Sign in

Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery

@slugworlds.bsky.social
1.5K followers 743 following 11K posts

it's all diminishing

PostsRepliesMedia
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 8h
farside comic with bullies in labcoats gathered around a chalkboard with a bunch of math - 'Another local maximum of the suffering function exists, but only if - and I get this will sound crazy - the underpants of the victim were yanked *upward* rather than downward'
050
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 9h
all his proclamations are printed on ticker-tape he pulls out of his mouth to be read by an assistant
130
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
J HELL P @jlp.systems · 9h
We need a president named Mr. Message and he goes around dressed up like a big inkwell with a quill coming out of the top
1353
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 9h
me as new nba coach and im meeting the star player. they start telling me stuff about the team and I say "I don't care! I don't care about any of that stuff! I need you worlds strongest man strong! Squatting 1000 lbs! Eating Michael Phelps Meal Every Day! That's ALL I care about!!"
070
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 9h
rpg raid boss named Big Elf
040
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 14h
you guys just don't understand captain nemo. he does everything for a reason
060
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 14h
kim jong un smiling at a big vat getting filled with some sort of industrial glorp
170
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
steinkern @koboldvintner.bsky.social · 14h
08013
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 14h
president who wear black jeans a black turtleneck and always looks bored
1341
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 15h
brand new soft drink "Coke Viscous"
1270
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 15h
yeah was just thinking how 'yankees-red sox' plays really huge in my baseball mind but its one of the last vestiges of this kind of thing
120
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 16h
its hard. on the one hand I think divisions are cool because there should be some sort of 'extra' thing about teams all in one region. like its cool that the AL east is super cutthroat and competitive. but practically I think an NBA-style model where they exist but basically don't matter is better
110
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 17h
we need a president whos basically asleep in a chair all the time and takes forever to wake up and for press conferences you shake and shake and shake them and eventually their eyes will open up 1 millimeter and they'll whisper 'darn tootin...' into the mic and then go back to sleep
1151
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
doggie perches on a present over a frutiger aero type background. text options: Accept Gift,
Inspect Gift,
Hear Messenger's Song,
Reciprocate Gift,
Turkey for Him.
(invite messenger for a pint)
9630152
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
Joel S. @joelhs.bsky.social · 19h
The discourse on antisemitism in the country is such that Mike Rogers can simultaneously attack Abdul El-Sayed *as* antisemitic, as a scary foreign Muslim critic of Israel, and also *with* antisemitism, as a tool of the foreign-born Jewish puppeteer.
"LEAKED: Footage of Abdul El-Sayed fundraising last night in the California home of the far-left Soros family. 

Abdul’s education was paid for by the Soros family and NOW they are funding his campaign to make him a U.S. Senator 

The Soros family is funding Abdul because he will carry out their agenda of: 

➡️ defunding the police 
➡️ emptying prisons, and letting violent criminals & sex offenders back onto the streets 
➡️ gender transition surgeries for minors 
➡️ allowing illegals to vote in American elections 

Abdul is too extreme for Michigan."
251295345
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
Nicky 2 @nickyflowers.com · 01/09/2026
in this economy? 20 dollars costs 50 dollars.. and at the end of the day that's 100 dollars
128488
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 18h
i agree! best of seven is right to me. but ownership also loves expanding playoffs because its more tv $$ and having more games at end of season can get players hurt. so if they have to expand the series two games I think shaving some regular season ones is the right way
110
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 21h
when i was a kid i thought 'the cider house rules' was about a cider house that really kicked ass
4251
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 22h
but yeah I realize the inexorable march towards more playoff games is inevitable in the short term. Trading regular season games for them is the only way to make that sustainable for players, and on the whole I think this is good for player health
020
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 22h
im still an original wild card format truther... some of the cards need to be normal
210
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 22h
mlb trading cutting 8 regular season games to turn the ALDS into a best of seven... not perfect but I like it??
220
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 22h
ya gotta believe! its wild how much parenting always feels like 'I'm playing the long game... better think hard before I make this move which may have a large effect on the long game, which I cannot predict, or no effect at all"
170
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 22h
he doesn't always do all this stuff of course and hes himself and the kid of our family. just like crap leaks into our life and you're like 'wheres this shit coming from' and its like 'oh some six year old who obliquely learned this from/was permitted to learn this by some other parent i dont know'
1200
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 22h
like I know you cant seal your kids off from the world, its not only impossible but also not good for them, they need to learn how to navigate all this at some point or another. but just kind of demoralizing to realize lots choices/work you make/do as a parent can be indirectly undermined so easily
3230
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 23h
sounds reactionary when I say it and I realize there's no realistic alternative but. on the whole I think b's 'whole deal' has really taken a hit from hanging out with other kids at school. like punching and hitting, talking in a weird baby voice, focus on products/brands, exposure to crappy media
2240
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
JAS 🏳️‍⚧️ @jasthelass.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I'm hearing this for the first time
132693512
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
biden: "come on... come on everybody. its the. its the... hanster. hamsterdunce... hamsterdance." he then slowly dances with an amplitude of 1mm
0271
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
something sort of evil but also good maybe ive thought of is to make an assignment where each student has to come up with a "good homework problem" thats interesting, solvable, and challenging. both so they can see how hard it is and because I'd get 100 ideas for homework problems 😈
190
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I guess it makes sense but on the whole I feel like students just have no idea how much work goes into making every assignment and the answer keys. like lots of students just believe you have perfect knowledge and never make mistakes so all this stuff just falls out of your head fully formed
2120
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
kind of dumb but I really hate making practice problems for exams. like... I already have to make an exam! That's gonna take me a whole week basically. And you want me to make a bunch of problems *and* an answer key before that. And if the problems are too different from the exam ones youll get mad?
2170
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
what a ghoul believes ☎️ @sayambular.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Landlords want to deny you the simple pleasure of pouring grease down the drain because they are narcissists
018436
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
great satan society
1291
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
Ian Carrillo @iansociologo.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
It's even worse - he used to say his family escaped Castro, but then it was revealed his family fled the US-supported Fulgencio Batista. Now that it's advantageous to be a Western supremacist, he's pushing aside Cuban and going with Spanish.
320565
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
if you figure it out lmk
020
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
everyone download ventrilo now
010
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
Sam @mardiroos.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
There's still time
1129643
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
Azure Emerald Empire @azureemeraldempire.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
“You want your receipt?” the cashier asks. A receipt! “A receipt…could be interesting…” I muse
3664
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
prepare to be invigilated 👁️
040
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
The Crud of Man
070
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
presidential memoir "Shit From My Ass: Still Playing With It"
030
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
rare body oils @rarebodyoils.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
proposing a new biome called "foulcountry" comprised of stinking grease pits and iridescent, daggerlike crystalline spires
3677
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
@kendrawcandraw

Me watching some high fantasy shit: I would simply not be corrupted by the magical object. If it is actively harming you why don’t you just put it down. Idiot

Me receiving psychic damage 23 hours a day from my phone: Ouuughhhh oouuuuwwwwaaaaaa ooaaaaghuuuuuhhhowwgahhhhh suuuuuwah
01469423
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
sports teams should be able send players to the 2-hour injured list if they have to poop bad during the game
0120
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
yeah thats what I thought too! Like half the people there are associated with the naval base in some way! Then yes realized that to most right wing americans elsewhere it probably just scans as "socal city with lots of liberals and people from mexico"
110
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
asking "whats your deaaaalll, man?" in a really condescending voice and when they start to actually answer I keep asking whats your deal man whats your deal man until they stop talking and go away
0110
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
wargen @funeralpig.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
me: beyond that valley lays the forever forest don't go in there without a lamp from the elves. past the forest is the red mountains home of the rock trolls son: what is that pillar of glowing golden light? me: i don't know i never went over there i just didn't get around to it
0304
Reposted by Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery
SCOM⛅️ @scomputer.fun · 06/10/2026
just invented an app that hurts you whenever you try to press anything in it
6461
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Feels Terminal
1130
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
i get that nothing anyone says has 'mattered' for years and the context of the quote is already evil because the war on iran is evil but its so wild that the president can say he doesn't care if 5 million people living in his own country die and it doesn't matter and nobody cares
1221
Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
some dont
020