Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 29/03/2026How many mini eggs do you have to eat before you meet god 000
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 25/03/2026Trying to figure out why all my new friends are therapists and social workers 010
Reposted by Alicia KeysAaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 24/01/2026Protester in Minneapolis just before disappearing in gas: "Fuck you! Stop. Damn! I'm 70 years old and I'm fuckin' angry!" 760296599470
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 21/12/2025How long does it take y'all to finish a quart of eggnog 110
Reposted by Alicia Keysj @dyke.bsky.social · 10/12/2025babe is an insane name, please refer to me as big dawg 0298
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 06/12/2025Cleaned the house because I lost the remote, only to discover it was under the dog the whole time 000
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 29/11/2025What I like about mens skateboarding is when sometimes you can see their little buns 110
Reposted by Alicia KeysYell In a War @jelenawoehr.bsky.social · 18/11/2025hacking furiously at the invasive bamboo that is my social media feed, knowing that the shoots of unwanted information will only return 226725
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 18/11/2025I strongly disagree with the take that Paddington 2 is goated and I feel like the zoomers are pranking me 010
Reposted by Alicia KeysDC Pierson @dcpierson.bsky.social · 14/11/2025Bach, you have to stop. Your clavier is too well-tempered. Your concertos too Brandenburg. They’ll kill you 1462891
Reposted by Alicia Keysderek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 13/11/2025seeing how many people show up in jeffery epstein's emails makes me happy i never reply to anyone's email 8912880880
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 05/11/2025Life is good when the Ween cover band DM's you to let you know they're playing a show. 000
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Fuck all of you for getting my hopes up after a very stressful week. Let me know when it does happen. 020
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 28/08/2025Sorry babe, Harry Nilsson stays on during sex 🎵🎶 120
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 23/08/2025If Rosie O'Donnell can tweet on Ambien, I can send emails on salvia. 030
Reposted by Alicia Keyslittle lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 21/08/2025I need beans and I need weed. Everything else is epiphenomenal 3668
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 21/08/2025Resisting the urge to take a nap in the bathroom stall 010
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 19/08/2025Can't listen to Moby Dick on tape anymore since I threw up after trying trying to fall asleep to it while drunk. 110
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 12/08/2025Passively expecting my good behaviors to take over any day now 010
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 08/08/2025The War on Drugs, but (in Emerill Lagasse voice), let's kick it up a notch. 010
Reposted by Alicia Keyserika @yeeeerika.bsky.social · 07/08/2025if bagels can have everything so can i 317440
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 06/08/2025Telling my doctor I have blurry vision and headaches and also lost my glasses. 020
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 01/08/2025Maybe my friend's baby will come early so I can still attend the Viagra Boys concert 010
Reposted by Alicia KeysOctopus/Caveman @octopuscaveman.bsky.social · 23/07/2025Happy beans day to those who celebrate 152137588
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 21/07/2025Anybody else choking on their coffee from gulping too fast 000
Reposted by Alicia KeysAhhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 20/07/2025Treasure this moment cause you’ll never have fewer microplastics in you than you do right now 472312410
![Star Trek The Original Series scene. We're uncomfortably close in on Kirk, shot from a little under and looking up at him. We're in the transporter room but the lights are low and red so it's dark and eerie. He's a bit sweaty and moist looking, and has a scheming look on his face. Closed caption reads, "[SINISTER MUSIC]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:i6ocendj65mmddfndihajsky/bafkreidyf7danqkixctzav56rugi7gaqxgodvxao3fjf5ththsylpbr574)
