🏊♀️ Does anyone have a place in the Marathon Swims event at the London Aquatics Centre on 1 November they can no longer use? I would love to take it off your hands! Happy to pay whatever you paid for it. 🏊♀️
Jean Adams 🏴🇨🇦
@jeanmadams.bsky.social
1.4K followers 383 following 244 posts
Professor of diet and public health at MRC Epidemiology Unit, University of Cambridge. Munroist, baker, knitter, skier, swimmer. She/her. www.mrc-epid.cam.ac.uk/people/jean-…
![A comic from 2022 I think, Halloween week - here's the script:
The scene is a darkened woods, at night. All is depicted in dingy blues and purples. In a lonely moonlit clearing we see a CABIN. its windows are dark, clearly unoccupied. A lone figure runs towards it, from the trees. Closer in on them now - we see they are terrified. The race for the door of the cabin, desperately trying to enter. They rattle the door, frantically. It is locked. They look behind them. We see the darkened, black trees of the woods. In amongst the forest, we see the black silhouette of a figure. It walks closer. Closer still. Closer - and now we see it is holding a chainsaw. It emerges into the light, slowly the shadow lifts from its face. It is wearing a mask. The victim silently screams in a rictus of horror. This can't be happening, no, no, no. Closer, closer now it lifts the chainsaw high above its head as it speaks:
MURDERER:
This murder is brought to you by MeUndies.
VICTIM:
What?
MURDERER:
If you're like me you'd kill for comfortable underwear -
VICTIM:
Sorry -
VICTIM:
Are you...
doing a *podcast*?
MURDERER:
I knoooww...
It's such a cliché
Everybody's got one these days!
VICTIM:
But I thought you were trying to murder me?
MURDERER:
Indeed! I'm a true crime podcaster driven mad by having to change gear between horrific human tragedy and adverts for MeUndies.
MURDERER:
So just tap in offer code I'M BEING MURDERED with your bloodied, trembling hand for 20% off some pants!
MURDERER:
Now, back to the murder-
[he revs up his chainsaw again]
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibykzdireisel5kc6kg6trjvf4clhzdnf6o7fikvmioisro3f45ku)
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for the Guardian, here's the script:
[Scene is the inside of a SOUP. Some CARROTS and BITS OF BROCCOLI are floating around and a STOCK CUBE and a BAY LEAF have just been dropped in.]
1
STOCK CUBE:
Alright lads - this is Bay Leaf.
My colleague from the spice rack.
2
BROCCOLI:
Hi Bay Leaf
BAY LEAF:
Yuh yuh hi
3
CARROTS:
You up for getting proper blended with us later, Bay Leaf?
BAY LEAF:
Nuh mate, getting scooped out before soup stage.
4
CARROTS:
Oh! So… you’re not being eaten then?
BAY LEAF:
Eaten! Haha
5
BAY LEAF:
Not allowed mate.
I’m afraid I’m a lil’ bit *toooo intense*...
6
BAY LEAF:
Just here for the flavour hit.
Special forces, y’know.
That’s why there’s just one of me.
7
BAY LEAF:
Over-deploy and you’d have this whole soup stiiinking of bay leaf…
8
BAY LEAF:
You might wanna stand back actually.
This place is about to get preeetty bay leafy...
9
[Silent pause]
10
CARROTS:
Are you doing something
BAY LEAF:
Sure am mate.
11
BAY LEAF:
Suuuuure am.
12
BAY LEAF [Getting scooped out by chef’s spoon]:
You need training to perceive it.
CARROTS:
OK](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibguu2d74i7v7yrkx2z5vsiluhrnkp2uayri2gmcm4gpl4d3dvlgq)
