Nover @scottnover.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
BREAKING: TV pool will not be providing coverage of presidential events until further notice b/c of CNN's ban, pool chair and FOX News Washington Bureau Chief Bryan Boughton said. It's effectively a boycott by the fellow members — ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX: www.washingtonpost.com/business/202...
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Dolly Parton and my dad shared a birthday. January 19th. My dad died August 24th 2016. Ten years and one day later, the world loses Dolly. I am unwell.
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Blonde Dolly
ALT: Blonde Dolly
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
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Cody Tapp @codybtapp.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Getting Salvys HR ball by jumping in the fountain to only get arrested and have the ball taken away is perfect. Don’t say they don’t warn you
Person getting arrested at Kaufman in a Perez jerseySign warning people will be arrested for entering the fountain
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-𝚖𝚘𝚡 ☃︎ ❄︎ @moxiest.art · 16/07/2026
have been through a low pass like that by a Hornet. thankfully not with sand as a factor, and it was planned and expected. this video does not nearly convey how chaotic it is. it feels like you died. those are the only words for it. your body does not know how to process all of the sensory inputs.
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
AM I BEING DETAINED
Individual in work gloves (me), mostly just the hands, with a barn swallow in one hand that was stuck inside the building
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
**Mutual aid** I'm really struggling. The pharmacy I work for was bought by UnitedHealthcare, and my paycheck has essentially been halved because I no longer get mileage for driving my vehicle. I need $$ for car maintenance, psych. care, and food, as I have been going w/o buying food for awhile now.
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Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
I guess we’re doing this again?
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
The theme for the met gala next year should be "French Revolution." Maybe "drone strike."
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
So, do I change my phone's lock screen or just hope they don't see it? 😄
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MO-KAN HASH @mokanhash.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
HEY KANSAS, TAKE A HIT OF THE TRUTH AND PASS IT ON ,puff puff pass
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
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Tom Nichols @radiofreetom.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
In other news, no, the United States cannot blockade the Strait of Hormuz, for so many reasons
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
That Gemini AI is really fun to play with if you don't mind wasting 18 gallons of water learning everything about the extinction of the Dodo bird.
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William Stone @itswilliamstone.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
It’s actually FEWER Misérables
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Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 03/03/2026
after absolutely eviscerating Kristi Noem and calling for her resignation, Tillis is applauded. He thens threatens to hold up nominees if she doesn't stop stonewalling him. My God.
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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
Fellas you gotta dress like Rihanna and get your own rain machine for the musical number, it works
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
lol at the tourists in dubai being like ‘what do you mean i took my vacation at The Neiman-Marcus That Kills You’
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MO-KAN HASH @mokanhash.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
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MO-KAN HASH @mokanhash.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
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Bill @bill-maxwell.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
Fuck all these fascists and their supporters!
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
"I, John Brown, am now quite certain that the crimes of this guilty land will never be purged away, but with Blood."
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George Wallace @mrgeorgewallace.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
"The American dream belongs to all of us." - Kamala Harris "Sometimes you need a dictator." - Walking Circus Peanut
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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.lol · 21/01/2026
The tactical formation is mostly there to prevent him from being vacuumed into a Roomba.
Actual photo of Greg Bovino
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HansVogl @voglhans.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
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mrcrouton.bsky.social @mrcrouton.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
This Righteous Gemstones spinoff looks terrible. 😕
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 07/12/2025
I want my next wedding reception to be a dark room full of soft pillows with color-changing lights, Pure Moods 1997 on the speakers, and some weapons grade hallucinogens.
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 23/11/2025
Nate Burleson out there looking like a flight attendant on the first commercial flight to the Moon.
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Hunter Samuels @huntersamuels.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
So other than Kelce no Chiefs felt like playing or coaching football today
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Kansas Blueblood @kansasblueblood.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
media.tenor.com
a man with long hair is crying and saying you 're tearing me apart
ALT: a man with long hair is crying and saying you 're tearing me apart
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Underdog KC @realunderogkc.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
After all of this time I expected something with a little more finesse. But look at the source...
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
Post a bird announcing that Dick Cheney is dead.
A tree swallow I met in Orillia, Ontario a couple of years ago.
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Frog Every Day @frogeveryday.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
Blake the frog
Blake the frog
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Kyle Griffin @kylegriffin1.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
Breaking on MSNBC: Two federal prosecutors have been placed on leave at the direction of the White House after filing a sentencing memo seeking 27 months in prison for a pardoned Jan. 6 rioter who brought illegal guns and ammunition to President Obama's house in 2023.
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Kim Bellware @bellwak.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
Found the paid protester
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Josh Sternberg @joshsternberg.com · 10/10/2025
I was riding down the road one day Someone hit a possum I was riding down the road one day Someone hit a possum The road was his end His end was the road So they say
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
A history lesson for Pam Bondi...Nixon never went to prison, but his Attorney General did. Maybe mull that over for awhile.
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 05/10/2025
Nothing gets me fired up for leg day quite like listening to the audiobook of "A People's History of the United States" by Howard Zinn.
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UNGOLIANT @gorgol.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
generals gathered in their masses/president calls them all fatasses
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 28/09/2025
I'm really tired of people having faith in me, because I know they'll get sick of me and I'll fail them again, eventually.
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
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Oliver Willis @owillis.bsky.social · 25/09/2025
Democrats have too many lawyers and lawyer brain. “It appears” and “seems like” —- just say shit.
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 17/09/2025
It warmed my pedantic little heart to hear Ken Jennings correctly pronounce forte as "fort."
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @swishymcjackass.bsky.social · 16/09/2025
@amahnke.bsky.social say it with me... TONAWANDA. Not Towanda.
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David Niall Wilson @davidniallwilson.com · 16/09/2025
I would love the face to face chance to explain to J D Vance that he's a nothing little pissant that no one likes and no one will ever follow. If he is without Trump, he's suddenly the kid who gets bullied on the playground. He's an asshole and the MAGA crowd will never follow him, or Moore.
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BeSeriousUSA 🐝 @beserioususa.bsky.social · 14/09/2025
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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 13/09/2025
Maybe we're all charging our phones against their will. Maybe they want to die.
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