Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 29/03/2026How many mini eggs do you have to eat before you meet god 000
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 25/03/2026Trying to figure out why all my new friends are therapists and social workers 010
Reposted by Alicia KeysAaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 24/01/2026Protester in Minneapolis just before disappearing in gas: "Fuck you! Stop. Damn! I'm 70 years old and I'm fuckin' angry!" 759296419464
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 21/12/2025How long does it take y'all to finish a quart of eggnog 110
Reposted by Alicia Keysj @dyke.bsky.social · 10/12/2025babe is an insane name, please refer to me as big dawg 0298
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 06/12/2025Cleaned the house because I lost the remote, only to discover it was under the dog the whole time 000
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 29/11/2025I know this is objectification but if men can tweet this shit so can I 110
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 29/11/2025What I like about mens skateboarding is when sometimes you can see their little buns 110
Reposted by Alicia KeysYell In a War @jelenawoehr.bsky.social · 18/11/2025hacking furiously at the invasive bamboo that is my social media feed, knowing that the shoots of unwanted information will only return 226725
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 18/11/2025I strongly disagree with the take that Paddington 2 is goated and I feel like the zoomers are pranking me 010
Reposted by Alicia KeysDC Pierson @dcpierson.bsky.social · 14/11/2025Bach, you have to stop. Your clavier is too well-tempered. Your concertos too Brandenburg. They’ll kill you 1462891
Reposted by Alicia Keysderek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 13/11/2025seeing how many people show up in jeffery epstein's emails makes me happy i never reply to anyone's email 8912876880
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 05/11/2025Life is good when the Ween cover band DM's you to let you know they're playing a show. 000
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 30/08/2025Fuck all of you for getting my hopes up after a very stressful week. Let me know when it does happen. 020
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 28/08/2025Sorry babe, Harry Nilsson stays on during sex 🎵🎶 120
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 23/08/2025If Rosie O'Donnell can tweet on Ambien, I can send emails on salvia. 030
Reposted by Alicia Keyslittle lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 21/08/2025I need beans and I need weed. Everything else is epiphenomenal 3668
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 21/08/2025Resisting the urge to take a nap in the bathroom stall 010
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 19/08/2025Can't listen to Moby Dick on tape anymore since I threw up after trying trying to fall asleep to it while drunk. 110
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 12/08/2025Passively expecting my good behaviors to take over any day now 010
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 08/08/2025The War on Drugs, but (in Emerill Lagasse voice), let's kick it up a notch. 010
Reposted by Alicia Keyserika @yeeeerika.bsky.social · 07/08/2025if bagels can have everything so can i 317340
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 06/08/2025Telling my doctor I have blurry vision and headaches and also lost my glasses. 020
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 06/08/2025media.tenor.comtwo men are sitting at a table in a bowling alley with their hands on their head .ALT: two men are sitting at a table in a bowling alley with their hands on their head . 000
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 02/08/2025How many chucks would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood 000
Alicia Keys @missdemeanor.bsky.social · 01/08/2025Maybe my friend's baby will come early so I can still attend the Viagra Boys concert 010
