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planetmatt

@planetmatt.bsky.social
665 followers 2.2K following 7.1K posts

Here for photos of your dog, your lunch, and to escape Musk's hellscape of sycophantic blue tick simpletons. I play The FINALS, and very old arcade games. I also enjoy a nice sit down, a cup of tea, and a biscuit.

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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Loving this for him.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Probably need 20 but I've spent many many hours on these 9 My 9 games #My9Games my9games.net/en/share/554...
my9games.net
My 9 Games | Shared games picks
A shared 9-panel games collage.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
He's finally chosen his ballroom curtains and wants the world to admire his incredible gift for soft furnishings.
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David Cavlovic🇨🇦🍁 @davidcavlovic.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
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Spong @besidetheteesside.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
What at horrible day to have eyes.
A glory hole of Capt Tom, so it looks like you're sucking off the old garden wobbler.
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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Jim Henson was born on this day in 1936.
Edward Hopper's 'Nighthawks', but the man and woman at the counter of the diner are now Fozzie and Miss Piggy. The guy with his back to us is now Bert, but Bert is being operated by Frank Oz, who is crouched down in front of the counter. The waiter/server is now Jim Henson who is looking intently at Kermit, and Kermit, who is occupying half of Jim's right arm, is looking intently at Jim. The diner is now called "JIMMYS".
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Glenn @frackpong.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
When your dog hears you open a packet of biscuits.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Tommy Robinson AND Lettuce Liz. Sheeran is smashing this. If you don't choose a side, the side chooses you.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Aggressive Malaysian chef in Kuala Lumpur left the kitchen and demanded to know what was wrong with his food after we overdid the executive lounge canapes before dinner. Would not accept, "we are full". Very confrontational in a very quiet, fine dining restaurant. Felt so bad and so damn full.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Not now Frog Chorus.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Ed currently experiencing this quote, "In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing" If you don't pick a side, the side picks you, and the side of genocide and Tommy Robinson chose Sheeran.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
A world leader that can adlib without referencing Arnold Palmer's dick. Incredible.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Why would you put one cake and two pictures in your fridge when you could have zero pictures and three cakes? What even is this madness?
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The American military wants to see your dick. Why is the right obsessed with other people's genitals? Fucking weird icky losers.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Where I do my posting from
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
It cost Trump $130,000 to pay off Stormy and she didn't let him kiss her. I cannot imagine how much a woman charged him to kiss his rancid maw, although I accept I am giving this rapist the benefit of the doubt and assuming consent was sought and given.
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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I’ve had my first Christmas tat catalogue advert and it’s - well - all kinds of filth. Mystery meat tube in a recently buggered bread roll, anyone?
Some sort of hot dog machine in red plastic.
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HappyToast @happytoast.co.uk · 16/09/2026
Piddington village green with Wicker Man
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HappyToast @happytoast.co.uk · 16/09/2026
“What have we done?!”
The end of oak street but it’s Paddington
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
"We don't want all these migrants in the UK". Piddington leaves the UK The UK sends all the migrants to Piddington, because it's not in the UK now
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I am sure this is completely unrelated to all the foreign Facebook accounts pushing the "Cash is King" narrative. Nothing to see here.
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Simon Pegg @simonpegg.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Jason Watkins' Agent sighs. He glances at his laptop screen. The email arrives. Subject: Casting for 'Head of Piddington Parish Council'
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Roxy Hart @roxyhart.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Villages only used to have 1 idiot
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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I mean if you really want to hear Ed Sheeran without any opening acts you can simply get put on hold with your bank
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Tom Reagan’s Hat @rufustsuperfly.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
‘We’ve gone on Ed Sheeran’s tour by mistake’
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Good news for Reform voters, you dog fuckers can work at the FBI.
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DerkHerkenbersh @dochackenbush.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
The ewok that plays the stormtrooper helmets like drums at the end of Return of the Jedi has pulled out of Ed Sheeran’s tour
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
"'Murica"
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Reminder that not taking sides is aligning with the status quo.
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David Cavlovic🇨🇦🍁 @davidcavlovic.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
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Introvert Problems @introvertproblems.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
“Please don’t answer. Please don’t answer. Please don’t answer. Please don’t answer.” - introverts, making a phone call
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
The lettuce lady has escaped again.
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Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Happy 5th anniversary to the time this happened over on that other place.
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General Boles @generalboles.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I did not know Kylie defeated the Taliban after 9/11 www.theguardian.com/music/2026/s...
Kylie was suddenly being held up as an emblem of western ideals – the literal face (and body) of the UK’s reaction to the global threat from a terrorist organisation. The Daily Mail printed a list of reasons to be cheerful, post-9/11, topped by Kylie. The picture they used alongside the piece was captioned “Fungirl Kylie, scourge of the Taliban”. Watching from the outside as this narrative unfolded, Kylie was “dumbfounded. I understand the way they’re seeing it as a positive thing, but no! Don’t write things like that!”
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Just need Spoons to put RNLI donation boxes in every pub and the Fash mind will implode.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
"... and to your left is a lesser spotted Saville. Coming up on the right is a breeding pair of Rolfs."
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
People are idiots. Example #4622
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
The latest from the party of "protecting women and children": Medals for beating women who don't know their place.
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Odd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I can’t believe it’s exactly 14 years since The Greatest Living Englishman tweeted out this, which age cannot wither, nor custom stale its infinite variety
Danny Dyer tweet: “Can't believe it's been nearly 11 years since them slags smashed into the twin towers it still freaks my nut out to this day 9/11” (for some reason, it also says “ch 4 10 00” after that)
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Gabby HC @scriblit.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
The fash lads are out They've circled the Mail There's coke up their snouts They're violent and pale Wife Beaters are coming to town
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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
You might have to turn up for the results of this one, Nige.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Send up the Bin Signal, we're going By-Electioning again.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Did this loser just voice his weird gay fireman fantasies out loud and we're all going to pretend it's completely fine for this senile orange imbecile to have access to nuclear weapons? No judgement against gay fireman fantasies but I don't want to hear them coming out of the mouth of the POTUS
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Charles Fourier @charlesfourier.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Bill Bryson’s words seem appropriate to post right now
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HappyToast @happytoast.co.uk · 08/09/2026
Easy to follow guide from the British press
An elderly lady being carried away by the police, labelled intimidating, and two black clad, balaclava wearing men standing in front of someone’s car, staring at them.
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Fash scum on the local Portsmouth Facebook group proposing they destroy RNLI boats and buildings to, "teach them a lesson". But don't worry, according to the government, this is a completely reasonable response from "concerned citizens", with, "legitimate concerns".
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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I mean, If I saw Gillian Anderson while driving my car, I too would 100% crash into whatever was in front of me because I certainly would not be looking where I was going, I can tell you that.
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General Boles @generalboles.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
*** BREAKING NEWS *** I'm getting reports of an adorable dog at the Bridport Hat Festival He's called Pip.....more updates as they come in
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Tits McGee @scientits.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Absolutely incredible thread
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christhebarker @christhebarker.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Major Channel 4 news investigation reveals corruption at heart of Tatooine establishment
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