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mateo’s bluesky

@laserpipe.bsky.social
258 followers 304 following 803 posts

burner account. Haha, unless… #neocuirinsurgenciesoftheleft nyc via chicago, they/them/elle 🔮

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oomfa thurman @bigfatmathew.bsky.social · 11h
So there’s this best song ever recorded in the fleeting history of our worthless people
music.apple.com
Everything Is Embarrassing by Sky Ferreira on Apple Music
Song · 2012 · Duration 4:09
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oomfa thurman @bigfatmathew.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Good morning
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Alejo @alethots.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Monday again 😵‍💫🫡
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Fcf
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Steve @steventhelion.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Good nite #mcm
Black and white pic
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Tepok Dion @magicsherep.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Sunday yoga done! Sun salutation to you!
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
!
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The Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026
The Paramount–Warner Bros. Merger By The Numbers theonion.com/the-paramount-warner-b…
90%
Increase in probability that DoorDash driver once wrote an episode of The Pitt
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 24/09/2026
Never been to the opera before? Now’s your chance. We’re giving away 70,000 free tickets to the @metopera at the iconic Lincoln Center. Go to on.nyc.gov/opera to enter the lottery. There’s not a bad seat in the house.
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
It is truly almost fcf Time flies-
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Alejo @alethots.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Finally dusted off the running shoes 🥲🫡
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
see u there-
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Triple Threat @queerxoxox.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
They don't know I'm plugged up and doing house chores
Me standing in front of a mirror with my pants pulled down to reveal a black thong and my ass. I have a dildo inside me that no one can see
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Lol @ the targeted ad for hinge I saw today 🤔
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Brandton 🏳️‍🌈 @brandtonwithad.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Please do not respectfully look at me. All thirst over me should be disrespectful only
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Alejo @alethots.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Really could use a helping hand 😔
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Juan Carlos @hernameisjuan.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Happy Fat Guy Friday 🧸
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
It’s slutty Saturday they just announced it
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hoelivia rodrigo @bukkakemochi.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
mentally still here ☀️
selfie of a man sitting on a beach lounge with a towel draped behind, stitched with the four seasons logo
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Hi bsky
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Steve @steventhelion.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Cleaned up the sides and feel like a human again
SelfieSelfie x2Selfie just cutting off show anything nude
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Karlos the Frociaggine @karlosthefog.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Enjoy some bonuses. Dont say I don’t give you anything.
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Luis (Louie) G. Rendon @lrendon.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
It should be illegal for dumb dumbs to reply to my posts
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The Onion @theonion.com · 12/09/2026
Everything Finally Clicks For Man After Getting Diagnosed As Stupid
theonion.com
Everything Finally Clicks For Man After Getting Diagnosed As Stupid
CARY, NC—Describing the experience as “a revelation,” 38-year-old Derrick Henard told reporters Wednesday that everything had finally clicked for him after he was given a diagnosis of stupid. “I remem...
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Karlos the Frociaggine @karlosthefog.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Me when I travel to a city where I got haters
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
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Nickle ala Fae @nicklealafae.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Now I’m all sweaty 🥵
Lifted shirt and sweaty hairy stomach
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The Onion @theonion.com · 11/09/2026
What To Know About The 2026 Emmys theonion.com/what-to-know-about-the…
Q: What happens if someone’s speech goes too long?
A: They have to go on The Masked Singer.
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
www.eventbrite.com/e/myriad-of-... I’m hosting! Featuring Sheria Mattis, Jess Henderson, & more TBA!
eventbrite.com
Myriad of Reasons: An Evening of Stand-Up Comedy
Comedian Mateo Rodriguez-Hurtado (Glory W(hole) hosts a nonplussed night of stand-up feat. Sheria Mattis and more TBA! Live at Young Ethel's
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Alejo @alethots.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Running late for work and hump day 😅
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oomfa thurman @bigfatmathew.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Her body tea
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
My j*ckstrap is really picturesque hmm-
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Nickle ala Fae @nicklealafae.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Showered and ready to relax for the rest of the afternoon
Selfie freshly out of a shower
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The Onion @theonion.com · 05/09/2026
“I could have given everyone on Earth perfect, symmetrical proportions, so why didn’t I?” — The Lord God
theonion.com
God Struggling To Remember Why He Made So Many Ugly People
THE HEAVENS—Scratching His head and rifling through His notes as He tried to recall His reasoning for the decision, The Lord God, Supreme Creator of the Universe, reportedly struggled to remember on F...
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jacob galapagos @jacobgalapagos.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
It’s think for yourself thursday
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
🚨 New York City , I’m hosting a stand up comedy show called MYRIAD OF REASONS on Saturday Oct.24th at 7pm at Young Ethel’s 🫂 ticket link and lineup coming soon xx
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
open.spotify.com/track/5oYVxF...
open.spotify.com
Ride Or Die, Pt. 2 (with Villano Antillano & Tokischa)
Sevdaliza, Villano Antillano, Tokischa · Ride Or Die, Pt. 2 · Song · 2024
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Pancita Papi @pancitapapi.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Here we are again…#TummyTuesday
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Gabe “the babe” 🌈✌🏼 Wet Oso 26 @frost2101.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Dad got some new gear 🖤🤙🏼🐷
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Alejo @alethots.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Feeling a little cheeky for hump day 😜
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Jorge Caldera @jorcald.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
*screaming while they tie me up and shove me into a pumpkin* SUMMER ENDS SEPT 21!!! WE STILL HAVE A MONTH OF SUMMER
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
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it’s ya boytober Nixo 🌈🎃 @nixostorme.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Seeing at least three (3) bloomfs today. Getting my reps in for some good hugs
Flexing mirror selfie of me at gym
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mateo’s bluesky @laserpipe.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
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🏖️ 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕖 𝕡𝕒𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕠 🏖️ @paradisepapito.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
If anyone wants to help contribute to my goal, please consider donating to the following 🙂‍↕️💕 venmo.com/u/jordansvenven onlyfans.com/papitosparadise
Wearing a thong in bed
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The Onion @theonion.com · 27/08/2026
‘This Is Like Something Out Of A David Lynch Film,’ Says Man Driving Car With Headlights On
‘This Is Like Something Out Of A David Lynch Film,’ Says Man Driving Car With Headlights On
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Triple Threat @queerxoxox.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Thong day
Mirror selfie of me wearing a thong
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🌞 @ravenexua.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
“ojalá“ used in sentence
static.klipy.com
Boy's Adorable Happy Dance
Alt: Boy's Happy Dance
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