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KB

@ktb543.bsky.social
449 followers 132 following 19K posts

F 💅🏼 UK 🇬🇧 Queer 🌈 Neurodiverse 🌶 . Lover of words, laughter and dogs. Usually very friendly unless provoked otherwise . A bit feral . Sweary .

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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 14h
Oh no

Oh dear

Either way this mix up went, it was going to end badly

M&S
100% OAT LATTE COLD BREW COFFEE

M&S
EXTRA DRY, GIN TONIC
WITH INDLAN TONIC WATER
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 16h
Me: does anything My body:
static.klipy.com
Alt: The bloke from The Office America saying "Nope, don't like that!"
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 18h
I just need a week in an induced coma, in a cool dark room, with nobody asking me a single question. They* should bring back laudanum. (*I don't know who they are, just generally)
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Kate Bevan @katebevan.com · 29/09/2026
*hums Rule Britannia*
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Draculosity Jones: Ghost Skeleton @brainmage.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Like, I am breathing the clearest I have ever brothen in my entire life.
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Standing on the street at 9pm, waiting for a man on a bike to bring me dinner, the dulcet tones of a woman violently vomiting outside of a nearby pub filling the air. London; never change.
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
While we're at it - "seafood" sticks also need to get in the sea. Which I suppose would be a new sensation for them, since I doubt any of the ingredients have as much as looked at the ocean before.
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Thought: putting breaded chicken in sushi should be illegal.
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Tech support for the over 70's
static.klipy.com
Man's Playful Seatbelt 'KMS' Moment
Alt: Man's Playful Seatbelt 'KMS' Moment
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Rob Palk @robpalk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Amazing contrast to Starmer's buttoned up style as Burnham delivers his speech stripped to the waist and covered in peanut butter, repeatedly diving into the audience
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Essential travel companion
A teeny travel tin of Maldon Sea Salt
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I just read a post from someone where they were rushed to A&E and given strong pain killers. And lost their mind. "Apparently, I kicked things off by speaking Latin. I don't know Latin." 😂😂😂
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I am unbelievably envious of anyone who is blessed with the ability to sleep well.
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
yarr
orange cat in the middle of licking his chops
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Going to Mirtala in Chiswick for dinner this week - which is verrrry exciting as Jay Rayner had good things to say about it.
Menu at Mirtala, a new northern mexican restaurant in ChiswickMenu at Mirtala, a new northern mexican restaurant in Chiswick (page 2)
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Colossal clusterfuck of a day. I'll come back to explain more but...just...don't use Booking.com 😆
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
OH GOOD got ya stereotypical Grumpy Lundun Cabby. Moaning about the government, how the city isn't what it used to be, house prices, etc. Give it a rest m8.
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Not reassuring?
Due to a communications issue this lift alarm may not work.
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Train man: "there is an issue with the train, meaning we're only running on three engines - if we all breathe in and cross our fingers, we might make it through the Paddington" Ah. The British train network. Running on hope and prayer alone. (also how many engines SHOULD we be running on?)
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
omg a CELEB (SLEB) is on my train. And - more significantly, one know AND like!
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Man on the train has bought his own portable router, which is suckered to the window. I'm absoloutely gripped by it, but don't wish to stare. We are both busy working - and neither of us have made hints at being up for a chat. Would it be weird to ask about it, even just the make/brand? 👍👎
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
oh my god THIS. People need to stop being so hopped up on anxiety about AI. YOU programme the assistant to achieve a goal. YOU set guardrails. YOU monitor, troubleshoot & amend it to optimise. YOU pick what data/info sources it uses. It's just a fancy algorythm. It isn't sentient. Chill x
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
One of my favourite colleagues left the company to work elsewhere and has recently returned - JUST in time for an all team event in London this week. We're both pumped.
Me: SO EXCITE. Prepare to be hugged x

Her: you read my mind, I was literally going to say let the hugging flow x
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
VERY FUN that I should get a colossal nosebleed minutes before I get on a train for a long journey.
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Just checked my train. It's delayed. "This service has been delayed because of the train departing late to maintain customer connections" wtf does that mean please??!
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
My sister got a new car and was explaining to the kids what to look for, to find it in the car park. The littlest one called the new car "a vulva" (it is a Volvo)
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Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Ah yes the circle of life
• Dispatched
Sep 25 23:03 pm
In Transit
Sep 26 09:52 am
Delayed
Sep 26 10:57 am
Held By Carrier
Sep 26 15:07 pm
Destroyed
Sep 26 15:08 pm
13594181562
KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Nearly bit at a bloke being Racist On The Internet (shock) only to see he had commented that the UK is "ethically white" (assuming he means ethnically) and that made me realise, I can save my stress and let him just be a thick cunt without my intervention. I assume this is what they call "growth"
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Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Libra: Your season is here! Touch grass! Pet a dog! Toss that corpse that’s just been gathering dust in the woodshed into the bog! Skip rope!
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Louis Theroux! On stage with Jon Ronson! What duo. Jon joked "when we were coming up in journalism together I felt like we were conjoined twins, separated at birth. And for one of us to succeed, the other had to die"
Jon Ronson on stage with surprise live guest Louis Theroux 🤌🏼👆🏼Jon Ronson on stage with surprise live guest Louis Theroux 🤌🏼👆🏼
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Bought this at a pride event in Totnes this week 💞🌈
A squiggly drawing by artist Lisa Gornick that says

"With you I can say the things I've always wanted to tell someone"
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Trying this again! A month ago - during the show I bought a ticket for - the live stream crapped out. So they invited me back. What a wild story.
Jon Ronson - the journalist - doing a live talk about his new book The Castle
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
More from @semidetachedreality on #Instagram #property #housing #photos #OpenPlanShitter www.instagram.com/semidetached...
A bedroom with a huge, seemingly real, taxidermy brown bear in the corner.A bedroom with a very low shiny reflective ceiling. It looks very stupid.A bedroom where every wall, units and ceiling is covered in terrible, highly patterned beige/brown wallpaper a massive, vaulted glass greenhouse-style skylight roof over an absurdly ornate bath, up a flight of stone stairs. Slippy nightmare.
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Trying to unpick the mystery of a missing parcel. My mother's helpful input (this is what we call a man who lives in my building)
Mum: The cunt may have taken your parcel.
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
LOL - replied that I've downloaded the app (+ created an account, opted into location tracking, opted into email comms & push notifications) For them to email back: "not necessary - there will be keys left at the property" How that info has changed between 8.30am and 11.30am?? wut 🧐
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Another day, another frustrating session of "tech support for pensioners" who are 200 miles away and moaning about being upable to use an app. FML
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Checking into an air B&B tomorrow. They just sent me the accesss details, which involves downloading a fkin app to use the homes smart lock to get in and out. Ridic. Just give me a key! Let me live!
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 10/10/2023
About to get thrown out of here for obvious reasons
Pumpkin hoop
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
A biiiiig shiny autumn moon photographed from my living room window. The sky has some clouds and is dark grey and dark blue in areas. In the foreground you can see some lights from buildings and the outline of a tree.
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
A large ginger cat being hit in the face with a ball that says "Christmas is in three months"

The meme perfectly captures the feeling of being suddenly overwhelmed or caught off guard by how fast the end of the year is approaching.
020
Reposted by KB
KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
We need to normalize cunt in the workplace
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Had a load of fresh jalapeños from a mexican meal I made for my friend last night, so sliced them up and threw them into my stir-fry this evening, fairly absent mindedly. And moments later, began choking on the capsaicin vapour 😳😵‍💫😵
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Trying to sort meds: * For today * For the week - into pill sorter * Extras to pack to take away * Pile for empty packaging Also, juggling a change of dosages and adding a new medicine while away. And trying not to mix any of these piles up.
static.klipy.com
Alt: Spongebob doing rainbow hands with the word "MATHS"
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
All of these would make amazing dog names.
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
My friend came for dinner last night, and on my request bought her excellent dog. He decided to snooze between me, the oven and fridge during cooking - for max food supervision. But once all the food was consumed and he was sure nothing would be dropped, he went and got comfy.
A liver and white Brittany Spaniel curled up tightly on a wooden floor - looking at me taking a picture.A liver and white Brittany Spaniel curled up tightly on a wooden floor - looking away from me at his mother.A liver and white Brittany Spaniel curled up tightly on a big squishy dark navy blue love seat. Behind him is a cushion and a vertical glowing light.
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Sebas @ohlookbirdies.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
Back when I was working a library floor I was once asked if we had "The sadness of pi" After some digging, we figured out she wanted "The solitude of prime numbers"
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Anyone else find it gross when men refer to their partner as "my mrs" or "the mrs" like...hello. I imagine they have a name?
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Asking for me.
Me googling "can you get stupider as you get older?"
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Seem to be operating on the brink of tipping into a panic attack at all times at the moment, which is just massive lolz. The to-do list is absolutely overwhelming. My brain feels like it's operating with the efficiency of a long-forgotten pan of cold porridge. There's so much to do 🙀
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KB @ktb543.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Friend came for dinner last night and bought this as a gift. She said it remindeded her of my hair. Apparently a "Japanese Bird's Nest Fern" - which is fair 😂
A large quite mad looking fern with crinkley leaves in a Hessian pot.
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