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Demonic Gardener

@nedthejellybean.bsky.social
43 followers 57 following 88 posts

25+ they/fae The Magnus Archives ♡ MDZS 🔞 horny ace

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CandyPawz🍬🐾🔞 @candypawz.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
Replaying Twilight Princess again with the Linkle mod and wow it turns this game super gay LOL 🌈🏰 #fanart #linkle #twilightprincess #loz #art
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HemiDemi 🔞 @hemidemi.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
The other day I was commenting about the bullshit fearmongering of AI bros and this is the kind of shit I'm talking about. "Everyone's about to lose their jobs. The only way to stay afloat is to aggressively learn ai-" or maybe fucking fight back? Maybe advocate for safety nets? Have a spine?
corpwaters.substack.com
The Corporate Collapse of 2026
I ran the math on AI job displacement. It's going to hit sooner - and differently - than you think.
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Pipes @thefriedpipes.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Do it for the yaoi 🫡
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Fanfi 🥛💦 thinking about men with tits @fanfi.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
(sighs dreamily) i love boys with tits
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HemiDemi 🔞 @hemidemi.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Giving myself a lil break from dragon au comic for a little t-boy tit fucking ♥️ I missed them #nsfwart #vampau #donotarchive #jmart
Drawing of Martin laid on his back with Jon's cock squeezed between his chest. His glasses and chest are streaked with cum.

M: Ah!

J: Fuck~ S-sorry...

M: (chuckle) Poor thing. Had no idea you were this pent up.
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Xero now with 100% more 🎃 @artificer-ind.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Still patiently waiting to be "left behind" by AI rather than it chasing me across every damn space like a slasher in a low budget flick.
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Sarah Andersen @sarahseeandersen.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
The image is of a four panel comic.
In panel one, we see a man sitting at a restaurant table. He is sweating. He says "Y-you have beautiful eyes".
The second panel zooms in on the man's face. He says, "I'm sorry. I'm just so nervous."
In panel three we see that a biblically accurate angel is sitting on the other side of the table.
In panel four we zoom in on the angel's face, who says "BE NOT AFRAID".
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SimplySnaps @simplysnaps.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Left my steak dinner in the living room with my dog while I ran some errands, but it's fine because my dog can self-police. He can self-regulate. He will leave the steak on the coffee table until I'm home. I'm Speaker of the House.
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IAHFY ✦ @iahfy.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Samus & Kirby
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SimplySnaps @simplysnaps.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
See, Frisk? It's really that easy.
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SimplySnaps @simplysnaps.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I think most media sucks these days because budgets and scope have ballooned to the point where the only way to make art of expected quality by the consumer is to convince a boardroom full of soulless suits that your art will "turn a profit" instead of being *good.*
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @office-anomaly.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
support the creators and watch it here!
youtube.com
THE LOVERS
YouTube video by Studio Heartbreak
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mollystars { comms 20% OFF!! } @mollystars.dev · 05/09/2026
reminder that discord's trying to reintroduce their "Global Age Verification" as of very recently. if you haven't cancelled your nitro, do it! if you know other people who haven't, let them know abt this. not giving them anything as long as paypros/the gov keep being a bunch of pussies about this
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낑꾹 | kking @kking.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
You don’t pick your blorbos, your blorbos pick you. One day you are just gonna have a chill day looking out the window and out of nowhere your blorbo will run you over with a 50T truck and will ruin your life
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Detritus Books @detritusbooks.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
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HemiDemi 🔞 @hemidemi.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Offering your vampire boyfriend an extra treat with his midnight snack ♥️🩸 #donotarchive #vampau #jmart #nsfwart
A vampire!Jon x Martin comic page. Contains mild blood and consensual somnophilia 

Image 1: a sticky note with a written message from Martin to Jon

Hey, love,

I might be asleep when you read this, but if you're hungry, you can still have a bite. Ill probably sleep through it, so long as you're gentle.

So if feeding gets you (scratched out the word "Horny") worked up again, then I wouldn't mind helping you with that too...

Jon: (narration) This man has zero self preservation. He hardly even stirred as I drank from him tonight. Either he's dead tired, or he simply trusts me not take too much.

Image 2: Jon lifts up Martin's shirt while he sleeps, revealing his chest, his heartbeat rising in tempo. A trickle of blood drips down Martin's neck, as Jon has just fed from him.

Image 3: closeup of Jon's mouth, smeared in blood, staring in awe

Jon: You look so lovely, dear...I-is this really all for...

Image 4: closeup of Martin's lower half. Jon pulls Martin's shorts to the side, the material soaking wet, his t-dick swollen and red. Jon nudges against Martin's entrance with the head of his own aching cock.

Jon: (narration) Christ, he's already so wet and...And warm. His cock is sensitive too; twitching every time I grind against him.

Is his arousal a side effect from my feeding as well? Or was he touching himself before I returned home – tempting me with the mess he's made of himself and hoping that I would just...

Image 5: Martin is laid halfway on his side, face in his pillow, moaning softly in his sleep. Jon looks absolutely pathetic: resting his head on Martin's stomach (with another bite taken on the skin nearby, either to feed a bit more, or simply to have more of Martin in his mouth again), clinging to Martin as he fucks into him with a sense of desparation.

Martin: (mumbling) J...N ...On...

Jon: Shh, it's-it's alright, dear, it's – You fed me so well, dear. Let me fill you up, too...
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Pandam @pandam.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
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phi @phosphorus-phi.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
trapped in my skin #art
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akisguns archives @akisgunsarchives.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
don’t let fandom discourse distract you from sexualizing and fetishizing your favorite character
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HemiDemi 🔞 @hemidemi.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Don't threaten Martin with a good time. #donotarchive #vampau #jmart #nsfwart
Panel 1: establishing shot of Jon's living room. Jon is straddling Martin's lap while the two make out. Martin grabs a handful of Jon's ass.

 J: Martin, w-wait..Panel 2: Jon is speaking to Martin, arm draped over his shoulder and his fingers laced through Martin's hair. His vampire fangs are showing as he speaks.

M: (anxious) S-shit, sorry! Did you not want to, erm-(Quietly) You started grinding and I just went on auto pilot

J: N-no, I-I mean, yes, I want to…Martin, are–are you really not frightened by me?

M: Why would I be?

J: Well, I'm not exactly human anymore. If I were to ever lose myself, it would only be a matter of seconds before I drain you. I just worry that-Panel 3: Martin's heart beats hard, staring wide eyed at Jon. Jon watches him anxiously, fearing he's said something to frighten Martin.

J: Martin? Are you alright?

Panel 4: Martin keeps a neutral face as he unzips his trousers with one hand while pushing up Jon's shirt with another. Jon looks confused, but excited nonetheless.

M: Yup! Yeah, I'm – I'm good. H-hey so, kinda off-topic: how sturdy and/or stain resistant is your coffee table?

(Arrows point to both of their heads that reads: Horniest he's ever been in his whole life)

J: Erm– v-very...Panel 5: Cut to later as Martin has Jon bent over the coffee table and fucking him hard. Jon is apparently the one who needed to worry about being drained – his cum dripping from the side of the coffee table while more spills from the tip.
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🌶️ Motte! 🌶️🔞 @extra-spicymotte.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
shedding season! #oc
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Sarah Andersen @sarahseeandersen.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

The image is of a four panel comic.
The first panel shows Sarah, the protagonist, in bed. A speech bubble coming from her days “sigh”.
The second panel again shows Sarah in bed with a speech bubble reading “the only thing I have the capacity to do today is rot”.
The third panel shows the same scene, but depicts a speech panel coming from out of frame. It says “nice”.
The fourth panel shows a cat, holding a pillow, coming into the frame. A speech bubble from the cat reads, “I am so in.”
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Zach Bussey 🍁 @zachbussey.tos.gg · 12/08/2026
Twitch now uses your channel to train generative AI by default. You can opt out of some training here: www.twitch.tv/settings/sec...
Training for Generative AI

Allow your channel content to train generative AI content models at Amazon. Turning this off does not opt you out of Twitch and Amazon using your channel content for other purposes described in the Twitch Privacy Notice, including using AI-supported Twitch features that benefit the community by facilitating streamer growth and monetization (such as real-time sponsorship campaign assistance), viewer discovery (such as recommendations), and community safety (such as AutoMod). Learn more
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HemiDemi 🔞 @hemidemi.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Between the warmth of Martin's mouth and how eager he is to put it to use, Jon doesn't stand a chance. #donotarchive #vampau #jmart #nsfwart
The Magnus Archives fanart. 

An illustration of Vampire!Jon grasping and tugging at Martin's hair and shirt. Martin's head sits between Jon's legs, only the back of it showing as he enthusiastally sucks Jon's cock. 

Jon looks completely blissed out, if not a bit overwhelmed, with a smear of blood down his chin. As he's pulling up Martin's shirt, his nails leave red lines over Martin's skin, drawing fresh blood.
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SimplySnaps @simplysnaps.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Remember when Halo 2 released and proved it was the most successful media launch in history by quietly installing itself for free on your Xbox and forcing you to play it for 10 minutes every time you turned it on? If this shit was "the future" people would be waiting for it at midnight in the cold.
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Foxes In Love @foxes-in-love.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are on their way to the grocery store.
Blue: So we're out of coffee, my wood tar shampoo, and cola.
Green: Yep. Oh, and I need black fabric dye.
Blue: Right.
Green: We are on a quest for various dark goops.
Blue: ...I guess you can word it like that if you want.
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Kallidora Rho @kallidorarho.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
The author's brazen fetish, presented with such hedonistic flair and and open pride it makes you feel a little embarassed for needing to hide your own passions behind self-effacing jokes in order to preserve a sense of safe, pseudo-ironic detachment
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Micro💫 // Read INVariance! @antisocialmicro.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Hey. Can you feel that? You, right now, have the power to create. The power to shape reality. Something you probably thought was limited to fiction is possible every day. Pick up that pencil. Type that draft. Write that song. Take a dive. Make it happen.
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Pandam @pandam.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
seconds before disaster
Dani, baking in nothing but an apron, notices something on the floor behind them.  "Hmm, somebody could slip on that butter packet""If they were a SCRUB!!" I'd tech that shit easy!!!" They think to themself. Coral does not tech that shit.
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HemiDemi 🔞 @hemidemi.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
He slurmpin #vampau #jonathansims #themagnusarchives
Doodle of vampire!Jon drinking blood out of a little blood pack like a capris sun
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SpecialKimtamine™ 🚩🏴‍☠️🇮🇹🇺🇸🦈 @lorazekim.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
It really pisses me off that Google knows my location, passwords and number but keeps constantly asking if I am a robot
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
4 panel comic

Panel 1:
A post from “kavishj9611” that reads: 

“All the people who are anti-Al or want to slow Al progress, I have one question:
If Al disappeared tomorrow, could you still get through an entire workday without ChatGPT, Claude, or any other
Al tool?
Imagine Al was suddenly banned.
Would you actually be willing to give it up?”

Panel 2:
And Orange Guy and a Pink Guy are standing in a room that has two pipes in it. Both pipes are pumping raw sewage into the room. The characters are waist deep in it.
Orange Guy says smugly “Ok Mr “I don’t want to be in a room that’s filling up with raw sewage” let me ask you this”

Panel 3:
The sewage has reached their chests. Pink Guy is gagging. Orange Guy smugly continues “If all this sewage disappeared right now, could you get through the day without it?”

Panel 4:
The sewage is almost up to their eyeballs. Orange Guys says “Look at that shit floating past your face. Are you willing to give that up?”
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Foxes In Love @foxes-in-love.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue is pinned against the floor, strapped down with some kind of leather straps, a Green sits beside him.
Green: Do you feel safely restrained now?
Blue: Yep!

Gently, Green places a muzzle over Blue's face.
Green: A muzzle so you won't accidentally bite me.

Satisfied with his work, Green looks at Blue.
Green: Are you ready for your eye drops?

Blue taps the floor twice with his tail.
Green: ...Two taps for "yes."
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God @thegodshow.com · 05/08/2026
Racism will never bring down the cost of groceries or gas.
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Careful, Jenn Bites 🧛🏻‍♀️🩷🧛🏻‍♀️ @alldolledup44.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Target! What is you doin’?
A beige lamp that looks like the head of a penis
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The Onion @theonion.com · 01/08/2026
Sext Has Edit History
Sext Has Edit History
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Sarah Andersen @sarahseeandersen.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
The image is of a four panel comic.
The first panel shows Sarah, the protagonist, as a child. Off panel, someone says to her, “Enjoy your youth!”
The second panel shows child Sarah again, now frowning. The person off panel continues, saying “After you’re 30 you’ll be old and your life will basically be over.”
Before the last two panels there is text that reads “LIFE AFTER I TURNED 30.”
The third panel shows adult Sarah opening a door.
The fourth panel shows the door opens to a beautiful field with flowers, a rainbow, and a pond. Sarah says “Wait what.”
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Peter, what is this? 🔞 TEAM RUB @anyhoozlebee.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
happy yaoi day from these dorks
(Tre giving Olly a blowjob on Olly’s couch, Olly comes)Tre: ha ha ha…
Olly: ha?
Tre: YOU FOOL…. WHILE YOU W]HAD YOUR GUARD DOWN I CONSUMED YOUR ESSENCE! NOW I RISE UP ABOVE YOUR DICK MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER
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TwoSense @twosense.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
when Linda divorced the cyclops, she went back to her maiden name, Liinda
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HemiDemi 🔞 @hemidemi.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Jon having way too much fun testing their knight's mettle. Pretty sure they've been reading the same paragraph for like 20 minutes. #dragonau #nsfwart #jmart #donotarchive
Drawing of dragon!Jon and knight!Martin laid together in bed with Martin on top. Jon has a book in one hand, laying comfortably on their back while smiling up at Martin. Martin, in contrast, is trembling and clearly struggling.

A small window at the bottom corner shows what we can't see from this angle: Martin's cock is seated into Jon's ass, but not actively thrusting. Jon's slit is dripping wet, but also otherwise untouched.

Jon: It's difficult to read when you keep moving, dear. And I instructed you not to thrust until your told.

Martin: S-sorry...I'm trying to stay still, but you just feel so good, I can't...Jon, p-please...

Jon: You can have me however you like soon enough, dear. I promise. Just give me a few more chapters...
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
OH. COME. ON.
FDA announces recall on berries sold in 8 states for potential e.coli contamination 
                       😩🫐🤢
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👻👹 boo-rit 👹👻 @britculpsapp.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
christ if that’s not a metaphor for our times
reuters: 

Sunken Nazi warships resurface as water levels drop
Scuttled German WW2 warships have reemerged from the Danube in drought-hit Europe.
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
that is in fact literally in the bible. it's Matthew 6:5.
5 "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
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Dave Cactus @davecactus.bsky.social · 06/10/2023
ME: I had to fix dad's computer after the power surge. HER: Motherboard? ME: No, she was watching TV.
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CarGhoulshortasaurus @leptopterygius.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
A LOTR meme with text saying “When you were trying for a 60% on your math test but you only got a 35%” and theodin saying “less than half of what I’d hoped for”
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Bouba's Delivery Service @fernmonkey.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Every so often I teach someone how to spin yarn on a spindle. And I always tell them that the first yarn you make will not be good yarn, and it's not meant to be, because right now you are not making wool into yarn, you're making yourself into a spinner.
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Danielle Ryan (Lestat Era) @danirat.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
I'm gonna finish my book and then I want y'all to do this with it
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🐭GAY WRATH BEING🐭 @nommz.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
i see a lot of folks out there that feel awkward for doing this, and i'm here to tell you that, objectively, making this highly contrived worldbuilding for your kink scene -always- makes it hotter and you're right to do it.
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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
Why would somebody lie about liking big butts?
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Spooky Sara (Endless Halloween🔪🩸🪦) @pashion.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
They tell you to not buy avocado toast or a morning coffee out and then they tell you not buying these things are the death of the nation.
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