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😠 Parilani Pie

@parilani.sparkle.blue
18K followers 787 following 34K posts

lowercase human™️ pastel goblin™️ she/any not cis • not het • not monog dichotomies are dumb im the secret 3rd thing ask me/tell me -> ngl.link/parilani just me -> bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nbdx7ef4ak…

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Reposted by 😠 Parilani Pie
😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 28/09/2026
survey for curiosity sake:Ladies if you're comfortable and you'd be so kind- what age were you the first time you experienced being objectified or sexualized by a man? what age was the first time you experienced sexism?
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 18h
re normalize dvd box sets so i can watch whatever i want whenever i want and it can't get pulled from my library and it will NEVER. HAVE. ADS.
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Madison Taylor 🌈 @maddramaqueen.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
First sexualized: roughly 4? Before I started school. Sexism: 5 at the absolute oldest.
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 28/09/2026
actually i wanna expand the data ANYONE- (while listing the gender you were at the time, if youre comfortable) what was the earliest age you felt sexualized? and the earliest age you experienced sexism?
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 28/09/2026
internet: GEN Z THINKS MILLENNIALS ARE CRINGE. gen z: dnt even kno u were a millennial millennial: i literally do not care lol
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 08/10/2025
officer: *about to pat me down* have any weapons on ur person? me: oh just THESE *pulling my hands out of my pockets and doing an impressive karate chop* officer: oh shit that was an impressive karate chop me: right??? they're deadly officer: *unholstering gun* they're what
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 28/09/2026
survey for curiosity sake:Ladies if you're comfortable and you'd be so kind- what age were you the first time you experienced being objectified or sexualized by a man? what age was the first time you experienced sexism?
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Reposted by 😠 Parilani Pie
852dude @852dude.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
"Heav'n has no rage, like love to hatred turn'd, Nor hell a fury, like a woman scorned"
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Rob (the floor one) @floorisbed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
anyway what if we ____ all the ____________ to _____ with large sticks
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 28/09/2026
man: hey we should go out sometime me: no thank you man: what you think id want sex or something?? you're too ugly for me. whore. me: that's fine you couldn't afford me anyway
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fishttp:// @fishttp.website · 02/10/2025
all mammals share an instinct to destroy their ancient enemy, the loathsome gourd
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SNOWVANDAL @snowmedvandal.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
@parilani.sparkle.blue should be the color commentator with a white board like John Madden
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 27/09/2026
also please lookit how cute this fucking creature is oh my fucking god
Perry, my tabby cat, laying in the corner of a light grey couch with his front paws crossed and his eyes looking v adorable directly into the camera
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 27/09/2026
pov ur my camera that's actually on video mode when im tryna take a "we did it team" photo
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 26/09/2026
i'm so fucking sad cuz the big world is bad and my tiny world is bad but the sun is shining and my cat still likes me and there's musical adventures to be had, so- also i got my hair cut a while ago idr if i told u guys
me, parilani, white female. close up selfie. green eyes green shirt green flannel. my hairs a shorter shaggier bob than previous images
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ɴɪᴋᴀ @mxnectarine.polycule-slut.cloud · 26/09/2026
“Millenials are so cringe and don’t want to grow up” bitch if we don’t get the perks of adulthood why would we abandon the fun parts of childhood?
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 25/09/2026
[every time there's a post on the internet] me: is this real
static.klipy.com
Kenan Thompson's Confused Look on SNL
Alt: Kenan Thompson's Confused Look on SNL
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 25/09/2026
[every time there's a post on the internet] me: is this real
static.klipy.com
Kenan Thompson's Confused Look on SNL
Alt: Kenan Thompson's Confused Look on SNL
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 25/09/2026
and use alt text 🫶
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 25/09/2026
yea well i dont even like coffee iced or not
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 25/09/2026
New Yorkers, a storm is arriving today. Don't travel if you don't have to. Never drive or walk through floodwater. Call 911 if you are in danger, and report nonemergency issues to 311. Look out for one another and stay safe.
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Luca @lucagalletti.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
So gentle and so patient ❤️ #goldenretriever #sweetboy #butterfly #monarch IG: @thegoldenlifeofcharlie_ www.instagram.com/thegoldenlif...
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Nicole Bedera @nbedera.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
One of the things that shocked me most in my study of campus sexual violence is that so many of the cases were just like this. The evidence was full of confessions. The perpetrators didn’t deny their violence. They just argued they should be allowed to do it and the school agreed.
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Luke Ontario @coolhand.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
My character does not need any more development it is overexposed
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 25/09/2026
me: 🎤when i say i hate you say you ! I HATE crowd: YOU me: 🎤 I HATE crowd: YOU me: 🎤 YESSSS ME TOO BLESS I AM THE WORST crowd: *going absolutely wild*
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Luke Ontario @coolhand.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
We should smoosh all streaming apps into one app and add in-app purchases and call it “cable”
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 24/09/2026
this is fucking bad.
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claudia ✨ @claudiiiii.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
happy birthday bisexuals
two parents confront their crying son. his dad tells him to “get a girlfriend son” and his mom then joins in to say “or a boyfriend! he’s bi”. the dad says “damn nobody want u fr 😭😭” and the mom chimes in “i’m saying like 😭😭”
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 23/09/2026
hot date: *suave* why don't you slip into something more comfortable me: *also suave* oh okay *sliding off my 'going out' sweatpants and slipping on my 'staying home' sweatpants*
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 21/09/2026
thisone0verhere on threads: "Being Invited To Nothing: literally nobody cares about me at all

Being Invited To One Thing: omg it never ends with these people"

astral_blobfish replies: ""Oh my gooddduhhhh just email me your problem."

"Oh my godddduhhhh who the f*ck is emailing meeeeeee?!""

thisone0verhere replies: "I swear to god if there are a bunch of emails in my email..."
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 22/09/2026
lahiah on tumblr: "beam me up scotty (beam me up inside) can't beam up (beam me up inside)"
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τreez 🌲 @zoetreez.bsky.social · 23/09/2023
Bi visibility day is important because even your gay friends will invalidate your sexuality. It’s not even exclusive to getting hated on by heteros- BUT GUESS WHAT MY BI BABE - we don’t have to prove shit. you don’t have to look for approval, we can love who we love like anyone else!!
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 22/09/2026
omg yall remember how inaccurate, inefficient, and low quality all our shit used to be before widespread use of ai?? can u believe we used to tolerate that slop???
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 22/09/2026
omg yall remember how inaccurate, inefficient, and low quality all our shit used to be before widespread use of ai?? can u believe we used to tolerate that slop???
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Luke @llobrow.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
if someone does the sign of the cross and you do it back to them but add another move at the end, you both have to alternate adding one thing, and the first person to mess up goes to hell
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nash flynn @itsnashflynn.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
nashflynn.substack.com/p/ding-dong?... hi again :)
nashflynn.substack.com
ding dong!
when death becomes a celebration - or at least a relief
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 15/09/2026
just found out there is an ai boyfriends subreddit and i am...distressed about it lmao
static.klipy.com
Spongebob Thinking in Pixel Art Diner
Alt: Spongebob Thinking in Pixel Art Diner
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 15/09/2026
i love when little kids play imaginary games and one will be like "uhppp!!! according to the rules i made up you just LOST" and then another one will be like "aaaaaw mannnnn"
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 15/09/2026
me (The Incredible Sulk): that's my secret cap, i'm always sad
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 11/09/2026
they should invent a me that doesnt have to zip up my own dresses
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 11/09/2026
hahahaaa i'm p sure i fucked up my whistle and i'm so fucking SAD ABOUT IT YOU GUYS HAHAHA
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Erika Moen @erikamoen.bsky.social · 23/08/2024
These are my favorite kinds of comics to make: turning science-y, academic-y explanations into digestible, goofy cartoons. I had a lot of fun with my review of Dr. @enagoski.bsky.social's Come As You Are book back in 2015 💕 (Full comic: www.ohjoysextoy.com/come-as-you-...)
Full transcript at https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/come-as-you-are-2

Title: Spontaneous Desire and Responsive Desire

Erika gestures at a stick figure diagram as she explains, "*spontaneous desire* is the most commonly recognized model in our culture, when the desire to have sex just sorta manifests itself outta no where." 

In the diagram we see the stick figure walking along, whistling to themself. Suddenly, a lightning bolt labeled "DESIRE" strikes them with a mighty "ka-BOOM!". "ME WANT SEX!" the stick figure announces to the world. 

Narration: But it turns out, there is ALSO *responsive desire*. 

A new stick figure rushes to our first stick figure, greeting them with a "Hey baby!". "Our original stick figure replies, "I missed you!"

Narration: Which is when folks only want sex *after* consensually sexy things are already happening, and then their mind and body turns on IN RESPONSE TO that sexy context.

The two stick figures hug and exchange some kisses, until suddenly- ka-BOOM!-
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 10/09/2026
if i had a conversation with 5-years-ago me id be like “girl i love you but oooohhhhmygod you’re so annoying"
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 10/09/2026
lookit this woodshaped dog
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nash flynn @itsnashflynn.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
we should invent not posting every single thought to the internet. some of them are just not winners
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😠 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 10/09/2026
some nice heartwarming news for your timeline
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jaypea @jaypea.bsky.social · 17/05/2025
Editor: You get those photos of the air traffic controller? Photographer: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked. Editor: what
A WSJ cover captioned “EXCLUSIVE
This Air-Traffic Controller Just Averted a Midair Collision. Now He's Speaking Out.”

There is a picture of a man with a beautifully coiffed hairdo and salt and pepper beard. He is wearing a black jacket over a half unbuttoned red satin shirt. Chest hair is spilling out among the multiple gold chains he is wearing.
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Still Undone @stillundone.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
“for all mankind” actually meant like, four or five guys tops
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Marjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com · 09/09/2026
scene from the office where Ryan sasy:
I WISH MY IPOD COULD MAKE PHONE CALLS
NO I DON'T WANT AN IPHONE. I KNOW WHAT AN IPHONE IS.

but iPod is replaced by iPad
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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 09/09/2026
the night is darkest just before dawn and i am comfiest just before alarm
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