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Lauren

@laurenenen.bsky.social
270 followers 163 following 153 posts
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Reposted by Lauren
toilet bones @toiletbones.bsky.social · 23h
Found the email I sent when I got accidentally added to the faculty listserv of an orthopedic surgery clinic and nobody would remove me so I sent this email to all faculty/staff/med students and they removed me almost immediately
Hello Bone Colleagues, 
I have invented a new type of ankle and I'm very excited to show it to you. Early raccoon trials suggest a 60% increase in scurrying speed and dramatic increases in fine motor banditry. I know we are not supposed to create super raccoons, but I think you'll change your mind and professional ethics when you see how cute they are. I believe we are on the cusp of a new era in advanced human scurrying because if medical science has taught me anything, it's that improvements in raccoons correspond 1:1 to improvements in humans. 

--
[My name]
Chief Bone Inventor
Chair, Department of Foot and Leg Innovation
Lord Mayor, Musculoskeletal Medicine 
Hartford HealthCare,
The Bone & Joint Institute at Hartford Hospital.
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Loreseed @loreseed.com · 04/10/2026
Gee the machine that tells you what you want to hear told him what he wanted to hear? 🤦‍♀️
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Saeed Jones @theferocity.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I’ve had enough. It’s time we abolished leaf blowers.
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Dan Rather be building @danrather.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The Grim Reaper of American Democracy looks down from his tower at the destruction wrought in his wake and says "heyheyheyyy c'maahn I'm a little guy, I'm just a little guyy, noo, it's also my birthday, I'm a little birthday boyy"
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Polling USA @usapolling.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Jesus Christ dude
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neuse river hag @neuseriverhag.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
no it's true, those are the only choices, you either publish articles about everything you hear the moment you hear it or you sit on it for months to years so it can be in a book you sell. vodka goes bad once it's opened too i've heard
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Lauren @laurenenen.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
“Newsom loves to say the righteous thing when it costs nothing. But when it comes time to actually do something to help marginalized people, he conveniently discovers an out that lets him save face for his future presidential run.”
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Anat Shenker-Osorio @anatosaurus.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
A "loyal opposition," wedded to an order that no longer exists and a continuance of the status quo that helped make faux populist propaganda appealing, is integral to fascism. It gives plausible deniability that crimes against humanity are merely policy differences.
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
you left out the fifth scenario
President Donald Trump died when he hit a golf ball at a tree and it bounced back and bonked him in the nuts and then the tree fell and squashed him flat and his body hat to be peeled off the fairway

Positive 95%
Negative 7%
Net sentiment +88%
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Noah Berlatsky @nberlat.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
still evergreen. www.everythingishorrible.net/p/gavin-news...
everythingishorrible.net
Gavin Newsom Is A Piece of Shit
Let us count the ways.
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Ryan Marino, MD @ryanmarino.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I graduated med school in 2014. I was taught-and saw-how hard melanoma was to treat, like a death sentence Since then, new treatments have made it possible for people w/ the most advanced melanoma, like Jimmy Carter, to live to 100! We are killing ourselves by letting them destroy American science
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
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The Editorial Board @editorialboard.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
4. She is outraged, I guess, despite supporting a candidate who promised to stop the "poisoning of the blood of our country," and despite Republican conventioneers waving signs that read "MASS DEPORTATIONS NOW." www.nbcnews.com/politics/202...
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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
every single republican president of my lifetime has started a war in the middle east and destroyed the economy
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Lauren @laurenenen.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
“For Frodo.”
A painting of Aragorn charging the armies of Mordor, with Merry and Pippin right behind him.
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Lauren @laurenenen.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Our latest foster puppy is so teeny tiny and I cannot get over his “i am being very brave on my first day of preschool” stance.
An impossibly tiny gray and white puppy with very big bat ears is sitting in a grassy backyard looking like he is trying very hard at being the best boy ever. He is succeeding.
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Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin @ecmclaughlin.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Tim Walz was understating it when he called all these people "weird."
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
hasn't he been painting for like fifteen years at this point how is he still so bad at it
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Aleksandra Vaca @transiticsnews.com · 10/09/2026
I’m a Texan trans kid who almost died because of Ken Paxton. The world should know what he’s done. This was very difficult for me to write, but given what's at stake, I cannot bear to stay silent about what I went through at Paxton's hands. He must not be rewarded for what he's done to trans kids.
transiticsnews.com
I’m a Texan Trans Kid Who Almost Died Because of Ken Paxton. The World Should Know What He’s Done.
Regardless of Talarico’s recent statements on trans people, Paxton cannot be rewarded for the extreme suffering he’s inflicted on me and tens of thousands of Texan trans kids.
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Katelyn Burns @katelynburns.com · 10/09/2026
i don't care what the issue is, if your election opponent is running millions of dollars in ads about one single issue, you cannot, under any circumstances, say that your opponent is right about the issue.
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Jordan aka Jirdan @slclunk.com · 09/09/2026
Any answer other than “who gives a shit, republicans are using a dozen kids playing JV volleyball as a distraction from looting the county and covering for elite pedophiles” is cowardly horseshit
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Lauren @laurenenen.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Hell yeah, New Jersey. Greatest country in the world.
Dialect map with the great country of New Jersey in red.
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Ironbound @ironbound.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Man this guy sucks
Last September, when an aide told Fetterman that officials with the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, known as CHOP, wanted to meet because they were worried about Medicaid cuts, he was dismissive.
Fetterman
Why do I have to keep having to meet with chop
Aide
Because they are worried about vaccines and Medicaid cuts.
Fetterman
Well I'm not
[..]
I'm convinced they just want free trips to DC
Source: messages reviewed by WSJ
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kaymac1953.bsky.social @kaymac1953.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
"Democrats, noticing the symbolic importance of the (ballroom) structure, have started to weigh in on its future: Gavin Newsom... affirming that “we have to be builders” & not destroyers, would just leave things alone..." No on Newsom in 2028. No wishy-washy Ds. www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
theguardian.com
What should we do with Trump’s monstrous architectural legacy? | Jan-Werner Müller
Questions over Trump’s ballroom and other structures might not feel urgent. But when his reign ends, Trumpism must be repudiated
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
I wrote this piece a few hours ago about how Musk bears responsibility for today's GOP and how they, in turn, must be held responsible for his extremism, but the dollar figures are already out of date. A hateful bigot is funding the Republican midterm campaign. Seems sorta like a big deal?
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Moderation isn’t the answer — progressive populism is. I don’t understand how some members of my party hate the DSA and Hasan Piker more than literal white supremacists in our government. Especially if Democrats actually want to win.
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Micah @rincewind.run · 31/08/2026
the infuriating thing about all of the crises going on right now is that they were completely predictable the second they announced they were gutting food safety monitoring, everyone knew it would lead to a bunch of contamination and recalls! we could have just not done it! it's all so stupid
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Jessica Ellis @baddestmamajama.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
I am so sick of centrists pretending that mediocrity is what should be expected and asking people to do their jobs as they said they would is hopelessly naive. It really suggests that their own mindset is to slack off as much as they can get away with.
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Celeste Pewter @celestepewter.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
This is not pointed at anyone or anything in particular, genuinely. But a poll I just saw made me think to say this. When you start seeing polls come up on your TL, check the source before you hit RT/RS. I know it's tempting to be like YES THIS IS GOOD NEWS but... 1. Check the poling sample.
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Lauren @laurenenen.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Your honor, my three adopted sons were visiting me for our weekly family dinner at that time.
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Fake George Julian @smhten.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Just because Jack is a linguistic coward doesn’t mean the rest of us should be
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ProPublica @propublica.org · 28/08/2026
NEW: We obtained recordings of 160+ emergency calls made from or about an immigration detention center where three people died within six weeks. “They will not give them medical treatment,” one caller said, seeking help for a detainee with kidney stones.
propublica.org
Listen to 911 Calls From Inside an Immigration Detention Center: “We Just Need to Take Him to the Hospital”
Reporters don’t have access to Camp East Montana, one of the largest immigration detention centers in the country. Emergency calls from the Texas facility offer a glimpse of unfolding crises faced by ...
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
People have brought up this role in replies to me as being legitimately scary so he must have done a great job but for some reason Tim Curry saying he’s seen every episode of Criminal Minds at least twice is very funny and relatable
Tim Curry played the Devil in 'Legend' and Pennywise in "IT, but he said the darkest role he ever took was a two-episode serial killer arc on Criminal Minds.
Curry was a huge Criminal Minds fan who said he'd seen every episode at least twice. The role that rattled him most over the years was his two-episode guest arc on the show, playing a demented serial killer named Billy Flynn.
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I don't agree with arsonists but firefighters are too aggressive for me. I wish there was a... third way
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Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Consider that not a single one of these billionaire freaks and their executives loudly collaborating, are at all worried about what Democrats will do if they get back in power. Not a single dem leader is calling for them to be meaningfully punished or even inconvenienced for going whole fash.
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Leah Greenberg ❌👑 @leahgreenberg.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Just the purest, deepest evil.
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Lauren @laurenenen.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Grateful to have a rep who’s a real one! @analiliafornj.bsky.social 👏👏
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Rebecca Fishbein @bfishbfish.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Not going to make any public statements at this time about another 80-year-old Home Alone 2 star being *right there*
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FT @fucktheory.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Imagine being talented and beautiful and rich and famous and still the most noteworthy thing about you is how good a person you are.
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Abdul El-Sayed @abdulelsayed.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
We're being told that if we sacrifice the rights of some people, then the rest of us get to keep our rights. We all know that's some BS.
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Derek Fox @partialobserver.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Trump Admin canceling mRNA research is, literally, them standing in the way of a cure for fucking cancer
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Craig Calcaterra @craigcalcaterra.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Just saying that if one needs to create a fantastical science-fiction scenario based on a character that was created purely for comic relief purposes in an homage to old Flash Gordon serials in order to make one's point, one's point is really fucking stupid.
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James Downie @jamescdownie.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
"Out of 152 cases of identified immigration officials or contractors accused or convicted of criminal behavior, 131 of them, or 86.2 percent, were charged with sex offenses. Seventy-eight of them—51 percent of the entire cohort—"committed sex offenses against children."
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
I think it's charming that people believe the Natalie Harp story matters to anyone at all when this guy got re-elected after trying to overthrow the government and wrote a personalized birthday card to the world's most famous pedophile that said "may every day be another wonderful secret"
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Carl T. Bergstrom @carlbergstrom.com · 14/08/2026
"But Carl, it's fun and creative. That's why we literally have to force you not to throw it in the garbage."
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Incredible stuff from Cards Against Humanity, who is now building a monument to interfere with SpaceX.
Why do you keep calling Elon Musk “a sad little bitch with no friends”?

Great question! (1) He is sad, (2) he is a bitch, and (3) he has no friends.

Did Elon Musk spend his 47th birthday alone, with no friends?

Yes.

Did Elon Musk beg Jeffrey Epstein for an invitation to his island, but get rejected?

Yes.

You’re saying that even the world’s most infamous pedophile didn’t want to be Elon Musk’s friend?

Yes.
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Murshed Zaheed @murshedz.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
"Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers may soon be outfitted with gloves that can deliver painful electric shocks intended to gain compliance from combative individuals." Susan Collins & Congressional Republicans voted to fund all of this.
apnews.com
AP Exclusive: ICE plans to give officers gloves that can deliver painful electric shocks
Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers may soon be outfitted with gloves that can deliver painful electric shocks that are intended to gain compliance from combative individuals.
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