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Matty Barbs

@mattybarbs.bsky.social
104 followers 97 following 77 posts
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Matty Barbs @mattybarbs.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Yosemite Sam
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Jordan Haynie Ware @godwelcomesall.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
Good news: 2,000 years ago we killed God and this happened.
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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
Surely the business community will save us
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Matty Barbs @mattybarbs.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
@jeffcannata.bsky.social a couple weeks behind on the filmcast but can’t overstate how thrilled I am that someone else out there knows how hard the Super Kitties theme song goes
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Matty Barbs @mattybarbs.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
Consonance is the poor man’s alliteration
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Matty Barbs @mattybarbs.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
I don’t know what “Bundt” is but it’s the best kind of cake static01.nyt.com/images/2024/...
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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
Nobody seems to hark anymore. And FORGET about hearkening
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Walter Hickey @walthickey.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
you know not the day or hour? sounds like a skill issue man. my ranking? top 144,000 on competitive play, easy. not even close. i get it most camels probably can't pass through the eye of a needle but what you don't get is that i'm just built different. better, perhaps.
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Matty Barbs @mattybarbs.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
how I performatively read
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Jane Coaston @janecoaston.bsky.social · 12/07/2025
www.nytimes.com/2017/08/08/m...
nytimes.com
‘Virtue Signaling’ Isn’t the Problem. Not Believing One Another Is. (Published 2017)
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Lily Baker @lilybaker.bsky.social · 16/06/2025
you better take back what you just said about the beastie boys FUCKER. u may not like them but they FOUGHT for your RIGHT to PARTY
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Jeremy Glover @jgrantglover.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
The Coastal Elites with their young crustal accretions will never understand the power and strength of the ancient Midwestern craton. We lived through eons before you were even sutured to the continental margin. You are drifters. We are unmoving.
A map of continental crust age for the contiguous United States
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herenowandthere.bsky.social @herenowandthere.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
This is what peak beverage performance looks like
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Olivia Pumpkin Portlander 🐙🎃🍋🐊🦋☂️ @sallyfisherprice.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
Anyway, happy Easter.
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Jean-Michel Connard @torriangray.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
Moe labeled as the Romans throwing Barney labeled as Jesus Christ out of the bar. He dusts his hand. Behind him Barney emerges again.
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yaoi gagarin @mel.bzky.team · 29/03/2025
RANKING LITERALLY EVERY PROPHET IN THE BIBLE BY HOW GOOD OF A POSTER THEY WOULD BE IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER NO I AM NOT KIDDING (1/69)
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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
Hamburger Helper only “helps” a hamburger meet its doom… some friend
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Soren Spicknall @sorenspicknall.bsky.social · 28/12/2024
The Illinois Flag Commission recently named its 10 finalists for the state's flag redesign competition. The released designs were... mixed in quality. After @milesmacclure.bsky.social FOIAd to release all the submissions, I found many great designs that didn't make the cut. A thread of favorites:
A flag with three blue stripes and two white stripes, shaped with a triangular cutout on one end, featuring a thin golden border and a golden eight-pointed star at its center. The flag competition submission text reads:

Relationship to Illinois
I absolutely love this state, having grown up in the greater Naperville area and still pursuing higher education in Governors State University. Whether it's the suburban areas near Naperville (where I enjoyed my childhood) and Willowbrook (where I currently live), the busier city areas, Chicago (which bears its own mention), or the natural beauty all over this beautiful state, I want to show my appreciation for this
beautiful place.
Explain the meaning behind your flag
I wanted to embrace simplicity with this design. The main design element here is the odd shape. I was inspired by Nepal and Ohio but did not go as far as either of those flags. The stripes symbolize the rivers flowing through Illinois as well as the beautiful sky and skylines. I went for a star to mildly resemble those on Chicago's flag with more points and a golden color because Illinois is much more than Chicago. Contrast aside, it also resembled golden fringes. The dimensions are flexible.A light green flag with a white silhouette of a large, graceful tree at its center. The submission text reads:

Relationship to Illinois
I've lived in the beautiful state of Illinois since the day I was born. My dad has worked for the IDNR for 21 years, so l've spent a lot of time in parks throughout the state. In fact, I lived in a state park for 5 years! Camping is one of my favorite activities and many of our family vacations have been in the state parks. Regardless of where you live: the city, suburbs, or country, nature positively affects us all. I believe Illinois' flag should inspire all to appreciate nature.
Explain the meaning behind your flag
The white oak, Illinois' official state tree, represents the strength of the people of Illinois. The green background represents prosperity, vitality, and new life. The prairie represents the rich diversity of the state. This simple yet powerful flag represents many things; but most importantly, hope. As a small seed can find root and blossom into a strong, beautiful tree, so can a sliver of hope inspire us to make a difference for the betterment of our communities, state, nation, and world.A dark blue flag with a stylized golden shape at its center centering on a segmented six-pointed star that branches out into a crown of plant-like features. The submission text reads:

Relationship to Illinois
Born, raised, & residing in the suburbs of Chicagoland, Illinois has always been my home. I enjoy being part of my local community in Aurora, embracing both the natural beauty & vibrant culture around me. I've built a life here that thrives in the balance between natural & urban settings. Inspired by Illinois' diverse landscapes & the magic of its four seasons, this flag design reflects this connection. This design was made in collaboration with fellow Illinoisan, Josh Rinehart.
Explain the meaning behind your flag
This design reflects a united Illinois & honors all who call it home. The emblem, called The Crown of the Midwest, features golden grains symbolizing the wheat & corn of Central & Southern Illinois. The six grains at the crown's center form a star, echoing the Chicago flag, highlighting the city's leadership in industry, art, & culture. The 21 grains represent Illinois as the 21st state of the Union. The navy symbolizes
Lake Michigan, the Mississippi, Ohio, & Wabash Rivers bordering the state.A flag with a dark blue central segment flanked at the left and right by white segments. The central segment features a formal illustration of a figure of a bird, with nine stars below it. Four groups of three stars are arranged near the corners of the flag. The submission text reads:

Relationship to Illinois
I am not an Illinoisan, but have tremendous respect for the proud Indigenous and American history at the heart of our country and continent, where the Great Lakes meet our greatest river systems, from the ancient Mississipian culture to the historic Land of Lincoln and beyond.
Explain the meaning behind your flag
This flag highlights a rendition of the Peoria Falcon, a Mississippian culture copper artifact from about the year 1200, from a settlement of the same era as Cahokia. The rendition is by my friend Jerone Hsu, and the falcon is holding the state grass, big bluestem. The overall design is inspired by the Illinois Centennial Flag, with the broad band representing the lake and river systems, and 21 stars for our 21st state.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/12/2024
Tourist Impressed By Size Of Chicago Residents theonion.com/tourist-impr...
Tourist Impressed By Size Of Chicago Residents
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Soren Spicknall @sorenspicknall.bsky.social · 28/12/2024
I have gone through all 4838 Illinois Flag Commission design submissions that were released to @milesmacclure.bsky.social via FOIA so that you don't have to wade through countless Abe Lincoln silhouettes, bald eagles, and "LAND OF TAXES" grievance flags to find the funny ones. Thread starts here.
A light blue flag with an image of Bluey at its center, carrying a banner that reads State Sovereignty, National Bluey above white text that reads Illinois. The submission description says:

Relationship to Illinois
I don't have much of a relationship with Illinois, I just always wanted to participate in a state flag design competition. I am trying to think of something that I have related to Illinois, but I don't have anything and I'm not going to lie and say I have family there.

Explain the meaning behind your flag
The blue-heeler cartoon dog represents the below-average rate of dogs in Illinois and the need for more. It also represents Australia's looming takeover of young America's minds. The blue background represents Illinois's blue sky. The word "Illinois" written in Hello Headline font represents Illinois and the clouds. The scroll has the words "State Sovereignty, National Bluey" written on it, which serves as a tribute to the old flag.A flag comprised of an image of Abraham Lincoln with laser eyes burning a smaller Confederate flag. Its submission description reads:

Relationship to Illinois
Born and raised in Illinois, lived in the state for 18 years.

Explain the meaning behind your flag
16th US President and Illinoisan Abraham Lincoln is a symbol of our great state and his work in quashing The Confederacy in the American Civil War cannot be understated. The background color is meant to evoke that of a Union Army uniform of the period, with the red representing the blood he shed defending our democracy to the bitter end. Lincoln would be proud to fly this beautiful banner commemorating his achievements.A flag featuring Comic Sans text spelling Illinois at a jaunty angle with a drop shadow on a background that transitions from red to yellow to green to gray. The word Illinois is wrapped in a photo of a fish, with small text at the top left that reads "This flag was made in Waukegan, Illinois the 10th largest city in Illinois by population" and small text at the bottom right that reads "Alexi Giannoulias I hope you like my flag design you are our state's knight in shining armor". The submission description reads:

Relationship to Illinois
I have lived in Illinois my entire life. It is my home and I would die on the cross for her.

Explain the meaning behind your flag
When I think of my home state, I think of the great City of Waukegan (home of some important folks like Ray Bradbury and Jack Benny), a fish (Lake Michigan), and our lord and savior Secretary Alexi Giannoulias (President Obama's famed "basketball buddy"). I decided to include these three things in my design for the new Illinois flagA combination trans flag / Chicago flag motif with emoji images of the rainbow flag, a rat, and a pair of lesbians in its central white stripe. The submission description reads:

Relationship to Illinois
Long time resident.

Explain the meaning behind your flag
Gay rat wedding.
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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 18/12/2024
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the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 21/12/2024
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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
You can lead a horse to water, but it will not be super impressed. Horses know about water
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Matty Barbs @mattybarbs.bsky.social · 20/11/2024
Republicans should never win in IL again simply for privatizing and closing down all the emissions testing sites
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 11/05/2024
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