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Danny Scoops

@shartedpants.bsky.social
48 followers 69 following 346 posts

what's the deal what's the noise what's the damage

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Reposted by Danny Scoops
frood 🔨 @frood.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
i’ve invented two new chess pieces, “the chalice” and “the rook twice”
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
It's Cheekface awareness day
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
I can't believe there's people who have it in them to walk up and go "Let's make a Reel together" to a friend or god forbid a family member. Like, how do you even finish the sentence without running away in shame
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
My Cheekface-inspired poetry I hope my friend Greg likes it
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Nicolas Dream, PhD @afraidofwasps.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Wasn't enjoying the replies on this one so took it down Lol
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Scatman John is plating on this bus
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🕹️ algi 🇭🇺 🇪🇺 @algi.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
The secret to the success of "AI" is the complete, utter lack of standards.
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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Three ghosts walk into a bar... and keep walking right through the damn thing!
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Fuck my life man
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phil @philjamesson.com · 25/06/2026
if you walk by someone on the sidewalk and they say “twisty tyler” and spin around before you look away, you have to switch destinations with them
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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
They should have called him benjamin backwards. granted, he did wear buttons, but that was the least of his concerns
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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
I wonder if the title of the TV show Friends is a nod to the famous Shakespeare line "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears." If so, hilarious.
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𝐉𝐚𝐦𝟐𝐠𝐨 @jam2go.com · 19/06/2026
there is a light that never goes out ( crash test cover ) www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlKX...
youtube.com
there is a light that never goes out ( crash test cover )
YouTube video by Jam2go
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
My last coherent thought was at age 9 I've embraced entropy since then
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
I bring this sort of unfortunate vibe to the table
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Blue sky nice ghost @rajandelman.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
Now that The Backrooms is a success, it's time for Hollywood to tackle that other masterpiece about a family home transformed into a labyrinth of liminal spaces. That's right, I'm talking about that literary classic: Groverhaus
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
I think the biggest missed opportunity with The Boys is that no one ever calls The Deep "the derp"
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Names used to have an etymology, some deep meaning, like "a carpenter's son", "a God's miracle", "our bloodline's last hope" Now ppl will name their child Squiggleigh and expect you to take them seriously
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
googling "Help"
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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
For sale: tragic shoes. Baby size
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John @jjbjr.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
me after not posting all day
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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
I would be such a good boy if i was a dog. Yes i would
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
I am really loving to see the news of every big tech company making their products significantly worse for no good reason. Every day we are closer to these walls of concrete falling down around us. We are destined to escape to the grassy fields and play. We are destined to be happy.
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
whenever in porn they are saying "fuck... oh, fuck..." it's the equivalent of if I was really enjoying my lunch and started whispering to myself "eat, eat, oh, eat..."
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
this girl is munching on a corncob on the bus
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
yeah I'll have the supersalad
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Jacob Geller @jacobgeller.com · 05/05/2026
Can't stop thinking about this comment on a Northernlion slay the spire video
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
the greek method to piss your pants with dignity
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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Women will make fun of guys for using 3-in-1 shampoo or whatever and then see nothing wrong with going to an ear, nose and throat specialist
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UrineInTeapot @demilardner.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
why doesnt the couch have a seatbelt for when im watching GAMER THRONES
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Kegg @mrkegg.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
ass so big you see the crack from the front
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
trying to live a good life so that in the next one I'll get a bigger dick
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phil @philjamesson.com · 24/04/2026
(sitting down with a beautiful quill, dipping it in an inkwell, carefully pulling it out, exhaling deeply, and pressing nib to paper) Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Something instead of nothing
Comic strip, page 1: a chimpanzee is using sign language to communicate to a zookeeper, “Why is there something instead of nothing?” The zookeeper laughs to his colleagues, “He wants another banana!” The other zoo workers are cracking up hysterically behind him.Page 2: Later, the main zookeeper is in a dark room filled with TVs displaying security footage of the zoo animals. He is soaking wet in a raincoat, staring solemnly at the screen which shows the chimpanzee. The zookeeper reaches down to press a large red button on the desk beneath the screen display.Page 3: from inside the chimpanzee exhibit, we see the security gate open. The chimpanzee wander through and exits the building to a dark, rainy street corner. He extends his arms and lets the rain fall onto him.Page 4: the chimpanzee is in the backseat of a cab, driving somewhere else in the city at night. The final panel is the chimpanzee at checkout in a grocery store with a huge pile of bananas. The clerk looks mildly shocked.
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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
You can still be a fan of Jared fogle's weight loss
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
would you download this bike
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
play Kitten Burst
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
the amazing digital circus' theme is so ass have we really ran out of all the good melodies
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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
Michael crichton was 6'9" when he wrote Jurassic park. Imagine the dinosaur adventure Robert Wadlow could have wrote. 

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (6'1"): The Lost World (1912)
Michael crichton (6'9"): Jurassic park
Robert Wadlow (8'11"): ???????????
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
sorry to this guy but this is unfortunately extremely funny to me
r/UberEATS
u/litaps_Missiciv • 51d • i.redd.it
Top 1% Poster
Customer reduced tip and gave me negative rating because "i shattered their backboard dunking on their son" HE PASSED ME THE BALL!
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
they should make car drivers insert a passcode every time they want to honk the horn
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Stackingway @stackingway.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
A fake Achewood Comic Strip where Roast Beef is roasting Ray, who has purchased gaudy shoes
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
*getting arrested, face-slammed into the hood of my car with my arms behind my back* -Oh, this is gonna be SO good for my back!
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
I don't understand are people who use iphones to film short films legally obligated to tell us about it or what
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
they should show the current year in more places so that time travelers don't have to embarrass themselves
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
You HAVE to give it up to whoever invented the candle. Like truly one of the top five “There HAS to be a better way!” people in history
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updates troglodyte updates george: 2 @troglodytegeorge.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
if you buy the camera sunglasses they should put you on the sex offender registry
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Chris Holland @wolves-back.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
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Danny Scoops @shartedpants.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
should I sell pants that look sharted
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