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🍁𝒮𝒶𝓈𝓈𝓎 𝒢𝒾𝓇𝓁 🤍

@sassycanadian0.bsky.social
3.5K followers 1.1K following 4.6K posts

Bios are overrated just like sleep. bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xtwlmhhwp4…

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Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Crazy how everybody stops bothering you at work, if you just wear a big red bow on your tall green hat
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Whenever I drive past the psychic's empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
No autocorrect! I meant douche (not touché)
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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The sad part is I’m a nomad that’s been stuck in the same place for way too long. 
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Back on my bullshit... baking on a Friday night
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
One day I’ll be rich enough to buy a super fast car and drive it really slow
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Men with mid tattoos will go on Survivor instead of going to therapy
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Math discoveries while asleep were the start of the theoREM
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I'll repost almost anything but I draw the line at pooping and farting. Idk I'm complex like that
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Wish I loved anything as much as Bluesky loves suggesting accounts that want nothing to do with me
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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Tried to sue the airline for misplacing my luggage. I lost the case.
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Tried ordering books online and Amex froze my account for fraudulent behavior. They're like, this bitch doesn't read, and I totally get it.
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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
What’s the difference between an elevator and my parents? An elevator can raise a child. Yeah.
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🍁𝒮𝒶𝓈𝓈𝓎 𝒢𝒾𝓇𝓁 🤍 @sassycanadian0.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Someone's effort is the reflection of their interest in you.
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I have to tell you all, I started the week with a bottle of patience, but the bottle is almost empty now.
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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
A semicolon is just a regular colon that needs a fluffer
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Pets should count for carpool
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It’s called Spirit Halloween because of the hangover you’re left with
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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The Internet has made dumb people even dumber.
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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I hate concerts and you cannot convince me otherwise. Too many people. Too many people. Music always sounds like shit. Too loud. Too many people. You’re welcome.
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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I’m popular in all the wrong ways.
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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I bet it feels really good for the pedal to be pushed all the way to the metal. 
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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I’m tired of keeping up. 
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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
My time is owned by everyone but me.
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The best way to say hello is with a firm booty shake.
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Tim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The truth is not fake news. Fake news is when your wife says, "I'm fine," and you believe her for half a second.
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I would go out, but my life is jam packed with nothing to do and not enough time to do it.
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Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I talked to some kids about encyclopedias and they thought I was having a stroke
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
On Tuesdays, we flounce.
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I simply couldn't, so I did not.
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Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Is counting the number of dead contacts you have in your phone a sign of a midlife crisis?
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anton lestrange @hugemclarge.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
you can posit whatever position you like. the fact remains that brown sugar and cinnamon pop tarts are the only true path to enlightenment
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Sprinkling cinnamon on your eye rolls
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
How fast my brain turns price tags into dopamine should be studied
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
When someone doesn’t answer when you ask if they’re sleeping, that is an example of a lie by omission
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
We should have treated ai like a virus outbreak
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Drake's Cheetah Print video has me rotflmao. 5 stars
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🍁𝒮𝒶𝓈𝓈𝓎 𝒢𝒾𝓇𝓁 🤍 @sassycanadian0.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
It's almost candy corn season for those of you that like to eat crayons.
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Tim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Autumn is the season where Mother Nature gives you a beautiful, colorful show, right before she kills everything you love with a blizzard.
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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
“I don’t understand” - a memoir
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Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Asking random cats to be my meow-meow
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I tried to have an intervention with myself, but my inside voices called the shots.
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Slept on my body weird last night. Who wants to come over and snap my spine?
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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Putting the humming bird feeder near the security camera was a bad idea…a bad, bad idea.
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Dixon Ciderr @tittsmcdick.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Im "took typewriting class in high school" years old
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🍁𝒮𝒶𝓈𝓈𝓎 𝒢𝒾𝓇𝓁 🤍 @sassycanadian0.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I look at my mini me and her spicy little attitude. I'm half proud and half concerned for my future.
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🍁𝒮𝒶𝓈𝓈𝓎 𝒢𝒾𝓇𝓁 🤍 @sassycanadian0.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I'm "just got a roll of quarters for arcade games" years old.
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anton lestrange @hugemclarge.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I've heard enough: pull the plug on all AI
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anton lestrange @hugemclarge.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I'm 'made casette mix tapes for love interests' years old
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
People who's page sends you directly to another site as soon as you scroll, love it. Keep that shit up
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