iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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I accidentally spent £17,700 on 400 subscriptions to the LRB for Home Office staff and now the Life in the UK test is asking applicants to rank Derek Jarman films from most to least emotionally resonant?

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 14h

The Guardian | Culture | REVIEW: Visionary creator brings wit and charm to sparkling adaptation of beloved classic ⭐⭐⭐☆☆

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🔥✍️🐦‍⬛ @rookscript.reductive.group · 29/09/2026

Our long national bedtime is over

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

first eye test in two decades and the optician said i "should have been a fighter pilot", so i'm now casting around for more superfluous medical appointments to keep this high going

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

watching with fear as every year this inches closer to being about my demographic cohort and seeing more and more of the pieces falling into place

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Airport passenger STUNS security by removing belt, watch and liquids over 100ml in one fluid motion; acclaimed by grateful queue for nous and prescience

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I thought this was just beautiful. Kurt Vonnegut takes a walk to mail a letter:

She calls out, “Where are you going?” And I say, “I am going out to get an envelope.” And she says, “Well, you’re not a poor man. Why don’t you buy a thousand envelopes? They’ll deliver them, and you can put them in a closet.” And I say, “Hush.”

I go next to the postal convenience center down the block at the corner of 47th Street and Second Avenue. The woman behind the counter says, “Thirty-nine cents for a stamp.” I say, “I only brought thirty-seven. When did that change?” She looked at me a long time. “Thirty-seven isn’t enough.” “Well that oughta be enough for one envelope,” I said. The line was getting longer.

The lady moved her hand into her coat. I knew this routine. I backflipped behind the man behind me in line, wrapping my elbow around his throat as I landed. By the time the stamp seller had unloaded her clip, I had full cover. The gentleman’s body dropped to the floor, six holes smoking. The package he was carrying fell to the floor with a heavy clunk. Whatever was in there, it would do.

I rolled my foot over the cardboard and did a “flick up” as they call it in soccer. I bounced the package once or twice on the back of my foot as the mail lady reloaded, then I launched it high and spun 360 to deliver my patented “Rising Phoenix kick”. The package caught fire as it shattered through the protective plexiglass window and struck the woman’s head with all the force and hatred I had learned to channel in my grueling tutelage under five fallen Wudang masters in my youth. The lady’s body exploded off of her bones, leaving just a blackened skeleton spinning in her office chair. “So it goes,” I said, but no one laughed. I guess they weren’t big readers.

And I go home. And I have had one hell of a good time.

We are dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up and go out and do something. We are here on Earth to fart around. Don’t let anybody tell you any different.

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 31/05/2026

oh neat, my shower head has a secret setting, i think, as a single beam of ultra-pressurised water passes clean through my skull, killing me instantly

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

your boyfriend has a self-described complex relationship with the New Statesman

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 04/11/2025

babe, i need you to level with me. do you think i'm coded like the pleasant but ineffectual boyfriend in the first act of a Nora Ephron rom-com? don't pull your punches here. would you ever go Meg Ryan mode on me??

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 02/04/2025

"Please babe, there's a 4.4 ⭐ just three more blocks away" - The Google Maps Reviews Boyfriend

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

(Goodbye Lenin-ing my 38 year-old friend) Wow - an extraordinary joint session of TikTok and Reels has bestowed the vacant title of Greatest Generation onto millennials, for their bravery in "living through 9/11, the financial crisis and a literal global pandemic". Isn't that incredible buddy?

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

The Peculiar Economist: Let's just say my latest findings are somewhat .. counter-intuitive 😏

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I'm the guy at Anthropic in charge of the big red Recursive Super-Intelligence button. Whenever the office needs livening up, I pretend I'm about to drop it, or put my coffee mug down on it, to a chorus of screams. Dario Amodei can't fire me due to Bayesian priors

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Bridge @iebrdgt.bsky.social · 23/10/2025

Recalling my favourite ever pub toilet football sticker

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

The OBR has scored my willingness to purchase flat whites and baked goods as likely to add 0.1% to GDP over this parliament, in what economists are hailing as a 'much-needed' boost to UK fiscal stability

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Grobian Syboe @grobiansyboe.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Meals for Husbands - They contain everything a husband needs to be healthy and happy. Your husband will maintain a supple pelt and strong bones, he will sleep and wake with ease, he will see with clear eyes and be content.

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

A single can of diet coke from the little Sainsbury's on a Sunday afternoon is known in the trade as "The Gentleman's Purchase"

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

guys will be saying "he's just like me for real" reading Wolf Hall - buddy you are a minor functionary in English local government 🤨😭

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Noel Murray @noelmu.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

From roughly 1981 to 1988 every American movie set in a city began this way.

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

I work at 23andMe and when I get bored I sort the big spreadsheet by % Neanderthal DNA and then grab the top 2 guys addresses and fake write letters threatening to kick their ass signed by each other and then take wagers on the fight from my coworkers

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

I recently interviewed a traveller from an antique land. Their experience in arid environments with sizable, defunct monumental sculpture (sans torso) stuck with me. While they didn't get the position, here's three key takeaways they taught me about the fleeting nature of earthly power 👇

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Ste Jormur @stejormur.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

"In his cliche and uninspired decision to depict Scylla as an math rock band from 2006 having a 20 year reunion, and Charybdis as a up-and-coming trance-rap duo in heavy rotation on Afrodeutsche's 6 Music playlist, Guy misunderstands both the concept of xenia and of schedule clashes."

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Emily Wilson has slammed my re-imagining of the Homeric epic - with 28-year old knowledge economy worker 'Oddy' steering his male friends through the trials and temptations of a four-day mid-size independent music festival - as "narcissistic and frankly insulting"

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 03/02/2026

incredible scenes at the Euston urinals - dozens of men holding hands and chanting "Put your phone away and have a proper piss"

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more mr. nice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

responding to a diss track with a song called Genuinely Thought We Were On Good Terms

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

“It is only when we start to learn to know how to understand, that we realize the wisdom of our ideas.” - Thinker’s Credo

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Hundreds of people on my train on their feet applauding the display of state capacity. Man next to me in tears - "I thought Whitehall was hollowed out". A turning point for Britain? 👏 @andyburnham.bsky.social

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

her: wow you've really got the bit between your teeth this morning me (gnawing on my drafts folder through the phone screen) yeahhrgnfhh

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Gen Z here 👋 Is it really true that millennials were the coolest - and dare I said sexiest - generation of all time?

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

While you were blasting ethical romantasy in your Airpods, I was partying with the millennials at the community vape shop

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 21/12/2025

Lineup for 'Will This Do?' festival 2026 unveiled, featuring The Fratellis (Chelsea Dagger 17th anniversary tour), Jess Glynne, and Groove Armada (DJ set)

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

(lying to myself) Yeah I'd say i look directly at the sun on a pretty regular basis?

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

saw your boyfriend out trying to make an improvised pin camera with a sieve 😕

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

second reference-ing the eclipse as "the irregular celestial phenomenon" to the general annoyance of my group chats

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

😬 think i just reversed over the dogs from Overmono

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

everyone's saying my "exacting" approach to festival planning is taking the joy out of their spontaneous enjoyment of music and each other's company. but i think i will be accepting apologies when we sprint to catch precisely 13 minutes of Pitchfork's Best New Music March 2023 ?

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

bro did you seriously just confuse the map for the terrain 😬

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

(society enjoyer who i just completely blanked in my Airpods) Think positive. Maybe he's appreciating a great and moving work of literature. Maybe he's listening to the last recording of a beloved relative me, blasting white noise 24hr mix: I'm da king of social atomisation

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 12/10/2025

(A House of Dynamite voice) Mr President, I'm afraid a new feature on dating apps and AI has been launched from somewhere within the Guardian Lifestyle features section - and we think we have at most 18 minutes before it hits the timeline.

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Nit Nurse With Wound @dannybirchall.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

all the essentials at the airport

Three magazines: Roblox, Air Fryer and Nick Cave, on a shelf

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

(visibly panicked flight attendant) Is there a gonzo journalist on this plane??

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

just paid the Danegeld ... let's just say i'm feeling prettyyy good about the likelihood of any future Dane-related incidents 😏

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clamplifier @clamplifier.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

senior lecturer in digital economy and society: think positively. maybe it’s a creative act, what if they’re building connections, perhaps this is just how their brains develop….in a way it’s quintessentially social fifty five year old ruining the morning bus: i’m da king of blasting tiktok

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Normal Guy @guy-normal.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

hey man. are you coming to check out my new UK post-punk band? we're called Thomas Heatherwick's Routemaster. there's seven of us and three of us play saxophone

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