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Bort

@magistralcradle.bsky.social
66 followers 131 following 144 posts

Greetings fellow free speech hater.

PostsRepliesMedia
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Kristi Yamaguccimane @wapplehouse.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
A used car salesman I work with started wearing a shooting sleeve at work under his polo a few weeks ago so every time I pass him I get in a defensive stance and keep a hand-up and then pretend the ref called an offensive foul or illegal screen and it’s driving him insane
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Bort @magistralcradle.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Playoff Kiké is inevitable
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Heat (1995) @heatfilm1995.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Because she got a GREAT ASS!
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
FOUNDING FATHER FETTY WAPPING
Marshall 17
James Madison 38
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
man and woman in enormous yellow foam cowboy hatsNorm MacDonald on SNL in an enormous yellow foam cowboy hatHomer Simpson in an enormous orange cowboy hat with a camera at the Kwik E Mart
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treb @treblaw.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
yeah I use ai, I am ai-ming to drink some beers tonight
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"Le Chonk" @cdgoldstein.baseballprospectus.com · 01/10/2026
They say no one can hear you scream in space, but they don't say anything about people cheering as you're shoved out an airlock. Orbit's demise was the loudest reaction Houston heard all series.
Astros mascot Orbit with ELIMINATED underneath
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Holly Anderson 🍇 @hollyanderson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Big House looks nice today, let’s get in there and do something absolutely disgusting boys
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Dolphin Pilot @theamitie.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
[Hitting the buzzer so fast, it shatters into a billion pieces] PULLING ON MY PENIS
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Phineas @phineas.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
MPAA finally noticed Godzilla's been stark naked this whole time
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Los Angeles Dodgers @dodgersbot.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Today's Photo of the Game presented by Daiso.
A photo of Kiké Hernández celebrating at second base after he hit an RBI double.
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Casey Drottar @caseydrottar.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
The first career hit for Dodgers top prospect Josue De Paula was this freakin' moonshot
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
they changed the name from "Department of Defense" and now Army is giving up 40 yard passing touchdowns on 4th down to lose the game
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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Gus is calling Mateer “Johnny B Good” this is the top shelf shit I asked for
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Andy Wagner @awagner.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
@sickoscommittee.org enjoy the NC State band playing Petey Pablo at Lenovo Center during the weather delay
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Holly Anderson 🍇 @hollyanderson.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
never mind I found some perverted stuff to watch
western michigan leads michigan 3-7
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Hector Diaz @iamhectordiaz.com · 04/09/2026
"It's amazing no one got hurt during the Colorado game, especially with Bill Goldberg there"
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Rutgers invented college football in 1869 and has spent the last 160 years regretting the decision
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Bort @magistralcradle.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Pablo no!
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
So funny watching the media try to write 2000's era Grand Theft Auto Outrage articles now that the whole country is a casino run by murderers.
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Bort @magistralcradle.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Advertise your Bluesky account with a Simpsons GIF
static.klipy.com
Homer Simpson: The Lesson Is, Never Try
ALT: Homer Simpson: The Lesson Is, Never Try
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Michael @bravesandbirds.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Just a complete and absolute lack of ball knowledge on the Right.
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Benjamin Bailey @benjaminbailey.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
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Sitcom People @sitcompeople.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
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Comfortably Numb @numb.comfortab.ly · 10/08/2026
Warren Zevon, with speech bubble pointing to quoted post
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Bort @magistralcradle.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Good morning @ericstephen.bsky.social
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The Naked Gun (1988) @thenakedgun1988.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Frank, they're not here for you. Weird Al Yankovic is on the plane
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adrian @crawf34.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
it’s true. I ran over a guy in a crosswalk doing 75 the day clipse dropped “let god sort em out”
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Bort @magistralcradle.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
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Bort @magistralcradle.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
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The Naked Gun (1988) @thenakedgun1988.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
🎶And the rocket’s red glare, bunch of bombs in the air….gave proof to the night, that we still had a flag🎶
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
The first THIS IS A GUY of the season everybody drink
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Alex Kirshner @alexkirshner.com · 02/08/2026
You do not get to do the whole "baseball is ruined" thing because the Dodgers gave up two serious prospects, one of whom is 100 years old, for a two-month rental. On this particular thing, your team literally could have done it if they wanted
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Bort @magistralcradle.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
I lived off campus my senior year of college with 5 friends and someone broke into the house. The cop said it was “an inside job because no one took the food in the freezer (?)”despite the blatantly obvious footprint on the back door where someone kicked it in and the cop left.
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3Speed @3sp33d.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Somewhere Eddie Kingston is yelling “YOU AIN’T TERRY FUNK BROTHA!” at his tv
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Bort @magistralcradle.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
static.klipy.com
The Office: It's Happening!
ALT: The Office: It's Happening!
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Sometimes known as Chu @camdencottage.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
static.klipy.com
Macho Man Randy Savage: You May Not Like It But Accept It
Alt: Macho Man Randy Savage: You May Not Like It But Accept It
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treb @treblaw.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
How this email finds me:
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Awful Announcing @awfulannouncing.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
WGN posted a meme of Kyle Shanahan as Mitch McConnell when reporting on his car accident.
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
<Kash walking into the courtroom all googly-eyed> Judge: CASE DISMISSED
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Staci D. Kramer @sdkstl.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
>>They did so despite this man’s administration erasing Jackie Robinson’s military service from the Department of Defense website, trashing it as “DEI.”<<
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Niko Stratis @nikostratis.com · 23/07/2026
Warren Zevon singing into a microphone from the werewolves of London music video
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Jason Kirk @jasonkirk.fyi · 20/07/2026
(Me when Doctor Doom's diabolical schemes mean there are now too many Florence Pughs) Hold up, let Doctor Doom cook
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Bort @magistralcradle.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
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The Naked Gun (1988) @thenakedgun1988.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
That's not the umpire, Your Honor.
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 02/08/2025
Girl behind me shouting "don't drink it she's alive" to Leo at the climax of Romeo and Juliet and another girl in the theater yelling "bitch this story like a million years old"
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The Naked Gun (1988) @thenakedgun1988.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Ladies and gentlemen, let us honor America as Mr. Pallazzo will now sing our national anthem
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Nick Baumgardner @nickbaumgardner.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
static.klipy.com
Mark McGwire's Epic Dingers in The Simpsons
ALT: Mark McGwire's Epic Dingers in The Simpsons
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
<to the tune of Enter Sandman> EXIIIIIIT FLIIIIIGHT ENTER NIIIIIIIGHT TAKE MY HAAAAND BUDGET FLIGHT TO GERMANY
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Jason Kirk @jasonkirk.fyi · 11/07/2026
College football gamers have defeated capitalism
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